The Muppets At Sea - (Unfinished)

We Got Us

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Hey guys, I know three days after joining is really soon to start posting fan-fics, but this is just a silly story I started writing for my many little sisters and cousins back in 2008, when I was 13. It has it's OK moments and it's not-so-great moments, and eventually I wrote myself into a nice ol' corner. The idea was an excuse to write a book about Muppets on a cruise ship/island since that was the only setting I hadn't seen them on (before I watched Treasure Island) but young cousins who were never satisfied with just Muppets begged for 'cameos' by their favorite characters, leading to random appearances of everyone from Jack Sparrow to Darth Vader for me to try and write in. Like I said, eventually the Scooby-dooish plot ran itself dry, but now they have rediscovered it and want more so what I'm asking for is a little honest judgment...what does it need, does it work (for kids mostly) and how in the world do I get out of any more ridiculous cameos? I would appreciate feedback greatly. Thanks!
 

We Got Us

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This would be chapter one. Yep. I included Nigel in the gang because as a kid I used to feel sorry for him, having been fired from the job of Muppet show host. Aside from the that, there's not to much to explain in this first bit. Enjoy.

Some people say that thinking about cold things when your hot makes you colder, and of course, some people say that it does the opposite. But whatever the case was, thinking about ice cold lemonade and swimming pools certainly wasn't doing any good for the large group that was crowded around the bus stop on a hot June morning. They had babbled excitedly all the way down to the station, and then afterward, until the conversation had ended with some strange statement from Janice about Santa Clause being a communist. And then all of a sudden they had realized at once (and at the same time) that they were all miserable. Yes, miserable. And the worst part of it was, at this point there was no use complaining- it wouldn't do any good. Everybody knew everybody was miserable and everybody knew that everybody else knew that they were miserable, so complaining brought nothing more than annoyed, backwards glances. ( Authors Note- I KNOW that's over-usage of the word miserable! got a problem with that?! Miserable, miserable, miserable, so there! )
Scooter the go-fer was the first person to break the rather oppressive cloud by attempting to look towards the bright ( well, maybe that's not the right word for the present situation ) future. "Sure was lucky of us to win those cruise tickets...right guys?" Attempt failed. This outbreak was met by an even more oppressive silence, till Kermit (the amphibious boss of the crew, finally came to the rescue. "I'm not sure luck is the right word- after all, we made up the only contestants and we would all have chosen the same prize." "Huh, not me!" Spoke up Gonzo ( who never refused the chance to argue, regardless of the temperature ) "I'da used those tickets for something fun, like paragliding off Mt. Kilimanjaro!" "Oh Gonzo, you'll have fun in the island." Answered Fozzie bear, which was brave of him- probably being the hottest with all that fur. Gonzo sighed, "I know, I just can't believe I didn't win! 'Whose Your Chicken' is my favorite game show!" "Well vous didn't win, moi did!" Said Miss Piggy smartly. Again, she never shied from an argument. "Where in the WORLD is that bus?!" She added, just for good measure. "I dunno, it should of been here by now." Said Kermit, (this of course, was useless knowledge, but it was simply to get Miss Piggy off his back ) "Scooter?" "I'll check the bus schedule." He hopped off his duffel-bag perch and headed towards the ( air conditioned ) depot. "Um...Kermit, I'm melting." Said Beauregard matter-of-factly. Nobody bothered to reply. In a moment Scooter was back, "They should be here any minute." As if on cue, the bus arrived conveniently within the next sixty seconds, and the group; luggage, band and all, crowded in. In a moment the initial enthusiasm of vacation was on them again and they began to talk excitedly, going over the same things they had been talking about for weeks. "So this cruise ship- it has a lounge deck right?" "Of course, *every* cruise ship has a lounge deck!" "Hey Kermit, you think they'll let me tie a rope to the back and water ski there?" "Uh, no Gonzo I think not." "Kermit, you didn't want the luggage in the bus, did you?" "BEAUREGARD...!!"
 

bouncingbabyfig

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Hmmmm. Well let's see, I'm a beginner writer myself. I'd read it, for one thing, make sure your not rambling, it's easy to follow, the plot is clean and not muddled. Add humor, lvey dovey moments, action, crazy moments, sad moments. ake it muppety. I watch muppet movies when I'm stuck. Try Muppet treasure Island, watch it and interviews with the muppets on that movie. That might help. GOOD LUCK!!:smile::excited: Kay I just saw you wrote the chapter. Erm, I actually like! You don't need my help it seems. Very nice, I liked beauregard's moment. Tehe: Miserable!:smile:
 

We Got Us

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Appreciate the help. Read: check. About a billion times and I always change something. Rambling: I know that's a problem. lol. Working on it. Muddled plot: Yeah, well I'm working on that too. I had ideas but a hard time getting them into some kind of orderly sequence. Explain ivey dovey? I love the way that sounds! Crazy moments it has. Sad moments I may or may not be capable of, but I can try. Muppety is what I pray for. Thanks a bunch bouncingbabyfig!!
 

bouncingbabyfig

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Sorry!!! I meant to put lovey dovey. As in moments between kermit and piggy.. *Palm slaps face* darn computer keyboard!:rolleyes:
 

We Got Us

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Sorry!!! I meant to put lovey dovey. As in moments between kermit and piggy.. *Palm slaps face* darn computer keyboard!:rolleyes:
LOL! I still like Ivey-divey better. I have one in the making that's about as bland as a beige wall. I'll try and spice it up a bit. As my sister said "Your too much Scooter to write love stories!" :stick_out_tongue:
 

bouncingbabyfig

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Hehe! You may not write great love stories, but I bet you make great coffee. Can your sister do that?:smile:
 

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I was going to post all of chapter two until I realized that I made all the chapters from then on really long. So here is chapter two part one, and yes, it was my sisters who suggested Doc and Sprocket for the boat. There's also a mean first made I intended to be the obvious baddie and forgot about (gotta love an ADHD 13-year-old) so here goes!

The cruise ship was everything thing that Kermit had expected; a leaky, dirty old tub of a boat that looked as if it had been sunken and patched up at least a hundred times. Regardless of this, most of them tried to look on the bright side.
"Well at least we know they have some class." Observed Rowlf, "How so?" asked an obviously doubtful Nigel. "Well they almost didn't let us on!" Soon everyone was pulling their luggage, Floyd and Janice were dragging their guitar cases, Zoot had his saxophone stuffed in his backpack, and his backpack tied to him ( so that he wouldn't forget it , which would be just like him ), Dr. Teeth carrying an entire electric keyboard, and Animal, aside from the luggage anybody was to lazy to carry themselves, was pulling his entire drum set. A tall, skinny man in a white sailor suit with downcast eyes watched them skeptically as they hauled themselves and their things in to the boat. This was not unusual for their group, thought Kermit, but it was certainly uncomfortable. He waited for them all to get on deck, before asking who the leader was. In this situation, the leader was Kermit. Had it been an award ceremony, or a fan, there would have been quite a few volunteers. But whether or not everybody thought so, Kermit WAS the leader, he thought himself the leader, and that set everybody else to thinking it too. "I guess you could call me the leader." Stated Kermit. "I take it you have tickets?" "Of course, here they are." Kermit handed him the tickets, the man looked at them haughtily, before stuffing them in his pocket without counting them. "You won these? You didn't buy them?" Kermit decided he didn't like this fellow, "Is it important? We gave you the tickets." "Never -the- less, on this ship we try to maintain a sense of class." Said the man, with obvious distaste. Kermit's offense at this statement was somewhat softened by the coughs and snickers that came from the group behind him. He took a sarcastic glance around, before looking back at the man. "Really?" They were promptly taken to be introduced to the captain. They quickly realized that they were the only people aboard the boat. Once again, not surprising, though it was a bit strange. They were lead across the main deck, to other side of the boat. It was better looking on deck than it was in water, Kermit noted, he only hoped the same was true for below deck. The man lead them to a large outer control station on the forward prow of the deck, in which was a kindly looking elderly man in a panama hat and a Hawaiian T-shirt, and seated next to him was a rather fat man in an ill-fitting sailor's outfit. The captain jumped up to introduce himself, "Oh, hello! You must be our passengers!" "Yes, I'm Kermit and this is Miss Piggy..." Miss Piggy offered her hand for him to kiss, which he did rather awkwardly, "And Fozzie Bear, our comedian, Gonzo, our um...what do you do Gonzo?" Gonzo looked thoroughly offended. "I am an ARTISTE'!!" "Uh-huh. Anyway, this is Dr. Teeth, he leads the band, and Rowlf the dog - our piano player, Scooter, our go-fer, Nigel, the conductor for our orchestra and Beauregard...our janitor, and the band; Floyd, Janice, Zoot, Animal, and Lips." The captain was sweating by this time, although he still maintained his politeness. "I see, you must be some sort of traveling act?" He turned to the fat man in the chair, "And you said we wouldn't get many people on this cruise!" The first mate yawned before he replied "People? What people? It looks more like a zoo to me." The captain rolled his eyes and turned back to Kermit, "Don't mind him, that's just Scott Frawley, the first mate. I'm Doc Crystal, your captain...and I'm very glad your going to be staying with this time, you see...I'm not really a much of a sailor- I just bought the boat as sort of a hobby, but I *am* licensed to captain it...I took a course." The group was silent for a moment, then Kermit asked the question that was on all there minds ( except Beauregard, he was thinking about his mop ) "So, you can steer the boat right?" "Oh, of course! And I am a VERY safe driver." "In that case, it'll be fine." "Oh, wonderful! Well I'd better introduce you to the rest of the crew; this is the second mate, James Grand, *he* is a professional sailor." The shady eyed man nodded at them annoyedly. Doc continued, "And my dog, Sprocket should be around here somewhere...SPROCKET!!!" A large, gray, old-looking hound came running up, whining and grumbling the best way a dog can. "Oh, sprocket, now don't get touchy-I just wanted to introduce you to our passengers!" There were some exchanged glances within the crowd, till Rowlf silenced them "What's wrong with talking to dogs?"
 

We Got Us

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Hehe! You may not write great love stories, but I bet you make great coffee. Can your sister do that?:smile:
Psh...I am a genius at coffee. That's how I got the name in the first place. Them people don't know what hit em' when I make coffee. It may be my one and only sincere skill :wink: That and playing piano with my nose.
 

bouncingbabyfig

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Hehe! Go Rowlf! I love this story, post more soon kay? I promise to review all of 'em!:big_grin:
Playing piano with your nose? New one on me. :smile:
 
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