The Worst CGI Kid Films In Recent Memory

[Drtooth]

Oh yes. The "pizza saving the day" bit. Well, it's not quite as horrible as I thought it was. The smaller turkey uses the time machine to transport a pizza delivery guy. Still stupid, by the way. But only a few boxes had Chuck E. Cheese slapped together on the sides for no reason (other than forced product placement). I had a horrifying feeling it meant bringing Chuck E. back with them too. But thankfully it didn't.

 

[cuppajoe95]

I was at a Tim Hortons with a friend yesterday, and at one point, the flat-panel TV in front of where we sat showed a TV spot for Norm of the North. I confided to my friend that it would suck, and she agreed.

Anyone else keeping their fingers crossed that Kung Fu Panda 3 doesn't get overshadowed?

 

[Drtooth]

I'm just shaking my head at Dreamworks' decision to bury a huge movie franchise like KFP in January. KFP 2 had a prime spot, sure, and it got spanked by Hangover 2 for some reason, but late January? Even the initial spot against Star Wars was pretty stupid. Why not March? That seems like a usually decent month for Dreamworks. Certainly Home and The Croods did well in that month domestically. If it's released to coincide with Chinese New Year because this was made with that country in mind, I don't see why they don't do that thing where it appears internationally first (this is the one time I'd forgive it).

Norm of the North deserves a dump month release. KFP doesn't.

 

[D'Snowth]

Now that trailers for NORM OF THE NORTH are appearing on TV, you can actually see in the animation quality that this was originally a DVD movie; it definitely has a cheap, TV-budget animation quality look to it.

 

[Drtooth]

It's one thing that it's an ugly DTV Madagascar knockoff (at least visually), but it's an ugly DTV Madagascar visual knockoff that looks less advanced than the first Madagascar. Much less. Lionsgate just sucks at kid's movies. The only good one they released was Shaun the Sheep, and they were only the distributor. They're the ones that foisted that horrid wolf movie that furries love, and those two horrid Shrek wannabes "Happily Ne'er After."

 

[Drtooth]

So, Nicktoons has been airing the two progressively worse Open Season sequels. I accidentally caught some of them and...hoo boy.

I caught some bit where they were trying to make a "crap past the radar" joke for the adults, and it came off like a five year old trying to tell a dirty joke he misheard from his parents. You see, apparently one of the characters is named "Mr. Weenie" ("NO! Don' say th' Weenie WORD!") and they made some lame gag about it coming out wrong because it's a clumsy double entendre. Just terrible writing.

But what makes me laugh is how pathetic the third movie is. It's really telling how cheap your cheapquel is when even the cheaper sound-a-likes from the second movie are too expensive. And the animation was even worse.

And they still looked better than Norm of the North!

 

[D'Snowth]

You see, apparently one of the characters is named "Mr. Weenie" ("NO! Don' say th' Weenie WORD!") and they made some lame gag about it coming out wrong because it's a clumsy double entendre.

Well, Mr. Weenie is a David Feiss creation, and if you remember all the weenie jokes and references from COW AND CHICKEN, then there you go.

 

[mr3urious]

But what makes me laugh is how pathetic the third movie is. It's really telling how cheap your cheapquel is when even the cheaper sound-a-likes from the second movie are too expensive. And the animation was even worse.

And guess what? There's going to be a 4th movie out next year, and the main characters are getting re-cast again!

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-rele...amily-open-season-scared-silly-300169089.html

Hey Rainmaker, how 'bout coming out with that new ReBoot series you promised instead of enabling Sony to force a franchise no one likes down everyone's throats?

 

[cuppajoe95]

And guess what? There's going to be a 4th movie out next year, and the main characters are getting re-cast again!

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-rele...amily-open-season-scared-silly-300169089.html

Hey Rainmaker, how 'bout coming out with that new ReBoot series you promised instead of enabling Sony to force a franchise no one likes down everyone's throats?

Wonder how many people will buy that? Come to think of it, how many people will remember the other three existed before they buy that? It's been what, about 5 years now?

Speaking of cheapquels, the next three you-know-what sequels were revealed: The Big Fureeze, Dinosaur Digs and Journey to Bear Kingdom.

...permission to face-palm until I bruise myself?

 

[Drtooth]

Well, Mr. Weenie is a David Feiss creation, and if you remember all the weenie jokes and references from COW AND CHICKEN, then there you go.

They were at least clever weenie jokes. I really wish I could remember the exact line, but it seems like it's a five year old trying to retell a homoerotic joke he heard his parents laugh at, without understanding what it means. I love me some completely inappro-pro comedy in kid's stuff, but only when it's done competently.

And guess what? There's going to be a 4th movie out next year, and the main characters are getting re-cast again!

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-rele...amily-open-season-scared-silly-300169089.html

Hey Rainmaker, how 'bout coming out with that new ReBoot series you promised instead of enabling Sony to force a franchise no one likes down everyone's throats?

I'll give it one thing. David Feiss is back behind it. But yeah. They're going with Canadian voice actors who are far, far cheaper. Though I think that's due in part of the studio behind it. I mean, you got at least 2 VA's from Beast Wars/Machines and Reboot. And Gary Chalk was roped into worse (I swear he's the Santa from the unnecessary A Christmas Story 2). Still, Open Season is Sony's worst franchise easily. While I can't say I loved Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (but I don't actually hate it), I actually caught the second movie on FXX this weekend and was amazed that this time it was actually very good! The food puns were excessive, but the trailers really didn't do justice to the film. And Hotel Transylvania wasn't just a fun film, it proved that there is a shred of talent left in Adam Sandler and crew, with an even better sequel with a stronger plot. I'm looking forward to the cartoon series.

But Open Season... just... ick.