first of all: hey, are you trans?
now that we're past that.
"biological sex" as a concept and genders being associated with genitalia is an idea brought about by colonialism. (so, people from the british isles that decided that the americas were theirs.) many cultures that are not ours do not conform to the two-gender model. some native cultures have five genders (one of the most recognizable being two-spirit, which each culture has its own name for); jewish culture has a term for gender ambiguity in any way you want to spin it (tumtum) and intersexuality (androgynos); muxe, a term used by the zapotec; and so on.
pronouns that are not he/him, she/her, they/them, and it/its have also existed for centuries; christine elderson coined ey/em pronouns in 1975, lindsay pronouns (ae/aer) came about in 1920, charles c. converse coined thon/thons pronouns in 1887... i'm sure it goes on and on as well.
gender is a construct in that many people adhere to it just for the sake of "fitting in." the concepts of "male" and "female" do not exist, and many, many people do not fit into either of those boxes. in fact, i would be safe to say that no one person fits into "male" the same way another person might. there is no such thing as a binary because of it.
however, there are people that do not fit into these assigned boxes; whether or not they figure this out based on their genitalia or what they want to do to their body does not matter. all that being trans requires is not being comfortable with the gender you were assigned at birth, in any way. all being trans is is not being cis. it's incongruence.
i know the experiences of many. i know the experience of an afab person who felt comfortable in their body, but not in the way they were perceived, not in the way they were referred to. i know the experience of a trans man who is so ridiculously dysphoric that he's not comfortable existing in the public eye. i know the experience of someone who doesn't really care, but prefers not to be referred to at all. i know the experience of someone whose gender is "skekekt the ornamentalist, but only when using he/him pronouns" ... hey, that one's me!
as a nonbinary trans-masculine person, i can confirm that being nonbinary is not a narcissistic powerplay. they do not diminish the struggles of binary trans people. and they most certainly are not invalid.
many people who identify with nonbinary genders are simply people who do not feel comfortable as a "man" or as a "woman." this can be for many reasons; however, one of the reasons i see and resonate with most is simply being dehumanized. they feel different, and there is nothing wrong with feeling or being different. in fact, there are many good things about being different. these people deserve respect, these people deserve kindness, and these people deserve to have their identities and pronouns respected. they are not hurting anyone, most certainly not by existing as themselves. if you feel hurt, that's your problem, and is absolutely something you need to analyze for yourself.
thanks!
-ciel, skek/skeks