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A Day for Sweetums
Sweetums was a monster. A hulking mass of brown hair in tattered clothes. He awoke one morning to the sound of a rooster crowing just outside his window. He sat up, scratching his head and letting out a ferocious yawn. He stood, and made his way to the window.
"Hello, little rooster," Sweetums said as he waved to the creature that woke him. He had a feeling that this rooster had introduced him to a wonderful day.
Sweetums got around rather quickly that morning, as it was an important day for him. He slept in his clothes so he wouldn't have to bother with them. As a monster, clean teeth aren't necessarily a priority, so he dispensed with the brushing of them. He was never able to afford anything large enough to comb out his matted hair, and his shower broke a month before, so overall cleanliness was also toward the bottom of his list of necessities. Sweetums got around very quickly that morning, as all he had to do was get up and walk out his front door.
Sweetums, headed for work, strolling along down the crowded streets of his hometown. The townsfolk had grown accustomed to Sweetums, and they all knew that he posed no threat to any of them. He may have been a monster, but he was, for the most part, a gentle one.
On this day, however, there happened to be a group of tourists visiting the area. Having never seen a creature such as Sweetums outside of the theater, they reacted in a way that they only assumed was natural: They ran, screamed, and hid. A few enthusiastic, but ultimately moronic, individuals decided that this was their chance to be heroes. With nothing else available to them, they poked at Sweetums with sticks. Now, anyone who has every had dealings with monsters would know that this is not an intelligent thing to do. Needless to say, Sweetums did something he would have rather avoided, and politely asked the tourists to stop.
Finally, Sweetums arrived at "Mad Man Mooney's Hubcap Heaven," the monster's place of employment. He worked there as a live jack, lifting cars for the garage mechanics to work on. His job also extended to moving vehicles around the lot. A monotonous job, but that was all about to change for Sweetums. Today was the day that Sweetums met Kermit the Frog.
Kermit the Frog wasn't much at that time, he was just a frog. But he was soon to become the most successful frog in all of show business.
Through a series of odd events, Sweetums had managed to convince Mad Man Mooney to break his usual rule of over-charging for vehicles, and helped Kermit purchase a car for the low, low price of negative five cents.
One thing worth mentioning about Sweetums is that he had always dreamed of one day going to Hollywood and becoming a celebrity, making millions of people happy. It just so happened that this was also Kermit the Frog's dream. To show how much he appreciated the wonderful deal that Sweetums helped him get on the car, Kermit invited Sweetums to go to Hollywood with him.
Sweetums was ecstatic! What a nice frog, Sweetums thought. Perhaps he was a bit too excited, though, because poor Sweetums ran off to get ready without ever giving Kermit an answer.
Sweetums packed up all the things that he had at work as quickly as possible. He handed in his resignation, stopped for a moment to say good-bye to the mechanics, and raced to join Kermit... but he was too late. Kermit and his friends had already left for Hollywood, not knowing that Sweetums had intended to join them. He tried to chase after them, but it was no use. Poor Sweetums had been left behind.
Sweetums returned home, jobless and hopeless. Perhaps one day he would catch up with Kermit and become rich and famous in Hollywood, but he wasn't counting on it.
Sweetums awoke one morning to the sound of a rooster crowing just outside his window. He stood, walked to the window, and ate the rooster.
The End
