TMS Script - Adam West

[Dil]

Adam West is known for playing Batman. The dead Christopher Reeve & the alive Lynda Carter once acted as super-heroes.

STYLE: Late Season 4 (circa Christopher Reeve, Lynda Carter)

DESCRIPTION: In this episode, the entire cast get bat-uenza; and everytime they end a sentence with an !, they turn black bats.

DRESSING ROOM

SCOOTER: "Adam West, Adam West!"

(Scooter turns into a bat.)

ADAM: "Ah, yes. 15 seconds to curtain."

SCOOTER: "How did you know... How did you know it would be 15 seconds to curtain?"

ADAM: (pauses) "I can read your mind."

SCOOTER: "Really? What caused you to do that?"

(Adam turns into Batman.)

ADAM: (close-up) "The cast is getting bat-uenza. So on this show, whenever someone ends his or her sentences with an !, he or she will automatically turn into... a bat. (whispers) Hmmm, what to do?"

OPENING THEME

KERMIT: "It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star Adam West! YAAAYY--"

(Kermit turns into a bat.)

KERMIT: (looking at himself) "Huh?!"

(The bat version of the chorus is used instead of from the rest of the 4th Season episodes.)

(Statler & Waldorf's beginning comment is replaced by Animal.)

(While Animal is playing the drums...)

ANIMAL: "WO-MAN! WO-MAN!"

(Animal turns into a bat.)

GONZO AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW
Before Gonzo even blows his horn...
GONZO: Don't fail me now, horn!
Gonzo then turns into a bat.

That's all I'll write for now.
What do you think?

 

[MartyMuppets]

I don't know what to think. With all the cast using ! so rapidly there's going to be barely anybody left themselves by the first quarter of the show.
But it is a humorous concept however fersure

 

[minor muppetz]

Good so far. I have thought about writing an outline featuring Adam West, but haven't thought much about what kind of plot should be done, nor have I thought of what season it would be for (though I have thought about saying that it either takes place before, between, or after the Christopher Reeve and Lynda Carter episodes) or what Adam West would do.

 

[The Count]

I'm liking this one fright off the bat.

To help you guys out... Adam West was also in a bad horror movie called Zombie Nightmare, shown on MST3K... He played the villain known as Breathtaker in the Black Scorpion series from a few years back on the Sci-Fi Channel... You might also want to add to the script by utilizing the Muppet version range of Batman characters, or have Adam West jeer the movies and proclaim he could've done a better job if given the chance...
Stuff like that, hope it helps.

 

[Dil]

The bat version of Kermit can be identified with his collar, the bat version of Miss Piggy can be identified with her blue eyes, Fozze: his hat & tie, Scooter: his glasses, Gonzo: his nose & eyelids, etc. etc.

CURTAIN

(The bat version of Kermit is used here.)

KERMIT: "Thank you, thank you, and welcome to another one! And I have a special announcement, be careful not to use an ! at the end of your sentences, or else you'll turn into a bat until the end of the show. Our special guest, Adam West, aka the star of Batman, will take care of Bat-uenza, which caused you to turn you into a bat when you use an ! at the end of your sentences. But before we have Batman onstage, I would like to ask you something. The question is: "How would you like to sing about a Christmas tree in March? ... No way, you say? Well, here it is."

OPENING NUMBER: Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree

(Dr. Teeth & Zoot plays this song near a tree in the hot springs at Springtime. In this number, there would be a rare sung line ("Decks the Halls with Bounds of Holy") by Zoot.)

(In the end, Dr. Teeth & Zoot shout "Yeah!" then both turn into a bat.)

BALCONY

WALDORF: "That song is absolutly batty."

STATLER: "They can't have Christmas at the hot..."

BOTH: "SPRINGS!"

(S & W jump up as they both turn into bats.)

 

[Kimp the Shrimp]

preety good

 

[Dil]

Finally ready for some more?:

BACKSTAGE

KERMIT: "OK, a little batty. A little batty."

(Zoot & Dr. Teeth leave while Teeth is holding a Bat-shaped #3.)

KERMIT: "Nice joke."

(The #3 opens up like a zipper.)

KERMIT: "Ha! Hey, Scooter!"

(A scooter slides on the backstage desk.)

KERMIT: "No, not you! (looks at the audience) The wrong Scooter."

(Kermit goes onstage.)

CURTAIN

KERMIT: "OK, we have a batty show, but we have some action pack, here he is that superhero since Reeve and Lynda, Mr. Adam West! BRING ON THE BAAATTTSS!!!"

SKETCH: BATMAN

(the same intro music from the Senor Wences spots is used while the curtain risee.)

ANNOUNCER: "In today's episode, Batman is about to face against a cactus with bat wings."

(That cactus would be Timmy Monster with Spikes around his head, arms, and legs.)

ADAM: "OK, now I'm in the Mexican desert. (talks on the radio) Uh, Fred, I think I'm in the Mexican desert."

FRED (off-camera): "Good, now all you have to do is find a cactus with bat wings, bring him to me, and we'll be able to comunitate with this strange living thing."

ADAM: "I copy."

(The Bat-Winged Cactus spy-ly taps on Adam's shoulders, then he turns back, but the Cactus disappeared just before Adam looks back.)

ADAM: "What was that?"

CACTUS: (pops-up) "Were you trying to find me? Well!"

(The Cactus turns into a bat.)

CACTUS: "What have we here?.... Well, what?"

ADAM: "Umm.. Didn't you turn into a bat?"

CACTUS: "Uh, yeah, umm, uh, kinda, I...... think."

ADAM: (points at the Cactus) "Your body.."

CACTUS: "Nah, just the wings--"

(Adam uses his control which then a mirror comes out of his left arm.)

CACTUS: "Now, what's up?"

(Cactus looks at the mirror, he then gets shocked and faints.)

ADAM: "I-I thought you liked bats."

CACTUS: (weakly) "Ole..."

(the outro music is the same as for the Senor Wences spots.)

BALCONY

STATLER & WALDORF: "Yay! Yay! Yay!"

STATLER: "Finally, they gave some superheroic sketch & action."

WALDORF: "Can we stop saying... and 'ACTION!'?"

(both laugh.)

What do you think?

 

[Dil]

It's been a while, eh? Sorry, here's some more:

NEWSFLASH

NEWSMAN: "Here's a bulliton from the Muppet Newsroom. The Muppet Show Cast is turning into bats... which is due... (echoes) for Bat-uenza!"

(The Newsman turns into a bat.)

BACKSTAGE

SCOOTER: "Hey, Kermit?"

KERMIT: "Yes?"

SCOOTER: "Dr. Bob & the Nurses had shouted and turned into bats. Instead of Veterinarian's Hospital, how about 'Baterinarian's Hospital'?"

(A trio of bats enter the stage.)

KERMIT: "They ARE kind of batty."

SCOOTER: "You said it. First, Superman, next, Wonderwoman, now, Batman!"

KERMIT: (at the camera) "If Scooter looked like himself when he said a sentence like that, he would have turned into a bat."

BATERINARIAN'S HOSPITAL

ANNOUNCER: (as Miss Piggy flies at the hospital room) "And now, Baterinarian's Hospital. The continuing stoorrry of a quack who's gone to the bats."

(Dr. Bob & the Nurses are all bats, Dr. Bob: Dr. Bat, Nurse Piggy: Nurse Batty, Nurse Janice: Nurse Batis. A baseball bat is the patient.)

ROWLF: "Heyy, batter batter batter batter batter!"

JANICE: "Dr. Bat, a baseball bat is the patient."

ROWLF: "Is it feeling batty?"

(The baseball bat smacks Rowlf with a "WHAM!", which turns the baseball into a real bat, too!)

PIGGY: "Dr. Bat, I wonder if that bat should've stayed put."

ROWLF: "1: Well, a ball would land on the bed without touching the bat staying still... (pants) ... and it's a ball. Well, let's... play BALL! 2: 2 X 2 = 4, let's walk."

(Rowlf, Janice, & Piggy walk around the bed.)

JANICE: "Speaking of balls, I went bowling yesterday, and... and..."

ROWLF: "Well, I went bowling too, Nurse Batis, and the pins weren't half gone... they're all gone!"

PIGGY: "Hmm... what a joke."

ROWLF: "And... the bowling ball didn't hit a bat, STRIKE! 1... x 3 = 3... 3 seconds... 3 2 1... OUT! Out of time."

ANNOUNCER: "And so we've come to an end of the replacement of Veterinarian's Hospital. Tune in next week when we'll hear Nurse Batty, Nurse Batis, & Dr. Bat sing..."

ROWLF, PIGGY, & JANICE: (sings) "Take me out to the ball game..."

(The bats dance waltz in the room, singing "Take Me Out to The Ball Game".)

U.K. SPOT - CURTAIN

KERMIT: (still a bat) "OK, moving right along, we're about to bring you these Vaudeville Broadway Zebras from Africa who are about to sing a song from Disneyland in the United States, where we Muppets live. So... without further ado, here they are, the fabulous Stripe Brothers! YAAAAYYYYY!!!!"

U.K. SPOT - MUSICAL NUMBER: I'm Walking Right Down The Middle of Mainstreet U.S.A.

(12 zebras (without teeth), in 3 rows (1 row for each 4 zebras), sing their rendition of the entire song from 'Disneyland Fun', which is about 10 years after 1980, the airing year of this pretend episode.)

(Quongo from backstage throw coconuts at the zebras during the song, and in the last verse, only 4 zebras survived from the coconut throws. Half of the 4 get knocked off, so only 2 zebras sang the entire song, and they ducked under the coconut throws during the last notes, and the 2 last zebras pop up shouting "Hey!" at the same time of the very last note, and... the last 2 zebras turn into bats.. and get knocked off from the coconuts during the end.)

(This song may be memorable, that it would have been one of the songs/sketches for "The Muppet Revue", replacing the Motorcycle Act, which would have been included in "Muppet Weird Stuff".)

Perhaps someone would answer me this time. And boy, what do you think of this?

 

[MartyMuppets]

It's absolutely batty Dil. Very great. I love it.
Especially Baterinarian's Hospital.
What's next? BAAATS IIIIINNN SPAAAAAACCCCEEE!

 

[The Count]

It's OK... Sorry it took me a while to come in and reply. Would suggest you talk with some of the other outline writers around, especially Gorgon Heap.
The Batarinarian's Hospital sketch was a good idea, it just didn't make much sense to me. The only joke that was worth it was the one at the end, where they sang Take Me Out To The Ball Game.
Sorry, but that's all I gots to say. Rully hope you can make the rest of this script work, as it has something of promise there... Just takes a bit of brainstorming to bring it to its fullest.