A Monday's Production - Murder Over My Muppets

[Misskermie]

Actually, it was Kermit. Sawry.

O____O
LOL WUT?

 

[WebMistressGina]

O____O
LOL WUT?

Kidding.

It was really Piggy.

Sawry 'gain.

 

[fufumuppet]

Why did it have to be Rowlf?! Why!?

 

[Misskermie]

Kidding.

It was really Piggy.

Sawry 'gain.

GINA!
You're playing mind games with me again, aren't you?

 

[WebMistressGina]

Why did it have to be Rowlf?! Why!?

Ironically, he was the first person I saw killed. Sadly, Rowlf knew a little bit too much, as they say.

GINA!
You're playing mind games with me again, aren't you?

Yes. Yes I am *evil laugh* *singing* I am evil Gina! I am evil Gina!

So I was thinking about it the other week and realized I haven't updated Miss Pig's Misadventures. I will get to that, promise! And I might, in honor of V-Day, have a little more to this. Maybe. We'll see.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Happy President's Day, everyone! That is if you're celebrating it. For this day of uber sales pitches and stuff, I present you with an extra long chapter of Murder Over My Muppets! I've also started on the next chapter, so...if I'm feeling like you all deserve it, maybe I'll drop that on you.


VI.


The docks of the coastline afforded those who owned boats or water vehicles a nice way of getting out on the water; for the criminal element, being able to dispose of a body during high tide was the great way of ridding their organization of trouble.

For Kermit Hollywood and Andrew Hess, the benefit of being on the docks near midnight afforded them a perfectly good excuse for finding a dead body.

Only a few hours earlier, the two had bumped into each other at a low key gambling joint, where they had both spotted one of Count Gonzolo’s associates there. When they lost sight of him, they had split up in order to find him, with Kermit finding a murder instead, that of the Hellcats’ piano player, Rowlf. Afraid that having the cops at an illegal gambling ring would impact negatively on his investigation of the Vane murder, the detective had opted to get Hess to help him move the body.

So now the two of them were standing on the docks, awaiting the boys in blue to come down.

“This feels weird,” Hess muttered.

“I know,” Kermit whispered back, hearing the sounds of sirens in the distance. “But it has to be done this way. If the cops had come down, they’ve would’ve gummed my game, and we wouldn’t know who murdered Rowlf or Vane.”

“But we don’t know who murdered them now!”

“Exactly,” Kermit replied. “And we certainly couldn’t find out with them hounding us on who we might know at that gambling joint and what we know about it. I’m not happy about this either, Hess, but sometimes I gotta do what needs to be done.”

The two stopped their conversation as the first cop cars drove up, with the captain immediately getting out of the squad car and coming up to the two. “This is the second time I’ve found you at the sight of a murder, Hollywood,” he boasted. Looking down at the body, he amended with, “And this time, I’ve caught you in the act.”

“The act of what?” the frog asked. “We found him this way.”

“A likely story,” the pig huffed. “What exactly are you doing here?”

“I was supposed to meet the dead man.”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m on a case.”

“A case of what?”

“Ginger ale,” Kermit retorted. “I’m working the suspicious death of Horace Vane.”

“Suspicious?” asked the captain. “What’s so suspicious about a suicide?”

“Well maybe my client doesn’t think it was a suicide.”

“That’s silly,” Link chuckled. “Of course it was a suicide. So why were you meeting this guy?”

“He had information to tell me.”

“What kind of information?”

“I don’t know,” Kermit said. “He’s dead, isn’t he?”

“How’d you know he wanted to meet with you?”

“He passed me a note.”

“What kind of note?”

“A B-flat.”

The captain scowled at the detective before turning his attention on his companion. “What’re you doing here?”

“I’m with the frog.”

“What for?”

“I’m working with his client.”

“You’re a chister, aren’t you?”

“If you mean am I an incompetent representative of the law,” Hess started. “Then no, but I am a lawyer.”

“Who’s lawyer?”

“The Vane’s lawyer.”

“What’re you doing with him?” asked Link, nodding towards Kermit.

“I am the Vane’s lawyer,” the red head retorted. “He’s the detective; why else would I be here?”

Link again scowled at the duo before turning to some of the officers that were tending to the body. “Well?” he asked.

“He’s been shot, sir,” Fozzie answered. “Point blank and it looks through the chest. We’ll probably know once the coroner has a look at him.”

“Did he say anything?” Link asked, turning to the detective and lawyer.

Kermit shook his head. “We got here too late,” he responded. “By the time we arrived, we found him here, dead. I only wish he was able to tell me something.”

The police captain could only take the frog’s word for it, despite the feeling that there seemed to be something more that he couldn’t put his finger on about the whole thing. The pig had never liked the detective, owning to the fact that he always seemed to be sticking his nose into police business, and he was convinced that the frog and lawyer were holding something back.

Gruffly nodding to the two, the captain went back to his squad car, leaving his officers to know how to handle themselves. Fozzie greeted the two officially, before looking at the departure of his boss. “Sorry about that, Kermit.”

“No worries, Fozzie,” the frog replied. “Fozzie, this is Andrew Hess, lawyer for the Vane’s. Hess, Officer Fozzie Bear.” The two nodded to each other.

“You really don’t know why he was killed?” the bear asked.

Kermit sighed. He had never lied to his friend, even when the information wasn’t a part of Fozzie’s own investigations. “I don’t,” he replied. “But I do think he may have been looking to tell me something. I just wish I know what it was.”

“Was he a part of the case you’re working on?” questioned Fozzie.

“Yeah,” Kermit nodded. “But like I said, I don’t know what his significance would’ve been.”

After answering some questions from the LAPD and saying goodbye to Hess, Kermit made his way back to his office to think. He had meant what he told the police, he had no idea what it might have been that Rowlf wanted to tell him or even if the dog was looking for him in the first place. Perhaps the dog had gone out for a smoke or a breath of fresh air, but if that was true, then why was he killed?

And that was an important question – why had Rowlf been shot? What information did the dog have that would cost him his life? That was what Kermit now needed to find out. And of course, he still had to figure out if Horace Vane really was killed and to that end, find out who may have done it.

In thinking this, Kermit’s thoughts immediately turned to Piggy. As much as he tried to stamp down on his feelings, he couldn’t deny that she was an attractive woman and she had begun to turn his heart; his very actions at moving the body of Rowlf in order to protect her showed just how much he was invested in keeping her safe until he found out the truth in this whole thing.

So far, he had more questions than he did answers. What exactly happened in Horace Vane’s study? Was the business pig killed because he discovered someone was stealing money from him? Had he been killed because he had changed his will? Had he changed it because of the money laundering? And what of the suspects – Gonzolo and Piggy herself? Could it be that there was a suspect that he might not even know about it?

So many questions and no easy answers.


[hr]


The next morning Kermit decided to be proactive and take charge of this case once and for all. Under the assumption that this was going to be easy, the frog had been lured under a false sense of security and hadn’t truly done his duty in finding out what was going on, but no more. The first thing he did was find out where the research and development department was for Vane ventures in order for him to speak to the scientists that he had met during the financial meeting at Gonzolo’s. Horace Vane had made a fortune within various aspects of business, however his claim to fame was in communications, with the technology growing as people continued to enjoy the invention of one Alexander Graham Bell.

The R&D section for Vane Industries was located in downtown Los Angeles and was located in a building that Vane used for one of his business ventures, ten-stories with four floors devoted to that of Vane ventures. The first floor held the accounting and financial aspects of the business, while the second and third floors were various offices for the employees that worked in the company. The fourth floor was the one that interested Kermit, as it was here that he would meet with Drs Melon and Von Tropp.

The outer office seemed reasonable enough, with a lovely young chicken as the receptionist, who waved Kermit into the lab with a quiet word of caution and being careful. Taking that as a reasonable word of warning, the detective treaded carefully into the lab.

The lab was a large room, white, sterile, and filled with scientific equipment that the frog couldn’t begin to identify. Within the tubes, beakers, wires, and other highly suspect and dangerous things, were the bald headed bespectacled Melon and his assistant, the carrot topped Von Tropp; the two seemed to be arguing, or rather Von Tropp seemed to be arguing with his partner, while Melon nodded distractedly.

“Oh, hello!” the scientist exclaimed, upon seeing the frog. “Det. Hollywood, was it? What a pleasant and unexpected surprise! What can we do for you?”

“Dr. Melon, Dr. Von Tropp,” the frog nodded. “I’m actually here to ask you some questions, if I can.”

“Certainly!” Melon said. “Beakie and I were just taking a break, weren’t we?”

Von Tropp didn’t say anything, merely huffing quickly under his breath and crossing his arms across his chest.

“How can we help?”

“Well,” Kermit began. “We didn’t really get a chance to talk when we at Count Gonzolo’s house, so I thought I’d come by and ask you some questions.”

“Certainly,” Melon replied. “Though I’m not sure what kind of help we can provide you, Mr. Hollywood.”

“What exactly are you working on here?”

A light came on in Melon’s eyes at the question, while Von Tropp’s eyes got wide and he seemed to quickly move away from his partner. “Excellent question, Mr. Hollywood! It just so happens that Beakie and I are working on a new communication technology, the very future of communication as we know it! You see…”

For the next twenty minutes, Bunsen Melon went on about some sort of technology that the research and development was working on the absence of Horace Vane, one that would hopefully put the name of Vane on the map. Not understanding anything that the scientist was saying, Kermit just stood and nodded, looking at the assortment of different whatszits and whatchamacallits that Melon was pointing out.

“I hate to interrupt you, Dr. Melon,” the detective interrupted. “And while this is a fascinating topic…”

“Isn’t it!?”

“I’m afraid that I’m actually here to discuss Horace Vane’s…um…unfortunate accident.”

“Oh yes,” Melon sighed. “Sad business that. Horace was such a nice individual, such a shame that he would take his life.”

“That seems to be the opinion of the police,” Kermit replied. “So I’m guessing you don’t believe that he was murdered.”

“Murdered?” Melon chuckled. “Oh dear heavens, no! What happened was either an unfortunate accident or that of a soul that didn’t get the help he needed.”

The frog nodded at the scientist, though from the corner of his eye he could tell that his assistant didn’t feel the same. In fact, at Melon’s assessment that Vane had most likely taken his own life, Von Tropp had turned a surprised eye on the man. “And what about you, Mr. Von Tropp?” the frog asked. “Do you also believe Vane took a swan dive out his study window?”

Von Tropp opened his mouth to say something before turning to look at Melon, who was happily pouring something from one beaker to another.

“Meep meep mo meep,” he stumbled.

“Right,” Kermit replied. “Well, I guess that was all. My apologies for disturbing you.”

“No worries, my dear frog,” Melon said. “You are, after all, doing what it is you need to do to help out our poor Miss Vane.”

Kermit said his goodbyes, slightly frustrated and annoyed that this trip had produced nothing, however he did remind himself that perhaps Von Tropp knew more than he was letting on. But what and why hadn’t he said anything while Kermit was there?

Whatever the reason, the frog hoped his luck would change for the better at some point.


[hr]


It was around nine o’clock at night when the phone rang in the office. Kermit, who would usually stay to figure out something, especially when a case seemed as complicated as this one seemed to be. Not knowing who would be calling him so late, Kermit answered, hoping slightly that it might be Piggy.

“Hollywood here.”

“Mee meep?”

“Dr. Von Tropp?” the frog asked. “How’d you get my number?”

“Meep mo.”

“Oh right,” Kermit replied. “I am in the phone book. How can I help you, this late at night?”

“Meep meep me mo meep, mee mee mee meep mo, me mee mee mee mo.”

“Sure I can meet with you,” Kermit said. “Where?”


[hr]


While the R&D section of Vane ventures was quite the building during the day, at night it was just a creepy as any abandoned building that had dangers of all kinds lurking in the shadows.

Beaker Von Tropp had the foresight to make sure that the building was open when the frog arrived, about twenty minutes after the phone call. As before, Kermit headed to the fourth floor and to the outer office, before heading in to the darkened lab where he had first interviewed the scientists.

“Hello?”

“Psst!”

Turning to his right, Kermit saw the outline of the taller doctor, who was dressed in a simple suit and was standing behind one of the lab tables. Hurrying over, Kermit asked, “What’s this about?”

Beaker took a deep breath, before looking around. The red head began his tale, how he didn’t share the same opinion that his counterpart did, that he believed Vane to have been murdered. He went on to state, that a few days before his death, Vane had been involved in a loud and embittered argument with that of his daughter. Von Tropp hadn’t heard all of the disagreement, but it had been loud enough for most of those in the outer office and even the hallway to have heard it from the third floor.

“So you think the daughter might be involved?” Kermit asked, his voice hard, but his heart seemingly dropping to his knees.

The scientist shrugged, but went on to add something of importance – as he had went to speak to the business pig, he overheard a phone conversation with the pig’s estate lawyer. “How did you know it was an estate lawyer?” Kermit asked.

“Mee mo mee meep,” replied the scientist.

“I guess if you’re discussing a will,” the frog surmised. “You’d want to speak with an estate lawyer in dealing with your home and possessions. So what did you hear?”

Von Tropp went on to say that he had overheard the pig discuss plans to change his will and that he was trying to make an appointment with the lawyer that very day.

Kermit nodded, his thoughts more of a jumble than ever. With this new information, it not only shifted focus from Gonzolo to that of Piggy, but it confirmed what Hess had told him in regards to Vane changing his will, hence its mysterious disappearance. The facts were staring him in the face and it meant one thing – Gonzolo wasn’t the only suspect he now had to consider.

“You wouldn’t happen to know if Vane actually changed that will, do you?”

Beaker just shrugged. Shaking his head, he couldn’t confirm nor deny if what he heard was true or not, whether Vane actually the will nor where the will’s location was now stored. The detective nodded, thanking the scientist for his help before turning to head for the door, but the taller man stopped him from leaving.

“Meep mo,” he whispered. “Mee mo mo meep mee.”

“What makes you think I’m in danger?”

That was when the red head reminded the frog what happened to his former boss.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” murmured Kermit, before taking the final steps to reach the door and leave.

Nodding in doing his civic duty, Beaker began to erase any evidence that he had been in the lab at such a late hour, cleaning up the table where he had stood. When he felt he had cleaned enough, the red head headed out and began to make his trek back to his own home, taking the elevator down to the first floor. It was a trek he had done many times before, even at this late hour; it wasn’t unusual for either him or Melon to be in the building after hours, frantically working on something or the other.

As Beaker stood in the elevator, he thought nothing of the ride, at least until the car unexpectedly stopped. Even this wasn’t cause for alarm, only annoyance; the lift had been experiencing intermittent issues for the last few days, owing to maintenance working on other problems that seemed to have cropped up in the wake of their founder’s death. Usually, all it took was hitting the destination button about three times before the car would start again.

Before the scientist could begin to take the few steps to reach the button, he was surprised when something seemed to wrap itself around his neck and began to be lifted off his feet. What Beaker hadn’t seen was the top of the car opening and a rope lowering itself inside the car, looping around Beaker’s neck as he hummed Bach’s St. Matthew’s Passion to himself, miming the parts and conducting as he did so, eyes closed in order to enhance the imagery of the moment.

The thin man was hoisted off the floor, before bringing dropped, the rope tightening, strangling the life from the scientist and breaking his neck in the process. Once the deed was done, the rope was cut, sending Von Tropp to the floor in a rumbled heap.

The elevator suddenly started back up and continued down to the first floor.


[hr]


While Beaker Von Tropp was being strangled in the elevator, Kermit Hollywood was walking back to his office, thinking over what the last few days had brought him in regards to this case.

When Piggy had come to him, he admitted it, he didn’t think she was serious or correct. She had just lost her father in an unique situation, where suspicions surrounded his death and it wasn’t unheard of for family and friends to immediately think that a death under suspicious means was actually caused by malicious intent. In meeting Gonzolo and even learning about the missing will, there was still probable cause that Vane’s death was a suicide or even an accident, not murder.

However, in the few short days he’d been working this thing, the facts and the clues had been fast and furious and were turning him every which way and about.

From speaking with Andrew Hess, the Vane’s lawyer, it was clear that Vane suspected that someone in the company was embezzling money from him and it apparently was someone close to him or else he wouldn’t have been trying to change his will. But in that regard, that meant it could only be two people – Gonzolo or Piggy.

Up to the last few days, Kermit had at least some circumstantial evidence that Gonzolo had motives to kill the business pig; now however, he had been constantly reminded that, as a former police officer and a detective, he hadn’t eliminated the family of Vane’s, specifically his daughter. As the only child, Piggy would – assumedly – inherit everything, assuming that Vane had indeed left everything to her.

Von Tropp was the second person he had heard state that there had been a heated disagreement between daughter and father and that right afterwards, Vane had looked to changing his will. There was also the fact that her handkerchief had been discovered within the wall safe of Vane’s study and her knowledge of an illegal gambling joint that just happened to see Gonzolo and his minions on occasion.

Perhaps worse of all was the fact that Kermit had started feeling sorry for the heiress, among other things. Well, never let it be known that Kermit Hollywood was such a sucker for a dame in distress that he let it affect his work.

The frog detective was so in his thoughts, he hadn’t noticed that a dark sedan had been following him for nearly a block, coasting along the quiet and dark streets, tailing the lone figure as he walked dejectedly down the sidewalk. The frog was so distracted, he hadn’t even realized that he was on the wrong side of the street all together and had passed the very crosswalk he usually took to his office.

Sighing and shaking his head, Kermit began to cross where he was, knowing the neighborhood well enough that he could still make it to his office, just from the other direction. It was at the sight of the frog crossing that made the sedan stop its tail and speed up, heading straight for the gumshoe.

Perhaps it was years honed from knowing when a niece or nephew was going to jump him from behind or years of working the beat as both a cop and a detective, either way, Kermit knew when danger was about to come his way, even if it didn’t bother to turn on its headlights.

Jumping out of the way, the car narrowly missed him, speeding past and turning the corner. Kermit lay on the pavement for a moment, calming his heart rate and taking note of the fact that yes, he was still alive. Turning over on to his back, he made sure that he could move his feet, his legs, hips, arms, hands, and head before he ventured to stand up fully.

He was scraped and he’d definitely be a bit sore in the morning, but he was alive. Too bad he hadn’t gotten the license plate; some people in this town…

If Kermit thought his brush with death was over, he was wrong; the mysterious car which had nearly runned him down had turned back around and was again coming at him. The only difference was, instead of trying to hit him with the gun, the driver had other ideas, such as having the passenger start shooting before the car had even reached the detective.

Once again, Hollywood jumped for cover, taking refuge within the nearby alley and hiding behind a dumpster. The second attempt had failed, but this time it seemed as though the would be assassins weren’t going to go for three.

Kermit crouched for a moment before taking a seat on the ground. Once again, he checked himself over, noting that he was probably more scraped and bruised than before. This time, instead of heading to his office, he decided to venture home, with the hopes that any more attempts on his life would have the decency to wait until the next day.

 

[Misskermie]

Ah!

Not Beakie!

Abd now theyre trying to get Kermit!

But who's they?

More! Pretty please?

 

[The Count]

Good schtuff... But a couple of nitpicks raised their ugly little heads.

"with that of his daughter"?

"shifted focus from Gonzolo to that of Piggy"?

There are a couple of things that also don't make sense due to a word omission or two, the only one I can recollect right now is "The thin man was hoisted off the floor, before bringing dropped, the rope tightening, strangling the life from the scientist".

I'm not fully buying the death of as I keep reading the movie you've painstakingly crafted for us to enjoy. And on that note, please, post more!

 

[WebMistressGina]

Ah!

Not Beakie!

Yep, but as we know, he did a killer death scene.

Abd now theyre trying to get Kermit!

But who's they?

More! Pretty please?

The bad guys.

Good schtuff... But a couple of nitpicks raised their ugly little heads.

"with that of his daughter"?

"shifted focus from Gonzolo to that of Piggy"?

Um...is this because of the 'that of'? I actually think in this case, those are warranted, but I kinda need to know where exactly this was. Kermit's musings, right?

There are a couple of things that also don't make sense due to a word omission or two, the only one I can recollect right now is "The thin man was hoisted off the floor, before bringing dropped, the rope tightening, strangling the life from the scientist".

I'm not fully buying the death of as I keep reading the movie you've painstakingly crafted for us to enjoy. And on that note, please, post more!

Um...hmm...the only thing I think is that I may have worded that wrong. See, the rope goes around Beaker's neck and he's being pulled up, right? and then he's dropped, which essentially strangles him, while also breaking his neck.

I will admit, however, that Beaker's death scene came to me when I wrote it, as I hadn't really invisioned what it was supposed to be, only that he dies. And as we'll learn in the next chapter, I had to make it look as though it wasn't a murder, dig?

I am working on the next chapter, but I can tell it's going to be one of those weeks so while I hope to update next Monday, I say don't plan to see one maybe. And yes, that kinda goes for Bogen County, despite my enjoyment of it. We'll see.

 

[TheWeirdoGirl]

I finally got around to reading this, and I'm glad I did. There's lots of great stuff in here. Keep up the good work!