The corny joke thread

[Winslow Leach]

Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, "It smells fishy around here."


And:

Two fish were in a tank. One said to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

I especially liked the "perch" one!

 

[Beauregard]

I especially liked the "perch" one!

I totally didn't sea that one coming!

 

[Winslow Leach]

Beethoven dies and is buried. A couple of months later, a man walking through the cemetery hears strange noises coming from Beethoven's grave. The man runs to get the town magistrate, and brings him to the grave where the noises are continuing. The magistrate puts his ear to the grave and listens for a few moments.

"Ah yes, that's Beethoven's 9th Symphony, being played backward" says the magistrate. He listens a while longer. "Now it's the 8th Symphony being played backward...there's the 7th...the 6th...the 5th..."

The magistrate stands and turns to the man. "You fool," he exclaims, "you called me away from supper for this? There's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing!"

 

[Winslow Leach]

I totally didn't sea that one coming!

Doh-ho-ho!

 

[Beauregard]

I guess this is the right plaice for that style of joke?

 

[peyjenk]

What is the porpoise of jokes like that?

 

[Beauregard]

Well, I just posted for the hake of it.

 

[peyjenk]

I think it is time to leave whale enough alone.

 

[Winslow Leach]

On the way home from a Halloween party, two girls take a shortcut through the cemetery. They stop when they hear a mysterious "tap-tap-tap" in the shadows. When the mist in front of them clears, they see an old man furiously chipping one of the headstones with a hammer and chisel.

"Geez, mister!" exclaims one of the girls, "you scared us! We thought you were a ghost! Why are you working here so late at night?"

The old man, still chipping at the stone replies, "those darn whippersnappers misspelled my name!"

 

[Beauregard]

You think we should wave goodbye to this topic? I simply will not sand for that!