Chapter Two: Realm Zone – 1995 (Before Temporal Displacement)
Darkness – that was all Joanie could make out after the flash from the chamber. She felt as if she were placed in a completely different one at the moment, only she could not move a muscle in her body or even feel anything. It was a very frightening sensation; she couldn’t tell if she was alive or dead. And as much as she wanted to scream out, she couldn’t feel herself doing that either. What was going on?
Then her question seemed to have been answered (somewhat), when she heard muffled voices – one was from a young boy (she guessed he was about six years old) and his mother.
“Andy! I’ve got a surprise for you!”
“Okay, Mom. Be right down.”
“Alright! But don’t take too long!”
A light suddenly emerged before Joanie’s eyes, overshadowing the darkness that had shrouded her. She would’ve shielded her eyes from it, with her hands or eyelids. But she surprisingly found herself unable to. It was also a surprise that her retinas weren’t even affected by it in any way, especially with the absence of her eyeglasses (where were they?). However, the greatest shocker of them all was the gigantic human hand that reached down and grabbed her, pulling her “tiny” body out from what appeared to have been a chest.
Joanie was suddenly face-to-face with the six-year-old boy named Andy, who she heard from inside the chest. He was quite adorable to her, regardless of the fact that he was ten times bigger than she was. Smiling at her for a second, he set her down upright by the foot of his bed, while he returned his focus to the inside of his toy chest, which had a bit of a cowboy theme on it. As his attention was there, Joanie could see the room she was suddenly in; it was the bedroom of a child, complete with cloud wallpaper that gave the impression of a sky and drawings done in crayon of a cowboy figure hung throughout.
That’s when Joanie heard a baby cooing and realized that this wasn’t just Andy’s bedroom, but one that he shared with his baby brother or sister as well. She wished that she could turn her head to clarify the gender of the child, but had great difficult trying to do it. Her head was only pointing in one direction, and that was straight ahead to where Andy was pulling out toys from his chest. Watching him perform this activity, it dawned upon Joanie why she had appeared to have lost all motion function in her body – she…was…A TOY!
How the heck could this have happened to me? Is this some sort of joke? What were Bunsen and Beaker doing in that basement?
One-by-one, Joanie could see each of Andy’s other toys: a Mr. Potato Head doll, a ceramic piggy bank, a porcelain figurine of Bo Peep, a slinky toy modeled after a dog, a plastic tyrannosaurus rex, and – last but not least – a pull-string cowboy doll. Andy greeted the pull-string cowboy in a way that could only be described as if he was acknowledging a real person. “Rise and shine, Woody! There’s a town that needs saving today!”
He set Woody down beside the toy chest and commenced in pulling out a few more toys, before he closed the chest shut and gathered all of the other ones (including Joanie) together. Andy carried them over to a row of moving boxes lying on the floor, drawn up in crayon to look like a miniature western town. One of them had an illustration done by Andy himself of Mr. Potato Head on a “wanted” poster taped to it. Joanie could only guess what kind of scene this was going to be, as he placed her and a few other toys together in front of a “bank” box.
Taking Mr. Potato Head, he held him over in front of the bank with plastic toy guns held in his hands and pointed at Joanie and the other toys. “Alright, everyone! This is a stick-up! Don’t anybody move! Now empty that safe!” He was imitating Mr. Potato Head’s voice in a devilish way, which Joanie admitted had the makings of a talented actor. Andy picked up the piggy bank with his other free hand and emptied out a pile of coins over the floor in front of Mr. Potato Head. “Ooh! Money! Money! Money!”
Andy brought Bo Peep into the scene and imitated her voice in a high-pitched, feminine tone. “Stop it! Stop it, you mean old potato!”
“Quiet, Bo Peep…or your sheep get run over!” He had Mr. Potato Head threaten her in such a “violent” way, clearly making him the villain of this performance.
The porcelain sheep that accompanied the Bo Peep figurine were placed upon the center of a
Hot Wheels track loop. “Heeelp! BAAAA! Heeelp us!”
“Oh, no! Not my sheep! Somebody do something!”
Andy suddenly brought Woody into the picture, positioning him opposite of Mr. Potato Head and pulling the ring in the center of Woody’s back. An electronic voice then emerged from within the toy that said, “Reach for the sky!”
“Oh, no! Sheriff Woody!”
“I’m here to stop you, One-Eyed Bart.”
Andy pulled out one of Mr. Potato Head’s eyes, giving him the appearance of a one-eyed bandit (like his character). “Doh! How’d you know it was me?”
“Are you gonna come quietly?”
“You can’t touch me, Sheriff! I brought my attack dog with a built-in force field!” He placed the “Slinky Dog” in front of Mr. Potato Head and stretched his slinky mid-section out.
“Well, I brought my dinosaur, who eats force field dogs!” Following that line from Woody, he brought out the plastic T-Rex toy and had him stomp over the Slinky Dog, “defeating” him. “You’re goin’ to jail, Bart!” Picking up Mr. Potato Head, he placed him in the crib of his one-year-old
sister, working as a “jail” (even with a crayon-written cardboard sign taped to bars showing that it was). And, as if on cue, Andy’s sister came in and picked him up, sucking on him and pounding the toy repeatedly against the rail of her crib, which resulted in him loosing some parts.
Caring less how his sister was ruining his toy, Andy put on a cowboy hat of his own and picked up Woody, smiling at his plastic face. “You saved the day again, Woody!”
Once again, he pulled on his string and Woody responded in his electronic voice, “You’re my favorite deputy!”
Joanie watched with interest as Andy played with Woody in such a zealous manner that it could only be described as a boy playing with his best friend. It didn’t matter whether that friend was an inanimate object or not; Andy treated him as such, and it really touched Joanie’s heart (that was, if she still had one). She never owned a toy that she loved as much as Andy loved Woody. The playtime was taken outside of the room, leaving Joanie and the other toys to witness the “destruction” of one Mr. Potato Head at the hands of the baby girl.
While standing in a room that was filled only with the excitable cheers of a baby, Joanie began to wonder just exactly how she got into this mess, becoming a twelve-inch tall toy in a sort-of “cartoonish” type of environment. The only explanation for it could’ve come from that new invention she and everyone else at the Muppet Theater heard Bunsen and Beaker were working on. Not too many details were revealed from the two Muppet scientists about it other than it could
only be invented in the basement area. It would appear at that very second that Joanie was getting a firsthand experience of what the invention was capable of doing. The only question that remained was: how on earth were Bunsen and Beaker going to get her out of this?
After what felt like a long time, Andy and Woody returned to the room, approaching the crib of his baby sister. He tipped Woody’s hat to her and said, “Howdy, Little Lady!” From there, he went to his bed, which had western-themed bed sheets donned over it, and placed Woody onto it. Pulling his string one last time, he made Woody say, “Somebody’s poisoned the waterhole!”
Walking up to his sister’s crib once again, Andy picked her up and walked out of the room. Before leaving, he gave one parting comment to his favorite toy, “See ya later, Woody.”
With Andy and his sister’s departure from the room, everything fell completely silent. Joanie always wondered what the life of a toy was like, and she was finding out from just standing there – motionless – in the middle of the play set that Andy made. Needless to say, it was quite boring for her. She already desired to escape from this nightmare and return to reality.
That was until she heard Woody talking (outside of his voice box) and saw him actually moving (without the aid of Andy) to the side of the bed. He said to Joanie and all of the toys, “Okay, everybody. Coast is clear.”
And with that, the bedroom suddenly came alive, with toys emerging from the toy box, the closet, the shelves, and in other places and engaging in a flurry of activity. Even Joanie suddenly felt herself coming to life again, moving all of her limbs and her face; but she still couldn’t
feel herself doing all of it. She felt so synthetic, like a
real toy; and as freaky as it was to her, it was also enlightening in a way. Of course, regaining her movement again, she wondered if she could possibly get some answers as to where she was and how she could get out.
Before she started walking forward, she was suddenly confronted by the T-Rex toy as he asked her, “Do you think Andy made me scary enough? Be honest, please. Was I scary?”
Joanie wasn’t entirely sure of how to respond. So she just smiled and told him, “Yeah…you were like Godzilla to us.” She gestured a thumb up and added, “Way to go, Rex.”
“Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” He took her plastic hand and shook it so feverishly that Joanie almost felt it come off her body…
literally. “You don’t know how much that means coming from you, Princess!”
As he walked off excitedly, Joanie gazed at him in confusion.
Did he just call me ‘princess’? She became very intrigued of exactly what kind of toy she became, looking down at herself and seeing how she was wearing some type of white dress that looked very familiar to her. When she started to get an idea, she reached up at her hair and felt the “buns” at the opposite sides of her head. She closed her eyes real tight and thought in despair,
Oh, man! I’ve become a Princess Leia doll!
“Is there something wrong, Princess?” She heard someone address her, and she opened her eyes to see Woody next to her, looking a little concerned.
“Uh…n-no…everything’s fine.”
You liar! Everything is NOT fine! You’re a toy for cryin’ out loud!
Woody seemed a bit relieved. “Well, that’s good. The last thing we need is
more bad news.”
“Bad news?” A voice with a country accent exclaimed, and Woody realized all too late that it came from Slinky Dog, who was passing right by while he was conversing with Joanie.
All of the toys in the area suddenly fell silent, hearing Slinky’s alarmed voice. Woody then whispered to the toy, “Slink, just gather everyone up for staff meeting and be happy.”
“Got it,” acknowledged Slinky, who began shuffling off, much to Woody’s chagrin.
“Be
happy!” Woody demanded, and Slinky faked happiness as hard as he could, even going as far as laughing hysterically.
Panic began to come over Joanie, and she was heavily anxious to get out from wherever she was, worried about her mother and friends. She must’ve been pretty worried as she even heard Robin’s voice addressing her. “Joanie! Joanie!”
However, it was
not her imagination. Robin was
actually there, standing somewhere very close. She turned her head and noticed him caught under the lid of the toy box. “Robin?” Excited and surprised to see him all at once, she quickly went to his aid and lifted the lid off his body, allowing him to clear from the box and join everyone in the “outside world.” Joanie noticed that he was wearing his “Frog Scout” uniform and had a very action figure-like appearance. “You poor thing. Are you okay?”
“I am now that you’d rescued me,” he said, before gazing around at the bizarre scene in front of him. “Joanie, where are we? Is this some sort of dream?”
Joanie shrugged and said, “I don’t know. But it’s got to be some result of Bunsen’s newest invention. One minute, I was trapped in some sort of chamber, and then the next…I’m in some weird remake of
Babes in Toyland.”
Robin looked up and down at her in confusion. “Nice costume. Who’re you supposed to be?”
“A character from that space movie you and I were going to see before all of
this happened,” she answered with a sigh, before noticing the way he was dressed. “What about you? How come you’re in your Frog Scout uniform?”
The tiny frog shook his head and remarked, “I’m not sure. The last thing I thought about when I was trapped inside the chamber myself was the day Uncle Kermit and I went on that Frog Scout excursion a year ago. It was the only thing that kept me calm before I ended up here.”
Listening to him, Joanie realized the same thing happened with her, only she thought about seeing that sci-fi space flick for the first time recently. She enlightened her friend with a scientific theory, “The invention must’ve recognized our thoughts and decided on what type of beings we would become in this…place.”
Joanie and Robin gazed around at the area in awe and confusion, still wondering where they possibly were. Was it really some sort of dream? Or was it some type of simulation? If it was indeed the latter, then it certainly felt beyond realistic to them. Nothing in science could ever create whatever this place was – unless it came from Bunsen Honeydew and his assistant, Beaker.
“Come on, you two.” They heard Slinky address them and looked down to see him gesturing for them to follow him. “We’ve got a staff meeting to attend.”
Robin and Joanie exchanged a puzzled glance and then followed Slinky to where all the other toys were gathered. Woody was standing by some sort of makeshift podium, while a toy tape recorder waddled its way up and allowed him to take its microphone. “Hello? Check? Better? Great! Okay, first item today…Has everyone picked a moving buddy?”
The toys all moaned from his inquiry, whereas the confused little Robin turned to Joanie and asked, “We’re moving? To where?”
Joanie wanted to provide an answer for him to calm his nerves; but all she could do was politely shush him, expecting their answer to come in the conversation happening before them. “Moving buddy?” The ceramic piggy bank (appropriately known as “Hamm”) said from atop a drawer. “You can’t be serious!”
“Well, I didn’t know we were supposed to have one already.” Rex said, sounding just as concerned as Robin.
Mr. Potato Head, who put himself back together after his “attack” from Andy’s sister, waved his arm out of its socket. “Do we have to hold hands?” This, of course, got quite a humorous reaction from the other toys (with the obvious exception of Joanie, Robin, and Woody).
“Oh, yeah, you guys think this is a
big joke,” said the disgusted Woody. “We’ve only got one week left before the move. I don’t want any toys left behind.”
Robin couldn’t take much more of the confusion and spoke out to the pull-string cowboy doll. “Where are we moving to?” All glances suddenly focused directly on Robin, much of them displayed odd reactions.
Woody shook his head in aggravation at his question. “Oh, come on. Please don’t do this to me, guys. Ya gotta keep up with me on this stuff. You think it’s any easier for me, especially with Andy’s birthday moved to today?”
The toys suddenly panicked at this news, moving their stares away from Robin and back on Woody. “What’s going on down there? Is Mom losing her marbles?” Hamm questioned.
“Well, obviously she wanted to have the party before the move.” Woody indicated.
Robin’s confusion seemed to have grown each second of the discussion. “I don’t get it. Why’s everyone so afraid of a birthday party? Aren’t they supposed to be fun?”
The toys glanced oddly at the tiny frog again, and it was even Mr. Potato Head who voiced his irritation over all of his ridiculous questions. “Geez Louise! Where the heck has this kid been for the past century?”
“I’d say he’s been cooped up at the bottom of the toy box for too long.” Hamm uttered, creating uproar of laughter from the other toys.
Joanie, taking offense to how they were all laughing at the poor confused Robin, stepped forward and addressed them. “Okay, that’s enough! Yeah, he’s a little behind on what’s going on – but it’s for good reason.”
“You mean he
has been cooped up at the bottom of the box all this time?” Rex inquired, inadvertently creating yet another upheaval of laughter amongst everyone.
Woody became aggravated over how the subject seemed to have veered off-course, as well as how his friends were picking on the smaller toy. Immediately, he took command of the situation and told everyone, “Alright! Like Princess said, enough’s enough! The little guy is just worried about his future, okay? I mean, yeah, there are some of us who aren’t thinking straight on this. But that doesn’t mean we’re just going to insult each other for it. We just have to relax and know that everything is going to be just fine. How different can this be from every other birthday we’ve been through?”
“Uh, pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting, but…THEY’RE HERE!” Hamm frantically informed. “Birthday guests at three o’clock!”
At this update, the toys panicked and stampeded over Woody, heading toward the bedroom window, leaving him alone on the floor with Joanie and Robin. While they were crowded around the window and trying to get a peek outside, Joanie pulled Robin aside and hid under Andy’s bed as Woody wasn’t looking. She whispered to her little friend, “Look, Robin, we’ve got to get out of here. I’m certain we’ve just been transported away from the Muppet Theater, hopefully a few blocks or so. If we leave now, maybe we can get back before sunset and have Bunsen and Beaker switch us back to our normal selves.”
“But, Joanie, I don’t think…”
She didn’t give him much time to say what he wanted to, as she took his hand and pulled him out from under the bed along with herself, exiting out the other side. Woody and the other toys were distracted with whatever was happening outside, giving them the perfect opportunity for escape. They dashed through the open doorway leading out of the bedroom, moving into the upstairs hallway. Before going any further, Joanie looked around to check and see if the coast was clear. She wasn’t certain of why she did it, because she couldn’t care less if they were spotted by anyone; but it seemed important to her nonetheless.
Once she realized that it was, she led Robin down the staircase (which looked like a series of cliffs to Joanie and Robin) and moved to the downstairs hallway. Seeing the front door straight ahead, Joanie was thrilled to discover that she and Robin were only a hop and a skip away from freedom. But before either of them could move towards it, they both suddenly froze in place, just as Andy’s mother passed through, rounding up Andy and all of his birthday guests.
“Okay, c’mon, kids! Everyone in the living room. It’s almost time for presents.” And as she passed through, she spotted Joanie and Robin at the foot of the stairs and glanced at them in confusion. “What on earth…?” She sighed, picking the two of them up and setting them down atop a shelf in the living room. “I’m gonna have to remind him to pick these things up, or else I’ll have to…”
While she walked off and continued murmuring to herself in frustration, Joanie and Robin unfroze, surprised to have discovered what just happened to them. “How did
that happen?” Robin exclaimed.
“You’ve got me…I was just about ready to bolt through the front door, before my whole body just shut down.” Joanie glanced down over the edge and saw how far down it was from the top of the shelf. She groaned at the height, which would’ve taken several minutes for two small figures like them to get down. “Alright. So attempt number one has been foiled, but I’m sure attempt number two will turn out better. C’mon, Rob…” She stopped and noticed the amazed look on her friend’s face. “What? What is it?”
Robin pointed straight ahead to the pile of brightly wrapped gifts sitting atop the living room coffee table. “Look at all those wonderful presents! This Andy kid must be the luckiest one on the planet!”
Joanie shook her head and grinned. “Don’t get distracted, little buddy. We’ve got to boogie, before…” The sound of kids laughing and running into the living room stopped her cold, and both she and Robin remained where they were, as Andy, his mother, and the guests showed up in the room. Again, Joanie groaned – another attempt foiled. “Perfect!”
“Relax, Joanie.” Robin said. “At least we get to see what all he got.”
END OF CHAPTER TWO
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