What made you roll your eyes today thread?

[Drtooth]

There was a big study that reveals that bullies aren't really the damaged good taking their anger out on everyone else to be tough in the face of tragedy like Nelson Muntz. Nope. They're apparently all Social Darwinists with big egos pushing people around because they can.

Okay... was the Bullies being damaged people that need our love fictional narrative that freaking strong that they had to blow a crapload of money realizing bullies are just jerks that like being jerks for the sake of being jerks?

 

[fuzzygobo]

I never bought into that either. Bullies are still pathetic picking on others out of sheer meanness or cruelty. Which made it all the more satisfying when one bully who picked on me got his clock cleaned- by me. His black eye gave him a painful reminder who he was dealing with.

If you're big enough to dish it out, you should be big enough to take it.

 

[CensoredAlso]

They're apparently all Social Darwinists with big egos pushing people around because they can.

I do agree there are personality types that lean towards that kind of over bearing, intolerant behavior. And frankly, it's adults with that kind of temperament that often end up in leadership roles in society. This is why I laugh when I hear adults talk about putting an end to bullying. Adult don't want to admit that they encourage a "haves/have nots" mentality in our society. It's easier to just dismiss it all as "kids can be so cruel."

 

[Drtooth]

The problem is that there isn't one kind of bully. The big muscular jock Biff Tannen kind doesn't have a monopoly, and often times real bullies are just groups of his sidekicks without needing a tough. Verbal abuse is pretty bad too. Wiseguy verbal bullies are unfunny little buttpipes that take others down because they're that terrible at being funny. Like bad insult comics who are just incredibly mean instead of clever.

Plus, let's face it. It's an odd mix of social Darwinism and tall poppy syndrome. There's a mob mentality and some of the weenie students who don't want to get bullied just side with the bully until the entire school is against one kid (or sometimes a group) just because everyone's doing it and conformity is God.

There's too many factors here. There's no magic bullet for stopping this stuff, and whether it's genetic or societal, the only way to decrease this is through gradual change and better parenting. Yeah I get that the whole "if you act like a complete [Richard], you automatically get everything you want" because social Darwinists built the society for other social Darwinists. But where's the humility? And also you can't turn around and bully the bullies because A) it's hypocritical and often times the victim gets more of a punishment and B) they can dish it out, but you know they don't take it at all. And I don't mean they automatically become babies (though some do, and everyone I knew that did that were)... they'll violently lash out because it's their right to pick on you, and standing up for yourself is somehow the hold that's barred.

 

[fuzzygobo]

Well then I must have beaten the odds. I was bullied from third to fifth grade. And after I stood up to my bully and decked him, nobody ever bothered me again. As far as I know, he never picked on anyone else either.
I was the textbook target for bullies. The skinny nerdy kid with buck teeth and glasses. Easy pickings. But after I stood up to my enemy and belted him, not only did everybody else leave me alone after that, my classmates gave me this newfound respect for having a backbone.

I wish bullies didn't exist, I wish I never got picked on, but I am proud for standing up for myself, and no longer having to live with that fear. I wasn't proud of getting suspended for three days, but I'm not ashamed of it either.
That day was a huge victory for me.

 

[CensoredAlso]

It really depends on the group. For some groups, sure, physical prowess can get you respect. But as far as bullies that practice verbal abuse or isolation, there's no one solution. The only one I keep coming back to is teaching children (and adults for that matter) resilience.

Also, I really have no patience for adults who complain about kids spending too much time on online communities. These are clearly adults who were never bullied or at least have a ridiculously rosy memory of childhood. There were times in my childhood when I literally had no friends. And I would have loved to have a community that shared my interests to go to everyday. In fact, I remember the first time I went on a message board in 1995, it was amazing to suddenly find a bunch of other Star Trek fans to talk to, lol. Sometimes the "real world" lets you down, and the Web can be a viable alternative.

 

[fuzzygobo]

That was the same way with me when there used to be a website called YesterdayLand. You found some cool people (some ended up here, like Katzi428, Xerus) to bond with. However, the trolls found their way in as well. (One member who caused a lot of grief here who is thankfully banned). In school, it's one thing to deal with bullies face to face. It's something else online being harassed by a complete stranger you may never meet.
Sometimes online bullies can be even worse. They can hide behind their anonymous cloak and troll and flame without fear of retaliation. What's the worst thing that can happen? Getting banned? Yet they can still wreak havoc.

Sometimes the bully mentality really sickens me. It shows what a lack of courage, or compassion, some people have. Sometimes it may be in a deep-rooted desire to bolster their lousy self-esteem. But when people bully others
just to get their little jollies, that's pathetic.

 

[D'Snowth]

That's always been a problem with forums. MC hasn't had to deal with it much, because it's certainly not tolerated here: the first sign of someone causing problems among the forum are immediately reported by the members, and are quickly crushed by Phil and/or Ed.

But yes, elsewhere on the internet, this is certain a problem. I used to post somewhat regularly at ToonZone when I was younger, and while it certainly wasn't a bad forum, it did have a number of members who had a tendancy to be incredibly rude and weren't above making you feel like a village idiot.

I also don't think I need to remind you guys of all the trouble I've had in the past with the entire Whose Line fandom.

From what I've seen from personal experience and that of others, there are definitely certain kinds of people who are singled out on the internet for one reason or another: people who tend to be obsessive about something within a fandom, or people with certain views in terms of religion, for example, tend to get cyberbullied the most. Sometimes age plays a factor too: certain members who are considerably younger than the rest of a community will find themselves targeted for not being as mature or "grown-up" as the rest of the forum, and are often run out. And of course, petty disputes among fandoms are enough to turn people into enemies amongst themselves, whether it's a disagreement over a certain character, pairing, writing team, etc.

 

[Drtooth]

That's why I say the term "bully" is undefined.

When it comes to internet behavior, the word bully is thrown around too much and it really detracts from the major picture.

Problem with some sites is that the "bullies" are the original members or the major members, and they have that social Darwinist cliq that grew out off too many noobs posting nonsense with poor spelling, all undercase, all uppercase, and like that. Then that extends to anyone who's an established member that complains about something because they apparently can't tolerate complaints about things that they're not complaining about. And I'd admit, there are some times they do have a point, but they're complete jerks about it because they've had to handle it for so long. I left a few sites because of that.

Then there's people who attack you because you attack something they like and then throw passive aggressive crap at you because you dare not like their crap. I remember one of the reasons I left Toonzone after a couple months was someone who looooved the awful Disney Tweencoms at the time gave me crap for saying "Disney should created a cartoon series not based on a movie" and giving me the "how is that different from Ducktales being based on a comic book" and giving the REASONABLE answer that every 5 year old has seen Aladdin but not everyone at age 5 has access to Scrooge McDuck comics (coming from experience as I was mystified seeing a Scrooge McDuck comic book having the same story as an episode of Ducktales). Then some other member started barraging me with "Derp STRAWMAN LOGIC! You're insulting my intelligence!!!" blah blah blah and stuff like that. All because I dared say Disney at the time was bombing their own animated shows (at the time they had a terrible Aristocats series and a weird Robin Hood series but went with Emperor's New School instead) to keep their prefab pop star shows going. At the risk of being hypocritical about name calling and bullying... what a dork! Didn't even use the term "Strawman logic" right.

 

[Katzi428]

That was the same way with me when there used to be a website called YesterdayLand. You found some cool people (some ended up here, like Katzi428, Xerus) to bond with. However, the trolls found their way in as well. (One member who caused a lot of grief here who is thankfully banned). In school, it's one thing to deal with bullies face to face. It's something else online being harassed by a complete stranger you may never meet.
Sometimes online bullies can be even worse. They can hide behind their anonymous cloak and troll and flame without fear of retaliation. What's the worst thing that can happen? Getting banned? Yet they can still wreak havoc.

Sometimes the bully mentality really sickens me. It shows what a lack of courage, or compassion, some people have. Sometimes it may be in a deep-rooted desire to bolster their lousy self-esteem. But when people bully others
just to get their little jollies, that's pathetic.

On the Yesterdayland site that you mentioned, I (foolishly) said that I was worried about a neighbor whose mail I got for her. She hadn't answered her door one day. Thinking the worst, I told my father about what happened. So I was attacked w/ "Aww..you still live with your parents?" (I was in my 20s at the time.) I didn't want to mention why I still lived w/my parents. (why give them more ammunition to attack me with, right?) A lot of people were attacked on YL. I guess that's why it was closed. It was a breeding ground for trolls.