Meeting at Schotsky's

[WebMistressGina]

Well, like so many things that happen in my mind, the original idea that I was going to start on Grosse Point has been eliminated by another idea entirely. So, this idea comes from something I had wondered when I saw the Muppet Movie again as an adult - is the movie a true true story or a Hollywood True Story? I believe it's ToGa who had started a pretty in-depth story of how the Muppets came together and it furthered along my idea that the movie is, as Kermit puts it, "more or less" true to the actual story.

Well, thanks to some HIMYM nightly marathons, this idea was fleshed out and went knocking at my brain. So, here we go, folks, with another fic!



Everyone who is anyone knows who the Muppets are. From leader and director Kermit the Frog to leading lady and diva Miss Piggy to comedian Fozzie Bear; there are very few people who don’t know or haven’t seen anything that the consummate felt actors have done or been in.

In the summer of 1980, the Muppets first came to the big screen, sharing with their friends and fans how they came together as a group. In the movie, a young Robin the Frog – nephew to Kermit – sat in the audience and asked if the movie was the true story of how the Muppets met; Kermit’s reply was, “More or less.”

Many have pondered what the frog met by that. As with everything in Hollywood, sometimes there’s more to the story than what is shown onscreen and sometimes the Hollywood version is only a condensed version of what really happened.

Want to know how the Muppets really got together? Well, here is that story and that story actually starts in present day…

​

Meeting at Schotsky's​

Ch. I: Do You Remember That?

Lunch time at the Muppet Theatre was chaotic, which is to say that it was business as usual. The old time vaudeville theater turned show home to the zany group of actors was normally a wild and crazy, suited to the performers that passed through the doors day and night. This particular Friday was the start of what the performers’ called ‘pre-show weekend’ and what most regulars called ‘the weekend of ****’.

Reason being was that Fridays always started the dress rehearsals for their Muppet Show performances; shows were routinely put on Sundays, with a television crew in the audience to tape the mayhem that usually happened. The preceeding Friday and Saturday were usually the time in which performances were reviewed, approved, or nixed according to the director and stage manager or even the performers themselves.

On this Friday, everything was going to plan – in a hand basket. Already, the staff and crew had put out three fires (two hypothetical, one literal), had stopped a riot in the veggie union, and managed to renegotiate their contract with the electric company. All in all, a good day.

Down in the lower level of the theatre was the cantina, which was run off and on by Gladys Westmussler and the Swedish Chef. No one would ever accuse the two of knowing exactly what ingredients they put into whatever dish it was they called food, but they were at least being fed which was more than they could really say about being paid. Various tables were set up around the food court, though usually more than the allotted amount of people would crowd around certain tables.

At a four person table, Kermit the Frog, The Great Gonzo, Rowlf the Dog, and Scooter Grosse were trying to find out what the surprise was in their surprise casserole, a prospect that usually got them to either eat or discard that day’s offering. “Ten bucks on some sort of vegetable mix up,” Rowlf was saying. The other three were poised in watching and waiting as Scooter picked up his fork with the mysteriously colored yellow contraption on it.

“Ten bucks says you’ll spit it right back out,” Gonzo replied.

“That’s a given,” the stage manager grumbled. He had been wary about the meal when it wouldn’t fall off his fork once it had been turned upside down.

“Scooter,” Kermit admonished him. “If you’re not going to eat it…”

“Why? You want it?”

“What’re you? Crazy?” the frog exclaimed. “I’m not eating that!”

“C’mon on, Kermit,” Gonzo egged. “I’ll give you five bucks if you do.”

“Getting my stomach pumped will cost more than five bucks.”

“Not if you let Dr. Bob do it,” Rowlf said, wagging his eyebrows.

Kermit gave him a look of incredulouscy. “I might as well eat the blob on Scooter’s plate.”

Their banter was quickly interrupted by the sudden and frantic arrival of the show’s comic, Fozzie Bear. It was clear the bear must have run through the entire theatre just to reach them and that whatever he planned to tell them was of great importance because not only was he panting from lack of air, but he had taken off his signature pork pie hat and was wringing it along with a section of newspaper.

He quickly stammered out a reply that strangely sounded like, “Hi me habble bobble lie!”

“Fozzie,” Kermit said, calmly. “Slow down. You know you tend to ramble when you’re excited.”

“Hi me habble bobble lie.”

“Think before you speak.”

Taking a deep breath, not only to get more air to his brain but to calm himself, the bear thrust the newspaper in the face of his boss and friend and announced, “They’re tearing down Schotsky’s!”

“What?” Kermit exclaimed, taking the shoved paper and reading it over.

“No way!” Gonzo protested. “Why? That place is great!”

“Here it is,” Kermit began, reading the article quickly. “Long in being a popular local establishment, Schotsky’s in recent years has seen a dwindle in patrons, which equals a lull in business and profits. Schotsky’s is slated for demolition in the upcoming weeks in order to…Fozzie, where’s the rest of the article?”

Fozzie, who was still worrying his hat slightly, seemed to pick up speed as he realized what must have happened. “Sorry Kermit,” the comic replied, downtrodden. “I guess I was in such a hurry to show you guys the article, I may have ripped it out of the paper.”

“No worries, Foz,” Scooter piped up. “That’s probably the Sun and it’s online. We’ll just check it on my laptop when it get upstairs.”

“Man,” Rowlf sighed. “I hoped that isn’t true. We had some good times at that bar.”

“You’ve been?” Scooter asked.

“Oh yeah!” Fozzie responded. “We’d go there at least once a week. I got my start there, you know?”

“You did?” the stage manager. “I always thought that part about El Sleezo’s was right.”

“Well, I did work a place called El Sleezo’s,” Fozzie continued. “But I got my start right here at Schotsky’s.”

“We had our first unofficial meeting there, remember?” Rowlf asked, looking at Kermit.

“We officially met there,” the frog replied, pointing between him and the dog.

“Really?” Scooter asked, excitedly. While known to be in the know when it came to anything in regards to the group, there were some things that the stage manager actually didn’t know; like Kermit’s nephew, Scooter hadn’t heard the ‘official’ version of how the original and founding members met, taking his information from the script of their first movie.

“Oh yeah,” Rowlf said, leaning back in his chair. “Geez, how long ago was that? I still remember…”


More later today!

 

[The Count]

So this is running from Scooter coming in with the Mayhem at the rundown church and not knowing any of the real real story that came before in the first movie?
I was in the first movie.
I know, that's what we're asking her to clear up.
Other than the general confusion, this sounds promising and we want to read more. Post more please?

 

[Misskermie]

Wow, more please!

 

[WebMistressGina]

So this is running from Scooter coming in with the Mayhem at the rundown church and not knowing any of the real real story that came before in the first movie?

Well, not exactly.

Basically, it's kinda like a tie in from TMS to that of TMM. Granted, I saw the movies before I ever really knew about the show (other that Kermit was on Sesame Street) and really, the move is kinda Hollywood if you stop to think that this group of chickens, bears, pigs, frogs, and whatevers is being chased down by some frog leg chain.

Anyway, when you think about it - and believe me, I have - Scooter couldn't possibly be the manager for the Mayhem. If he came to the show at 14, 15 and the movie is place, oh let's say a year or two before they started the show, that makes him 12, 13. And I'm pretty sure he wasn't managing a band at that age (contrary to what the Naked Brothers Band would tell you)

Other than the general confusion, this sounds promising and we want to read more. Post more please?

Well it just so happens that I have the rest of chapter one right here. So, just to help a bit - each chapter will usually start in the present and then will segway back to the past. I actually made a bit of a mistake in this part as I thought that Kermit and Rowlf appeared together before Sesame Street, however both Muppet Wiki & Wikipedia proved me wrong, so you get this output instead.


chap I continued

The Past – 1960’s

Hollywood, he decided, was a pretty big place.

For one young, wide eyed frog, the lights and big names of Hollywood were as intimidating as getting a lecture from his stern father. This frog named Kermit had traveled a long way from the swamps of Louisiana to come here; all on a hunch and a dream.

There weren’t too many frogs like Kermit; most of his family were quite happy with their lives in the swamps – sitting around, laughing, playing, eating June bugs – but Kermit had always wanted more than that. Even when he was a tadpole, he had big dreams. They didn’t have much, when he was able to venture out on his own and get into some of the nearby towns, that’s when he discovered this thing called radio, where he could hear the voices of people coming from the little tiny speaker system. And then, came something called television and everything Kermit knew about the world changed.

And his dreams of making people happy by doing something he loved suddenly clicked and was made clear. He would achieve that dream and he would do it through the television. Of course, the swamps of Louisiana are completely different from that of the big city of Hollywood and while Kermit always had the dream, he knew realistically that he could never truly make it happen.

Until he came face to face with a talent agent.

This guy – Bernie something or other – was clearly a city boy on his first ever outing in the country and was very eager to get back to that life of bright lights and big sounds. How he managed to get so lost, Kermit – nor Bernie – knew, but the agent had come across the banjo playing frog and was not only stunned – how many frogs play banjo? – but impressed. Doing something he rarely did, he handed over his card and told the frog to look him up whenever he got to Hollywood.

After careful examination and explanation and inner struggle, Kermit decided this was the best opportunity he’d probably get, so he jumped on it. Taking what he had, with some help from thousands of family members, Kermit the Frog managed a bus ticket to Hollywood. And after stepping off the bus, he immediately went and bought a bike to travel with. He didn’t have much, but thankfully a near miss with a car gave him a little extra; he still needed to find some cheap lodgings and that’s what brought him to a rather questionable area of the city.

The bright lights that he had seen on TV were a bit dimmer here and he saw things he probably shouldn’t be seeing as he walked down the sidewalk. The sounds of laughter and music caught his attention however, which were coming from some place called ‘Schotsky’s’. Kermit had certainly seen bars before, but he had never been in one and he was under the impression that bars were where biker gangs and sailors hung out, but the raucous noise of piano playing stirred the musician in him and he couldn’t help but want to peek in.

If it was dim outside, this place was slight brighter. It was relatively small, with a few tables and booths scattered around; in one corner seemed to be the majority of the bar’s patrons and also where the sounds of the piano and what the frog now recognized as singing coming from it. He had never heard the song before, but it sounded kinda jazzy and upbeat, though he attributed it to the loud and boisterous tenor who was singing.

They call her hard hearted Hannah,
The vamp of Savannah,
The meanest gal in town.
Talk of your cold, refrigeratin’ mamas
Oh brother, she’s a polar bear’s pajamas!

For the shorter frog, Kermit couldn’t see who the singer was, but it was obvious that they were a regular or at least should have been. Seeing an open place at the bar, the frog took a seat and listened to the rest of the song, only ordering a water to start – and completely missing the annoyance on the bartender’s face at the request. When the pianist finished, he clapped along with everyone else and watched as the sea of men and women parted, allowing the pianist and singer to step away.

It was a dog, a brown dog to be exact, with floppy brown ears that shook whenever he moved his head. He was shaking hands with men and receiving kisses and pats on the head from the women around. The dog headed towards the bar, taking the seat next to Kermit, and ordering himself one beer; the bartender must’ve known him because the beer was on the house, as well as the bowl of kibble that went with it.

“That was an incredible number you did,” Kermit spoke, causing the dog to look at him.

“Oh thanks,” the pup replied, nodding at the compliment. “Just a little something I do. Hey, you’re new around here, aren’t you?”

“That obvious, huh?”

“Well, I just meant that I know just about everybody here,” the dog continued. “And I think I’d recall a talking frog.”

“I hope you’re not confusing me with that cartoon frog,” Kermit groused.

“Depends,” the dog replied. “Do you sing and dance?”

“I can.”

“Okay,” he said. “Is your name Michigan?”

“No,” Kermit said. “Why?”

“That’s the name of the other frog.”

“They named him after a state?” the non-cartoon frog asked. “Why not call him Kansas or Ohio or something?”

“You’re talking about the company who’s mascot is a talking rabbit,” the dog chuckled. “Don’t even get me started on the folks with the talking mouse.”

“They’re a lot of talking animals in Hollywood.”

“And some of those aren’t even people,” the dog joked, causing his companion to laugh along with him. Holding out a paw, he replied with, “Rowlf, Rowlf the Dog.”

“Kermit,” the frog said, taking said paw with a flipper and shaking it. “Kermit the Frog.”

“Hey, that rhymes,” Rowlf chuckled.

Kermit couldn’t help but chuckle himself. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

“So what’s a frog like you doing in a place like this?”

“What else?” the frog said. “Trying to find fame and fortune, I guess. I have this crazy dream of entertaining people and making them happy. I thought, what better place to try than Hollywood?”

“That’s a good plan,” Rowlf nodded. “And I think I might be able to help you out. I do this little show on TV and it just so happens that one of the guys I work with wants to go out and do the same kind of dream you have…”


And of course, here's the song featured by the ever great Ella Fitzgerald.

 

[The Count]

The only thing I have to say...

The swamps of Louisiana?
Other than that, this second half chapter was amusing and nice to read about the meeting between and where, wait for it...
Their meeting at a bar called Shotsky's.
Tom Servo: Yes, we have a title!
I've gotten so much mileage out of that quip,
Good stuff with grousing over their animated POPCORN peers. *Look it up on Muppet Wiki).

Thanks and hope to read more when you can post it.

 

[Misskermie]

Woo hoo! I got warm fuzzies from it...
More please.

 

[WebMistressGina]

The only thing I have to say...

The swamps of Louisiana?

I done heard from Kermit himself that he is from that way. That's actually true; I was watching a recent episode of Ellen (well, the one during the 2012 movie release) and IIRC, Ellen mentioned that they were both from the same area, as Ellen is from Louisiana. Kermit mentioned that he was further from her because he was in the swamps.

I'll have to find that clip, but I'm sure I saw it on YouTube when I had taken an uexpectant YouTube video walk (like a Wiki walk, but on YT).

Other than that, this second half chapter was amusing and nice to read about the meeting between and where, wait for it...
Their meeting at a bar called Shotsky's.
Tom Servo: Yes, we have a title!

Again, for whatever reason, my latest obsession with HIMYM actually put this idea into prospective; that is, I originally had the idea, but it seemed to flesh itself out a bit more the more I'm watching the show. It also helped with Grosse Point, which I am also working on. Hopefully.

Kermit and Rowlf aren't the only ones who will be meeting at Schotsky's.

Good stuff with grousing over their animated POPCORN peers. *Look it up on Muppet Wiki).

Thanks and hope to read more when you can post it.

Uh...so I looked up 'popcorn' and 'animate popcorn' and 'popcorn peers' and 'animated popcorn peers' on Muppet Wiki and it thought I was crazy. So I'm guessing I don't get it.

I don't know why, but Kermit's reply that Rowlf was thinking of a certain cartoon frog just came to me, though I've heard and seen them make enough references to their new bosses of the talking mouse to get the gist. I think.

More in a bit!

 

[WebMistressGina]

Here's chapter two until I get home!


Chap II – Good Grief! The Comedian’s a Bear

Back in the present day, four highly disappointed Muppets were making their way upstairs to the theatre proper, where the stage, dressing rooms, and usual Muppet antics took place. The group of five had just been given the news that a popular mainstay of theirs, Schotsky’s, was slated for demolition in the upcoming weeks and while the reasons were currently unknown, it still didn’t stop four of the group from being extremely solemn about the news.

As they made their way from the cantina to that of upstairs, Scooter had begun to inquire just how Fozzie had gotten his start at completely different bar than he was led to believe. As one of the younger members of the troupe, Scooter didn’t know much about the Muppets before they had rented the theatre from his uncle and before he began working there; he had gathered bits and pieces of the puzzle by just working with those he called friends and family.

While he had been aware that not all of what they portrayed in their first movie was true – after all, there had been laws that prevented him from managing a group like the Electric Mayhem – but there were parts of it that he had believed had been true, such as Fozzie’s start and his eventual meeting with Kermit.

“So my uncle let me take his car,” Fozzie was explaining. “And I made the drive out here. Luckily, I had some relatives out in the redwoods and stuff, but even still, if I hadn’t heard about Schotsky’s, I’d be one out of luck bear.”

“So you started doing standup at Schotsky’s?” Scooter asked. “When did you get to El Sleezo’s?”

“Oh I was doing both,” the bear replied. “But I had my first ever gig at Schotsky’s. In fact, I’d only be doing my act for a few months when Kermit came in. Hey Kermit, you remember that?”

“Of course I do,” the frog griped, though he sent a smile the bear’s way. “I still have the bruises to prove it.”

“Ah, it wasn’t that bad,” Fozzie replied, though he did blush sheepishly. “Those bottles never even touched us.”

Scooter shot the two a look of confusion. “You remember that scene in our first movie?” Kermit asked. “The one where Fozzie was almost bear tar tar?”

“Yeah…”

“Well that really happened,” Kermit said. “It just didn’t happen at El Sleezo’s. Well…not the first time anyway…”

The Past – 1970s

Comedy was changing in the world. No more were the snide remarks or witty banter that was usually present on the screen and stage of the radio era. Now, people wanted realism, they wanted truth. It was a hard world out there and people wanted to be told it was a hard world.

Well, not Fozzie Bear.

He had grown up with the great comedy legends – Bob Hope, Jack Benny, George Burns – and ever since the first time his mother put him in front of a radio to listen to her favorite broadcasts, the bear cub had been hooked. He liked the way people laughed when something funny happened and for him – a rather shy, gentle, and non-violent bear at heart – making people laugh on purpose was a lot better than having them laugh at him for no purpose at all.

But by the time he had plucked up the courage to move from his Upper East Coast roots, the landscape of comedy was changing. From the happy go lucky times of Dick Van Dyke came the hard hitting reality of Maude; from the Sid Caesar show to that of Laugh-In; it was hard being a comedian, especially one who was trying to get back to the very roots which inspired him in the first place.

Tonight, he was marking his first six months in the big city of Hollywood by working Schotsky’s. Out of all of the bars and comedy clubs he had gotten in to – mainly that and a creepy place called El Sleezo’s – Schotsky’s was by far the nicest and safest place he would possibly work in. Forget that the owner was nice to him, but the crowd was generally nice with the splatter of applause when he managed to score one out of the park.

Tonight however he must’ve come on a bad night and it showed.

The original headliner had cancelled for whatever reason and Fozzie had been picked to fill in. Unfortunately, the headliner was some big shot, big trouble type of comedian and the people that normally came to his shows were also big shots and big trouble; tonight’s crowd was made up of members from the very scary and very dangerous ****’s Angels bike gang and they were not liking the bear’s brand of comedy.

Not. One. Bit.

Fozzie wasn’t the only one was felt they had stepped into some weird Twilight Zone episode. Rowlf the Dog and Kermit the Frog had been coming in to Schotsky’s for a drink for several years, ever since they met back at the bar all those years ago. Rowlf had been co-star to legendary singer Jimmy Dean and Kermit had been a wide eyed country frog who wanted to make his way in show business.

That chance meeting had led to exactly that, with Rowlf and Jimmy introducing the frog to a man named Jim Henson, who was branching out on his own in television after getting his start on the Jimmy Dean Show as well. Henson tapped Kermit to co-star in a short series of shows called Sam & Friends and while the show hadn’t gotten completely off the ground, it had inspired Henson to think on something else. A one-time conversation with Henson, Dean, Rowlf, and Kermit had brought up the fact that there weren’t any learning shows for kids; with the way the world was changing, so many shows were aimed at adults and many of those shows weren’t meant for kids to watch.

The group had equally lamented that they themselves had families or had siblings with families and watching young children not learn everything they could was disheartening. That’s when Henson came up with the premise of a show aimed at kids, which would have kids learning at the same time the children at home were. He had asked both Rowlf and Kermit to help him pitch the idea and while initially Kermit was a bit leery on the idea, when the concept sold it was the frog they wanted on.

So while Kermit went on to a place called Sesame Street, Rowlf was free to pursue his first love, which was music. But even with their separate paths, the two friends always tried to meet up when they could and they always met up at Schotsky’s. It was that particular night that the two managed to landed themselves in the middle of a large amount of bikers, which for Schotsky’s was a weird type of clientele all together.

“It’s not that I don’t love being on the show,” the frog was saying, once they had taken their seats. “It’s just…”

“You’re not a kid,” the dog supplied.

“Yeah,” Kermit sighed. “But it’s more than that. So much of TV is either aimed at adults or kids, but have you noticed there isn’t anything aimed at both?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, look at that Laugh-In show…”

“That’s a pretty funny show.”

“Right,” the frog said. “But kids wouldn’t know that, cause they don’t get half of the jokes. And that’s assuming that they’re even up to watch it.”

“So what do you want to do, Kermit?” Rowlf asked, looking at the frog. “Make your own show?”

“I don’t know,” the frog sighed again. “Just…something. I can’t be on Sesame Street forever. Can I?”

“If your contract holds out, sure.”

The two continued to discuss their present situations, all the while noting that more and more bikers were coming in and not going out. “Hey Rowlf?” Kermit whispered, throwing a concerned look over his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“What’re all of these bikers doing here?”

“Didn’t you hear?” the dog began, leaning forward in order to keep his voice low. “They had Rocco Mars scheduled to perform tonight.”

“Who?”

“Rocco Mars,” Rowlf repeated, motioning Kermit to take the seat next to him so they wouldn’t have to whisper so loudly. “He works blue, you know, that’s in right now. Anyway, I was talking to Sheila earlier and she said he cancelled; unfortunately, I don’t think the message got to our leather friends here.”

“That…can’t be good.”

“No.”

“So,” Kermit gulped. He’d seen enough biker movies to know not to get on the bad side of one, especially a very angry one who has just found out their favorite comic wouldn’t be performing. “Who’d they get to sub for him?”

“Apparently one of the regulars they have in here.”

“Is he any good?”

“For his sake,” the dog muttered. “He’d better be.”

“Hiya hiya hiya folks!” exclaimed a fuzzy bear from the stage. “My name is Fozzie Bear and I’ll be your entertainment for tonight. You know, I just flew in from the east coast and boy are my arms tired!”

“He’s doomed,” Kermit stated.

Apparently, the bikers thought the same because before the bear had even finished that horrible joke, the crowd was already booing and chanting that they wanted Rocco.

“Hey hey,” Fozzie interrupted. “I hate to tell you guys, and believe me this will probably pain me more than it will you, but Rocco Mars won’t be appearing tonight.” More boos nearly cause the bear to flee; or wet himself. “But hey! You’ve got me! What’s Rocco got that I don’t?”

“Talent!” someone screamed from the audience.

“That’s not nice,” the bear protested. “I’ve got plenty of talent. Why, the other day I ran into a man with a wooden named Smith, so naturally I asked him what he named his other leg! Ah!”

“The natives are getting restless,” Rowlf rumbled to his companion.

“The natives are getting angry,” Kermit countered. “And I’m pretty sure that insults aren’t the only arsenal they have up their sleeves. Or cut-offs.”

“C’mon fellas,” the bear pleaded. “Give a guy a break here.”

“Oh we’ll give you a break, alright!”

“Not in the literal sense!”

“That bear’s gonna find himself a rug,” Rowlf said. “I think you should go up there and save him.”

Kermit looked at the dog in surprise. “Why me?”

“Cause you’re fast on your feet,” the dog grinned. “You can hop to it.”

“Frog jokes,” the frog deadpanned. “The dog’s trying to be funny. And what, pray tell, will you be doing while I’m risking life and limb?”

“Simple,” the pianist replied, standing slightly. “I’m gonna play you some tunes to escape to.”

The two friends got up from their seats, one heading towards the abandoned piano while the other made his way on stage, where a shaky bear was on the verge of crying. “Can you dance?” the frog asked.

“What?”

“Can you dance?”

“Mister Frog, sir,” the bear pleaded. “I’ll do anything as long as it keeps me alive.”

“You and me both, two, three, four.”

With Rowlf providing some shuffle time rhythms, the frog and bear combo were able to literally dance their way off stage and luckily, out of the line of fire. Whatever the bikers had planned were quickly squished with no target in sight and thankfully, instead of inciting a full blown riot, they all just decided the place wasn’t up to their particular snuff and left in raucous huffs.

Backstage, or rather on the side of the stage that couldn’t be quite seen by patrons, Kermit was doing his best to make sure that the bear he rescued didn’t lose his lunch all over the floor or worse, all over him. When Rowlf joined them a few moments later, Fozzie seemed calm enough to at least thank his benefactors.

“You guys are the best!” the bear gushed. “I’d be a rug for sure if it wasn’t for you.”

“That usually doesn’t happen,’ Rowlf began.

“Oh I know!” Fozzie stated. “I usually play here about once or twice a month and the crowd loves me.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Kermit replied.

“Adores me, then,” the comedian said.

“No…” Kermit said. “I don’t think so.”

“Alright,” Fozzie responded. “Likes me then; the crowd really likes me.”

“Yeah,” the frog again interrupted. “I’m just not seeing it.”

“I venture that you barely manage to leave the stage intact,” Rowlf guessed.

“Hey!” the bear cried, indignantly. “I resent that!”

“Do you deny it?” asked Kermit.

“No,” the bear sighed. “But I resent it. I really am trying!”

“That’s half the battle right there when you think about it,” said Rowlf. “Some of the best comedians never got a break right from the start, so…”

“Yeah!” Fozzie exclaimed. Holding out a paw, he proclaimed, “Fozzie Bear, soon to be famous comedian!”

“Rowlf,” Rowlf replied, taking the hand and shaking it. “Rowlf the Dog.”

“Kermit the Frog.”

“Hey,” Fozzie laughed. “That rhymes!”

“We know.”

“Well,” the bear said, nodding to the two of them. “Thanks again, fellas, for saving me that angry bike mob. I won’t forget it, you wait and see. When I get famous, I’ll remember you guys in my opening monologue.”

The frog and dog duo looked at each other in amusement; this was one determined bear! Turning back to Fozzie, Kermit replied, “Oh good.”

“You guys should come back the next time I’m in,” Fozzie suggested. “I know I’ll be better next time, I just know it!”

“Can’t argue with luck,” the dog muttered. “Alright kid, we’ll take you up on the offer. We’re in at least once a week anyway.”

“Great!” the bear exclaimed. “I promise, you won’t regret it. Just you wait; I’m gonna be on TV someday, just like Bob Hope and Jonathan Winters. Maybe even on a show!”

“Good luck with that,” Kermit stated. Under his breathed, he muttered to Rowlf, “You’re gonna need it.”

 

[The Count]

Hi WMG...

POPCORNS: The club for People Other People Consider to be Other than Real or Normal Specimens.
Members include Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, and Kermit The Frog.
Source: Kermit's Christmas Diary, a story in Jim Henson's Muppet Show Annual 1982.

What?! *Throws brick at that youtube clip.
I... HATE... ELLEN!
Thank you for giving me yet another reason to call her by the nickname I coined way back when, Quellen DisIngenuous.
Kermit's from the swamps of Florida you stupid *gets bleeped out*! You'd know that because we had the same screamish reaction when they got that trivia question question info wrong on Celebrity Millionaire 2 when Kermit showed up during Jon Stewart's second day, when they said he was from the swamps of Georgia!

Will come back later to read Ch 2, I need to calm down.
*Leaves in a huff like the frog often does himself.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Hi WMG...

POPCORNS: The club for People Other People Consider to be Other than Real or Normal Specimens.
Members include Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, and Kermit The Frog.
Source: Kermit's Christmas Diary, a story in Jim Henson's Muppet Show Annual 1982.

Ah, see that would make sense.

What?! *Throws brick at that youtube clip.
I... HATE... ELLEN!

*cowering in fear* Uh...okay. Uh...why?

Kermit's from the swamps of Florida you stupid *gets bleeped out*! You'd know that because we had the same screamish reaction when they got that trivia question question info wrong on Celebrity Millionaire 2 when Kermit showed up during Jon Stewart's second day, when they said he was from the swamps of Georgia!

Oh. See...I actually didn't know that and to be truthful, Florida isn't really a southern state and I say that as someone who has southern (and by that I mean NC and WV) relatives. And...Kermit's kinda got a little down home southern charm which I never saw when I was in Florida.

: What're you doing?

Me: (backing away) I just...you know...look, just stand there for a minute, okay?

: Okay. (nervous) Kinda fearing for my life.

: What?

Me: Look, I just need the two of you to just...stand there, okay? Just, stand and chill, alright?

: Meep?

Me: Look, everybody just shut up and stand, okay? Just...stand!

*pushes plate of cookies by Beakie*

: Meep?

Me: No, you can't. You just need to stand there. Look, if the Count comes by, let him have a cookie, okay?

: What kind of cookies?

Not you! Hey, wait, no! You! You stand there! Don't move!

: What're you doing?

I figure if I enough of you surrounding me, I will be spare the vengeance, you know.

: Me heard there were cookies?

Yes. Yes, there are, but only if you stand there. And for pete's sake no body move! shield me with your foamy bodies!

: Are you kidding me!?

Do I look like I'm kidding? Listen Pork Chops, you get no feature story if I'm missing in the swamps of Florida, a'ight? Now you stand there like a good piece of bacon!

: I don't have to stand for this!

You will stand there and take it and like it!