VENT ALERT!!!(if not interested,then DON'T READ!!)

[Katzi428]

I've mentioned in the past that I've been friends with someone since high school. She's gotten me angry off & on . So I come here for consoling (which I appreciate very much!)
Now...I got some wonderful news yesterday,and I called her today to share it with her (tried calling her yesterday but,because it was Easter,she was out.That was fine.) So I called her & her attitude was basically "Oh that's nice." but said in a "So what?" tone of voice!
You'd think after over 24 years of friendship,she'd be experiencing joy with me right? In the immortal words of Oscar the Grouch"DING DONG...YOU'RE WRONG!!"
This just bugs the ever living daylights out of me. (I have a stronger word,but since this is a family forum & I respect the mods I won't use it.)
A couple of my friends Online that I never met were happy for me!What does that tell ya,huh?


close to tears

 

[CensoredAlso]

Oh yeah I can totally relate to that. It makes you feel terrible. How to interpret it? It really depends on the person. Sometimes an insensitive lack of interest is a sign that the person's not really a friend. Other times they just might have been thoughtless that day, they may not realize how important it is. And sometimes a person acts all happy for you but it's all an act. Words are very cheap after all, hehe. It all depends. I'm sorry that happened in any case.

 

[Katzi428]

Oh yeah I can totally relate to that. It makes you feel terrible. How to interpret it? It really depends on the person. Sometimes an insensitive lack of interest is a sign that the person's not really a friend. Other times they just might have been thoughtless that day, they may not realize how important it is. And sometimes a person acts all happy for you but it's all an act. Words are very cheap after all, hehe. It all depends. I'm sorry that happened in any case.

Thanks heralde.I've really wanted to tell her to take her attitude & put it someplace (if you catch my drift ) But her parents & my mom (& dad too when he was alive) have become good friends.So it'd be kind of awkward if I said anything.
Plus both our birthdays are coming up & we usually celebrate together. This year,I'm not so sure I want to.

 

[CensoredAlso]

I definitely know what you mean. Well, talking with your friends about your feelings in a calm manner first is usually the best thing. This person might have been having a bad day. But all you know is your own side of the story.

You have to be careful, friends are hard to come by. But you don't want to be stepped on either.

As I said, in the end words are cheap, both nice and mean. Actions are what counts.

 

[Katzi428]

I definitely know what you mean. Well, talking with your friends about your feelings in a calm manner first is usually the best thing. This person might have been having a bad day. But all you know is your own side of the story.

Yeah...that's true.She was out when I first called & I was told she'd call me back.So she did.

You have to be careful, friends are hard to come by. But you don't want to be stepped on either.

This is true too. But she's had somewhat of an attitude problem for the past year or so.

As I said, in the end words are cheap, both nice and mean. Actions are what counts.

sigh I guess I'm sick of always being the one to hold my tongue (so to speak) But I'll keep being nice.

 

[CensoredAlso]

I've been sick of that too. It's hard when it feels like no one else is being nice. Well as someone said, we don't do the right thing because it will get somewhere. We do it simply because it's the right thing. That's good enough for me, even if it's not always easy. The main thing is to respect ourselves, then other people will respect us.

The word 'nice' bothers me. We throw it around a lot, but what does it mean? I mean, the first definition of nice is "pleasing; agreeable" (dictionary.com). That really has very little to do with morality. It just means you agree with people and you don't cause problems. You can't always be 'nice' in that way. The second definition of nice is "kind." That's the truly valuable definition to me. That's where actions should come in.

...Sorry I really got into this and ended up editing it like 50 times! lol

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Well, I'd say the most valuable thing I could offer in this case, is try sitting down with her and talking. You say she's been turning you off for the past year. That's good that you picked up on that!
Odds are that if you've specifically noticed that, than there's something specific causing that. See if you can find out what it is, and try and work it out with her. I know it sounds cheesey!


Also, if it bothers you to spend your birthday with her, than don't. Why should you make yourself miserable?

Hugs, and I hope you feel better!

 

[redBoobergurl]

Sorry to hear that Kathy. It really sucks when you just want to share your joy with someone and they let their own issues get in the way. She's probably jealous and is totally taking it the wrong way. (((HUGS))) to you and I hope you figure out what you want to do about your birthdays.

 

[Skye]

I'm really sorry to hear about this, Kathy. That's really sad that she acted that way to you. Who knows why she was that way. I think, like Kate said, you could talk to her about it, try to learn why she acted that way. This is a pretty tough situation to deal with! But you could tell her that it was a really important thing to you... maybe she doesn't realize she hurt you? I really hope you can work it out with her. (((Kathy!!)))

 

[JoeyMuppet]

(((HUGS))) you could really use some right now. Hope you feel better, Kathy.