Have you ever been bullied?

[fuzzygobo]

I'm glad now there are anti-bullying laws being passed and schools are taking a zero-tolerance stance. 30 years ago none of this existed.
Back then, bullying was an accepted (if regrettable) fact of life. The prevailing attitude, if you were being picked on, was (a) suffer in silence, or (b) learn to fight your own battles. Parents didn't want to get involved, teachers didn't want to get involved, police didn't want to get involved, so you really had nobody to turn to. In fact, you'd be shunned by many of your classmates for not being able to stick up for yourself, so it seemed you had little or no recourse.

I only had one run-in with a bully. Just one. My freshman year in high school, a kid came over to me in the cafeteria and started giving me grief. My instinct was to ignore him, but he kept up his bullying for two days. Now I've grown to hate violence, and I'm not a fighter by any stretch of the imagination. The last thing I wanted to do was get in a fight with this guy.

Day Two he kept up his provocation, and it was all I could do to keep him at bay. I can tolerate name calling. I can even tolerate (barely) you saying something about my mother (although now you're really pushing your luck). But when he started poking me, increasing harder, DARING me to hit him, I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. I've told him repeatedly to stop. I'm holding back tears, because I DO NOT want to fight this guy. But he was pushing me without showing any signs of stopping. I was afraid of getting into a fight, but I was even more afraid what might happen if I didn't do something to stop him. So I summoned up all my strength and courage, and belted him in the face. Then the fists started flying, and we're rolling on the floor, and when you're in a packed cafeteria with a hundred kids looking on, it's SHOWTIME!!!

About a minute later, the vice-principal came in to break it up. I got a bloody nose, but my bully got a black eye for his troubles. Our parents had to come and get us, and we both received three days out-of-school suspension, which was the highest level of discipline short of getting expelled.
I went home to my room and cried my eyes out. I was so shaken over the event. I was mortified over resorting to violence, and that I was capable of inflicting that kind of damage on someone else. But after that, no bully ever bothered me again, and in the structure of society at that time, I earned my stripes.

I still regret laying a hand on him, but it seemed like it was inevitable. As painful as it was, I wasn't going to let him make a victim out of me, and I'll defend to my dying day I was acting out of self-defense. Back then, we still only fought with our fists, no guns, no knives, nofacebook or youtube either. Since that day, a lot of my classmates gave me some newfound respect for standing my ground. But I still abhor violence, and hope I never have to use my fists again.

For anyone who has ever been bullied, my heart feels for you. For anyone who ever was a bully, I even have some compassion for you, since you were probably abused in some way, which is how the vicious cycle usually starts. Hopefully more steps will be taken so you kids today don't have to go through what my generation did.

 

[D'Snowth]

Oh yeah, I've been on the receiving end of bullying myself, which is why I think they have waited far too long to start making bullying a serious issue, and launching all these anti-bullying campaigns and such... it's sad that it took a few teenagers committing suicide to bring bullying to the forefront of people's attention, and it's also sad that that's how low some people will stoop to make someone else feel miserable about themselves.

When I was in elementary school, the closest thing I had to a bully was that my best friend had ANOTHER best friend, so we were pretty much rivals simply because he felt like I was trying moving in on his territory, so-to-speak. That's the closest thing that ever came to a bully for me, but when I went into middle school, that was a whole different story: my middle school was right smack dab in the middle of the ghetto, sandwiches inbetween two housing projects, and did I mention this was actually supposed to be a artistic school? Needless to say, being a white kid in a mostly black school, I was pretty much a target already, but I was mostly a target because I was one of those fat kids that everybody always has to ridicule, either to their face, or behind their backs. And you're right Fuzzy, sometimes those who you think are your 'friends' DO kind of shun you for not standing up for yourself... there have been a number of occasions where my acquaintences will tell me I need to stand up for myself, but the problem was my parents told me just the opposite, that standing up for yourself is only asking for it... but in retrospect, I think my parents weren't necessarily trying to keep me from standing up for myself so much as they were trying to make sure I didn't end up getting into something worse... again, this was the ghetto, there have been a LOT of full-blown, knock-down, drag-out fights, a number of which the security guards (yeah, this school had ARMED secured guards before security guards in school was the norm) would have to break up, and we've had our share of lock-downs and bomb threats, etc. Some of those kids actually would taunt the officers as well, it was a pretty bad situations, and a hair-raising three years of my life.

But yes, I feel for the victims of bullying since I too have been in that position.

 

[CensoredAlso]

I was bullied seriously from Kindergarten to about 5th grade. It was a small class, same people every year and I was deemed the weird one therefore deserved isolation, giggling and having my best friend stolen from me. Very little was ever really done about it. I try not to think about it nowadays because life did get better. And many of those people did grow up and become more friendly. But it does affect your emotional development and adults need to take it more seriously.

Now to a certain extent I agree that bullying is a part of growing up. Even as an adult. You're never going to be able to control everyone's behavior, some people will just be jerks to you. You have to learn to be resilient. But if a child is bullied to the point where their education and quality of daily life is being seriously affected we need to start paying attention and make changes.

 

[charlietheowl]

I had an issue with a bully in fourth and fifth grade, this kid who liked to make fun of me because I was rather unathletic and geeky. It was strange, because when he wasn't making fun of me or other people, he had flashes of real humor and intelligence and creativity. I suspect, but don't know for sure (I heard rumors), that he had problems at home and never got the support that he needed. He always made of fun of me and it was hard to get other kids on my side because he was so popular. Eventually, after a rather convoluted series of events involving an incident at recess with him, he threatened me and was suspended from school for awhile, and once he came back he never really bothered me again.

I never had too much trouble with bullying after that, and in volunteering at a middle school the past four years I tried my best to make sure that the kids got along with each other and didn't get away with bullying. It's a very important issue that I'm glad is finally getting a lot of attention.

 

[Misskermie]

I get bullied everyday. The teachers at my school don't seem to give a crap about students in trouble. I mean, I got my hair pulled everyday by this chick who is such a futher mucker, that used to be my best friend. So as far as bullying goes, I'm sick of it, and that law didn't make that much of a difference.

But aside from the usual poundings by "friends", there is one day I'll never forget. It was the time I was beat by younger and older kids.


I was in the extra school program in 3rd grade, and everyday, we'd go outside. Now, at the time, the way I was raised, was if someone should dare to get an attitude with me, get an attitude back. Don't take crap from anyone. So, this girl, says
"What you lookin' at?" even though I wasn't looking at her, and by her response from my, "EXcuse me?", she wasn't talking to me. But no one was behind me either. After that, all I can remember is that harsh beating I took from a second grader, and a fifteen year old who jumped the fence. I had a bloody nose, bruises, and the only black eye I've evr gotten in my life. And the worse part, is that my friend WATCHED. And to top of my harsh beating, this girl I hate named Cassidy, punched me in the head. The first time she did it, I laughed. Puny strike. But it was actually a fair hit. The second time, it hurt. But it was the same hit. As I was about to strike, I was caught, and I was blamed for it all. Elementary school was a living ****, but I'm alive, so it's all good.

Now, bullying in general. There are still a lot of schools, who allow this bullying. It's because of what the teacher think. Not because of what the law says. And because of this, people like me get bruised everyday. No matter how many times the parents call in. The schools hardly care anymore.

 

[D'Snowth]

I suspect, but don't know for sure (I heard rumors), that he had problems at home and never got the support that he needed.

That's what they always say about bullies: they don't get love and support at home, they're troubled, they make other kids feel bad to make themselves feel better, etc. I don't know how true it all is, but I guess it makes sense.

 

[CensoredAlso]

That's what they always say about bullies: they don't get love and support at home, they're troubled, they make other kids feel bad to make themselves feel better, etc. I don't know how true it all is, but I guess it makes sense.

For some bullies it's true, not all obviously. In general I do think some bullies are people who have been bullied themselves, either at home or school. Bullying doesn't encourage empathy. Some people get so bitter they want others to feel as badly as they do.

 

[charlietheowl]

That's what they always say about bullies: they don't get love and support at home, they're troubled, they make other kids feel bad to make themselves feel better, etc. I don't know how true it all is, but I guess it makes sense.

I remember hearing that his parents had split up and were having a rather nasty custody battle/child support fight. Granted, this was twelve years ago, so I don't know if it was entirely true in his case, but it did make sense. I think giving children support in their youth is really important to prevent bullying.

 

[Yuna Leonhart]

I've been bullied for years. In elementary shool, it was nothing much. Just the boys calling me slow-poke for being the slowest in physical education. It got worse in middle school. I found a friend on my very first day there but sometime in the first term, I got sick and had to stay home. She meanwhile had befriended another girl and I simply thought why not? Who says you onl need one friend? But she then spread rumros about me during the fifth and sixth grade. For example, there was a case with lices at school and she convinced everyone in our class that I had lices. They believed her until our classroom teacher put an end to this and said the one with lices is the one who was not at school that day. She also mocked me for not... um intimate with a boy yet (I think it was when I was thirteen years old when she started that). It was really bad with her.
It thankfully stopped in the ninth grade.

Then after I graduated the middle school, I went to a Wirtschaftsgymnasium (a type of school that specializes in economy). It was fine my first year there until towards the end. Some boys started to bully a classmate in the Internet whenever they were at the computers in school. They even signed some of the bullying messages with names, first and last) from their classmates, including mine. It continued over the summer holidays. The girl consulted our classroom teacher after the holidays and she suggested to press a charge against unknown. That she did, she knew who it was but had no evidence. Everyone whose name had been signed with were invited to a hearing. Luckily, she told me she doesn't believe I really wrote those things. But those boys who did that were among the ones I helped in English when they asked me. Over the yar, they continuted bullying her and me. One drew repulsive pictures of me on the blackboard and they often mocked the things I like/love and my preference of watching movies in English behind my back. Thankfully, only one of them remains now in schol and he hardly does anything.
Oh yes, the case has been abandoned.

And then there are some pupils from the special school. They've been terrorizing me for five years, calling me names and such. That's not so bad but one stole my cellphone once and another one broke my glasses. There was also once an incident where they spit and snot at me and gave me an applejuice shower. There were times whe they did nothing but it has recently started again. Now some just take my things away but I always manage to get them back in time. I was lucky it was never m cellphone, moneybag and music player since I store them in my beltbag and it is usually hidden under my jackets.


I usually ignore all that bullying directed at me but there are times when I brwak down crying at home.

 

[Fragglemuppet]

It's even worse when it's not just your peers, but the teachers who take part of the bullying. Kids you can easily forgive and make allowances for, being young and such, but adults should know better, as well as being the people you should be able to turn to for that kind of thing. The thing I remember most about my first grade teacher is her egging on the other students, and sometimes joining in the teasing herself. I was one of those kids who was chubby, a bit slow, and the quiet type, which although I don't like to generalize, I don't think was appreciated in an inner city school. We also had a TA who followed us from kindergarten to 2nd or 3rd grade, and I got the feeling she didn't like me much. For some reason I had a problem where once a year, I would get sick in class. Thing was, I would throw up once, go to the nurse's office, and not have another incident all day. I remember the last time it happened she made a comment about how I couldn't go on doing that all the time, as if I was somehow doing it on purpose.
In 7th grade I was mainstreamed into a public school, and stayed in that district through 12th. During all of that time I had a group of people I got to calling my entourage. These were a one-on-one aid to walk around with me, help me in class, Etc., (luckily as I got older, she spent less time with me and more time doing other stuff), my teacher of the visually impaired, TVI, who came a few times a week to help me with lessons, make sure my work was accessible, and an occupational therapist/technology teacher. They made my day-to-day life there a misery. Granted, I wasn't perfect. I was often unmotivated, and still a bit slow and awkward sometimes, but these women seemed to find delight in getting on my case for every little thing. Some of it was justified, every student at that age needs a bit of a push, sometimes a hard one, but there's just a certain point when a line is crossed, you know? There were people who did enjoy being mean I felt, and taking advantage of my passive nature.