Skeeter Rock

[RedPiggy]

Still trying to come up with a song for the funeral. I'll be working this weekend, so no updates, but the EM will be singing for the funeral (complete with guest musician) ... and I can't decide what song to use. It needs to be ... unconventional. Something that would make Sam have a heart attack over, LOL.

 

[The Count]

Something like I Wanna Rock & Roll All Night by KISS?

 

[RedPiggy]

CHAPTER THREE
(Note: I realized there was a thread on MC about songs the EM should sing. So, I got my inspiration from there.)

Skeeter clenched Large Marvin’s hand rather tightly as they approached the small chapel where the funeral was to be held.

“Ow!”

“Sorry!” Skeeter shouted, giggling out of embarrassment and letting go. As they entered, the pews were sparsely populated by Kermit, Piggy, Fozzie, Animal, and Pepe and Rizzo on the left and Gonzo, Rowlf, and Scooter on the right.

Skeeter held her breath as she glanced at both sides of the room. A few blocks from where Kermit made his home in his early adulthood was a small brownstone, where a woman in her early forties decided to help raise the children of the tenants. She even cared for some pets for a policeman who lived next door. As the children grew up and went their own way, life got kind of lonely for those left behind.

After several years of living in a boarding house, some returned to that brownstone, joined by some newcomers, to live near a frail version of their loving caregiver, who had been having health problems for ages. They had hoped to spend Christmas with “Nanny”, as they called her, but by then she had been hospitalized. As they weren’t technically family, they couldn’t visit with her. It got better, though, when she was moved to a nursing home. The way the Muppets cheered up the residents gave them certain privileges. At the very least, they were able to spend some time with her niece, Fanny’s daughter, and her daughter, Claire.

Only … Skeeter hadn’t returned. She had been obsessed with trying out for the Olympics, and endlessly frustrated that two-foot-tall Muppets just weren’t valued at the tryouts. No matter how fast she ran, no matter how agile her jumps, no matter how long she stayed under water … she was always just some sort of joke to the judges.

Skeeter glanced over at Large Marvin. The obese Fraggle looked like he could barely walk without throwing a clot, but when she showed him skateboarding, he took to it like a fish to water. He amazed her with his athletic prowess, and she realized she had been judging him just as humans judged her.

She didn’t know whether she loved him or not, but he reminded her that being successful doesn’t depend on anyone else. If you have the skills, you have them. End of story.

A screen separated the pews from the stage. Skeeter and Large Marvin sat down behind Scooter. A hush fell over the chapel as Alanna, Claire’s mother, wearing a black knee-length skirt and a white long-sleeved blouse with thin black horizontal stripes running across it, stood in front of the screen and faced the pews. Claire, wearing a dark navy blue dress with lace, wiped away her tears with a tissue as she sat in between Fozzie and Animal, who scooted to make room for her and placed an arm around her shoulders tenderly.

Alanna cleared her throat, wiping away a tear. “My aunt was one of the greatest, most compassionate women in the world,” she began. An elderly human police chief silently entered the chapel and sat down, nodding. “It didn’t matter who you were or,” she chuckled, “what you were, my aunt always welcomed everyone into her apartment. She said that it was important to tend the seedlings well so they would grow up to become fruitful, and she was right,” she added, glancing around the room at the Muppets as Statler, Waldorf, and JP Grosse entered and sat down in the back on the right. “I had no idea when I was a kid what path my life would take, but getting the chance to make new friends of all stripes,” she cleared her throat as the audience chuckled briefly, “was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Bunsen, Beaker, and Bean joined the growing group in the pews. Alanna started to sob, and Kermit nodded and stood and joined her, placing an arm around her. The woman sat down in the pews as Kermit gulped and addressed the group.

Kermit inhaled, barely able to keep his voice from cracking. “When we were younger, we always just assumed that Nanny was merely a homemaker, but now that we’re older, we see that Nanny never ‘settled’. She was adventurous and ambitious, and appreciated any hair-brained scheme we kids could imagine. For her, raising several generations of neighborhood kids was akin to globe-trotting to find hidden treasure.” He looked away for a moment, sniffling, then returned his gaze to the others. “We grew up and went our different ways.” His voice became more heartfelt and hopeful. “It’s because of Nanny’s example I left the swamp and spent my early adult years gathering the team back together to chase dreams. She made us happy, and I wanted to make others happy, giving them a window into their dreams and helping people laugh through their nightmares. And the longer I searched, the more I found who wanted to join our little group,” he added as other humans and Muppets started showing up. Kermit smirked innocently. “Following dreams has given us all a home,” he told them, glancing at Skeeter, who blushed and looked away, “and it’s a home I think Nanny would be happy to see we’ve made.” He turned and looked at the screen and shrugged. Facing the audience, he nodded. “And I suppose I should introduce the musical number, as I never really seem to waiver from that responsibility for very long,” he chuckled. “And, while this group didn’t know Nanny very well, they wanted to do a musical tribute, and who am I to complain? Just don’t be shocked when the screen is removed. Apparently, one of our musicians is having some legal trouble and wasn’t able to make it today. Fortunately, I was able to call a favor, so the band can be complete. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen – The Electric Mayhem.” Kermit bowed as the screen was removed mechanically to reveal the Theater band – with a guest player.

Skeeter stared at the saxophone player. Usually, that balding old guy took the job, but this saxophone player was completely different. Zoot was skinny and calm to the point of being confused for dead sometimes. This one was bright and cheery and obese and already tapping his feet and moving his hips in preparation for the song.

Where had she seen him before?

The band all wore black as some part of their costumes. The rotund sax player wore a black tuxedo and actually was the most formal-looking of the entire bunch, his black hair smoothed down against his head.

Dr. Teeth raised his thick green fingers and started to jam in a fast tempo as the other band members started to play.

Floyd nodded as he began to sing, “You know that it would be untrue --.”

Janice tossed her long blonde hair back. “You know that I’d be, like, a liar --.”

The band sang in unison, “If I was to say to you: Girl, we couldn’t get much higher.”

Piggy leaned over to whisper to Fozzie. “Do they really think this is an appropriate song for a funeral?”

Fozzie shrugged and whispered back, “They said it was either this or My Heart Will Go On and that the other song would make us all die of old age.” Claire started to cry. Fozzie gasped and hugged her. “Omigosh, I’m soooo sorry!”

“Nanny, Baby, light my fire!” the group sang. “Nanny, Baby, light my fire! Take our dreams and send them … HIGHER!”

The saxophone player slid forward and wailed the entire bridge of the song with passion and dedication as the rest of the band nodded and grinned and tried to keep up.

“The time ta hesitate is through!” Dr. Teeth blared as his fingers pounded the keys of the piano.

“It’s all coming down to the wire!” Janice and Floyd belted out as they reached back with their guitars as though trying to pull up a falling airplane.

“What else do ya got to do?” the whole band sang. “So, jump right off that funeral pyre! Nanny, Baby, light my fire! Nanny, Baby, light my fire! Take our dreams and send them … HIGHEEEEERRRRRR!”

The band finished playing and the group took a few moments to digest the … interesting … song choice before applauding.

Rowlf and Scooter glanced at each other and smirked. Had Sam the Eagle been here, he’d have exploded from the audacity of it all.

Kermit glanced at Animal, who was bouncing up and down in the pew slightly, and laughed to himself with admiration. Such a hyper creature, Animal was. That he could sit in the pews and listen to his band play a rocking song without him without tearing the chapel to pieces spoke well for how far he’s come in the emotional control department. Whoever his meditation teacher is should get a raise.

Floyd had agreed to take in Animal after his mother and father split up. A Muppet humanoid and a Muppet monster just had too many issues, especially when Animal proved so difficult to raise. From what Kermit knew, his mother had dyed her fur and had a nose job and married a nice monster who joined the military. Still, Floyd couldn’t match Nanny’s amazing ability to calm Animal down. Floyd had to take some tips from pet trainers to subdue him. Nanny could just look at him and Baby Animal would be putty in her fingers.

She was a well-respected genius, that Nanny.

After the ceremony, the saxophonist bounded over to Kermit, but managed to restrain himself enough to pat the frog on the back tenderly. “I’m really, really, sorry, Kermit,” the Muppet humanoid said, in a voice less frog-like but similar to Kermit’s own.

Kermit nodded and patted him back. “Thanks. I appreciate you coming over and doing this for us.”

“Not a problem!” the musician announced gleefully.

Skeeter and Large Marvin joined the gang as they milled around in the chapel. Skeeter stared at the musician.

Ever the flirt, the Muppet saxophonist glomped Skeeter and squeezed her tightly. “I can’t believe I finally get to meet you!” he exclaimed.

Skeeter grunted as she tried to break free. After several seconds she succeeded and held out her hand. “Nice to meet you too, Nicky.”

“Ernie,” the musician chuckled.

Skeeter blushed and shrank an inch or two. “Sorry.”

Ernie shrugged, grinning. “It’s okay. Ever since that play came out, I’ve been meeting tons of new friends!” He glanced over at Large Marvin. “I see you do, too!” He flung a hand out. “I’m Ernie!”

The flabby Fraggle grinned and shook Ernie’s hand. “Large Marvin. Do you have any crackers?”

Skeeter elbowed him, aghast. “Marvin!”

“What?” Marvin asked innocently.

Ernie laughed. “Not a problem at all, Marvin! You’re a guy after my own heart! There’s a really neat place down the street. I take my buddy Bert there all the time! Maybe we should take everybody,” he suggested to Kermit. “Enjoying a good meal is a good way to end any celebration.”

Skeeter looked down.

Ernie patted her on the shoulder tenderly. “Hey, look … your nanny lived to see all of you become successful, right? Didn’t she say she enjoyed the time she spent with you as little children?”

Skeeter glanced away and rubbed her arm. “I didn’t get a chance to say good-bye,” she noted quietly.

Kermit cleared his throat. “Hey, Ernie? Maybe going to lunch is a good idea. Let’s round everybody up, shall we?”

Ernie nodded. He was a carefree sort, and never minded having the subject changed out from under him. “Sure!” he affirmed energetically. “I wanna know how you guys got permission anyway.”

Skeeter blanched.

Rowlf and Scooter hurried over and stood behind Skeeter.

Kermit looked at Ernie, his head tilting slightly in confusion. “Get permission for what?”

Ernie shrugged.

Rowlf coughed and tried to step on Ernie’s foot, but Ernie stepped away, missing the hint to shut up. “Why,” Ernie offered, “you know … helping your friend cross over to the other side.”

If Kermit’s eyes could bug out any more than they already did, they’d fall off his face entirely.

Piggy appeared behind Kermit. “What do you mean?” She glared at Skeeter. “Except for some people, we kept Nanny company in her last moments.”

Ernie looked at Gonzo. “But … Gonzo told me you guys --.”

Skeeter planted a hand over his mouth. “I think you’re confused, Ernie. Let’s just forget it and go to lunch.” She grabbed his arm and jerked him closer to her, whispering in his ear. “Are you crazy?” she hissed. “Chief Caruthers is still standing in this room!”

Ernie flashed a shocked look over his face. “Uh, y-yeah! I d-d-don’t know where my head is!” he stammered. Chuckling, he continued, “What I meant was, Gonzo told me you guys … uh … told me … you guys … um,” he snapped his fingers with inspiration, “told her about the chicken that crossed over to the other side!”

Kermit glanced at Skeeter, Scooter, and Rowlf. He happened to catch sight of Gonzo, who was muttering sadly to Fozzie across the room. His mouth had flung open and couldn’t close no matter how hard he tried. The wind had been knocked out of him. Rowlf, Scooter, and Gonzo had been the last to see her alive. Skeeter had refused to enter and Fozzie never even went to visit personally.

Is that why Skeeter and Fozzie had acted so depressed?

Had the others made plans he, and apparently Piggy, knew nothing about?

“Kermie?” Piggy asked quietly.

Rowlf stepped forward, separating Kermit and Piggy from Scooter and Skeeter. He stared at Kermit, with pain in his eyes. “You wouldn’t have done it, Kermit,” he said finally, glancing at Piggy often to see if she’d fling a fist or a shoe at him. “Nanny knew you, Piggy,” he continued, nodding towards Alanna, who was hugging Claire as the police chief talked to them, offering his condolences, “and Alanna could never accept her choice.”

Kermit shook his head numbly. “What kind of a choice is that?” he whispered.

Ernie glanced at Skeeter, suddenly aware of what his big fat mouth had done to his longtime friend. “I’m really sorry, guys. I thought everyone knew,” he told her, his voice cracking as he started to cry.

Scooter stepped forward, hanging his head at first, but then deciding to face his decision like an adult and raising his head to meet Kermit’s gaze. “She asked us, and she knew you valued living over everything else.”

Kermit fell to the floor, dazed. It was like Scooter had just ripped his chest out, stomped on it, let Carl munch on it for awhile, and flushed it down the toilet.

“Is everything alright?” Chief Caruthers asked as he approached, followed by Alanna and Claire, who looked on curiously. They had never seen Kermit look that way before.

Piggy glared at Skeeter as though no one else was present in the chapel. If looks could burn, the gofer-ette would have been cinders by now. Still …. Piggy shook her head slightly, not taking her eyes off of Scooter’s sister. “Yes, Chief Caruthers. Everything is fine,” she explained in a measured tone that sent chills down Skeeter’s spine … and Rowlf’s … and Scooter’s. Her voice betrayed a hint of a growl as she continued to glare at Skeeter. “We were just using our imaginations to imagine what it must feel like … to die.”

Marvin glanced at Skeeter, then at Ernie. He tapped Ernie on the shoulder. “Lunch?”

Ernie nodded as the two started to back out, with Ernie dragging Skeeter with him. “Yes, let’s.” He saluted. “Our condolences from Sesame Street,” he announced warily as the three of them quickly retreated out of the stone silent chapel.

 

[The Count]

*Oomph! *Gets hit with the whole weight of the last conversation. Nice reference to Hit the Lights! hidden in here. You must've gotten added inspiration from Put Down The Duckie. Good rewording of Light My Fire, dunno if you've ever heard the acoustic version by José Feliciano. As for Saying Goodbye, we often don't get a chance to say it in person... But we say it in our private thoughts, keeping the person's memories with us forever. So here's hoping Skeeter realizes that... Before the pig takes out her revenge.

Thanks for the update.
*Leaves flowers and a box of OR cookies you can either take or hand out to former roomies.

 

[RedPiggy]

Well, actually, though I have been listening quite heavily to Put Down the Duckie, Ernie's scene was always designed to be his version of Nicky's slip-up from Avenue Q. I had wondered how long to reveal the reality surrounding Nanny's death, but I figured now would be good a time as any. This is unlike most of my other fics, as this one is going to be rather long-lived, almost ongoing, until I decide to end it, which would be awhile. Skeeter's story is going to go through several phases and now that I'm out of the time constraints of Comeback King, which ends in spring 2012, I can have the freedom to spread this out as much as I want without ruining anything.

 

[The Count]

Heh... It's your universe to play around with. Actually, I finished a trio of fic series that all share similar timelines, yet stand apart as their own individual tales. So post away, we'll read and review whenever you get a breather from your schedule to update. J/K

 

[RedPiggy]

LOL, yeah, but I couldn't make the Avenue Q reference work as well with Zoot.

 

[RedPiggy]

CHAPTER FOUR

Later that afternoon, well after the funeral services had ended, Kermit sat on his three-legged stool at his desk backstage. Some fruit wandered behind him to the stage. Animal sadly sighed as he stepped out of a smoking door as Crazy Harry giggled relentlessly, carrying a detonator. The Swedish Chef walked onstage, dressed in army fatigues and body armor. Dr. Teeth and Floyd rushed out the back door at the sound of a purring engine. The Swedish Chef dashed back towards the rear exit as an angry throng of militant vegetables, armed with skewers and butcher knives, chased after him.

Kermit just stared at the papers on his desk. The writing was legible and huge, but he couldn’t see the words. He didn’t really want to. His friends … his friends had … had … murdered his idol.

No, he thought to himself, shaking his head, they didn’t murder her. They let her go.

At least, he was sure that’s what they told themselves.

He wanted to appreciate their point of view. He really did. He knew she wasn’t comfortable.

Still – how could a leader of dreams want to shatter them?

Whenever Kermit wanted to give up, everyone, including Nanny, had told him to stay the course, to continue despite all the hardships. Kermit had, over the years, become synonymous with the Hero. He would suffer whatever indignity to keep the show going, no matter what. He had become an inspiration to children and adults alike.

And here was the woman who helped start it all.

And she wanted to quit.

Kermit clenched his fist, biting his lower jaw. The others were so supportive of her decision to quit that they even helped her do it. Kermit glanced at his cellphone. One call would be all it took to punish them. Zoot’s problem with double-parking the Mayhem bus would pale in comparison to what would happen to these … sigh … murderers.

And yet the cellphone remained off.

He couldn’t do it. No matter how devastated he was, no matter how wrong he thought they were … could he really turn them in?

Floyd walked in with Zoot, who had a relieved look on his face. “Hey, Greenstuff … Zoot got our wheels back, man.”

Kermit just sat there.

Dr. Teeth followed and slapped Zoot on the back heartily. “Our wailer of soulful melodies has resuscitated our dream of getting from place to place without damaging our precious little lower extremity phalanges” he rambled, laughing.

Floyd stood next to Kermit, chuckling and holding out his hand. “You wouldn’t be able to compensate us, would ya, Greenstuff? I mean, five hundred dollars is big chunk outta our pie.”

Kermit jumped up, screaming at the top of his lungs. His arms flailed in the air. Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched the spectacle, as Kermit kicked the papers, his coffee cup, and random knick-knacks from the desk upon which he stood. “All you can think about is some stupid parking ticket? Does that even compare to having your best friends, some of whom you’ve known since you were a toddler, keep a secret about someone you loved more than many others in your entire life? Do you think I care about your problems when my entire way of life has just been shot out of a cannon --.”

Floyd chuckled despite the tantrum. He’d seen it all before. The frog would be fine as soon as he ran out of air. “You should talk to Gonzo, man. He’s the cannon expert.”

Kermit lunged at him, but Floyd stepped aside and Kermit nose-dived to the floor. He was about to scream at Floyd, but Sweetums lumbered up to him and bear-hugged him, easily holding on despite the amphibian’s tantrum.

“Need some help?” Sweetums asked the band gruffly.

Zoot glanced at Kermit, trembling slightly. “You talkin’ ‘bout us or him?”

Floyd sighed. “Man, he’s still goin’ at it --.”

“Stop talking as though I’m not here listening to your pseudo-hippy self-help speak!”

Floyd crossed his arms and glared at Kermit. “We dig the whole mournin’ thing, Greenstuff,” he retorted curtly. “We got the whole scoop from Miss Hamhocks and we think this right here,” he added, jabbing his index finger at Kermit, “is why your friends didn’t cut you in the deal. The fact everyone respects you has gone to your head an’ you think everyone just has to bow down ta your decisions. Now, once you get some air and get off your high horse, you can think of the pain it’s caused your friends to have to decide to keep you out of the loop because you’re a self-righteous busy-body who can’t wait to jump down their throats when they do something you don’t agree with. It’s not like they went up to your nanny an’ just slit her throat or nothin’. That fine ol’ lady asked them to help her out, an’ even she couldn’t trust you not to whine in front of her. Now you’ve got a girl who’s been here less than a couple of years, ready an’ willin’ ta skip town again because she’s afraid your wife is gonna smear her all over the back alley.” He shook his head. “But you’re too absorbed with how everyone should sympathize with you to figure out Gofer-ette done took to the hills. You guys keep raggin’ on her about leavin’, but you sure don’t know how to make an outcast feels welcome. All you wanna do is criticize her an’ then you get to act all indignant when she leaves.”

Kermit stopped struggling. Sweetums noticed and dropped him. The frog picked himself up, dusted himself off, glanced around at the spectators, at Floyd, and walked away silently.

<><><>

Skeeter, Ernie, and Large Marvin stood before a Muppet-sized hole in a brick wall in a dark alley.

“How many of those are there?” she asked the Fraggle.

Marvin shrugged. “I think there are,” he counted on his fingers, “twenty-four bazillion eighty-five.”

“Wow,” Ernie replied.

Skeeter glanced at Ernie. “You coming?”

Ernie shook his head slowly. “I like to go on all sorts of adventures – in my head,” he told her with a resigned tone. He turned to her and smiled. “The problem with leaving is that there are loved ones to leave behind. I can’t leave my friends and family on Sesame Street.”

Skeeter smirked and nodded. “I understand.” He glanced at him. “You think I’m doing the wrong thing?”

“Are you?” Ernie asked in reply.

Skeeter stared at the hole. “I guess … it needs to be done.”

Ernie tenderly placed an arm around her. “Then if it needs to be done, I guess you gotta do it, don’t you?” he asked, laughing that characteristic hissing laugh of his.

Skeeter hugged him back. “Thanks, Ernie. You’re a good friend.” She took Marvin by the hand and smiled. “C’mon, feet – Skeeter DeLeon, the nursery’s most famous explorer, is gonna take a shot at Skeeter Rock.”