Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[Winslow Leach]

The Newsman strolls in, confidently.

Newsie: Tonight's broadcast was perfect! It went off without a hitch, fellows! What's say I take you guys out for Italian?

Crazy Harry presses down the plunger on his explosive.

KA-BOOM!

The room shakes. When the smoke clears, all that's left of the Newsman are his shoes.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

(gang is having a sing-along around the campfire - or to be more precise, the pot of chocolate fondue set up in the common room)

All: (slowly waving forks with pound cake cubes on them)

You are my sunshine...my only sunshine...when you're not happy, my skies are gray...you'll never know, dear, how much I love you...please don't take my sunshine away...

(phone rings)

Erin: I'll get it. (rests fork on pot, goes to answer phone) Hello...oh, hi, Claudia...uh-huh...okay, swell, I'll tell her. (cups hand over receiver) Hey, Nora!
Nora: What is it?
Erin: Claudia wants to know if she can borrow you for a fanfic.
Nora: Need to check my schedule, but I should be available. Tell her yes.
Erin: Sure. (to phone) You can borrow her, Claudia, but just bring her back in one piece, okay? Right, bye. (hangs up)
Beige: (munching on chocolate-dipped piece of cake) What do you want to sing next?
Scooter: (dipping cake into fondue) Oh, I don't know...what about one of those old tunes we learned for the Long, Long Ago Medley? "Oh Genevieve" or something.
Storyteller: (adjusting heat on pot and spearing another piece of cake) There's an old ballad my grandmother used to sing at the festival of the moon.
Beige: Why is it "used to sing?" Did the hail of tomatoes get to be too much for her? (suddenly cringes as Storyteller throws him the Look)
Nora: Oh, Beige, that's rough.
Erin: (returning to circle) Claudia will get to you with the details. (spears a piece of cake) So what are we singing now?
Scooter: Don't know...hey, did you know that the Righteous Brothers wrote a song about the plague?
Storyteller: No, what's it called?
Scooter: "Unchained Malady!"

(chorus of cackles and boos as dipping of cake and singing of old sentimental tunes resumes)

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Thank you very much!
Won't regret it!
(Eagerly hangs up, ignoring her back ache)
K, guys, I'mma crack my back.
Cover your ears!

Bunsen:
(Does so)

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Cringes)

Beaker:
(Twitches)

Claudia:
Crrrraaaccckkkkk!
These practices are so useful.
(Cheers quietly to herself)
Almost done with the fiiirrsstt chapter.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Too inspired. Must write stories!

Bunsen:
You forget we have an event tonight that you simply must attend!

Claudia:
I promise I'll finish the chapter...
I promise you!
(Dramatically clings to her computer as she is tugged away by her roomies)
We'll always be together!
No matter how terrible I am at writing!
NOOOO!

The three:
(A moment of sympathy for Claudia)

Claudia:
(Sobs wildly)

Bunsen:
Chin up, dear!
No time for sadness in a day where happiness will show its face!
Trust me, this will be just fantastic.
Much fun will come our way, I'm sure.

Claudia:
(Sobs)
Bu...but....my storyyyy...

Bunsen:
(Pushes her lightly)

Claudia:
Fine...fine...I'll shower and get dressed.

Beaker:
Meee mee mee mee mee.

Dr. Van Neuter:
Yeah, I should probably check on Composta.

Beaker:
Meeep.

Dr. Van Neuter:
Yeah, totally.

 

[The Count]

Yeah... Should probably hit the showers and get dressed too... Just waiting to get the call from Steve to record the audio version of the awards.
*Light giggling comes from behind the doors of Room #0.

 

[Beakerfan]

Alex: Sweetums! Bean! Hurry up! You guys gotta get ready for tonight!

Sweetums: *wakes up* Oh! Right! Bean! C'mon! We gotta get ready!

Bean: Mphf! MMMphfff! Mmmhhfphm!

Sweetums: *stands up* Oh my gosh! Little buddy! I'm so sorry!

Bean: *crawls out from under Sweetums* It's ok....

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
(Brushing wet hair)
Gosh do I need a haircut.
It's up to my back.

Too much curly hair= too much volume!
(Checks her cabinet for some mousse)
I can't believe it!
I...I RAN OUT!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Puts on a bathrobe and shamelessly runs out of her room over to Alex's door)

ALEX! OPEN UP! EEEE!

---

Beaker:
(Covering eyes)
MEEE!

Bunsen:
My goodness!
(Bumps into a wall and falls over)

Dr. Van Neuter:
MY EYES!
OH GOD!
MY EYES!

---

Claudia:
Hey, I work out!
So SHUSH!

Anyway...

ALEX! EMERGENCY MAJOR!

D: NOOO MOUSSE!

 

[Winslow Leach]

Tony is stretched out on his bed, reading. Crazy Harry is wrapped in a straight-jacket, tied to his cot. The Newsman, now back to normal, is asleep in his bed. Lefty is standing, dramatically speaking.

Lefty:

I went and gave da golden AN
Ta my special goil friend named Fran.
She said "I taught yer name was Stan,"
An' I said "no, you're wrong, Dan, I mean Fran.

Gimme back my golden AN,
On account of yer dumb mistake, Fran,"
But Fran said "take a walk, man,
Dis is is my golden AN!"
An' she hit me in da face with a fryin' pan!

Da end!

So whaddaya tink, kid? Kid? Hey, kid!

Tony (who hasn't been paying attention) Uh-huh...

Lefty: Da ya tink my poem was good?

Tony: Right.

Lefty: So, now kin I be in dat play yer writin'? Huh? Kin I?

Tony: What?

Lefty: Da play!

Tony: What are you talking about?

Lefty: Da play, da play!

Tony (looks around) Is this Fantasy Island? "The plane, the plane!"

Lefty: Wise guy, eh? So, can I be in da play?

Tony: No, Lucy, you can't be in the show!

Lefty does a quadruple-take.

Lefty: Ya mean I did all dat poitry stuff fer nothin'?

Tony: What poetry stuff?

Lefty: Ya didn't hear?

Tony: Actually, I've been reading this nifty book on--

Lefty: Den lend me yer ear!

Lefty assumes the dramatic position again, and starts to recite.

Lefty:

I went and gave da golden AN--

 

[The Count]

*A small figure pops out, almost elvan in appearance except for the tube of hair mousse primly propped up against his cap of chocolate locks.
Moosey the Hair Mousse Sprite: Nooo mousse!
*An odd two-toned whistle eminates in the hallway where Moosey was standing just a second ago, before vanishing once again.

*OOC: That's one for ya Leach, I'm sure you'll get the joke.

 

[Fragglemuppet]

So are you excited about tonight, guys?
Gobo: I sure am
Wembly: Yep, I sure am!
So, Gobo, you're going with Red. Are you going with anyone, Wembly?
Wembly: Yep, I'm going with Lou! Gee, I sure did miss her.
Yeah, I'm sorry she couldn't dorm with us this semester.
Wembly: That's okay, just as long as I can see her every once in a while.
Oh, of course! And maybe I'll even get to say hello to her myself. To be honest, I do miss her, too.
Gobo: Are you still going with Beaker?
Yep, that's the plan. Maybe we'll all meet up there, or maybe after. We'll see what happens.
Wembly: Yep, I guess we will.