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Gorgon Heap
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Had this one in various stages of near completion, just polished it off today! Submitted for your approval:
"It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Mick Jagger! YAAAAYYY!"
SPECIAL GUEST STAR: MICK JAGGER
STYLE: LATE SEASON FIVE (circa Debbie Harry, Chris Langham episodes)
COLD OPENING: Pops tells Mick the Rolling Stones are all present and accounted for. Rocks then roll in and crush Mick.
Mick: “I’ve only been here 30 seconds and already I’m being taken for granite.”
(A Muppet Rock pops up over his shoulder, laughing, as Mick chuckles.)
OPENING THEME:
GONZO: plays trumpet note on a shoe. “Shoehorn! Ha ha ha ha!”
OPENING NUMBER: “Rock Lobster” – performed by fish band (punked out Gills Brothers) with clams, shark, catfish & dogfish (in Debbie Harry closing number set with undersea backdrop)
Waldorf: "Rock lobsters?! What is it, some kind of fad?"
Statler: "What next, rap scallions?"
(A scallion pops up wearing shades and a gold chain.)
Scallion: "Word up."
(S & W alternate doing takes at the scallion and at the camera.)
BACKSTAGE: Bo keeps bees for the closing number. Meanwhile, Piggy sets her sights on Mick Jagger.
SONG: "Get Off of My Cloud" - Mick and the Electric Mayhem on a cloud with DogLion (dancing)
Waldorf: "You know, I've never understood why he's on a cloud in the first place. Is he some kind of angel?"
Statler: "Not so far."
(S & W laugh.)
SONG: "Time is on my Side" - Geri and the Atrics (set from the Hal Linden episode)
DRESSING ROOM: Piggy tries to seduce Mick, who rebuffs her and gets karate chopped.
MUPPET NEWS: "Here is a Muppet Newsflash! The Muppet Theater has been overrun by a rare species of killer bee. There is no cause for alarm, however, as the bees only attack hapless twerps."
(Two bees attack him.)
Waldorf: "What was that?"
Statler: "It looked like two bees, but I'm not sure."
Waldorf: "Well, make up your mind: two bees or not two bees!"
(S & W laugh.)
VET'S HOSPITAL: a clam is the patient
UK SPOT: "Ring My Bell" - gargoyle and Mulch in the bell tower (from the Debbie Harry episode, with disco lighting)
SONG: "Under My Thumb" - Mick & the Electric Mayhem (stage wall)
(AUDIENCE SHOT)
CANTEEN: Fozzie tries out bee jokes on the bees, who attack him.
GONZO: boxes a gorilla on a tire swing
MUPPET SPORTS: Underwater Basket Weaving
BACKSTAGE: Mick makes amends with Piggy by asking her to feature as the queen (bee) in the closing number.
CLOSING NUMBER: "I'm a King Bee" - Mick, the Electric Mayhem, Piggy (as the Queen Bee) and dancing Muppet Bees in a large, yellow-lit beehive set
BEEHIVE SET: Kermit brings Mick out to say good night.
Mick: "Thank you, Kermit! I've had such a wonderful time working with the bees, I've invited them back to my place for a movie."
Kermit: "Really? What are you going to watch?"
Mick: "What else? "The Sting"."
(Two Bees enter, laughing.)
Kermit: "I think I'll see it another time."
(to the audience)
"And we'll see you NEXT time on The Muppet Show!"
(Mick, Kermit, Piggy, Rizzo, DogLion, Geri, Clam, and Bees gather around, with the Electric Mayhem still on the bandstand in the background.)
Statler: "What's the buzz on next week's show?"
(The bees pop up, buzzing loudly.)
Waldorf: "Noisy!"
(S & W cover their ears.)
Feedback encouraged.
David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
"It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Mick Jagger! YAAAAYYY!"
SPECIAL GUEST STAR: MICK JAGGER
STYLE: LATE SEASON FIVE (circa Debbie Harry, Chris Langham episodes)
COLD OPENING: Pops tells Mick the Rolling Stones are all present and accounted for. Rocks then roll in and crush Mick.
Mick: “I’ve only been here 30 seconds and already I’m being taken for granite.”
(A Muppet Rock pops up over his shoulder, laughing, as Mick chuckles.)
OPENING THEME:
GONZO: plays trumpet note on a shoe. “Shoehorn! Ha ha ha ha!”
OPENING NUMBER: “Rock Lobster” – performed by fish band (punked out Gills Brothers) with clams, shark, catfish & dogfish (in Debbie Harry closing number set with undersea backdrop)
Waldorf: "Rock lobsters?! What is it, some kind of fad?"
Statler: "What next, rap scallions?"
(A scallion pops up wearing shades and a gold chain.)
Scallion: "Word up."
(S & W alternate doing takes at the scallion and at the camera.)
BACKSTAGE: Bo keeps bees for the closing number. Meanwhile, Piggy sets her sights on Mick Jagger.
SONG: "Get Off of My Cloud" - Mick and the Electric Mayhem on a cloud with DogLion (dancing)
Waldorf: "You know, I've never understood why he's on a cloud in the first place. Is he some kind of angel?"
Statler: "Not so far."
(S & W laugh.)
SONG: "Time is on my Side" - Geri and the Atrics (set from the Hal Linden episode)
DRESSING ROOM: Piggy tries to seduce Mick, who rebuffs her and gets karate chopped.
MUPPET NEWS: "Here is a Muppet Newsflash! The Muppet Theater has been overrun by a rare species of killer bee. There is no cause for alarm, however, as the bees only attack hapless twerps."
(Two bees attack him.)
Waldorf: "What was that?"
Statler: "It looked like two bees, but I'm not sure."
Waldorf: "Well, make up your mind: two bees or not two bees!"
(S & W laugh.)
VET'S HOSPITAL: a clam is the patient
UK SPOT: "Ring My Bell" - gargoyle and Mulch in the bell tower (from the Debbie Harry episode, with disco lighting)
SONG: "Under My Thumb" - Mick & the Electric Mayhem (stage wall)
(AUDIENCE SHOT)
CANTEEN: Fozzie tries out bee jokes on the bees, who attack him.
GONZO: boxes a gorilla on a tire swing
MUPPET SPORTS: Underwater Basket Weaving
BACKSTAGE: Mick makes amends with Piggy by asking her to feature as the queen (bee) in the closing number.
CLOSING NUMBER: "I'm a King Bee" - Mick, the Electric Mayhem, Piggy (as the Queen Bee) and dancing Muppet Bees in a large, yellow-lit beehive set
BEEHIVE SET: Kermit brings Mick out to say good night.
Mick: "Thank you, Kermit! I've had such a wonderful time working with the bees, I've invited them back to my place for a movie."
Kermit: "Really? What are you going to watch?"
Mick: "What else? "The Sting"."
(Two Bees enter, laughing.)
Kermit: "I think I'll see it another time."
(to the audience)
"And we'll see you NEXT time on The Muppet Show!"
(Mick, Kermit, Piggy, Rizzo, DogLion, Geri, Clam, and Bees gather around, with the Electric Mayhem still on the bandstand in the background.)
Statler: "What's the buzz on next week's show?"
(The bees pop up, buzzing loudly.)
Waldorf: "Noisy!"
(S & W cover their ears.)
Feedback encouraged.
David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
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