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From Miss Piggy
and Josh Groban to Fozzie and Jay Leno,
discuss all aspects of "The
Muppets on Dancing with the Stars
night don't miss The Muppets return to "Dancing with the Stars" on
ABC beginning at 7 central, 8 eastern.
Their Own Words: Jim Henson
Discuss one of the
best Jim Henson documentaires ever. Featuring new interviews from the
Henson Family, Frank Oz, Dave Goelz, Carroll Spinney, Fran Brill and
more. Miss the show? Order
Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by MissMusical12, Oct 7, 2012.
Fer sure it does! Hahahahaha....I love those Zoot parts.
GUEST STAR: Dionne Warwick
STYLE: Early/Mid Season 4 (Between Linda Lavin and Lola Falana)
Scooter: Dionne Warwick! Oh Dionne! 15 seconds till curtain, Dionne.
Dionne: Hey thanks, Scooter. By the way, there's someone here that says he's waiting for an elevator. But there's no elevator.
Elevator Whatnot: No it's coming. It's just going down.
The sound of an elevator falling out of the sky approaches and Dionne quickly moves out of the way. The elevator hits the whatnot.
Dionne: -to Scooter- Is that elevator going up any time soon?
TRUMPET GAG: The elevator from the cold opening comes down on Gonzo. The elevator doors then open, with Gonzo inside.
Gonzo: Going up?
Kermit: Thank you, thank you and welcome again to the Muppet Show! Hey we're gonna have a terrific show for you tonight, because our guest star is that talented artist of the music world, Miss Dionne Warwick. All of tonight's musical numbers on the show are songs that have been sung by Miss Warwick. And.....
Miss Piggy: -peeking from behind the curtain- Pssssst! Kermie!
Kermit: Uhh yes, Piggy?
Miss Piggy: Moi is getting very impatient....introduce the number already!
Kermit: Uhh yes. "I Say A Little Prayer" right?
Miss Piggy: Kermie, I told you. I'm not doing "I Say A Little Prayer."
Kermit: Then what are you doing?
Miss Piggy: -dramatically- The Theme....From "Valley Of The Dolls."
Kermit: -checks clipboard- Wait a second, you took that number from Dionne! That was supposed be HER opening number!
Miss Piggy: -angrily- We swapped, frog! Now introduce me or I'll kick that butt of yours to China!
Kermit: Yeesh. Ummm, ladies and gentlemen, here singing the theme from that dramatic movie "The Valley Of The Dolls," and my favorite pig, Miss Piggy!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Theme from "Valley Of The Dolls", sung by Miss Piggy, in a striking robe, in a bedroom setting.
Waldorf: Yeesh, when did we stop feeling safe about ourselves?
Statler: When the pig came on and ruined the show!
Kermit: That was great out there, Piggy, just great!
Miss Piggy: Oooh thank you, mon capitan! -kisses Kermit's cheek- I'll be waiting in my dressing room if you need anything. -goes off to her dressing room-
Scooter: Hey, Kermit.
Kermit: Yes, yes, Scooter?
Scooter: You know how Dionne is doing "I Say A Little Prayer" now?
Scooter: Well, the backup dancers won't cooperate with the choreography.
Scooter: Some even have two left feet.
A whatnot with two left feet passes by.
Kermit: Scooter, what's going on exactly?
Scooter: They refuse to do the number. They quit.
Kermit: -gasp- Then who are we gonna use for Dionne's number?
A group of penguins go over to where Kermit and Scooter are.
Scooter: Don't worry, boss. These Penguin Dancers have agreed to replace the backup dancers.
Kermit: Scooter, do you realize we're using penguins as dancers?
Scooter: As long as they don't have two left feet. -one of the penguins falls down-
Kermit: Good grief. -to the penguins- Okay, you penguins, get onstage for your number. -the penguins waddle onstage- Where's Miss Warwick?
Dionne: -coming out of her dressing room- Yes, Kermit?
Kermit: Oh good. Listen, we have a little change of plans for this evening. Nothing too big.
Dionne: Does Miss Piggy wanna swap numbers with me again?
Kermit: No! No! It's not that. It's just your backup dancers are uhhh...are......
Dionne: Kermit, what happened to them?
Kermit:....They shuffled out.
Dionne: Then who are my backup dancers? -hears the penguins onstage- Penguins?
Scooter: Well, it's better than nothing.
Dionne: I suppose you're right. -goes onstage-
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here to give each of you a little prayer from herself......
Statler: Is it the prayer for us to leave this show?
Statler and Waldorf: Dohohohoho!
Kermit: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Dionne Warwick! YAAAAAAAY!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: I Say A Little Prayer, performed by Dionne and the penguins in a church setting.
MUPPET LABS: Bunsen invents a potion that could prevent people from having two left feet. But instead, when Beaker drinks the potion, Beaker has "two right feet."
UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: A House Is Not A Home, sung by Rowlf as repairmen are fixing the house he plays in.
Statler: If a house isn't a home....
Waldorf: Then this isn't our home, either!
BACKSTAGE (Dionne's Dressing Room):
Dionne is hanging out with the Penguins in her dressing room. She then feeds one of the penguins a fish. There's then a knock on the door.
Dionne: Come in.
Janice: Like, hi, Dionne!
Dionne: Hey, Janice.
Janice: Wow, like you have a lot of penguins in here.
Dionne: Well, they kinda needed a place to stay and so I let them stay here.
Janice: Fer sure. But don't they need to be like somewhere it's like cold and has tons of fish.
Dionne: Check the thermometer for yourself.
Janice: -checks thermometer and starts shivering- Burrr....like now it's rully cold in here.
Dionne: Oh that's no problem. Hal! Hal, can you get my friend Janice a coat here? She's shivering to death.
Hal the Penguin then goes off and gets Janice a coat and puts it on for her.
Janice: Wow, thanks Hal.
The penguins then chant "Number! Number! Number!"
Dionne: Alright, alright, I'll do a number for you guys.
Dionne: Janice, can you help me out here?
Janice: Fer sure.
MUSICAL NUMBER: The Windows Of The World, sung by Dionne, accompanied by Janice and three penguins (one on finger cymbals, one on Koto, and one on xylophone)
PIGS IN SPACE: Penguins invade the Swinetrek and they all bow down to Captain Link Hogthrob as their leader.
The Penguins are dragging off Link as Miss Piggy and Dr. Julius Strangepork follow right behind him.
Kermit: Penguins! Penguins! Penguins, make sure you put him down when you're done!
Scooter: Hey boss, I have good news and bad news.
Kermit: Good news first, Scooter.
Scooter: The back up dancers from tonight are not quitting the show.
Kermit: Oh good. But what happened to them tonight?
Scooter: They all had a case of "two left feet." But luckily, Bunsen gave them his potion.
Kermit: And what's the bad news?
Scooter: They all have two right feet now. They won't be on next week either....or the week after that...or the week after that. I'm not sure about the week after that, though.
Kermit: Oooh, good grief.
Scooter: And speaking of grief, isn't it time to introduce Dionne's closing number?
Kermit: Oh! You're right, Scooter! -goes onstage-
The penguin with the two left feet passes by, but trips again.
Scooter: How do so many people and penguins get two left feet?
Kermit: And now, once and gentlemen, to close tonight's show, it's time now we Walk On By our guest star Miss Dionne Warwick! YAAAAAAAY!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Walk On By, sung by Dionne as various Muppets partnered with Penguins walk by Dionne.
Kermit: Wasn't tonight a great show, folks? Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.
A Group Of Penguins: -come onstage- Awwwwwww.
Kermit: Hey, don't worry, you guys. You guys are our back up dancers....for the next 6 months.
Group of Penguins: Yaaaaaaaay!
Kermit: Anyways, before we go, let us say thank you to our very special guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Dionne Warwick!
Penguins and Kermit: YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!
Dionne: -comes onstage- Kermit, tonight was so much fun. And the penguins made it even cooler.
Kermit: What do you mean by cooler, Dionne?
Dionne: Well, the temperature dropped a few degrees here since they came.
Kermit: But isn't the weather outside frightful already?
Dionne: Yes, but the fire's so delightful.
Kermit: Uhhh, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Scooter, Miss Piggy and a bunch of penguins)
Statler: Waldorf, how are you feeling right now?
Waldorf: As cold as ice.
The two then freeze and become ice cubes.
Sorry. I had to rush this. Dinner was ready so I was in a hurry. Stay tuned for more outlines, though!
Good one! I love Dionne Warwick! This show was very penguiny (Is that a word? I doubt it, but meh). I could definitely see Kermit getting all scrunchy faced over the penguins' antics.
I wish penguiny was real word. I just really wanted to do an outline with penguins. That was the first thing that popped into my head when I started this outline.
Luved it! And I luve your icon! Whats it from?
My new one? "John Denver and The Muppets: A Christmas Together." The whole thing is one Youtube, if you wanna watch it.
I've been dying to do this one for a while! Also, do check out my latest oneshot, "A Night At The Opera" if you get the chance (It's got KermitxMiss Piggy and FloydxJanice). Enjoy this outline!
GUEST STAR: Olivia Newton-John
STYLE: Season 5
Pops is observing a milkshake he has nearby, when Olivia enters.
Pops: Oh, who are you?
Olivia: I'm Olivia Newton-John. I'm your guest star on The Muppet Show tonight.
Pops: Olivia Newton-John? Star of them movies like "Grease" and "Xanadu?"
Pops: Doesn't ring a bell.
Olivia takes out a bell from her pocket and rings it loudly. Pops then becomes startled and knocks the milkshake down on the floor.
Olivia: Now does it ring a bell?
Pops: If it makes my milkshake fall, then yes.
TRUMPET GAG: A rabbit pops out of Gonzo's trumpet.
Gonzo: -to the rabbit- Hey, do you believe in magic, too?
Kermit: Thank you, thank you. Hi ho and welcome again to The Muppet Show! And boy are you in for a treat tonight, folks!
Statler: The show's finally cancelled?
Statler: Then it's not a treat!
Statler and Waldorf: Dohohohohoho!
Kermit: -to audience- They always bring bad news. Anyways, our guest star tonight is that talented singer and actress, who never fails at making people "Hopelessly Devoted" to her, Miss Olivia Newton-John!
Kermit: Yes! But first, it's time to for a match in the boxing rink! A fight to the death, as one may say.
MUSICAL NUMBER: Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye, sung by pigs fighting in a boxing ring. Link Hogthrob is also one of them, but is knocked out quickly in the ring.
Waldorf: Na na na na!
Statler: Hey hey hey!
Both: You stink! Dohohohoho!
The pigs are carrying Link offstage.
Kermit: Hey, is Link going to be alright?
Pig: Nope. -goes off-
Kermit: Good grief.
Gonzo: Hey, Kermit. What's this lovesick thing that's going around?
Kermit: What do you mean, Gonzo?
Gonzo: I want some of it.
Kermit: Some of what?
Gonzo: Whatever Floyd's having.
Kermit: Gonzo, did you poison Floyd!?!?
Gonzo: Nope. He's been going gaga since you said Olivia Newton John was going to be on the show.
Gonzo: Yeah, he might as well be the president of her fan club. -laughs and goes off-
Kermit: Floyd! Floyd!
Floyd: -humming "Hopelessly Devoted To You", ignoring Kermit-
Floyd: Huh? What? Oh, hey my little green amigo. What's up?
Kermit: Gonzo just told me your lovesick.
Floyd: Lovesick? Me? Ha! Gonzo doesn't even know what he's doing or saying half the time.
Olivia: -comes out of dressing room- Oh, Kermit.
Floyd faints at the sight of Olivia. Olivia then rushes over to where Kermit is and where Floyd fainted.
Olivia: Is he alright?
Kermit: Yeah. He's just lovesick.
Kermit: It's a term we use around here meaning "overly in love to the point where your throwing up and fainting in front of people." For Floyd...he faints.
Olivia: Has he always been like that?
Kermit: Nope. Not since I told everyone you're going to be on the show.
Kermit: Hey, listen. Are you ready for your number, Olivia?
Olivia: Ready whenever you are.
Kermit: Oh good. At least someone isn't sick around here. -Olivia goes on stage-
Floyd: -wakes up from his faint- Ohhhhh. Man what just happened?
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, we take you to those golden days of the old cowboys in the west. And the lovely saloon girls and the drinks for only a coin. And our lovely guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Olivia Newton-John! YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Please Mr. Please, sung by Olivia in a country saloon setting dressed as a showgirl.
Waldorf: Oh that Olivia Newton-John is just terrific.
Statler: Umm...what did she sing about again?
Waldorf: I don't know....something about a postman?
BEAR ON PATROL: Patrol Bear arrests a Greaser whatnot, whom then offers him and The Police Chief an old car. They then break into singing Greased Lightning, but the Greaser whatnot soon escapes from Patrol Bear and the Chief being too caught up in the song.
UK SKETCH: NEWSFLASH:
Newsman: Here's a Muppet Newsflash! Dentists have been cracking down on their candy eating policies! They have now officially decided to pull all the teeth of those who have eaten any sort of candy, chocolate, taffy and tapioca in the past 12 hours when notified quick enough.
A dentist whatnot sneaks up behind the Newsman.
Newsman: And I now have that feeling that I'm being carefully and suspiciously watched by an anxious dentist.
Dentist: Open up and say "Ahhh!" -grabs the Newsman's mouth-
Floyd is gazing at his signed photo of Olivia Newton-John in Grease.
Floyd: Oh, Olivia. I'm helpless without ya, babe.
Kermit and Gonzo are watching over at him.
Gonzo: Yeesh. I was never like that when Madeline Kahn came here. Kermit, I tell you, it's the lovesickness. It spreads real easily.
Kermit: Who had it last week?
Gonzo: Ummmm....remember that one girl Floyd signed an autograph for last week?
Gonzo: She was lovesick with him. That's how he must've caught it. From the fan.
Kermit: How long does this lovesickness last till?
Gonzo: How should I know? I'm not a doctor. Ask someone who is. -goes off-
Kermit: -goes over to Floyd- Floyd, are you feeling okay?
Floyd: Never better, my amphibian friend.
Kermit: Well you seemed to be quite uhhh.....in love, there.
Floyd: -sigh- Olivia....
Kermit: Hey, what about your girlfriend?
Floyd: What girlfriend? I never had a girlfriend. -goes off to Olivia's dressing room-
Kermit: Yeesh. Good thing Janice is away this week.....or she'd rip one on him....
Zoot: -passing by- Big time.
BACKSTAGE (Olivia's Dressing Room):
Olivia is reading in her dressing room when there's a knock on the door.
Olivia: Kermit? Is that you?
Olivia: -not amused- Oh no. It's Romeo.
Floyd: It's actually Floyd, but who's counting?
Olivia: By all means, I could care less even if your name was Mud.
Floyd: -flirtaciously-You clever woman. -laughs-
Olivia: I didn't mean that as a compliment.
Floyd: Then you're gonna love this! Rowlf, get in here!
Rowlf: -pushing his piano into the dressing room- I'm doing the best I can, Floyd! I'm only one dog! I don't have nine lives like a cat.
Olivia: What...what is this all about?
Floyd: You good, Rowlf?
Rowlf: Whenever you are. -starts playing-
Floyd: I dedicate this one to you, Olivia.
MUSICAL NUMBER: I Honestly Love You, sung by Floyd serenading Olivia, accompanied by Rowlf. Olivia keeps making excuses throughout the song for Floyd to go away such as "I don't think I wanna know," "I honestly don't," and "Didn't Kermit say you had a girlfriend?"
PIGS IN SPACE: A drill sargent pig arrives on the Swinetrek and thinks automatically he's in charge (He even makes Captain Link Hogthrob do 500 push ups, which he can't even do one.) until First Mate Piggy karate chops the Drill Sargent Pig.
Statler: Boy does this show not know how to take charge like him.
Waldorf: If he was the host of this show, this show would be called "M*A*S*H*E*D Potatoes!"
Miss Piggy is still hitting the drill sargent pig.
Drill Sargent Pig: OW! OW! OW! OW!
Miss Piggy: -hitting him- NO ONE EVER BOSSES MOI AROUND! YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU JUST SAID!!!
Kermit: Good grief.
Scooter: Hey, Kermit, I found that Lovesick Antidote Dr. Bunsen Honeydew whipped up a few months ago. Do you think it'll cure Floyd of his obsessive love for Olivia?
Kermit: Scooter, at this point, anything's worth a shot.
Gonzo: Hold on a second!
Scooter: What's the matter, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Forget the antidote, I found an easier cure for him.
Kermit: Oh good. What does Floyd have to do?
Gonzo: He has to.......
Olivia: -in worry and rushing out of her dressing room- Kermit!
Kermit: Olivia, what's the matter?
Olivia: It's Floyd again. He wants to the last number with me DESPERATELY!
Gonzo: Oh come, Olivia. Your last number can't be that bad to do with him. He can do anything.
Kermit: -checks clipboard but then gasps-
Scooter: What's the matter, chief?
Kermit: I don't think Olivia's going to like this....
Olivia: What's the matter, Kermit?
Kermit: Your last number is.......-gulp-......"You're The One That I Want."
Olivia: -gasp- You wouldn't!
Kermit: Well...I kinda was supposed to do the last number with you, but I guess Floyd might have to do it now....because of his condition.
Floyd: -rushes over- Did I hear you're doing "You're The One That I Want" as the closing number?
Olivia: Unfortunately. -Floyd holds on to Olivia- -to Kermit- Introduce us, already. -goes onstage with Floyd-
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here to sing that rousing duet from "Grease," our very own, currently lovesick Floyd Pepper and our very special guest star, Miss Olivia Newton-John! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: You're The One That I Want (from Grease), sung by Olivia and Floyd. Towards the end of the song, a "fed up with Floyd" Olivia knocks Floyd out.
Kermit: Well folks, I guess we've all learned a valuable lesson tonight. Don't ever fall in love with anyone who'll knock you out in the end.
Gonzo: -rushes onstage- Hey, Kermit! Great news! Floyd's not lovesick anymore!
Kermit: That's terrific! What cured him?
Floyd: -comes onstage, with an ice pack- A blow to the face from Olivia Newton-John. Good thing my main squeeze wasn't here to see what happened tonight. And let me say right now, Jan, despite everything that happened tonight, let me just say....I HONESTLY Love YOU....not Olivia Newton-John.
Kermit: And speaking of her, let us now thank our very special guest star, Miss Olivia Newton-John! Yaaaaay!
Olivia: -comes onstage- Thank you, Kermit. -to Floyd- I'm glad you're feeling a lot better, Floyd. I'm sorry for knocking you out earlier.
Floyd: Hey no big, Olivia. At least I'm not lovesick anymore.
Olivia: Well...who is?
Link Hogthrob: -comes onstage, infected with lovesickness. singing- Hopelessly devoted to you.....
Olivia: Oh no.....here we go again....
Kermit: Umm...we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Gonzo, Floyd, Link Hogthrob, Scooter, and a few pigs from the opening number)
Waldorf: That Olivia Newton-John's a knockout!
Statler: Knock out, you say? -punches Waldorf off the balcony- You said to knock you out!
This was A LOT of fun to do. Even as a FloydxJanice fan, I would still enjoy this outline! Stay tuned for more outlines soon!
GUEST STAR: Nancy Sinatra
STYLE: Mid Season 4 (Between Kenny Rogers and Christopher Reeve)
Scooter: Nancy Sinatra! Oh Nancy Sinatra! 15 seconds till curtain, Nancy!
Nancy: -holding seashell- Scooter, I'm trying to hear the ocean with this shell that was given to me but I'm not getting anything.
Scooter: Oh let me try. -puts seashell close to his ear to hear ocean-
Nancy: Do you hear anything?
Scooter: It's saying something stupid.
Seashell: I love you, Nancy!
TRUMPET GAG: Beauregard accidentally knocks down a bucket of water and the water splashes Gonzo.
Kermit: Hi ho and welcome again to The Muppet Show, the only show in this neighborhood that has ran longer than "I Loathe Lizzie."
Lizzie: Oh yeah! I loathe you too, frog! -walks off-
Kermit: No wonder the show got cancelled. Everyone realized Lizzie's a Lizard. Anyways, our guest star tonight is that talented and extraordinary singer, Miss Nancy Sinatra!
Kermit: Yes! But first, here's a little discovery you might be quite intrigued in.....
MUSICAL NUMBER: Hello, Goodbye, sung by a whatnot explorer in a bat cave. A bat then bites the explorer near the end.
Waldorf: You guys just said hello!
Statler: We should leave and say goodbye!
Kermit: Okay, bats, nice number, nice number. Scooter, make sure you give Monty his daily fruit.
Scooter: You got it, chief!
Monty the Bat: -whining- Awwww, but I'm not a fruit bat. I'm a blood bat! -goes off with Scooter-
Miss Piggy: Kermie! Kermie!
Kermit: Uh, hello, Piggy.
Miss Piggy: I'd like you to have this....-gives him necklace-
Kermit: Oh....well, thank you, Piggy, I........
Miss Piggy: That'll be $25.
Kermit: $25....Piggy, why are you selling me your favorite necklace?
Miss Piggy: Kermie, I don't have any Go-Go Boots for the closing number. And that pair of Go-Go Boots in that lovely boutique nearby costs quite a bit.
Kermit: Piggy, that's no problem. We can take care of it. How much is it?
Miss Piggy: $9,999.....
Kermit: -gasp- What!?!?
Miss Piggy:.....and 99 cents. That's why moi has resulted to selling all of her beloved belongings in her dressing room and buying that pair of Go-Go Boots.
Gonzo: -calling from above- Hey, Miss Piggy. How much is that mirror in your dressing room?
Miss Piggy: For you, $100.
Gonzo: Where's a piggy bank when you need one? -goes off-
Kermit: Listen, I'll pay you that $25 as soon as I can, Piggy. But right now, I need to introduce Nancy for her number. -goes onstage-
Miss Piggy: Why would somebody write a song about boots and have moi pay so much for a pair?
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here she is, that talented singer and very beautiful woman she is.
Miss Piggy: -offstage- I HEARD THAT!
Kermit: Uhhh....here she is, Nancy Sinatra! YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Sugar Town, sung by Nancy in a "Candy Town"-esque setting. She is walking around alongside Sweetums, Doglion, and other monsters. One of the monsters eats one of the candy set pieces.
Statler: That number just made me a little bit hungry.
Waldorf: Yeah...I could go for something sweet right now. But my medication won't allow me.
Kermit: Nice job out there, Nancy.
Nancy: Thank you, Kermit.
Miss Piggy: Oh Nancy! Nancy!
Nancy: Hello, Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy: Hello, Nancy! Moi was just wondering if we could settle a trade of some sort.
Nancy: What trade?
Miss Piggy: How about I give you my entire makeup kit.......for....$999.
Nancy: Miss Piggy, I don't have that kind of money. And besides I have my own make up kit.
Miss Piggy: But moi would like to invite you to the dressing room liquidation that's going on for the evening.
Nancy: I'll think on that. -goes into dressing room-
Kermit: Okay, Vet's Hospital onstage! Vet's Hospital onstage!
Miss Piggy: Oooh. I almost forgot. -rushes to go onstage but trips. She then gets back up and rushes onstage-
VET'S HOSPITAL: The Gingerbread Man is the patient in Vet's Hospital. Dr. Bob is trying to resist eating it, but Nurse Janice kindly reminds him "Dogs can't eat sugar." To which Dr. Bob replies "You're right. It's our poison."
UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: All To Myself Alone, sung by Floyd, accompanied by Dr. Teeth and Zoot
BACKSTAGE (Miss Piggy's Dressing Room):
Various Muppets are in Miss Piggy's dressing room buying her belongings.
Miss Piggy: That's right. Right here. Right now. Moi is selling everything. -counting money- $9987, $9988, $9989, $9990! Just 10 more dollars and those Go-Go Boots will be moi's!
Nancy: -comes in- Miss Piggy, I.....wow. You sold a lot.
Miss Piggy: I know. Now I just need 10 more dollars for those Go-Go Boots.
Nancy: But you're selling everything.
Miss Piggy: That's the point. Money buys you everything.
Nancy: Except love.
Miss Piggy: Huh?
Nancy: If you love those boots so much, you'd let them be. I'll even give you one of mine.
Miss Piggy: Fat chance, Sinatra!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Can't Buy Me Love, sung by Nancy, Miss Piggy and other various Muppets in Miss Piggy's dressing room.
Newsman: Here is a Muppet Newsflash! The expensive, Paris made, leather, $9,999 and 99 cent pair of Go-Go Boots that have been sitting in the local boutique near the Muppet Theater and would be perfect for a closing number with Nancy Sinatra, have just been sold!
Miss Piggy: -rushes onstage- WHAT!!?!?!?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOLD!?!? I DIDN'T EVEN BUY THEM!
Newsman: But I just got word.......
Miss Piggy: HIIIIIYAAA! -karate chops Newsman-
Waldorf: Well, we know the pig won't be tripping onstage in Go-Go Boots.
Statler: She trips onstage all the time. That's she is. A natural tripper!
Miss Piggy: Kermie! This can't be true! The Go-Go Boots......they're.....they're......sold!
Kermit: Well, Piggy, there's nothing I can do about it. They're sold.
Miss Piggy: Can't you find out who bought them?
Miss Piggy: Oooh...and I gave everything I had up for those boots. Everything. Even Foo Foo.
Gonzo: Hey, thanks for selling me Foo Foo, Miss Piggy! I needed a dog for my new act anyways.
Miss Piggy: One second. -rushes upstairs, karate chops Gonzo, and retrieves Foo Foo- Ohhh, Foo Foo! Mommy will never give you up for Goo Goo Boots ever again! I promise!
Kermit: Well you got Foo Foo back......but you still don't have Go Go Boots for the closing number.
Miss Piggy: It doesn't matter. Don't tell her....but moi stole Nancy's Go Go Boots.
Nancy: -offscreen- KERMIT!!!!!
Miss Piggy: Must run! Toodle-oo! -goes onstage-
Nancy: Kermit, someone swiped my Go Go Boots for the last number!
Kermit: -gulp- I wonder who that could be?
Nancy: Oh well, I could....always....use heels.....-looks down, then back up- Or go barefoot. -goes onstage-
Kermit: Ummm, okay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, to close our show tonight, here's Miss Piggy and our guest star, Nancy Sinatra, performing that toe-tapping, high tapping, and should get you clapping, closing number! Here they are, Miss Piggy and Nancy Sinatra! YAAAAAAAY!
MUSICAL NUMBER: These Boots Are Made For Walking, sung by the still barefoot Nancy and Miss Piggy, whom has Nancy's Go Go Boots. Nancy then realizes that Miss Piggy took her Go Go Boots and fights Miss Piggy for the boots. Nancy becomes victorious and retrieves the Go Go Boots.
Kermit: And so concludes another Muppet Show. And boy are we glad no one walked out of this one. But before you all start walking away, let us thank our very special guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Nancy Sinatra! Yaaaaaaay!
Nancy: Thank you so much, Kermit. And look! I found my Go-Go Boots. I guess Miss Piggy was so envious that she had to steal them.
Miss Piggy: Oh shut it, Sinatra. I was not jealous. I was...curious.
Nancy: Yeah, you're curious alright.
Kermit: Okay, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Scooter and a couple of bats from the opening number)
Waldorf: One of these days, those boots are gonna walk all over us.
Statler: Let's hope it isn't today.
Suddenly, someone kicks Waldorf from behind and he falls off the balcony
Statler: That's what you get for doing shoe jokes! Ahahahahaha!
Ehhhhhhhhhh, this one was alright. Took a while because I had to find a song for the UK Sketch. But I hope you all enjoyed this one. More outlines soon to come!
great outline missmusical i have a question who perform these characters
Monty the Bat
and also which muppets appear in Miss Piggy's Dressing room buying her stuff
Seashell and Monty-Steve Whitmire
Whatnot Explorer-Jerry Nelson
Muppets in Miss Piggy's dressing room: Gonzo, Scooter, Link Hogthrob, a few members of Geri and the Atrics, a few rats, and a penguin
I love it! Shoe jokes, Ha! Histarical!
Hey guys! It's been forever since I've done an outline. So...yeah. Enjoy!
GUEST STAR: Michael Crawford (PRE-Phantom of The Opera, so don't expect "Music of The Night," okay?)
STYLE: Early Season 4 (Between John Denver and Dudley Moore)
Scooter: Michael Crawford! Oh Michael Crawford! 15 seconds till curtain, Mr. Crawford.
Michael: Well, thank you, Scooter.
Scooter: Say, how many lumps of sugar did you want with your tea, again?
Michael: Oh, just 3 or 4.
Marvin Suggs then goes over and hits Michael with his mallet five times.
Marvin Suggs: Oh! I've must've given you too many lumps!
TRUMPET GAG: A chandelier crashes on Gonzo before he can play his trumpet.
Kermit: Hi ho and welcome again to The Muppet Show, the only show on television where you can't weep at dramatic moments!
Waldorf: We only cry because everything on this show is NOT dramatic. It's just bad.
Kermit: Oh boy...anyways, our guest star tonight is that talented star of movies, stage and television, including the ever popular "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em," Mr. Michael Crawford!
Statler: My mother doesn't have it.
Waldorf: Nor does mine! And she's been dead for years!
Kermit: Will you two be quiet!?!? I'm trying to do an introduction here!
Statler: And they're not any good either, frog!
Statler and Waldorf: Dohohohohoho
Kermit: Yeesh, those old guys are heckling more than often tonight. Anyways, here to sing our opening number are a few little fine feathered friends of ours.....
MUSICAL NUMBER: Mockingbird (*In the style of James Taylor and Carly Simon), sung by two mockingbirds perched in a tree, singing to their baby.
Waldorf: I'm glad that mockingbird stopped singing. It's hurting my hearing aid.
Statler: Maybe you should've shut it off.
Waldorf: What? What did you say?
Statler: Shut it off!
Waldorf: Is there a pair of scissors anywhere?
Fozzie comes rushing to Kermit, wearing an elf hat.
Fozzie: Oh Kermit! Kermit!
Kermit: Oh yes, Fozzie?
Fozzie: Check out the cool elf hat I'm wearing.
Kermit: Fozzie.....why are you wearing that elf hat?
Fozzie: Oh well, it's almost Christmas, right?
Kermit: Fozzie...Fozzie, it's July. Christmas isn't for another 5 months.
Fozzie: Kermit, Kermit, Kermit. Haven't you ever heard the term "Christmas in July?"
Kermit: I didn't know Christmas was celebrated in July.
Fozzie: Well it can be. Right guys?
A bunch of elves then show up and scatter around Fozzie, chanting "Yeah!"
Kermit: Good grief. -goes onstage-
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, in this next number, our own Scooter is ready to hit the town, alongside our guest star, Mr. Michael Crawford! YAAAAAAAAY!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Put On Your Sunday Clothes (from Hello, Dolly!), lead by Michael and Scooter, alongside Miss Piggy (in the Dolly Levi role) and other Muppets and whatnots, in 1890 New York City (*the setting of Hello, Dolly!)
Waldorf: If that's what they wear on a Sunday, I'd hate to see what these folks wear on a Friday.
Statler: You should know. You've seen it.
Kermit: Hey, great job out there, Michael! Very well done!
Michael: Oh, thank you, Kermit. That crowd sure is pretty tough out there.
Kermit: -referring to Statler and Waldorf- Tell me about it.
Fozzie then comes rushing in.
Fozzie: They're coming! They're coming! They're coming!
Kermit: The British?
Michael: Ha ha ha, very funny.
Fozzie: No, Michael's here already.
Michael: Then who's coming, Fozzie?
Fozzie: The reindeer! Santa's reindeer are coming! Santa's coming! -rushes out-
Michael: Kermit, isn't it a little too early to be celebrating Christmas? I mean, it IS only July.
Kermit: That's what I said.
MUPPET LABS: Dr. Bunsen Honeydew creates a snowman maker, which creates a snowman that is impossible to melt. The snowman then becomes vicious and attacks Beaker.
UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: What's New, Pussycat?, sung by Rowlf singing to a cat, much to his despair. After he finishes, Rowlf says "Now that's something you'll never see again."
BACKSTAGE (Michael's Dressing Room):
Michael is reading a newspaper, when there's a knock on the door.
Michael: Come in.
Enter Swedish Chef, Animal and Beaker singing "Jingle Bells" and wearing elf hats.
Michael: Guys....did anybody tell you it's not Christmas? It's July.
Beaker: Mee mee mee mee mo mee mee.
Michael: Oh...not again with the Christmas In July thing. Can you guys sing something else.....not Christmasy?
Swedish Chef, Animal and Beaker then turn to each other to come up with an idea. A few moments later, they sing "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!"
Michael: Fellas! Look outside. Do you see snow on the ground?
Swedish Chef, Animal and Beaker then look out the window. A few moments later, they sing "Here Comes The Sun."
Michael: At least it doesn't have to do with Christmas.
VET'S HOSPITAL: A reindeer is the patient in Vet's Hospital. He's trying to convice Dr. Bob, Nurse Janice and Nurse Piggy that he's Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer. In the end, it turns out he has a blue nose instead of a red one.
Waldorf: I wonder what Santa would think of that reindeer.
Statler: I wonder what Santa would think of this show.
Reindeer: Santa! Santa, it's me, Rudolph! Where are you? These people are sick!
Rowlf: -still as Dr. Bob- You're sick. And it's my job to cure you! -goes off with the reindeer-
Kermit: Boy, people are really getting into the holiday spirit early.
Robin: Hey, Uncle Kermit. I hear Santa's coming early this year.
Kermit: Robin, it's only.....
Robin: Yeah but....Santa's coming! Santa's coming, Uncle Kermit! Oh boy! I'm gonna go set up the cookies and milk right now and get my stocking all set. -goes off-
Kermit: Uhh....uhhh Robin, not you, too! Oh boy.
Fozzie: -comes in, singing- Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...........
Kermit: Fozzie, this Christmas in July is getting totally out of control!
Fozzie: Oh, it's not out of control. Out of control is when Animal goes on the loose. Ah! Wocka wocka!
Kermit: Fozzie, no time for jokes! You have to tell everyone it's only July and it's NOT Christmas!
Fozzie: Too late for that, Kermit. We already have our closing number all decked out for Christmas and Santa's arrival.
Kermit: -freaking out- THAT CLOSING NUMBER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MICHAEL CRAWFORD'S CLOSING NUMBER!
Fozzie: Michael can join us, if he wants. Here, read this card. -gives Kermit card and goes onstage-
Kermit: Ummm....-reading from card- Ladies and gentlemen....a Christmas tribute in hopes of arrival for Santa Claus. As he will understand the true spirit of.....Christmas in July. Oh boy...
MUSICAL NUMBER: A Medley of Christmas Songs (Jingle Bells, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, Winter Wonderland, White Christmas), sung by Fozzie and a bunch of other Muppets (including Scooter, Robin, and Animal) in a Christmas house setting. Michael then comes down the chimney instead of Santa, with Robin saying "You're not Santa! You're Michael Crawford!" Michael then gives in on convincing the Muppets that it's not Christmas and joins along with them (along with Kermit) in the last two songs. The setting also changes to a snowy setting later on.
Kermit: And so concludes our holly jolly show, but before we go, let us thank our wonderful guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Michael Crawford! YAAAAAAY!
Michael: Thank you, Kermit. You know, everyone here convinced me tonight. I should start having Christmases in July all the time now.
Fozzie: Oh good! 'Cause you're invited to our "Halloween in August" next month.
Michael: Fozzie, does that really exist?
Fozzie: Does "Easter in November" exist?
Michael: I'm pretty sure that doesn't exist either.
Kermit: Okay, well, we'll see you next time on the Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Fozzie, Scooter, Animal, Beaker, Annie Sue, Beauregard, and the Reindeer)
Statler: Christmas in July?
Statler and Waldorf: BAH! HUMBUG!
And so ends the Muppets' Christmas in July episode. I didn't wanna do a straight forward Christmas episode. So that's why I settled on the Christmas in July thing. Anyways, Merry Christmas, Muppet Central, and keep watching for more outlines! (By the way, I just realized this is my first outline using Robin! Yaaaay!!)
ROBIN! FOZZIE! THE WHOLE GANG! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Wow! I got so excited that I couldn't stop... well, this outline was so cool. Like rully amazing! Now I am thinking, why does Christmas in July really exist, eh? Never mind, I was wrong to confuse you guys. Well, merry christmas MissMusical12.
great outline missmusical i have a question who perform these characters
The Reindeer in Vet's Hospital
and also which muppets appear in Put On Your Sunday Clothes Besides Michael,Scooter,and Piggy?
Mockingbirds- Louise Gold and Jerry Nelson
Elves- Steve Whitmire, Dave Goelz, Richard Hunt and Jerry Nelson
Reindeer- Jerry Nelson
Muppets in "Put On Your Sunday Clothes": Annie Sue, Lew Zealand, Beauregard, Janice, Zoot and other assorted whatnots (in time period clothing)
Christmas in July! Love it!
I got a request outline for you. Can you do a season five outline with Paul Frees? He did many voices from TV and cartoon like Ludwig Von Drake from Disney, Jerry from Tom and Jerry cartoon and my favorite one is Fluidman from the Impossibles (Tom and Jerry are Hanna Barbera cartoon just like the Impossibles) I want to see muppets females whatnots wanting Paul Frees autograph for the voice of Fluidman (They think he is Fluidman).
Here's a (very interesting choice, in my opinion) request from Muppetfifty888. Enjoy!
GUEST STAR: Paul Frees (*He's done everything in voice acting. From Boris Badenov to Ludwig von Drake to Fluidman (in The Impossibles) to Meowrice (in "Gay Purr-ee", one of my favorite movies, with Judy Garland). The reason I say this is an interesting choice for a guest star is because I do have a feeling he barely makes public appearances let alone make onscreen appearances. But, then again, I think Jim Henson and the producers would've found a way to convince him to come on the show.)
STYLE: Early Season 5 (Between James Coburn and Debbie Harry)
Pops is knitting something on his desk, when Paul enters (in a royal kingly attire)
Pops: Oh, who are you?
Paul: -with a British accent- I am Sir Hickory Dock, The Second.
Pops: What happened to the first?
Paul: Well, he ran up the Big Ben. Anyways, I come to inform you that your guest star is here......but not here, here.
Pops: Not here here?
Paul: Here here, good sir.
Pops: Well if he's not here here, then where is he?
Paul: -turns to camera, breaking out of character- Incognito. -winks-
TRUMPET GAG: Gonzo blows his trumpet so hard, it slips out of his hands on knocks someone on the head.
Gonzo: My bad!
Kermit: Thank you, thank you. Hi ho and welcome again to the Muppet Show! And tonight's show is going to be extra spectacular, because our guest star is that talented voice actor of many timeless characters, Mr. Paul Frees!
Kermit: Yes. But first, come now and take a trip to the exquisite island of Bali Ha'i!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Bali Ha'i (from South Pacific), sung by Miss Piggy in a tropical island setting. However, a thunderstorm and volcanic eruption interrupt her number.
Statler: I don't think we should visit that island anytime soon.
Waldorf: Why not?
Statler: It'll probably be infested with hogs.
Kermit: Piggy, are you alright?
Miss Piggy: -angrily- Whoever was working on the special effects SHOULD NOT be raining on my parade!!!!!
Gonzo: -rushes in- Wow! Weren't the volcano, tidal wave and thunderstorm just terrific in that last number?
Miss Piggy: -gasp- YOU! HIIIIIIIIIYA! -karate chops Gonzo and then goes off-
Kermit: Note to self, never leave Gonzo or Crazy Harry in charge of special effects.
Scooter: Hey, Kermit, I heard that Fluidman is here tonight.
Kermit: Fluidman? Who's Fluidman?
Scooter: One of my favorite cartoon superheros. Oh he's just amazing! And the best part is, he, and the other Impossibles are rock musicians!
Scooter: Oh where is he? I'm dying to get his autograph!
Kermit: Ummm....in the utility closet.
Scooter: What would he be doing there?
Scooter: Good point. -goes off-
Kermit: And now, for all of you science fiction fans out there..........
Scooter: -offscreen- Yeah! Science fiction fans! Wooo!
Kermit: Oh boy....here is our Muppet Salute to Science fiction, with our version of the treacherous....War of The Worlds.
SKETCH: Paul (doing an Orson Welles-ish voice) narrates the Muppets' version of "The War of The Worlds." Included in this is Link Hogthrob, Gonzo, Sam Eagle and Annie Sue. Ending this tribute, the gang sings Science Fiction Double Feature (from The Rocky Horror Show)
Waldorf: No wonder the War of the Worlds was treacherous.
Statler: Yeah. The show is bad. That's why that other world is against us.
Kermit: Okay, I don't totally understand science fiction to well but great job.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Oh, hello, Kermit. Fine day, isn't it?
Beaker: Me me me me.
Kermit: Uhhh, hello Bunsen, Beaker...uhh what can I do for you guys.
Dr. Honeydew: Well, we hear that one of the greatest scientists of all time is on this show tonight. And Beaker here is extremely ecstatic about it.
Beaker: Me me me me!
Kermit: What scientist are you talking about, Bunsen?
Dr. Honeydew: Dr. Ludwig von Drake.
Kermit: -widens eyes and turns to camera- Yeesh.
Dr. Honeydew: Oh the many scientific secrets we shall share when we meet. Where could he be right this moment?
Kermit:.....Uhhh....the utility closet. Going over...science stuff.
Dr. Honeydew: What an excellent location. Come, Beaky, our hero awaits.
Beaker: Me me mo me me mo me! -goes off with Bunsen-
Kermit: Yeesh, when is everyone going to realize that they are just fictional characters? -shrugs- Well, they're going to realize it one way or another.
VET'S HOSPITAL: Annie Sue is the patient in Vet's Hospital. Nurse Piggy grows jealous over that fact that Annie Sue is "hogging her spotlight," but Dr. Bob says that Nurse Piggy always hogs the spotlight.
UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: We Have All The Time In The World, sung and performed on trumpet by Lips (*Yes. Let's give Lips a number. A singing number), also accompanied by Floyd and Janice.
Floyd: Hey, my green little swamp friend.
Kermit: Please don't tell me......
Floyd: Tell you what?
Floyd: What? Anyways, where's George Harrison at? You said you booked him tonight on the show.
Kermit bangs his head on his desk a couple times.
Kermit: -with his head still down on the desk; pointing left- Check the utility closet.
Floyd: Ahhh, rehearsing the last number I see. Gotcha! -laughs and goes off-
Kermit: -looks up- Is there somebody up there that understands my situation?
Newsman: Here's a Muppet News Flash! "Red flavored ice pops have been banned on store shelves for its likeliness to be extremely hot. The red flavored ice pop is made of the most natural hot and spicy ingredients from Mexico, Arizona, and the Arabian Desert. It is 99.9% accurate that the person who eats the ice pop will burn their insides."
Ice Cream Man: Ice Pop?
Newsman: Sure. -takes ice pop and eats it, but passes out from it's hotness and spiciness-
Ice Cream Man: Oops. I must've given him the Hot Pop.
Scooter, Dr. Honeydew and Beaker, Floyd all meet by the utility closet.
Scooter: What are you all doing here?
Floyd: What am I doin' here? What are YOU all doing here?
Dr. Honeydew: I believe the correct question is "What are all of YOU doing here?"
Beaker: Me me mo me mo!?!?!?
Scooter: I'm meeting Fluidman.
Floyd: No way, Scoot-ey! George Harrison is right behind that utility closet door.
Dr. Honeydew: Well George Harrison is not in there. It's the great and all-geniune Dr. Ludwig von Drake.
Beaker: -tugging Dr. Honeydew's shoulder- Me me! Me me. -points to door- Me me me mo me.
Dr. Honeydew: Excellent idea, Beaky! Why don't we check behind the door and see who it really is?
Scooter: Beaker's got a point there.
Floyd: Yeah, why didn't I think of that.
Dr. Honeydew: Alright. On the count of three, we open the door. Ready? One.....
Beaker opens the utility closet door, but no one is in there.
Scooter: There's no one in there.
Floyd: Swamp Breath must've tricked us!
Paul is passing by when he sees the four standing by the closet.
Paul: Oh, hello, boys.
Scooter, Floyd, Dr. Honeydew and Beaker all stare at Paul in shock.
Paul: What's the matter?
Scooter: Who are you?
Paul: Your guest star. Paul Frees.
Scooter: Not Fluidman?
Paul: But that was me.
Dr. Honeydew: Not Ludwig von Drake?
Paul: That was also me.
Floyd: Not George Harrison?
Paul:....That's NOT me.
Floyd: Oh. I should've known better.
Paul: The things is, boys, even though those characters aren't real, the fact that they seem real to you is what matters most.......except George Harrison. That's actually a real person. It's your belief that keeps that character alive.
Dr. Honeydew: Well....I never thought of it that way before.
Beaker: Me me me me me.
MUSICAL NUMBER: Brotherhood of Man, sung by Paul, Scooter, Floyd, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and Beaker. They are later joined by other Muppets (including Gonzo, Rowlf, Robin and Link Hogthrob.)
Kermit: And so concludes another exciting episode, but before we go, let us give a very very big thank you to our guest star, the talented and wonderful Mr. Paul Frees! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Paul: Thank you very very much, Kermit.
Kermit: Hey listen, how were you able to convince those guys that your characters weren't real?
Paul: But, Kermit, George Harrison is real.
Paul: AND John Lennon.
Floyd: -rushes onstage- You were John AND George!?!?!? Have mercy!
Kermit: Okay, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Floyd, Scooter, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Beaker, Link Hogthrob, and Miss Piggy)
Statler: If he's really the man of a thousand voices......
Waldorf: Then that must make us the men of a million performances!
A random pig then comes onto the balcony and goes in between Statler and Waldorf.
Pig: Di di di di di di di That's all, folks!
Statler and Waldorf: Good! Dohohohohoho!
This one has to be my most my challenging outline yet. But I do enjoy a good challenge. I'm sorry, Muppetfifty888, if it wasn't exactly like you wanted it to be. I did my best with this one. I was a little unsure about things, but, hey, it is what it is. More outlines to come, folks!
Separate names with a comma.