Fan Fic - And what is on the other side...?

Beauregard

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2002
Messages
19,240
Reaction score
1,239
And here is a preveiw of my next story, in the form of a trailer....not sure if it works as a trailer...but, anyway...

Black. Darkness.

Narator: "Gonzo's life hit an all time low..."

Flash. Gonzo walks with a guitar strapped to his back, its dark, its cold. Flash. Gonzo throws a brick. The brick splashes down in a pond.

Gonzo: "Nooo-oo! I shouldn't have doen that. Come back. Come back.

Flash. Gonzo rises from the pond, shivering in the dark. His hands are empty.

Narrator: "Until..."

Kermit stands by a bench.

Kermit: It's not that bad.

Narrator: ...he met kermit and his life was changed forever.

*music starts*

Gonzo bursts into a night-club.

Gonzo: "I'm not going to be this way any more!"

*pause*

Bunsen: Well that's surely good to know.
Beaker: Mou, mou.

*music*

Gonzo: *standing on a motor-bike seat while riding* Whahooooo! *Miss Piggy drives past him on a motor bike* Whaha, oops.... *the bike goes wobbling without him...*

Cut to:

Fozzie Bear stands in a police lineup. Fozzie sits in a jail. Fozzie opens a wallet, and stares at a photo of Kermit.

Cut to:

Bar. Late.

Johnny: Break out the drinks, shall we.
Sal: When Johnny sys break out the drinks, start breaking.

Black.

Narrator: The world is changed...nothing is the same.

Flash. Camera spins around Beaker. Flash. Gonzo starts running. Flash. Scooter is unlocking a cage. He has black fingernails.Flash. Miss Piggy grabs Gonzo's nose. Flash. Doc Hopper hits the Swedish Chef. Flash.

Miss Piggy: I love you!

Flash. Black.
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
31,239
Reaction score
2,919
So... Do you think Lisa will be able to speak after reading that last chapter?
Got a bit muddled with the dialogue at the end, but I think I understood it. And it's a nice touch of bringing the story back to the beginning with a twist at the end... But it seems just a smidge unresolved. If that was your intent, then OK. But seems to me there should be some sense of closure in bringing Robin back to the MBH, talk to Rowlf and Bo both and then agree to whatever it is they agree to between themselves giving the story a sense of circular closure.

Just a suggestion though, it's pretty much OK the way it is and I'll be the first to thank you for such a great story Bo.
And looking forward to see if this become the first in the series from your colorful pen.
 

Beauregard

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2002
Messages
19,240
Reaction score
1,239
Where was it you got muddled? In the Rainbow talking bit? If so, that was purposefully obscure.

I too did not like that it ended without proper closure, however, I thought it best that the Rainbow return them without their knowedge of the events. I think it would have been to hard for them all to remember it all, too hard on them. However, Robin and Beau have this secret to share, and they both knew it was totally real even if the others assue it were some kind of dream.

Usually I dispise stories that end in a "dream" way, but I felt this one had to, since the whoel story had an air of dream to it.

Also, I may include later a deleted scene with Beauhoth in Reanbu.
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
31,239
Reaction score
2,919
No. What got me muddled was the very end with Rowlf and Beauregard. The dream ending's OK by me, it does fit the story's feel perfectly even if the majority of the Muppets have this shadow of doubt clouding their minds as to the events.

The ending's a little off cause I thought even if the others don't know, Bo and Robin do and that's OK. Was thinking they'd get together in some sort of last scene and agree that this was their secret to share. Just that sort of scene lends an air of closure that helps finish the story, setting us up for Book 2 of your Rainbow Collection, Visions, But Only Illusions.
 

Beauregard

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2002
Messages
19,240
Reaction score
1,239
Ahhh! I see the problem. I shall go and atempt to give it a little polish while my Edit function is still an option. brb
 

Beauregard

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2002
Messages
19,240
Reaction score
1,239
Ok. The last section has been edited now. Volla! A littler better perhaps.
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
31,239
Reaction score
2,919
OK... a bit better indeed.
So... Do both Robin and Bo have each one of the wooden hearts? Or do they each have the same wooden heart? Or was it that Robin took the one he found in his dressing gown and put it on Bo's bed? Or was it even Robin who found the heart in his dressing gown?
Things you'd think would be simple lead to a million questions.

As for the end bit of dialogue... Rowlf's the one who says: "But I know who does" and "Because, Robin was there too."
But is it Bo who's saying: "Really? Who? How? How does he know?"
That's what's confusing me a bit with the ending of the story.

But with Robin and Bo and the hearts connected with a foggy memory in Rowlf's mind... That helps tie it in a pretty rain-bow. At least, it's an end now worthy of simple understanding and be-fitting this grand story.
 

Beauregard

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2002
Messages
19,240
Reaction score
1,239
Robin has a wooden heart, given to him by the rainbow in the time that the rainbow transported them all home (delted scene if you wish for explaination's sake) And Bo's heart ws the Heart of Life.
 

The Count

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
31,239
Reaction score
2,919
Got it. So...

Should we start nagging for Book 2 to be posted now? Just thought I'd get a jump on that before Lisa started up.
Heh, heh, heh.

Don't worry Bo, just post when you can... No worries mon.
And thanks for the story, a bo-tiful thing it was.
 
Top