fuzzygobo
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- May 11, 2004
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I'm glad now there are anti-bullying laws being passed and schools are taking a zero-tolerance stance. 30 years ago none of this existed.
Back then, bullying was an accepted (if regrettable) fact of life. The prevailing attitude, if you were being picked on, was (a) suffer in silence, or (b) learn to fight your own battles. Parents didn't want to get involved, teachers didn't want to get involved, police didn't want to get involved, so you really had nobody to turn to. In fact, you'd be shunned by many of your classmates for not being able to stick up for yourself, so it seemed you had little or no recourse.
I only had one run-in with a bully. Just one. My freshman year in high school, a kid came over to me in the cafeteria and started giving me grief. My instinct was to ignore him, but he kept up his bullying for two days. Now I've grown to hate violence, and I'm not a fighter by any stretch of the imagination. The last thing I wanted to do was get in a fight with this guy.
Day Two he kept up his provocation, and it was all I could do to keep him at bay. I can tolerate name calling. I can even tolerate (barely) you saying something about my mother (although now you're really pushing your luck). But when he started poking me, increasing harder, DARING me to hit him, I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. I've told him repeatedly to stop. I'm holding back tears, because I DO NOT want to fight this guy. But he was pushing me without showing any signs of stopping. I was afraid of getting into a fight, but I was even more afraid what might happen if I didn't do something to stop him. So I summoned up all my strength and courage, and belted him in the face. Then the fists started flying, and we're rolling on the floor, and when you're in a packed cafeteria with a hundred kids looking on, it's SHOWTIME!!!
About a minute later, the vice-principal came in to break it up. I got a bloody nose, but my bully got a black eye for his troubles. Our parents had to come and get us, and we both received three days out-of-school suspension, which was the highest level of discipline short of getting expelled.
I went home to my room and cried my eyes out. I was so shaken over the event. I was mortified over resorting to violence, and that I was capable of inflicting that kind of damage on someone else. But after that, no bully ever bothered me again, and in the structure of society at that time, I earned my stripes.
I still regret laying a hand on him, but it seemed like it was inevitable. As painful as it was, I wasn't going to let him make a victim out of me, and I'll defend to my dying day I was acting out of self-defense. Back then, we still only fought with our fists, no guns, no knives, nofacebook or youtube either. Since that day, a lot of my classmates gave me some newfound respect for standing my ground. But I still abhor violence, and hope I never have to use my fists again.
For anyone who has ever been bullied, my heart feels for you. For anyone who ever was a bully, I even have some compassion for you, since you were probably abused in some way, which is how the vicious cycle usually starts. Hopefully more steps will be taken so you kids today don't have to go through what my generation did.
Back then, bullying was an accepted (if regrettable) fact of life. The prevailing attitude, if you were being picked on, was (a) suffer in silence, or (b) learn to fight your own battles. Parents didn't want to get involved, teachers didn't want to get involved, police didn't want to get involved, so you really had nobody to turn to. In fact, you'd be shunned by many of your classmates for not being able to stick up for yourself, so it seemed you had little or no recourse.
I only had one run-in with a bully. Just one. My freshman year in high school, a kid came over to me in the cafeteria and started giving me grief. My instinct was to ignore him, but he kept up his bullying for two days. Now I've grown to hate violence, and I'm not a fighter by any stretch of the imagination. The last thing I wanted to do was get in a fight with this guy.
Day Two he kept up his provocation, and it was all I could do to keep him at bay. I can tolerate name calling. I can even tolerate (barely) you saying something about my mother (although now you're really pushing your luck). But when he started poking me, increasing harder, DARING me to hit him, I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. I've told him repeatedly to stop. I'm holding back tears, because I DO NOT want to fight this guy. But he was pushing me without showing any signs of stopping. I was afraid of getting into a fight, but I was even more afraid what might happen if I didn't do something to stop him. So I summoned up all my strength and courage, and belted him in the face. Then the fists started flying, and we're rolling on the floor, and when you're in a packed cafeteria with a hundred kids looking on, it's SHOWTIME!!!
About a minute later, the vice-principal came in to break it up. I got a bloody nose, but my bully got a black eye for his troubles. Our parents had to come and get us, and we both received three days out-of-school suspension, which was the highest level of discipline short of getting expelled.
I went home to my room and cried my eyes out. I was so shaken over the event. I was mortified over resorting to violence, and that I was capable of inflicting that kind of damage on someone else. But after that, no bully ever bothered me again, and in the structure of society at that time, I earned my stripes.
I still regret laying a hand on him, but it seemed like it was inevitable. As painful as it was, I wasn't going to let him make a victim out of me, and I'll defend to my dying day I was acting out of self-defense. Back then, we still only fought with our fists, no guns, no knives, nofacebook or youtube either. Since that day, a lot of my classmates gave me some newfound respect for standing my ground. But I still abhor violence, and hope I never have to use my fists again.
For anyone who has ever been bullied, my heart feels for you. For anyone who ever was a bully, I even have some compassion for you, since you were probably abused in some way, which is how the vicious cycle usually starts. Hopefully more steps will be taken so you kids today don't have to go through what my generation did.