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Sam and Friends BookMarkFraggle
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Chapter Eighteen
Um. Sorry? I've been gone forever. Somebody really oughta just give me a good kick. I'd understand.
Chapter Eighteen
Miss Piggy had had enough. She'd made all sorts of people angry when she departed the shoot so she could return to Kermit, and had arrived only to find Kermit gone who knows where. So instead of consoling her frog (who had sounded far more worried than usual last time they'd talked), she was stuck rehearsing an act for a special about Fozzie with NO FOZZIE around. It had only been two days, but two days surrounded by the Muppets with no Kermit was enough to drive Miss Piggy to the razor's edge of madness.
The more she thought about her situation, the angrier she became. Trembling with rage, she looked around for something to take her frustration out on. When nothing presented itself, she just grabbed the nearest breakable object (a vase of flowers) and hurled it at the door of her dressing room. Before it hit, the door opened.
"Miss Piggy, it's time for your ..." was all the further Bean got before he took a vase full of flowers right to the face. Piggy straightened herself up, checked her hair in the vanity mirror -- perfect, of course -- and stepped over the unconscious Bean Bunny on her way out the door.
"Thank you, Bean," she said politely. "I'll just get out to the stage, then."
Piggy stepped onto the stage just as Bobo and Link were departing. At her nod, the orchestra struck up a show tune with true vaudeville flair. Piggy thrust her arms out dramatically and launched into the opening stanza.
Partway through the first line, her voice quavered. Scooter started to ask if she was alright, but an angry glance silenced him. Piggy would have no one question her professional demeanor, particularly in mid-performance. On the third line her voice cracked, and on the fourth it broke completely. As Piggy attempted to regain her composure, the Muppets began sharing anxious and worried looks with one another. Before she hit the chorus, Miss Piggy was sobbing.
As a single man, the theater stood stock-still. Not a muscle twitched. Nobody knew what to do -- approaching an upset Miss Piggy was akin to poking an angry lion with a stick. Typically, Kermit was the only one capable of handling her in such situations, and even he usually ended up with a number of bruises. Additionally, nobody could figure out exactly WHY Piggy had fallen apart. Aside from the disappearance of Fozzie, things weren't all that out of the ordinary in the Muppet theater.
But there sat Miss Piggy, on center stage, sobbing her eyes out, and in between sobs glaring angrily at anyone who didn't pretend not to notice. Suddenly Sara was at her side, a friendly smile on her face and a loving arm over Piggy's shoulder. Piggy made as if to turn away, and then gave up and melted against Sara. Gingerly, Sara helped Piggy to her feet, and together they walked back to Piggy's dressing room.
After she sat Piggy down on the room's futon, Sara pushed Bean out of the doorframe and closed the door. After a big, prolonged hug, Sara groped awkwardly for an appropriate question.
"Uh, Piggy .." she started lamely, and trailed off as she searched around for something more.
"It is hard, sometimes," said Miss Piggy softly, in answer to the unasked question.
"What is hard?"
"To love somebody who loves everybody."
This sort of made sense to Sara, although she failed to see how it connected in any way to the current situation. However, she wisely held her questions and just nodded in response.
"I'm special to Kermie. I know I am -- he tells me so. Well, when he's willing to admit it to himself, he tells me so. And that's what makes it all worth it, you know? Knowing that a guy who loves everybody, and who everybody loves, loves you the best. It makes you feel like -- well, like a diva. Like the whole world exists just to make our relationship possible. Sure, I have to share Kermit with millions of people. But I get the biggest piece, see? In the whole big world, I get the most special attention. Does that make sense?"
Sara nodded again. In a way, she understood. Scooter may not be the leader of the Muppets, but he was certainly one of the most beloved members, and belonging to a family as big as the Muppets did require her to share Scooter with a LOT of people.
"I know," she told Piggy. "It can sometimes be hard to share them, can't it? But we have too, right? Because ... well, because they wouldn’t be themselves if they weren't trying to take care of everybody. They wouldn't be the guys we fell in love with." Sara still didn't understand why this was bothering Piggy now of all times, but she tried to empathize anyway. And it WAS nice, talking about relationships. Piggy was one of the very few people in the Muppet family who could understand what it was like.
"Of course," said Piggy through a few sniffles.
A sharp knock on the door interrupted their conversation.
"Go AWAY," demanded Piggy. "Sara and I are having an very IMPORTANT conversation, and we do not wish to be interru..."
The door opened, and a guilty looking Wanda peeked in.
"Sorry," she said meekly. "It's just that we were coming to check on you and ... well ... we couldn't help but overhear what you were saying."
Piggy noticed that Wanda's eyes were glistening just a bit. Tears of sympathy? Or understanding? Probably a bit of both, decided Piggy, as she realized that Wanda, too, could understand how hard it was dating one of the boys.
"We?" asked Sara.
"Bawk, bawk," came Camilla's voice from outside the door.
Piggy laughed in spite of herself. "Oh, fine," she muttered in a bemused tone. "You might as well come in. But shut the door behind you. And NOBODY else gets in, understand? It's already getting crowded in here."
Wanda and Camilla hurried into the room.
"You won't tell anyone?" demanded Piggy. "I can't have my image ruined. People will think I'm nothing more than a big sop."
"Piggy, who are we going to tell?" asked Wanda. "We're just glad to know we're not the only ones who feel jealous sometimes."
"Bawk, Ba-bawk-bawk," said Camilla.
"You're right, Camilla," chuckled Sara. "We really should make girl time more often."
"So Piggy, why's this bothering you now?" asked Wanda, cutting to the heart of the issue Sara had been too uneasy to bring up. Sara almost deflected the question, but decided that Miss Piggy was looking composed enough that she could probably fend for herself.
"Because ... well ... oh, it's hard to explain," said Piggy, frustrated with herself for being unable to put her feelings into words. "I guess it is because there is one person who has a claim on Kermit that trumps my own claim. Well, okay. It doesn't trump, but it's pretty close to equal, anyway."
"Fozzie," whispered Sara, beginning to understand.
Piggy nodded. "Kermit and I have been together for years, but Fozzie and Kermit have been best friends since before I even entered the picture. I may not understand it, but there is a bond of friendship there which is deeper than the Grand Canyon."
"You're jealous of Fozzie?" asked Wanda, a bit confused.
"Not jealous," said Sara, as the light dawned. "Worried. More worried than Kermit, probably," she added.
"Bawk?"
"Because Kermit is only worried about Fozzie. But Miss Piggy is worried about Fozzie AND Kermit."
"Worried about Kermit?" asked Wanda. "But Rowlf and Gonzo are with him, and I'm sure they aren't doing anything dangerous."
Camilla bawked a quick, amused rebuke.
"Anything life-threatening, anyway," amended Wanda quickly.
"Don't you see?" insisted Sara. "Piggy knows how much Fozzie means to Kermit. Miss Piggy, more than any of us, knows what failing his friends does to Kermit. She knows just how badly he beats himself up for it. And she knows exactly how much Fozzie means to Kermit, so she has to know how much Kermit blames himself for failing Fozzie. Not only does she have to worry about Fozzie like the rest of us, she's also constantly thinking of how Kermit must be feeling."
Camilla and Wanda nodded, finally understanding. And suddenly, they too were very concerned for the emotional well-being of their own boys, who were also very old friends of Fozzie. Sara was inwardly kicking herself for not putting it together right away -- she'd seen how badly Scooter had antagonized over staying behind when his best friends went searching for Fozzie -- she should have realized it would be infinitely worse for Kermit, who always felt directly responsible for the well-being of the entire Muppet family.
"And she can't do anything to help him," said Wanda, finishing Sara's long explanation.
This last bit was too much for Piggy, who had already began trembling again while listening to Sara outline Piggy's worries. She burst into tears again, nodding in agreement to Wanda's final thought.
At that moment, Sara knew just what to do. "Since when has Miss Piggy been helpless?" she demanded in a stern tone.
"Hm?" asked Piggy, looking up.
"C'mon Piggy. We all know you. You're the most talented, resourceful, capable person we know. Right girls?"
Wanda and Camilla certainly agreed.
"But Sara, how can I help Kermit if I don't even know where he is?"
"Figure out where he is," replied Sara confidently. "You've known Fozzie nearly as long as Kermit. And you, have, too," she added, jabbing a finger towards Camilla. "Where would you start looking for him?"
"Bawk bawk bawk."
"Vous are right!" said Piggy excitedly. "Of course they'd visit Emily first. Oh, oh, somebody give me a phone, hurry! I must call Emily and find out where my Kermie is!"
Wanda fetched Piggy's cell phone from atop her dresser and handed it to Piggy. Piggy held a brief, muffled conversation with Emily Bear, and then squealed in delight as she hung up.
"They DID visit Emily, and she knows right where they went. Fozzie's family hibernating caves. Now hurry ladies, hurry! We must get our things together at once if we are to go after them."
"But how can we leave?" asked Wanda. "We've got a show to put together -- fast. And Scooter's already going nuts having to rehearse without Kermit, Gonzo and Rowlf. He'll be ballistic if we split, too."
"I'll take care of Scooter," said Sara with a playful twinkle in her eye. "You ladies just hustle along out of here and go find the guys."
"But Sara," protested Piggy. "Don't vous want to come with us?"
Sara hesitated for just a moment -- she did want to go -- but she knew she couldn't. "Course I want to come with you," she said. "But Scooter is going to need me here for when he goes insane. I can't leave him behind, I'd just spend the whole trip worried about him anyway. You girls go pack. I'll call Jerome and have him bring the car around back for you, and then distract Scooter while you leave."
"Thanks, Sara," said Miss Piggy, grabbing Sara's hand briefly and giving it a quick squeeze before she ran off.
"You're welcome. Take care of Kermit, okay? We need him around here."
Piggy nodded, her familiar confidence etched back into her face. "We'll find them."
"I know you will."
Um. Sorry? I've been gone forever. Somebody really oughta just give me a good kick. I'd understand.
Chapter Eighteen
Miss Piggy had had enough. She'd made all sorts of people angry when she departed the shoot so she could return to Kermit, and had arrived only to find Kermit gone who knows where. So instead of consoling her frog (who had sounded far more worried than usual last time they'd talked), she was stuck rehearsing an act for a special about Fozzie with NO FOZZIE around. It had only been two days, but two days surrounded by the Muppets with no Kermit was enough to drive Miss Piggy to the razor's edge of madness.
The more she thought about her situation, the angrier she became. Trembling with rage, she looked around for something to take her frustration out on. When nothing presented itself, she just grabbed the nearest breakable object (a vase of flowers) and hurled it at the door of her dressing room. Before it hit, the door opened.
"Miss Piggy, it's time for your ..." was all the further Bean got before he took a vase full of flowers right to the face. Piggy straightened herself up, checked her hair in the vanity mirror -- perfect, of course -- and stepped over the unconscious Bean Bunny on her way out the door.
"Thank you, Bean," she said politely. "I'll just get out to the stage, then."
Piggy stepped onto the stage just as Bobo and Link were departing. At her nod, the orchestra struck up a show tune with true vaudeville flair. Piggy thrust her arms out dramatically and launched into the opening stanza.
Partway through the first line, her voice quavered. Scooter started to ask if she was alright, but an angry glance silenced him. Piggy would have no one question her professional demeanor, particularly in mid-performance. On the third line her voice cracked, and on the fourth it broke completely. As Piggy attempted to regain her composure, the Muppets began sharing anxious and worried looks with one another. Before she hit the chorus, Miss Piggy was sobbing.
As a single man, the theater stood stock-still. Not a muscle twitched. Nobody knew what to do -- approaching an upset Miss Piggy was akin to poking an angry lion with a stick. Typically, Kermit was the only one capable of handling her in such situations, and even he usually ended up with a number of bruises. Additionally, nobody could figure out exactly WHY Piggy had fallen apart. Aside from the disappearance of Fozzie, things weren't all that out of the ordinary in the Muppet theater.
But there sat Miss Piggy, on center stage, sobbing her eyes out, and in between sobs glaring angrily at anyone who didn't pretend not to notice. Suddenly Sara was at her side, a friendly smile on her face and a loving arm over Piggy's shoulder. Piggy made as if to turn away, and then gave up and melted against Sara. Gingerly, Sara helped Piggy to her feet, and together they walked back to Piggy's dressing room.
After she sat Piggy down on the room's futon, Sara pushed Bean out of the doorframe and closed the door. After a big, prolonged hug, Sara groped awkwardly for an appropriate question.
"Uh, Piggy .." she started lamely, and trailed off as she searched around for something more.
"It is hard, sometimes," said Miss Piggy softly, in answer to the unasked question.
"What is hard?"
"To love somebody who loves everybody."
This sort of made sense to Sara, although she failed to see how it connected in any way to the current situation. However, she wisely held her questions and just nodded in response.
"I'm special to Kermie. I know I am -- he tells me so. Well, when he's willing to admit it to himself, he tells me so. And that's what makes it all worth it, you know? Knowing that a guy who loves everybody, and who everybody loves, loves you the best. It makes you feel like -- well, like a diva. Like the whole world exists just to make our relationship possible. Sure, I have to share Kermit with millions of people. But I get the biggest piece, see? In the whole big world, I get the most special attention. Does that make sense?"
Sara nodded again. In a way, she understood. Scooter may not be the leader of the Muppets, but he was certainly one of the most beloved members, and belonging to a family as big as the Muppets did require her to share Scooter with a LOT of people.
"I know," she told Piggy. "It can sometimes be hard to share them, can't it? But we have too, right? Because ... well, because they wouldn’t be themselves if they weren't trying to take care of everybody. They wouldn't be the guys we fell in love with." Sara still didn't understand why this was bothering Piggy now of all times, but she tried to empathize anyway. And it WAS nice, talking about relationships. Piggy was one of the very few people in the Muppet family who could understand what it was like.
"Of course," said Piggy through a few sniffles.
A sharp knock on the door interrupted their conversation.
"Go AWAY," demanded Piggy. "Sara and I are having an very IMPORTANT conversation, and we do not wish to be interru..."
The door opened, and a guilty looking Wanda peeked in.
"Sorry," she said meekly. "It's just that we were coming to check on you and ... well ... we couldn't help but overhear what you were saying."
Piggy noticed that Wanda's eyes were glistening just a bit. Tears of sympathy? Or understanding? Probably a bit of both, decided Piggy, as she realized that Wanda, too, could understand how hard it was dating one of the boys.
"We?" asked Sara.
"Bawk, bawk," came Camilla's voice from outside the door.
Piggy laughed in spite of herself. "Oh, fine," she muttered in a bemused tone. "You might as well come in. But shut the door behind you. And NOBODY else gets in, understand? It's already getting crowded in here."
Wanda and Camilla hurried into the room.
"You won't tell anyone?" demanded Piggy. "I can't have my image ruined. People will think I'm nothing more than a big sop."
"Piggy, who are we going to tell?" asked Wanda. "We're just glad to know we're not the only ones who feel jealous sometimes."
"Bawk, Ba-bawk-bawk," said Camilla.
"You're right, Camilla," chuckled Sara. "We really should make girl time more often."
"So Piggy, why's this bothering you now?" asked Wanda, cutting to the heart of the issue Sara had been too uneasy to bring up. Sara almost deflected the question, but decided that Miss Piggy was looking composed enough that she could probably fend for herself.
"Because ... well ... oh, it's hard to explain," said Piggy, frustrated with herself for being unable to put her feelings into words. "I guess it is because there is one person who has a claim on Kermit that trumps my own claim. Well, okay. It doesn't trump, but it's pretty close to equal, anyway."
"Fozzie," whispered Sara, beginning to understand.
Piggy nodded. "Kermit and I have been together for years, but Fozzie and Kermit have been best friends since before I even entered the picture. I may not understand it, but there is a bond of friendship there which is deeper than the Grand Canyon."
"You're jealous of Fozzie?" asked Wanda, a bit confused.
"Not jealous," said Sara, as the light dawned. "Worried. More worried than Kermit, probably," she added.
"Bawk?"
"Because Kermit is only worried about Fozzie. But Miss Piggy is worried about Fozzie AND Kermit."
"Worried about Kermit?" asked Wanda. "But Rowlf and Gonzo are with him, and I'm sure they aren't doing anything dangerous."
Camilla bawked a quick, amused rebuke.
"Anything life-threatening, anyway," amended Wanda quickly.
"Don't you see?" insisted Sara. "Piggy knows how much Fozzie means to Kermit. Miss Piggy, more than any of us, knows what failing his friends does to Kermit. She knows just how badly he beats himself up for it. And she knows exactly how much Fozzie means to Kermit, so she has to know how much Kermit blames himself for failing Fozzie. Not only does she have to worry about Fozzie like the rest of us, she's also constantly thinking of how Kermit must be feeling."
Camilla and Wanda nodded, finally understanding. And suddenly, they too were very concerned for the emotional well-being of their own boys, who were also very old friends of Fozzie. Sara was inwardly kicking herself for not putting it together right away -- she'd seen how badly Scooter had antagonized over staying behind when his best friends went searching for Fozzie -- she should have realized it would be infinitely worse for Kermit, who always felt directly responsible for the well-being of the entire Muppet family.
"And she can't do anything to help him," said Wanda, finishing Sara's long explanation.
This last bit was too much for Piggy, who had already began trembling again while listening to Sara outline Piggy's worries. She burst into tears again, nodding in agreement to Wanda's final thought.
At that moment, Sara knew just what to do. "Since when has Miss Piggy been helpless?" she demanded in a stern tone.
"Hm?" asked Piggy, looking up.
"C'mon Piggy. We all know you. You're the most talented, resourceful, capable person we know. Right girls?"
Wanda and Camilla certainly agreed.
"But Sara, how can I help Kermit if I don't even know where he is?"
"Figure out where he is," replied Sara confidently. "You've known Fozzie nearly as long as Kermit. And you, have, too," she added, jabbing a finger towards Camilla. "Where would you start looking for him?"
"Bawk bawk bawk."
"Vous are right!" said Piggy excitedly. "Of course they'd visit Emily first. Oh, oh, somebody give me a phone, hurry! I must call Emily and find out where my Kermie is!"
Wanda fetched Piggy's cell phone from atop her dresser and handed it to Piggy. Piggy held a brief, muffled conversation with Emily Bear, and then squealed in delight as she hung up.
"They DID visit Emily, and she knows right where they went. Fozzie's family hibernating caves. Now hurry ladies, hurry! We must get our things together at once if we are to go after them."
"But how can we leave?" asked Wanda. "We've got a show to put together -- fast. And Scooter's already going nuts having to rehearse without Kermit, Gonzo and Rowlf. He'll be ballistic if we split, too."
"I'll take care of Scooter," said Sara with a playful twinkle in her eye. "You ladies just hustle along out of here and go find the guys."
"But Sara," protested Piggy. "Don't vous want to come with us?"
Sara hesitated for just a moment -- she did want to go -- but she knew she couldn't. "Course I want to come with you," she said. "But Scooter is going to need me here for when he goes insane. I can't leave him behind, I'd just spend the whole trip worried about him anyway. You girls go pack. I'll call Jerome and have him bring the car around back for you, and then distract Scooter while you leave."
"Thanks, Sara," said Miss Piggy, grabbing Sara's hand briefly and giving it a quick squeeze before she ran off.
"You're welcome. Take care of Kermit, okay? We need him around here."
Piggy nodded, her familiar confidence etched back into her face. "We'll find them."
"I know you will."
