The "I'm amazed at how terrible this is" thread

[Drtooth]

The cassette slip sloppy pre-photoshop "artwork" suggests that one of my favorite animes is also massacred in this collection. While I don't know if it's the same cover album as the other YTpage has, I did find a cover of the opening to Dr. Slump once. It's actually decent, and therefore not worthy of being posted here. They mess up the electric drums at the beginning, but at least the main singer is only slightly under the high energy performance of the original Arale.

There's also a cover of "Sexy Adventure" (the theme to the third Lupin II cartoon series) which is actually alright too. Different instrumentation, the singer's a little flat, but nothing dreadful.

Though there is one more song I'd like to induct...

You've probably seen this:

Now this is pretty much so bad it's good to begin with.

So there are not just one, but TWO covers of this. And the differences are just too hilarious not to point out. Otherwise I would've moved on to something else.

I'm going with reverse order on this one.

First up is an admittedly decent enough cover of the actual song, except the guy shouting Spider-Man...errrr... Spidermon couldn't be more disinterested. Even the "Change Leopardon" (er... Changie Leopardon) bit seems phoned in.

Now, here's one that, by all means is worse all around, except the guy shouting "SPIYDAH MAHN" is waaaay too excited. His performance is so exuberant that he goes completely off rhythm half the time. He pretty much doesn't sing the song so much as shout it (at least you can't say he phoned it in). Oddly enough he lets the loud opening scream off.

 

[D'Snowth]

Anyway, it's sad that Al Lewis was stuck with those awful tapes, but he's a real trooper through them. Doesn't look like he's painfully trying to power through the whole thing, he's enjoying his every moment of hamming it up. I actually found the bookends of one of the horror videos.

It's not devoid of humor (I admittedly laughed at a couple clear improvs at the video listing and the line about Tom Selleck), and this really seems like it could have been a potential horror movie host like series. Too bad it was on something so cheapo. This could have been a fun late night horror host show. Not quite Svengoulie, though.

Keep one thing in mind, Al Lewis loved playing Grandpa Munster, so any chance he got to reprise that role, he eagerly accepted; in fact, when Depatie-Freleng (I think it was DFE, it could have been Filmation) did that animated Munsters series in the 70s, he was the only one who returned to voice his respective character. I heartell he really wanted to play Grandpa in that reboot/sequel series from the 80s too.

 

[Drtooth]

Indeed. As cheap and pathetic as those videos are on every level of production, you cannot say that Al was just miserably muddling through for a paycheck. The fact he happily hams his way through something so awful when he didn't need to actually makes these things more enjoyable than they should be.

Ugh. I was going to give you an example of real awful, but it seems to have been taken down from Youtube.

What I was going to show you was... well, you know how I'm constantly going on about how craptastic Maxie's World is? Well, I was going to say, how can it possibly be worse, and then I was going to show a clip of this Finnish dub, and like most of the females in a show almost exclusively made up of female characters for girls to watch were dubbed by guys making no attempt to sound like women... But the clip is long gone, and I can't show it to you. Which sucks because it was a case of making something already awful almost nightmarish. Ugh...what else. What else can I? AH.. How'bout some Polish dubs?

Here's the (ahem) "Polish dub" of the theme to one of my favorites, Dr. Slump

Some dub. It's the French Theme song with someone narrating the English language title in English with a Polish accent and nothing else.

Here's Alfred J Kwak:

Typical droning voice over what sounds like the English dub of the series.

Okay... here's something else awful. Check out the "acting" in this probably barely licensed video game.

Wow. They totally just didn't grab a bunch of interns from the localization team. And really, that little fairy has a really husky voice for someone that small. And I thought Turtles in Time had some bad acting (at least with April who couldn't sound less interested).

 

[mr3urious]

That acting in the last vid makes the English dubbing in the PS1 Mega Man games look Academy Award-worthy. At least there, they emoted.

 

[Drtooth]

To think that Konami actually got the entire cast of Bucky O'Hare to reprise their roles for an arcade game and the four main Simpsons cast members for their arcade game as well. Seems like a LOT of video game voice acting at that time was just pulling interns into the office.

Here's a stark example of a not in someone's basement, professional release.

Not horrible bad, but you can tell it's just 2 office workers making barely different sounding funny voices for each character.

And here's the Turtles in Time ending I was talking about (skip to about 8 minutes in)

That woman couldn't possibly have been less into the role. Notice how she calls Shredder a (ahem) "Arc villain."

 

[Drtooth]

So... apparently this counts as the worst TV commercial of all time.

It's a piece of crap sure, but frankly like every other low cost crappy advertisement marketed to seniors during MeTV. But one thing makes it extra nasty. The incomprehensible actress testimony with the sound quality of a highly compressed 1998 internet video...that was then shot on a low quality cel phone camera 6 years later and uploaded in 144 pp on Youtube.

That said, don't bother looking at the other "top worst commercials" compilations on the side of that video. One of them features a Toby Jones gag commercial. Shows how much research they put into that.

 

[mr3urious]

It's a piece of crap sure, but frankly like every other low cost crappy advertisement marketed to seniors during MeTV. But one thing makes it extra nasty. The incomprehensible actress testimony with the sound quality of a highly compressed 1998 internet video...that was then shot on a low quality cel phone camera 6 years later and uploaded in 144 pp on Youtube.

I don't fully agree with TV Tropes on it being one of the worst, but that horrid audio quality makes it come close.

 

[Drtooth]

Senior health commercials are all awful. But they're supposed to be mechanical and blandly informative. That's why we get stinkers like "Clip Art Grandma needs a kneebrace" and it's sequel ""'Urban' Clip Art Grandma needs a kneebrace." Big companies don't wish to spend advertising dollars on off network Mid-Day programming, and the only ones watching are the unemployed (and unemployable) and the elderly. So we get cheap informative ads for the elderly and intelligence insulting gimmicks for the younger unemployed.

I cannot stress enough, these ads are all various flavors of terrible. This walk in tub thing wouldn't be as special if it wasn't for the bad testimonial. Why wouldn't you want it to sound as clear as possible? Sounds like the woman uses the tub to bathe and laugh and is worried. And they all have the same poor stock music to boot.

 

[mr3urious]

I cannot stress enough, these ads are all various flavors of terrible. This walk in tub thing wouldn't be as special if it wasn't for the bad testimonial. Why wouldn't you want it to sound as clear as possible? Sounds like the woman uses the tub to bathe and laugh and is worried. And they all have the same poor stock music to boot.

Especially considering the target audience is known for being hard of hearing. You'd think the producers would keep that in mind or at least subtitle the testimonial, but apparently not.

 

[Mo Frackle]

Saw bits and pieces of that "Birdemic" flick. Wow. Just wow.

Even the weakest student films feel more professional.