Merry Christmas everyone and Happy Holidays to those that aren't celebrating! Sorry for the lateness, things have been crazy busy. Here's your Monday update, which is both late and before Christmas Eve (I'm going to make a point of getting MoMM up on that day) aand yes there will be a Motocross update this weekend hopefully!
Enjoy!
VII.
Two months later
It was nearly midnight by the time Piggy made her way through the darkened living room of her home. Thankfully, years in a theater that hardly held up on an hourly basis, had trained her eyes to see even in the dark and that ability helped in navigating her way from the door, through the living room and the kitchen, to that of the master bedroom and the warmth and softness of her bed.
The last few months had been unlike any movie production that she had been involved in before. She of course realized that taking on the position as director of the film meant that extra work would need to be put in place in order to make sure that the story that was on the page translated to the screen. The diva had been aware, of course, that the director needed to confer with cast, crew, editors, and screenwriters; she just hadn’t been aware of just how much work went into all of that.
When she had been the leading lady in their films, she was just on the acting side; she certainly had her share of fights with the director about what she should be doing and what she wasn’t doing and often times their arguments had been caught on film.
If there was ever a time in which she appreciated all the work Kermit put into trying to corral them all together, it was now.
The last two months had been full force in bringing Scooter’s script to the big screen. In one sense, the ability to work with people she had worked with before helped with the transition from leading lady to directing leading lady; since the initial announcement and ultimate first day of shooting, Piggy had been lucky to only break up two picket lines, one strike, and a few unruly folks who objected to her as their director.
Luckily, both Kermit and Scooter – as producer and screenwriter respectfully – had been in her corner and it forced a few people to curb their enthusiasm regarding their director.
In another sense, being director held a lot of responsibility that was completely different from being the actor on the other side of the camera. Directing wasn’t just about working with the cast and crew; it was figuring out the positions of characters, of scenery, and even dialogue. While she hadn’t wanted to completely rewrite Scooter’s script, there were some places where the writer had obviously left dialogue open.
Like everyone else, the younger Muppet was used to their fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants method of acting, in which many of their classic scenes and sketches had been the product of a forgotten line or usually, in the case of Kermit and Piggy, an argument that went from personal to professional within minutes. And in some cases, the impromptu decision to ad-lib a word or a line sometimes worked better than they may have even guessed.
Aside from working with the cast on dialogue and character, she also had to work with the crew. One would think that a film that was based in the roaring 30s and 40s wouldn’t see the need to for extravagant explosions, there was action in this movie, especially considering that this was a murder mystery after all. And for some inexplicable reason, Gonzo was placed in charge of handling anything dangerous.
Piggy had to admit that appointing Gonzo as special effects overlord had frightened her immensely. It was Gonzo after all, which meant anything could happen and that’s what worried her. Her mind had immediately conjured up sets ruined, stage pigs running around on fire, plague, pestilence, and the entire movie production falling apart. However, as she would later acknowledge, no one knew more about stunts and effects than Gonzo and out of the available people they could choose from – Crazy Harry being one – he was probably the safest and more responsible of picks.
It also helped that she had worked with these people for years and they had worked with her for years; that combination of factors helped in the first few days of shooting. It worked to her advantage that she wasn’t even introduced for the first few scenes of the movie and that Fozzie and Kermit had such a rapport with each other that she had kept the bear’s accidental knocking over of the papers that had been on the desk as part of the scene.
The first week had gone so smoothly that the diva hadn’t thought things wouldn’t continue as such. She was wrong of course, as directing was nothing like acting. Thank heavens she had Scooter, who had done enough assisting to their frog director in the past that he was practically training her as the big boss. Piggy was somewhat knowledgeable about what happened behind the scenes – you didn’t date the frog and not learn anything – but she wasn’t as familiar as she probably should have been.
Again, darling Andrew had come to her rescue, teaching her a bit about the directing side during production and he knew she would lean on him heavily when it came to post-production. But as many had said, Piggy had an eye for design and scenery, something that greatly aided her during her modeling days and a chief reason why she was appointed Vogue’s plus size editor.
Kermit had helped too, which was why her only thoughts now were getting into bed and snuggling the heck out of that frog.
Noting the time of night, she was sure he was probably all nestled under the covers, already asleep.
Without having to worry about writing or directing, Kermit was usually done at the end of the day when his scenes were over; as producer, other than his interests, he wouldn’t be involved until they were in post-production where he would probably help the two with the editing. There were very few times in which Kermit left before everyone else and Piggy felt this was his well-deserved rest.
Just as she suspected, she could see the lump that was buried under the covers, though said lump was actually sleeping on her side of the bed. First the dressing room and now the bed, she thought. Well played, Frog. Well played.
For said frog, he was nice and cozy in a warm bed, but he had been acutely aware that he was missing something, or rather someone. Kermit had been in bed for hours, though some of those had been going over some of his lines and stage directions that Scooter and Piggy had come up with that day, but as he sat reading, he kept an eye on the clock. True, he did feel a little bad about leaving Piggy there with just Scooter, Rowlf, and Gonzo, but he had promised himself that he wasn’t going to get in her way.
It didn’t mean he couldn’t miss her when he went to bed though.
Though Kermit could stay up well past the normal time a regular person would be going to bed, the frog was a light sleeper. Perhaps it was years of stress that just wouldn’t allow him to sleep until the idea or issue he felt took precedence; it could have also been years of babysitting several hundred nieces and nephews, as well as being the official warden of the mental ward he called his cast and crew.
Needless to say, the frog was well aware of the diva entering their bedroom and sliding into bed next to him. “Silly girl,” he murmured, sleepily, feeling the arm drape around his midsection. “I told you not to come here; you know how jealous the wife gets.”
He expected the huff, but hadn’t countered on the pinch to his side that caused him to squeak. Casting a look at the intruder, he said, “Oh it’s you.”
“Yes, it’s Moi,” came the response. “And if you know what’s good for you, it’ll always be Moi.”
“I’ll have you know that hurt.”
“Oh stop being a baby,” she chastised, throwing the same arm around him once more. “You’re perfectly fine. Cold, but fine.”
“That’s probably because you haven’t been here to keep me warm.” He had meant it as a joke, but the way she drew him closer set off the alarm bells that she may have taken that personally.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Hey,” he replied, stroking the arm that griped him. “Darlin’, I was just kidding. I know what it’s like to have to stay late at the studios. Remember?”
“Boy, do I!”
“Well then,” he said, nudging her. “There you go.” The two were silent for a moment, to the point where Piggy was sure that Kermit had most likely fallen back to sleep. “Looked good out there today.”
Today had been the staging for one of the action scenes in the movie; at this point, Hollywood was getting a little too close to the truth, especially after finding out that assistant researcher Beaker Von Tropp had been murdered. Kermit had been rather surprised that Piggy had let the carrot-topped pin cushion play the scene the way he did, but he had to admit that when not on fire or in some sort of calamity, Beaker could act.
As Kermit’s character got close to finding out who had murdered a body count of three, he was shot at and nearly runned down by a faceless driver and unmarked car. The frog had to give it to both Piggy and Gonzo for staging the scene so well that he actually hadn’t gotten hurt during it. There was also the scene where, if it hadn’t been clear before, that Hollywood and Vane were falling for each other.
In another art imitates life crowding roaring scene, Kermit had used a bit of his frustration at not seeing Piggy out on Vane and never once missing a beat, Piggy had come back at him. Other than the first and maybe last lines, the whole thing had been ad-libbed, almost identical to their earlier scene in the Kit Kat bar; in hindsight, the frog realized that the ad-libbing technically was in the script. Scooter, as efficient as he had always been, made clear notes in at least their copies that any ad-libbing between them was fine by him.
Luckily, both had run out of steam just at the moment when they were supposed to kiss, but were interrupted by the news of Von Tropp’s death. Even more fortunately, the two of them were able to…settle their differences during the break that happened soon afterwards. Even more fortuitous, as Dr. Teeth would say, was that they had been found out by Scooter they were leaving Kermit’s studio office.
“You’re wearing lipstick,” he said, after only taking one look at the two before going back to his tablet.
“Andrew,” Piggy huffed. “I know this; Moi always wears lipstick.”
“I wasn’t talking to you. And your shirt’s miss-buttoned.”
Fighting down the blush that threatened to redden cheeks that had just come out of being flushed, the diva was spared with the immediate flinging of Scooter’s own office keys towards her. “Whatever would we do without you, Scooter?” she asked, quickly walking past him towards his office.
“Answer embarrassing, yet highly entertaining questions,” he quipped.
“Was that a compliment?” she asked.
“I do give them out occasionally.”
“Well, thank you.”
“Nothing smart to say?” he asked.
“I always have something smart to say, thank you,” she retorted, pinching his middle.
“Why do you keep hitting me?” he groused. “And pinching me?”
“One,” she said, pinching him again. “Because I can and two, that’s for stealing my dressing room and my side of the bed.”
“Woman,” Kermit protested. “Firstly, I call shenanigans with that dressing room, which I don’t ever remember assigning to you and secondly…”
He never got to finish, as Piggy expertly flipped over, taking him with her and deposited him on to his side of the bed, before rolling back over. The frog was rather astonished, he couldn’t fathom what actually happened and when he did, he was too stunned to really say anything. Piggy, who was of course enjoying this, was going to take the high road and just leave him speechless, but when did she ever just let sleeping frogs lie?
Turning slightly to look at him, she said, “Burn” before turning back around. Only a moment later, she turned to look at him again. “Did you just call me your wife?”
“I don’t recall.”
“Right."