REJECTED SST Old School Disclaimers

[Drtooth]

Ever wonder what else didn't need to be stamped on the back of the box, or read by a cartoon character on the DVD? Here's a list of what they'd probably look like.

"Gordon was performed by 2 different actors in this set. Do not attempt to adjust your television, as there is nothing wrong with it."

"Please keep in mind, as this was made in the 70's, Elmo does not pop up every 20 seconds. Ear plugs are not necessary"

"Jazz #2 may cause the munchies. If rash forms, discontinue use"

"Do not watch 'Hey Cow, I see you now' Over an open flame or while opperating heavy machinery"

"Before you purchase this DVD set, be advised, this is Sesame Street Old School, and not the Will Ferrel comedy 'Old School.' May not be suitable for fans of loud, gangly, awkward baby men capering about in an embarrassing way."

"Warning: Contains terrifying 1970's PBS logo. Viewer discretion is advised."

"DVD does not contain Big Bird busting movies and actually kicking it old school."

"Please notice, Cookie Monster eats cookies...and trucks...and foam rubber letters... and pretty much anything that doesn't move and isn't nailed down. Talk to your kids about why that's an unhealthy lifestyle."

"Do not laugh at 1970's fashion. Remember, future generations will laugh at your clothes too."

"Do not take Sesame Street Old School orally. Why would you? You some kinda fool?"

"Warning: Unauthorized copy and distribution, even not for profit is prohibited. Not to be viewed publicly, in theaters, in schools, on oil rigs* or anywhere else besides your own home. For private use only. Don't even invite anyone in to watch it with you. Don't even let someone borrow it. Turn out your lights and pull down the shades and watch it ALONE! We're watching you... trust us!"

 

[Krazedmuppet]

NIIIICE love it
How bout-

"WARNING- allowing your childern to watch this may result in your kids growing up to be a screwed up as you. You've been warned..."

 

[Colbynfriends]

"Warning, watching the segment titled "Would You Like To Buy An 'O'" may make you want to sell or buy letters on the street. Don't do this as people may be selling something totally diffrent."
"Don't send us angry letters about how Prince Charming told Repunzle to "shut up", back in those days it wasnt a big deal."

 

[CensoredAlso]

To avoid bad dreams, refrain from watching Jazzy Spies #2 in the middle of the night...

(*Note: This is from personal experience. That whole "Two....TWO...twooooooo....oooooo" thing was quite frightening in the dark lol)

 

[mikebennidict]

Pretty commical.

Just subscribed to this.

 

[The Shoe Fairy]

Warning: Do not mix with other medication, or whilst under the influence of drugs or alchol. Neglecting to do so may result in hallucination, drowsiness, headache, nausea or hours and hours of trippy fun.

 

[theprawncracker]

Disclaimer: Despite how it looks, Grover is NOT a slave to Mr. Johnson. Though he does indeed appear and serve said Mr. Johnson at every venue he may or may not grace with his presence, he is NOT under a binding slavery-based contract signed off by Mr. Johnson. The poor mustachioed dude just has awful luck.

 

[StreetScenes]

This DVD contains graphic displays of baked goods meeting violent and untimely demise. These are only rice cake simulations--no actual cookies were harmed in the making of this show.

 

[StreetScenes]

Decades of research and experience have proven that this show will NOT induce your preschool child to bang his head on a piano, play in construction sites, or develop insatiable cravings for cookies. You, of all people, should know that your child is smarter than that. However, unlike most things from your childhood, which are best left to nostalgic recollection because they cannot possibly live up to your fond memories of them, Old School Sesame Street is actually even better than you remember it. Therefore it may induce YOU to bang your head on a piano, play in construction sites, and develop insatiable cravings for cookies. Viewer discretion is advised.

 

[Krazedmuppet]

This DVD contains graphic displays of baked goods meeting violent and untimely demise. These are only rice cake simulations--no actual cookies were harmed in the making of this show.

Nice.