The Worst CGI Kid Films In Recent Memory

[Drtooth]

The only trailer I really saw was the new Christmas one, and I'm not impressed. The plot actually sounds decent, and there's a talented cast behind it. Hopefully it'll look better in film form and hey...at least this isn't an Air Buddies deal where they're live action dogs and cats with mouths CGI's on them. Just not being one of those is praise enough.

Cuz I hate those movies. I hate them so much.

 

[cuppajoe95]

No kidding. Come to think it, putting CGI talk onto anything live-action looks creepy (e.g. Baby Geniuses).

Sure, the live-action talking animal thing didn't look bad when Babe did it, it helps that it was a very heartwarming movie to begin with, but nowadays it seems to amount to "Hey look, dumb children, these animals are TALKING!".

In addition to Air Buddies... anyone remember Racing Stripes? Even as a kid, I thought it sucked. Where Babe had charm, Racing Stripes instead was loaded with infantile toilet humor and whatnot because, hey, little kids are so stupid, right? *Boop* Sarcasm test complete.

 

[Drtooth]

Actually, little kids are prone to want more idiotic, infantile humor because they're little kids. That's why they kept making the same movies over and over. The only thing that comes close to a live action talking animals movie I liked was George of the Jungle. It had some puerile stuff in it, but it was 1997 and that stuff wasn't forced down everyone's faces yet. Plus, overall, at least it had the spirit of a Jay Ward cartoon. Never really liked Babe either. And I think Homeward Bound did it best by doing it cheap. Internalizing dialogue like an old Garfield cartoon.

Other than that, the animation of "Secret Life of Pets" at least puts it well above other films mentioned here. It's at least a meh, though the plot sounds like it could be fun, banding together abandoned pets. Might be interesting.

I'm just waiting for some major internet reviewer to get their mitts on that leaked "Believe in Santa" cartoon. That really should reach memetic levels of bad by now, especially with Christmas coming up. And I'm very disappointed that the Flight of Champions (or whatever it was) never materialized outside of a couple internet mumbles when it first came out.

 

[D'Snowth]

But what about animated movies almost always having to including two or more SNL castmembers doing voices anymore? Seems like Bill Hader, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, and Fred Armesin are the go-to SNLers to do voices in almost all animated movies anymore. Slightly off-topic, but I didn't understand bringing in Kristen Wiig or Fred Armesin to do voices on THE LOONEY TUNES SHOW: why can't the Looney Tunes in general have consistent voices since Mel Blanc's passing? I enjoyed Bob Bergen's Tweety in SPACE JAM, but Joe Alasky is like Tweety going puberty.

 

[mr3urious]

Slightly off-topic, but I didn't understand bringing in Kristen Wiig or Fred Armesin to do voices on THE LOONEY TUNES SHOW: why can't the Looney Tunes in general have consistent voices since Mel Blanc's passing? I enjoyed Bob Bergen's Tweety in SPACE JAM, but Joe Alasky is like Tweety going puberty.

Because Warner Bros. is scared of the VAs asking for massive pay raises ever since Mel Blanc negotiated for one way back then.

 

[D'Snowth]

So they'd rather turn to SNL castmembers - who are probably far more expensive than VAs and want even more money than most VAs who work usually like freelancers anyway?

 

[mr3urious]

Just saw some teasers from The Secret Life of Pets during the Purina Dog Show, and it looks all right. There is an actual plot to follow apart from the "what pets do while the owners are away" shtick, but they don't tell you that here. It involves a dog and his newly adopted mongrel housemate setting aside their differences to try and thwart a rabbit who leads a gang of abandoned pets getting revenge against loved pets and their owners.

The jokes don't look too lowbrow so far (no butt-sniffing or farting). And I admit, the metalhead poodle made me chuckle a bit.

So they'd rather turn to SNL castmembers - who are probably far more expensive than VAs and want even more money than most VAs who work usually like freelancers anyway?

Certain professional VAs are getting expensive nowadays, notably Frank Welker and Peter Cullen. Must be because of their age.

 

[D'Snowth]

See, this is why movie stars originally didn't do television: because they were "too big," "too important," and "too expensive" to even consider lowering themselves to TV . . . now, Halle Berry, Uma Thurman, Kevin Spacey, James Caan, and Maria Bello, among others, are all doing TV now because they realize they need work when they can get it - some of these people were once big A-listers (then again, so was Whoopi Goldberg at one point, and look what's become of her now).

So I just learned that NORM OF THE NORTH was intented to be just a straight-to-DVD movie, but apparently somebody felt it deserved to receive a worldwide theatrical release for whatever reason.

 

[Drtooth]

So CN aired "Free Birds" Wednesday and I actually caught it. It isn't quite terrible, but that's not to say it's good. It had a couple moments, and Mayor Bradford was actually kinda funny in it, but the whole thing felt completely unnecessary and a reason why they don't have Thanksgiving movies. There's a nice backstory to one of the turkeys, the bigger one about being held in a factory farming situation and trying to escape with eggs to raise a new life, but that's essentially the only decent thing in the movie. I dunno. It feels like this film was written by one of those pseudo-vegetarians that can rant on about how corrupt the farming system in this country is, but will still eat a large steak when no one's looking.

But overall, just a pointless effort with unfunny jokes about the female turkey going lazy eyed that didn't need to be there. Just... why was this made?

But what about animated movies almost always having to including two or more SNL castmembers doing voices anymore? Seems like Bill Hader, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, and Fred Armesin are the go-to SNLers to do voices in almost all animated movies anymore. Slightly off-topic, but I didn't understand bringing in Kristen Wiig or Fred Armesin to do voices on THE LOONEY TUNES SHOW: why can't the Looney Tunes in general have consistent voices since Mel Blanc's passing? I enjoyed Bob Bergen's Tweety in SPACE JAM, but Joe Alasky is like Tweety going puberty.

June Foray only got the part of Granny in Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries after cussing them out for not hiring her already.

I didn't mind the SNL voice actors at all. They did have to replace Kristen when the DTV movie was being made. Somehow I think they should have gotten back Kath Sorcie because, well... Helga Pataki's mother (also voiced by her) sounds very close to Kristen. Though I say that what they did to Lola actually made her a Looney Tunes character instead of a lame attempt to get girls to watch something that's always been a boy's club.

Anyway...

So I just learned that NORM OF THE NORTH was intented to be just a straight-to-DVD movie, but apparently somebody felt it deserved to receive a worldwide theatrical release for whatever reason.

It sure as heck looks like such. I'd blame Lionsgate for giving it a theatrical release. It's just all over a cheap and terrible looking film that looks even more pointless than Free Birds. I can't believe some people in the theater laughed at the trailer. The jokes are just cheap and cliche.

 

[Luke kun]

So CN aired "Free Birds" Wednesday and I actually caught it. It isn't quite terrible, but that's not to say it's good. It had a couple moments, and Mayor Bradford was actually kinda funny in it, but the whole thing felt completely unnecessary and a reason why they don't have Thanksgiving movies. There's a nice backstory to one of the turkeys, the bigger one about being held in a factory farming situation and trying to escape with eggs to raise a new life, but that's essentially the only decent thing in the movie. I dunno. It feels like this film was written by one of those pseudo-vegetarians that can rant on about how corrupt the farming system in this country is, but will still eat a large steak when no one's looking.

Uh...Chuck E. Cheese.