Have you ever been bullied?

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

I was bullied around a lot as a kid. There are times where I feel I'm bullied nowadays too. I'm not sure how much I should divulge though.

 

[kyunkyua]

It's weird - you'd think I would be an easy target for bullying, but I haven't had many problems with it. There were a few kids on the bus in 6th grade who called me poop names. I tried to pretend they weren't there, since my bus ride was only 5 minutes, but half the time I would get off the bus crying to myself. Eventually I got a social worker to intervene. I think that scared them out of it. The worst of them was so obnoxious that he was banned from the bus later anyway.

 

[AlittleMayhem]

I have Autism, so my odd behavior was an easy target for bullying when I was in primary school and the first two years of high school. No one seemed to understand why I didn't want to join in games all the time so they called me a spoiled sport. Things like these really wound me up and everyone found it funny how easily angered I was. The more they teased, the more mad I got. Luckily, I'm not a violent person so I never threw any punches, but I kept wishing I did. I always told teachers and my parents how I felt, but even so it still continued. I tried standing up for myself, but when ever I did, it always backfired because I didn't know how to retort or come up with a strong argument and they always ended up with the upper hand. When I tried making friends with them, I tried imitating how they behaved and acted, but they'd mock me since I was the good girl and they, well, weren't entirely good.

For a while I was bitter whenever I suspected someone was talking about me and a lashed out, but it turned out I was overacting. Because of wanting to fit in, I did small thing I regret, but I guess I didn't want friend like them. They were too social and didn't accept that I sometimes wanted to be alone. When I hung out with people, I found it boring as I wasn't into a lot of the things they were. Luckily I got help from teachers and my parents were great with everything and eventually, I was happy.

Now that I'm older, I have great friends who accept me for who I am and understand my condition. I've grown to be more tolerable and though I still worry about what people think of me, I usually push them aside and learn not to care. So while it left a few scars, the bullying taught me a few lessons in life and shaped me into a better person.

 

[newsmanfan]

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My sympathies to any of you who've been, or still are, bullied. There's a huge difference between toughlove /constructive criticism to motivate a student, and utter meanness. I firmly believe those who bully do so because of their own low self-esteem and desperate need to seem "cool" to their peers. Regrettably, some people (and I use the term loosely) never grow out of it, never become self-aware enough to gain any insight into themselves or anyone else. Sociopaths, and we seem to have more of them out of the woodwork every year...

I was out-of-shape often as a child, and until age 13 wore what can only be described as coke-bottle-bottoms-with-sticks for glasses. (I love contacts. Love 'em.) Add to that my silent, antisocial, bookish nature, and of course I was an easy target. I basically just shut up and took it until about the end of 8th grade. Going into a new school for 9th, I decided enough was enough. Oh, so you think I'm weird? Little-brained titmice, you have yet to SEE weird! I went all-out, defied all convention at that school, ignored the sniggerers and stood silent and dared the boldest of them to start something with me toe-to-toe. I never actually wound up in a fight. I was pushed too far once by some shallow little cheerleader in the hallway, and challenged her to put up or shut up in the parking lot after school. Then, of course, I realized no way would she allow a fair fight, and I didn't relish the idea of having to defend myself from her whole cadre of made-up-like-Tammy-Faye morons and their jock boyfriends. (Also, I was a very small frosh, and she and her cronies were seniors. Not good odds.)

I asked a psychopathic friend of mine (no joke -- this guy was scary, but he liked me and we hung out with friends in common) to help, and he ran home and grabbed his considerable arsenal of ninja weapons. The whole affair could have been bloodily comic, but fortunately (for her, at least) the cheerleader failed to show...and when next I saw her in the hallway I made sure everyone around knew what a coward she was, mocking her happily. I guess she didn't want to press the issue, as nothing further happened in high school. Reputation is, unfortunately, everything. I wouldn't recommend this approach for anyone else, unless you DO have a somewhat crazy weaponry-obsessed delinquent on your side, and you do intend to lay into your enemy, no matter the cost. I was lucky. I fully expected to still wind up in jail or the hospital...but I thought, better that than to have this wretched harassment continue.
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[Gonzo's Hobbit]

The thing I always hated about the bullying issue were the responses or the excuses.

"Ask them nicely to stop and they will" --right, because I didn't try that already
"He does that because he secretly likes you"-- Really? Because him kicking me while I'm sitting by my locker is an odd way of showing it
"They're jealous because you're smart"--Gee, that makes me feel a whole lot better
"Well what did you do to intigate it?"--I said somethine that apprently they didn't like. Sorry, my bad.

I know it doesn't do a lot of good to stay angry about it. But sometimes it's hard not too. It's even harder when it happens currently and I hear the same or similar responses.

 

[CensoredAlso]

"Ask them nicely to stop and they will" --right, because I didn't try that already

Sometimes being nice can work but it really depends on the person and situation. A girl was constantly picking on me in High School but one day when I defended her against other people's teasing she really appreciated it and we were fine after that. Some bullies do just have this weird frame of mind that you don't like them, but don't understand why not. Don't ask me to explain it, lol.

"They're jealous because you're smart"--Gee, that makes me feel a whole lot better

Reminds me of that Beach Boys song "They say I've got brains but they ain't doing me no good." Lol

 

[D'Snowth]

The thing I always hated about the bullying issue were the responses or the excuses.

"He does that because he secretly likes you"-- Really? Because him kicking me while I'm sitting by my locker is an odd way of showing it

Oh my gosh, I've always HATED whenever my mother would say that anytime a random girl would be giving me the business! I even remember an old best friend of mine and I talking about these different stock-answers mothers always have for everything, and how that one never made any sense. HOWEVER, I know in sometimes, that is the case, not necessarily from a bullying aspect, but simple gentle and affectionate teasing.

That, and other one that I hate so much is when your mother tells you to invite your bullies, or those who don't like you to your birthday party, "because you'll hurt their feelings if you don't"... really? If they don't like me, how would NOT inviting them to my birthday party hurt their feelings? Besides, they NEVER come anyway, so what's the point? Again, that was another mothers' stock-answer that made no sense... not to shamelessly plug, but I expressed that exact same thought in this comic I did several years ago:

http://josephscarbrough.blogspot.com/2011/05/bethanys-birthday.html (Just scroll down to the bottom of the post and look at the first two pages).

 

[CensoredAlso]

That, and other one that I hate so much is when your mother tells you to invite your bullies, or those who don't like you to your birthday party, "because you'll hurt their feelings if you don't"... really? If they don't like me, how would NOT inviting them to my birthday party hurt their feelings?

Seriously though sometimes it is true. It seems insane but some people who bully do feel hurt if they think you don't like them.

The reason they bully in the first place is because they have faulty social skills, lol.

 

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

Seriously though sometimes it is true. It seems insane but some people who bully do feel hurt if they think you don't like them.

The reason they bully in the first place is because they have faulty social skills, lol.

I understand that but sometimes it's hard to do anything about it.

A case in point, my little sister has had time where she will totally go off on me that I never wanted to do much with her as a kid so she has every reason for being mad at me now. That may be true but one very good reason for that was that she had (and still does) a tendancy to loose her temperature horribly which often leads to verbal and/or physical abuse. I love her and many times we are able to do stuff together but sometimes it is very hard to want to spend time with someone like that.

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm contradicting you heralde, it was just meant to be an addition

 

[CensoredAlso]

I understand that but sometimes it's hard to do anything about it.

Oh absolutely and that's why it's important to crack down on bullying, not just for the victims but for the bullies who are hurting themselves.