The Swine Trek Saga: A New Hog

[Barry Lee]

Hi-Ho! Be prepared for a new series of Fan Fictions, based off of "Star Wars," "Star Trek", and other science fiction films/shows/stories mixed with the Muppets! The Swinetrek crew consists of the original three, Captain Link Hogthrob, Doctor Julius Strangepork, and First Mate Piggy. We also have additional members of the crew. Expect there to be twists, this isn't in any previous cannon, this saga will be a separate cannon from any other muppet production or story we may have seen. There will be many stories in this series but expect one story at a time. So let's begin with, "The Swine Trek Saga."

The Swine Trek Saga: Episode I "A New Hog"​

Chapter 1​

It's a beautiful Thursday afternoon around 4 o'clock in Grosse City, as the sound of a rushed type writer is heard from the cramped office of reporter, Kermit the Frog of "The Grosse Gazette." The office has peeled wallpaper and scents of coffee stains from 20 years ago. Kermit is the head reporter of the newspaper and is currently working on a story about Captain Link Hogthrob and his crew, who will be the first Pigs traveling to the Planet Koozebane. As Kermit is typing, in walks two bears.​

"Hey Kermit!", the bear with the hat smiles.​

"Hey Fozzie! Who's the friend you've got there?" Kermit asks as he takes out his hand to give a handshake.​

"Oh, I'm Bobo the Bear," Bobo shakes Kermit's hands (but nearly gives him a stroke), "you must be Kremit the Lizard, I am Fozzie's nephew!"​

Kermit looks at the large Bobo, "Nephew aye? Well welcome to the Grosse Gazette offices!"​

"Sorry Kermit, I had to bring him over to work with me, you see my sister needed to run some errands so I had to take care of him," Fozzie explains.​

"Oh I see," Kermit says in a puzzling matter.​

"So where are those nasty birds?" Bobo asks, "You know the Grosse Gazelles?"​

"No no no, you see Bobo, this is a gazette," the frog explains.​

Bobo wanders off around the building as Fozzie has a seat in front of Kermit's cluttered desk, "Hows the story coming along?," he asks Kermit. "Oh good," Kermit responds, "though I may need you to come with me during the space launch Saturday to take some photographs."​

Fozzie was anxious to know he'd be the photographer for the Swinetrek story. As Kermit and Fozzie enlighten each other in conversation, Sam the Eagle (editor of "The Grosse Gazette") marches into Kermit's office.​

"What is the meaning of this large bear making photo copies of his face on the photo copier?" Sam grunts.​

"Oh, thats just my nephew," Fozzie explains.​

Sam shifts his eyes, "Shoulda known...ahem anyway, I will be going out of town with the kids for the weekend, so just send the story tonight to my secretary," he says as he shakes his head and walks off.​

As Sam leaves, a young twenty-something suave caucasian man with short brown hair and eager eyes enters the door, "Hey Robert! What do you need?" Kermit asks. Robert is an intern for the gazette, and would do anything to get the story about the Swinetrek, but so far he only works with the janitor, George.​

"I, I was j-just wondering if you needed a-any h-help with the st-st-story?," Robert stutters as he smiles nervously hoping that Kermit would allow him some part of the story.​

Kermit shrugs, "I wish I could but I am basically finished with the story, and I have to give Sam the final edit in an hour, I'm really sorry Robert."​

"It's okay," Robert sighs as he walks away from the sight of Kermit and Fozzie, but little do they know, Robert is listening in on their conversation.​

"Fozzie meet me at the launch pad Saturday morning, I'll bring over Scooter to do some recording" Kermit states as he puts the finished story on his desk. Robert watches the stack of papers on Kermit's desk, zoned in on trying to grab that story away from Kermit. As Robert keeps listening in, Bobo is about to enter Kermit's office. "Well who are you?" Bobo asks. Robert gasps and runs with fright.​

"Sounds good Kermit, I gotta run though and take Bobo home, seeya Saturday!" Fozzie proclaims as he walks out the office with Bobo carrying hundreds of sheets of his photocopied face. Soon after Kermit carries the stack of papers which is his story, to Sam the editor's office and drops it off to his secretary. He then goes to lock his office up, and go home to his apartment for the night.​

As the sun dims down, and the lights in the office are off Robert decides to stop hiding in the janitor's closet, hoping Kermit and Fozzie (as well as the rest of the workers) have left. Seeing so, he grabs the master key as well as a flashlight, and enters Sam's office. He carries two sheets of paper as he takes Kermit's story, and replaces it with his own. Robert also takes a press pass. As soon as he puts the pass in his pocket, a glaring set of green eyes stares at him.​

"HAULT!", a rich voice proclaims followed by heavy breathing, "and what are you doing here this time of night in the Eagle's den?"​

"U-Uh," Robert stumbles around the room as his brain scatters for an excuse, "George left s-something in t-the office and asked me to take it h-home to h-him? Yeah!"​

The light is turned on as a blue scaly creature appears in a black cloak, "Just don't tell the boss I showed up late tonight," he grunts.​

"Oh, sure thing Uncle Deadly, have a good shift," Robert pats Uncle Deadly (the night janitor) on his shoulders nervously as he runs out of the building constantly tripping over himself.​

Uncle Deadly chuckles creepily as he calms down, "at last I am alone now I can start working on my quilt!"​

Robert runs to the bus barely catching grip to Kermit's story as he looses breath. He greets Carl the Big Mean Bus Driver as he throws Carl some coins to eat and takes a deep sigh as he sits down on his way home. The bus drive seemed like it was forever, as Robert kept inflicting guilt in his heart that he just replaced Kermit the Frog's story. His greed overpowered his heart though and with a snarky smile he arrives at his apartment. Immediately Robert goes over to his paper shredder and shreds Kermit's story.​

 

[Barry Lee]

Posting Part I of Chapter Two to bump the thread.

Chapter 2 (Part I)

The alarm is set for 6 am, as green hands hit the snooze button, Kermit yawns as he nestles in his bed. Stretching his flippers, he gradually snarls as he raises his petite head and roars as if he was a lion fresh out of his cage. He turns over and glances at his desk which holds a lamp, his alarm clock, and a picture of his girlfriend. He blushes, he always blushes thinking of her, having that school boy smile we all get with the sort of puppy -- er, amphibian love. As he steps onto the ground walking to the kitchen he gets a knock on the door. The door sways open.

"Hey Kermit," a gruff voice remarks. It's Rowlf, his neighbor, Rowlf is a plump fellow with a soul that is wise and a heart that is grand (piano.) He's also a dog.

"Hey Rowlf, want some coffee? I'm just about to head over to the shop." Kermit remarks with open arms. In Kermit's apartment, there is only a kitchen and a bedroom, which is okay with Kermit. Simple living at it's finest. Rowlf replies with a nod, as they head out the door and walk across the empty street (as the sun starts to rise.) They enter a quaint coffee shop by the name of "Floyd's Coffee Emporium," owned by two hippies. Floyd Pepper, who looks like a reject from the 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band' album cover and his wife Janice, the definition of a valley girl.

"Good morning friends!" Floyd greets Rowlf and Kermit, behind the coffee bar as Janice walks in from the kitchen. The coffee shop is about the size of a shoe box, with kaleidoscopic wallpaper and checker board flooring. There are about three booths on the left side, and a coffee bar with three stools on the right, on the far end of the building there is a small stage with a grand piano & a disco ball hanging from the ceiling. chicken wire guards the stage. Janice starts making the house blend for the two, as an elderly pig with saggy cheeks, glasses and a business suit enters the shop followed by a youthful pig (female) whom had long dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, and a simple purple dress. Kermit glanced as the lady, caught his eye.

"Oh, you guys, this is Dr. Strangepork and his assistant Miss Piggy" Floyd introduces the two. Miss Piggy stares at Kermit as butterflies mutually were shared.

"Who may vous be?," Piggy blushes directing the question to Kermit.
"Oh hi! I'm Rowlf the Dog," Rowlf interupts, "This is Kermit."

Kermit is in a little awe, and quickly tries to snap out of it, but you can still see his admiration on his face. Floyd explains to Kermit, that Dr. Strangepork is heading the pigs in space project.

"Oh! I talked to you on the phone!," Kermit remarks.
"Ah yes, I remember," Strangepork recalls, "I was just stopping by to remind Floyd and Janice about the shuttle launch tomorrow!"

While Strangepork and Floyd make small talk, Janice finishes the coffees handing them over to Rowlf & Kermit. Rowlf immediately starts gulping down his cup of joe, but Piggy and Kermit are still smitten with each other.

"Hey Kermit, don't you need to see your girlfriend for lunch later this afternoon?" Rowlf adds, trying to get Kermit to focus on his coffee.

"Girlfriend?" Miss Piggy's heart breaks.

"Eee, uhhhh, yeah." Kermit replies as he takes a sip of coffee.

"Hey Doc, you mind if I bring our band over to the shuttle?" Floyd asks.

"Sure thing," Strangepork replies, "By the way, I want to give you all passes to tour the swinetrek before the shuttle!"

Kermit, Rowlf, Janice, and Floyd all get excited thanking Dr. Strangepork for the tickets as he passes them out. "Well Piggy and I gotta go hand out some more tickets, you guys have a great day!" Janice, Floyd, and Rowlf all make a collective 'bye' as Kermit watches Miss Piggy leave.

"Bye," the frog replies.

-------

Robert arrives at the "Grosse Gazette" to find Uncle Deadly there vast asleep in the janitor's closet.

"Deadly! Deadly!" Robert shouts trying to wake him up, while he hears Deadly's heavy snoring. Uncle Deadly then shakes and wakes up.

"Oh! I overslept!" he proclaims, he almost runs out the door before Robert grabs him.

"Listen, I need your help..." Robert states.

 

[Barry Lee]

Note: As you can tell, we don't go to space just yet, but there will be some background information etc. to the story before we just go to Koozebane, so expect surprises.

 

[Muppetfan44]

Interesting start so far! I think it's hilarious that Bobo is Fozzie's nephew and I'm curious to find out who Kermit's girlfriend is. I was also curious to find out that Strangepork and Piggy don't read as members of the crew going on the space quest so definitely curious!

Great job so far, excited to read more!

 

[Barry Lee]

Interesting start so far! I think it's hilarious that Bobo is Fozzie's nephew and I'm curious to find out who Kermit's girlfriend is. I was also curious to find out that Strangepork and Piggy don't read as members of the crew going on the space quest so definitely curious!

Great job so far, excited to read more!

Oh you'll be seeing a ton of Stangepork and Piggy to come, no worries

 

[tutter_fan]

Boy, this should turn out to be an interesting read for me! I can't wait to find out what happens!

 

[Barry Lee]

Thanks you guys! More is coming super soon!