The Spectacular Spidey/Muppets Celebration

[G-MAN]

That was a sad sequence, although I do love Gonzo's aknoladgement of his changes in the flashbacks.

 

[muppetwriter]

Guess I should go ahead and tell everyone who's reading this tale for the first time that they'll be needing teddy bears.

Here's the next chapter.


Chapter 3

"Si, si! Five sixes I swear, hokay?" Pepe said arguing his poker hand.

"That is undeniably the biggest lie I have ver heard!" Sam the American Eagle shouted, holding a hand of playin gcards as well.

"No way bird brain," Pepe said. "I have dem, right here, hokay?"

Link Hogthrob pushed back in his chair, "Well, there goes my rare collection of Bavarian chocolates," he moaned, leaving the table.

"En spoot dee fluer de Svedish meatbools!" The Swedish Chef said, slamming his cards on the table and walking away.

"Let me see those cards!" Sam Eagle demanded.

"Hokay big bird, but I think jou'll be upset," Pepe said handing Sam the cards.

Sam looked at the cards and shifted his eyes to Pepe. "This is a hand of four nines and one six you simpleton!"

Pepe looked at the cards over Sam's shoulder. "Si, dis is what I said, hokay?"

"Unbelievable!" Sam said as he slapped his head.

Kermit walked by the table of card players with his cup of coffee and shook his head. "Not even in a hospital," he muttered.

He returned to the seating area where Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Scooter, Clifford, Rizzo and Rowlf were sitting, along with Sweetums sprawled out on a couch sleeping, with Robin doing the same on his chest.

Scooter yawned. "It's getting late Kermit," he said.

Kermit nodded as he took a seat next to Piggy and Fozzie. Fozzie put his arm on Kermit's shoulder. "We can always come back tomorrow."

Kermit looked around the waiting area at the Muppet crew. Pops the doorman was asleep in a chair next to Beauregard, who kept wiping up the drool as it fell from his mouth. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew was carefully attatching a make-shift jet pack onto his reluctant assistant Beaker. The Electric Mayhem band was practicing with the instruments Animal had drug in from their bus, of course now Animal was trying to eat the instruments, as Floyd pulled his chain in prevention.

Then, Kermit looked to the hospital staff who were desperately attempting to keep up with the insanity ensuing in their lobby. "Maybe you're right Fozzie," Kermit finally said to the bear.

Just then, a nurse walked up to the party with her hair matted and tangled. "Excuse me Mr. the Frog, but visiting hours are over, you'll have to take your party and go, please!" she begged.

"WO-MAN! WO-MAN!" Animal shouted as he ran up and attacked the nurse. The nurse shrieked and ran off, and Animal followed.

"Come on man, get back!" Floyd shouted. "Yo green stuff, mind if I take Animal out for a walk?"

Kermit stood up, "Well, we'll all be heading out for a walk Floyd, I know this might shock you," Crazy Harrry popped up behind a chair.

"Did somebody say shock?!" he shouted, pressing down on a dynamite plunger, causing an explosion in one of the nurses offices.

Kermit scrunched up his face. "But we have to leave before anything worse happens.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
​

Gonzo tried to explore the vast, dark area he was stuck in, but he couldn't find anything but more blackness. For hours he floated in search of something, anything, that could help him out of here. He hated being alone. He always had.

Gonzo sighed. He searched his mind for songs about being alone. He needed something to pass the time. He vaguely remembered a song, one that wasn't truly of this world, a song from another world on this world. One inside a hole in a wall in a man's workshop.

"Well, when the path is steep and stony
And the night is all around," he began to sing.

"And the way that you must take is far away
When your heart is lost and lonely
And the map cannot be found
Here's a simple little spell that you can say:

"You've got to face facts, act fast on your own
Preperation, perspiration, dynamite determination
Pack snacks, make tracks, all alone
Don't be cute. Time to scoot.
Head out to your destination

"Chase the future, face the great unknown!" he sang, finishing the song.

The light that had transported him earlier reappeard, this time spitting something out instead of taking Gonzo in. From the light emerged two fish type creatures, swimming in the air towards Gonzo.
​

"Mister Gonzo!" they both shouted.

Gonzo squinted at the things, "Are you-"

"Cosmic Knowledge Fish!" one of them said. It was true, the two creatures were the same fish type creatures Gonzo had encountered seven years ago, before meeting his alien family. One was somewhat pink, the other bule-ish.

"Yeah!" Gonzo grinned. "What's going on? Why am I here?"

"Oh, that is a very simple question!" the pink one said.

"And a very simple question deserves a very simple answer," the other answered.

They both looked at each other. "Now..." the pink one said looking around. "Where are we?"

"That's what I want to konw!" Gonzo shouted.

"Oh!" the blue one said. "Yes, yes, of course! Mister Gonzo! Your people need you!"

"My people? You mean my family?" Gonzo asked.

"Yes! They need your help!"

"Help!"

"But, my help doing what? And they put me here because they need my help?" Gonzo asked, confused.

"Please, please, one question at a time," the blue one said. "We may be highly evolved beings but we need some sort of pace here!"

"Alright," Gonzo said slowly. "Why did they put me here?"

"Oh you do not know?" the pink asked. "I thought he was smarter than that."

"I've been here for hours! How am I supposed to know how I got here?!" Gonzo shouted.

"Well there is no need to shout!" the blue scolded.

"Gonzo inhaled deeply. "Why am I here?" he asked calmly.

"Because your people need you!"

"I KNOW MY PEOPLE NEED ME, BUT IF THEY NEED ME SO BADLY WHYD ID THEY TRAP ME IN THIS DARK ABYSS?!" Gonzo shouted as he lost his temper.

"Well if you are going to be snippy about it, we'll move on!" said the blue fish.

"See if you ever get cosmic knowledge from us again!" relied the pink.

"Hmph!" the both said, swimming off into the blackness.

"Wait!" Gonzo shouted jumping in front of them. "Just tell me why I'm here, please!"

"But Mr. Gonzo, you should know why you are here."

"After all, you were responsible for putting yourself in this coma!"

Gonzo gasped. "Coma?" he asked softly.

The two fish nodded. "Your latest stunt put you into a, how you say, deep sleep."

"But...I could've died?" he asked, as if just now realizing that he put his life on the line in each stunt he ever performed.

"Yes, and a lucky thing you didn't!"

"Mm, yes if you had, your people would have had no way to defeat the alien overlords threatining their planet!"

"What?" Gonzo asked. But it was too late, the Cosmic Knowledge Fish had vanished. Gonzo looked everywhere, but they were nowhere in sight. "No! Nooo! Come back! I don't want to be alone!" he shouted into the darkness.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
​

Kermit saw off the three vehicles in teh hospital parking lot. The Electric Mayhem bus, Johnny Fiama's red Corvette and Clifford's black Mustang drove away.

Fozzie placed a hand on Kermit's shoulder. "Kermit, are you sure you don't want a ride?" Fozzie asked.

Kermit nodded, "Yeah Fozzie, I think I need to take a walk," the frog said to his best friend.

Fozzie removed his hand and smiled. "Alright Kermit, just remember," Fozzie hugged Kermit, "I'm always here for you."

Kermit smiled his froggy grin. "Thank you Fozzi, that means a lot."

Fozzie nodded and entered his studebaker. He started the engine and closed the door.

Kermit watched once more as his last friend drove away back to the Muppet Boarding House. But, Fozzie wasn't truly his last friend. Kermit began to walk down the sidewalk leading away fromt he hospital. His last friend couldn't come to the hospital with them, he was bound by rules because he was not living. It was time to see Uncle Deadly.

Kermit made his way through the town, admiring the various stores and businesses along the way. But the most admirable of the structures in the town was of course the tall neon "MUPPET" sign above the Muppet Theater. the red letters each lit up after the other in the dark summer night.

Kermit walked to the alley on the right of the theater, his business was not inside. He climbed the ladder hung on the side of the wall to the roof of the old building. Kermit climbed to the top, watching a step that he had learned before was loose. When he reached the top he looked around the roof. A small section was lit up by the red neon sign on the theater, the rest was pitch black.

Behind Kermit, a figure rose from the shadows. It reached out a clawed blue hand with a finger extended. It tapped Kermit's shoulder.

Kermitw as so shocked that he left the roof and yelped. He turned around and saw the blue dragon-like creature. Kermit sighed in relief at his phantom friend. "Oh Uncle Deadly, it's just you."

Uncle Deadly struck a match and held it up to his face, "We really need to get some lights up here," the phantom said. Kermit smiled at the spook's witty attitude. "Come my friend, let us reconvene elsewhere."

Uncle Deadly lifted a wood panel ont he roof revealing a set of stairs leading downward. Uncle Deadly grabbed a torch and extended his arm motioning for Kermit to lead down the stairs. Kermit did, and descended the flight down into Uncle Deadly's private quarters. Inside were two tattered and torn magenta armchairs, a table with a cracked tea set on it and a small makeshift bed. "Make yourself at home frog," Uncle Deadly said, motioning for Kermit to take a seat.

Kermit did as he was invited and sat in the under stuffed chair. Uncle Deadly walked over to the table and poured tea into two of the china cups. "Green tea?" Uncle Deadly asked Kermit. Kermit took the cup and sipped it slowly. "I thought you might, it does suit you." Uncle Deadly sat in the other armchair drinking the tea as well. "You are wondering about your friend the weirdo I assume?" the phantom asked.

Kermit set the tea on the arm of the chair and nodded. "Is he going to be okay?" Kermit asked.

Uncle Deadly took another drink of his tea. "I'm not sure," Uncle Deadly said. "But I have not heard anything from Death regarding a long nosed blue creature," Uncle Deadly smiled.

Kermit sighed, not even Uncle Deadly could tell him. "Uncle Deadly, were...Were you there? Did you see it happen?" Kermit asked.

Uncle Deadly looked up from his teacup. "Where else could I have been Kermit?" he asked. "But yes, I did indeed see it happen."

Kermit rubbed his eye, "I only wish I could have been."

"You do know how it happened, do you not?"

Kermit shook his head. "I didn't think to ask anyone at the hospital."

Uncle Deadly clawed the armchair in anger. "Gonzo's cannon fired disproportionally, Sweetums slipped on a puddle of water, knocking the cannon off kilter so to speak."

Kermit gulped, "Was it that rough?"

"He blew through the brick wall under the balcony."

Kermit sighed, he stood up from his chair and looked directly at Uncle Deadly. "Thank you Uncle Deadly, I know you don't enjoy involving yourself with us, and I know you don't really care for Gonzo, or any of us, but-"

"Don't care?" Uncle Deadly repeated. "You believe I do not care about my family?"

"Well I just thought that-"

"You thought that cruel old Uncle Deadly doesn't want safety for his family? That cruel old Uncle Deadly enjoys seeing people suffer and being in pain?" Uncle Deadly said, standing up from his chair as well. "Do you know what it's like, not to be able to see yoru family at all points in the day? What it's like to see them injured and not see them heal? No frog, you wouldn't! You are not trapped here Kermit!" Uncle Deadly threw his arms out to his sides. "Because I could not be there to see Gonzo meet his family you assume I do not care?

"Uncle Deadly I'm sorry, I had no idea!" Kermit said as he cowered beneath the phantom's rage.

Uncle Deadly saw his friend as he buckled underneath him. Uncle Deadly began to calm down at the sight. "Of course not Kermit," he exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It is not your fault that I put on the act I do. That I don't show how much I really do care for all of you, each and every one." Uncle Deadly extended his palm to Kermit. "I do care. Really I do."

Kermit rushed past his hand and gave the phantom a hug. Uncle Deadly looked down at Kermit and patted his back. "I'll let you know if I hear more of Gonzo's condition my friend."

Kermit let go of him. "Thank you Uncle Deadly. You always do come through for us."

Uncle Deadly smiled. "Thank you my fiend. Now, you better return hom before the twilight ends, that's when the town looks its best."

Kermit nodded and left Uncle Deadly's private area returning to the roof of the theater. He climbed back down the ladder to the alley below, and began his walk home to the Muppet Boarding House. He looked about the town once more. All of the street lights shining down on the road, some stores and buisnesses with lights on their signs. "You're right Uncle Deadly," Kermit whispered. "This is the most beautiful time," the frog said before walking away.​

 

[muppetwriter]

This next chapter of Ryan's memorable tale features the two original characters who will be starring in the next Spidey/Muppets crossover.


Chapter 4

Gonzo sat alone in the dark area still. He was pndering what the Cosmic Fish of Knowlege had said to him. "My people need me..." he said to himself. "But, what about my friends, they need me too. And Camilla..." he scratched his head. "What if I don't come back...I can't keep risking my life like this."

For a moment he recalled most of his stunts, now it was obvious to Gonzo how dangerous his feats truly were. He was lucky that he wasn't dead. It couldn't go on, he decided. It had to stop, "From this day forward," he announced to no one. "I, the Great Gonzo, shall no longer perform death defying stunts and feats of daring.

As if on cue, the light returned, this time brighter than ever before. A tall cloaked figure emerged from the light. It floated its tall form towards the weirdo.

Gonzo shuddered. "Are you...Are you Death?" he asked.

The figure shook its cloaked head and pointed to an area in the blackness, from the black came Gonzo himself, dressed as Charles Dickens with Rizzo, who was gnawing an apple as they appeared on some sort of screen.

Gonzo gasped in realization. "You're the Ghost of Christmas yet to Come!" the specter nodded. "But it's July," Gonzo said. The figure pointed to Gonzo. "Wait...You must be here...Are you here to show me what's yet to come from me?"

The ghost nodded again and pointed back to where Charles Dickens Gonzo stood. FWOOSH. The picture changed. Gonzo watched as Robin the Frog cowered in front of a large shadow. FWOOSH. The door leading into Muppet Labs fell to the floor. FWOOSH. Fozzie, Piggy, Pepe, Rizzo and Animal were trapped behind a cage of lasers. FWOOSH. Gonzo llooked away from the screen and to the ghost. "I have to know, are these things that will happen if I do go to help my family, or things that will happen if I don't?

The ghost looked at Gonzo and then turned to the screen, he pointed his long blue finger out one last time.

FWOOSH. Kermit stood watching something. "Stop this!" he shouted. "Stop this right now! Leave Gonzo alone!" the floor underneath Kermit's feet broke open and Kermit fell.

Gonzo sat up in the hospital bed, inside the dark hospital room, his eyes shot open.

"KERMIT!"

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Kermit walked up the porch stairs leading into the Muppet Boarding House. Through the window he could see a light on in the living room. He opened the door and heard a tune coming from the living room. Kermit walked in and saw Rowlf sitting at the piano in the corner of the room playing a song.​

Rowlf turned around and saw Kermit. "Hey Kermit."​

"Hiya Rowlf," Kermit said leaning on the doorway. "What are you still doing up?"​

"Someone had to wait up for you, and me and the piano had a little date anyway," Rowlf played a cord. "How're you doin'?"​

"I'm okay Rowlf, but, uh, I think I just wanna head on to bed."​

Rowlf shook his head. "No you don't."​

Kermit looked at him puzzled. "I...Don't?" Kermit asked.​

Rowlf shook his head again and played the piano while he talked. "Call it a natural animal instinct," he said. "But I know you don't just wanna go up to bed without talking."​

Kermit smirked and sat down on the piano bench with Rowlf. "You know me too well Rowlf."​

Rowlf smiled. "So what's on your mind Kermit?"​

"Same thing," Kermit sighed. "Gonzo, I'm just so worried about him. Worried about when he'll be better, if he'll be better, what we'll do if he isn't better."​

"Why Kermit?" Rowlf asked.​

"Why Rowlf?" Kermit asked, confused.​

Rowlf played a familiar tune on the piano. "Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side
Rainbows are visions but only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide​

"So we've been told and some choose to believe it," Rowlf sang.
"I know they're wrong wait and see
Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me."​

Kermit sighed, "Rowlf, I'm not sure that this is the right time."​

Rowlf shook his head. "It's always the right time."​

"Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning stars
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
Look what it's done so far."​

Kermit smiled and began to agree with his old friend and decided to sing along. "What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
And what do we think we might see
Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me."​

"All of us under it's spell, we know that it's probably magic
Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name," Rowlf and Kermit harmonized.​

"Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors
The voice might be one in the same," Rowlf sang.​

"I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'possed to be," Kermit replied.​

"Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me," Rowlf added.​

"The lovers, the dreamers and me," Kermit finished.​

Rowlf nodded, "Yeah," he said.​

"Thanks Rowlf," Kermit said. "That song does make me feel better."​

"I thought it might," Rowlf said, still playing the piano.​

Can I go to bed now Rowlf? I really am tired," Kermit smiled.​

Rowlf chuckled, "Yeah Kermit go on, I'll see you bright 'n' early to go and see Gonzo?" Rowlf asked.​

"You bet Rowlf," Kermit said as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom, he stopped halfway, looked down at the stair, and then back to Rowlf. "Hey Rowlf?"​

Rowlf looked up from the keys. "Yeah Kermit?"​

"Thanks again."​

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Inside a cleverly disguised cement factory, a large blue furry creature sat at a desk in a black suit. He had some purple hair sticking out of the top of his head, and a bottom lip that stuck up to where his nose would be, although he didn't have one. His large lip had one tooth on the right side and a tuft of purple hair forming a beard.​

"Clyde!" the Muppet shouted.​

A smaller pink Muppet with a long beak, droopy eyes and magenta hair came fumbling into the room. "Y-Y-Yes B-B-Butch-I mean boss-Boss Butch...Yes?" he asked.​

"Did you find the file I asked for?" the Muppet named Butch asked.​

"Yeah, uh huh, uh huh, it's right here!" Clyde said handing Butch a file folder with a large red "TOP SECRET" stamp on the front.​

"Great! You finally did something right shorty," Butch said opening the folder up and shuffling through the papers. "Hey, look at this," Clyde walked around to the other side of the desk. "Says here that Ed Singer was hot on the case of one 'Gonzo the Great' a self-proclaimed alien, before he mysteriously disappeared. He hasn't been heard from in seven years."​

"Ooh, that's cool! What's it say about the alien?" Clyde asked as he peered over Butch's shoulder.​

Butch looked down at him and pushed his head off of his shoulder. Clyde stood up and dusted himself off. "Says that the alien returned hime to 44 Bronson Lane where he lives in a big boarding house with a buncha furry things."​

"We're furry things!" Clyde said.​

"Really?" Butch asked sarcastically. "I couldn't tell," he shook his head. "Hey, looky here, it also says that Singer had an assistant, Bobo Rentro Bear."​

"What's it say about him?"​

"You really talk too much, you know that?" Butch said. He turned back to the papers, "Says the bear quit here and C.O.V.N.E.T. and now lives at the same boarding house with the alien."​

"Well," Clyde said walking back to the front of the desk. "That's pretty cool, ah well, it's quitting time Butch, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Clyed said as he punched the clock near the exit.​

"Hold up small fry!" Butch said as he jumped in front of his pink sidekick. "I think I feel a plan formin' here. So, instead of coming back here to work tomorrow morning, meet me at this 44 Bronson Lane place, got it?"​

Clyde scratched his head. "Okay boss...If you say so..."​

 

[muppetwriter]

Chapter 5

The next morning, Kermit, Rowlf, Fozzie, Camilla and Rizzo had all piled into Kermit's green mini-van. Kermit took the driver's seat, Fozzie took passenger's and the other three climbed in back.

The rest of the Muppets stayed behind at the boarding house, they would head to the hospital later in the day. Kermit drove his van to the hospital parking lot and pulled into a slip. "Alright guys," Kermit said eyeing the group getting uot of the car with him. "Whatever happens when we get inside, we just have to believe that Gonzo's gonna pull through. Right?"

"Right!" the others agreed.

Camilla, Rizzo and Rowlf walked off towards the door. Kermit began to walk off as well, but Fozzie stopped him. "Kermit?" Fozzie asked.

Kermit turned around. "Yeah Fozzie?"

"Kermit, what if Gonzo...Doesn't...You know..."

Kermit looked at his feet. "Fozzie, we just have to believe. That's got us far before," Kermit smiled.

"Yeah but...But Gonzo...Gonzo he's hurt Kermit...Hurt bad, how much believing can we possibly do?"

Kermit put his arm around Fozzie's shoulder. "Life's like a movie, write your own ending, keep believing keep pretending."

Fozzie smiled and nodded. "Yeah, thanks Kermit."

"You're welcome Fozzie," Kermit replied as he and Fozzie walked the rest of the way into the hospital.


* * * * * * * * * * * *


A tall alien walked down a massive hallway of a space station, he was being passed by other members of his kind. To his left were three massive glass windows revealing the starry skyline and two moons.

The alien wore a tall golden hat (to cover his tall head), and a shining golden cape over his red vest coat covering his molting gray-blue feathers.

When he reached a door at the end of the hallway, he grabbed the handles and pulled it open. He walked inside and towards and large screen depicting Gozno in his hospital bed. "Kermit!" Gonzo shouted. The screen rewound itself back to Gonzo unconscious in the bed. "Kermit!" he shouted again.

"So he has awoken?" the alien asked a large human male in a purple cape cut beneath his shoulder blades that was standing in front of him.

The man turned to face him. "Yes Onzgo," he said. "He's been awake since early morning on Earth, his friends are on their way to his room."

The alien called Onzgo nodded. "Very good Zongo, now, go to Des Filmer. And here, give him this message to send to Gonzo," Onzgo said, handing the man a piece of paper.

The man named Zongo half-bowed. "Yes sir," he walked out an automatic door. The man was once an Earthling, his name used to be K. Edgar Singer. His life on Earth was full of ridicule. They'd call him names like "Weirdo," "Freak Boy," and "Paranoid Delusional Psychopath." But that's why he left that life behind to come to outer space with a group of aliens that landed on Earth to greet their long-lost brother Gonzo. He was quickly loved by the aliens for his physical humor, he was adorned with a cape, renamed Zongo and was given the position of Ambassador to Earth. This is where he truly belonged.

He made his way to the cafeteria where he knocked on a door three times. "Mr. Filmer? It's Zongo, Onzgo needs you."

The door cracked open and an alien poked his long orange nose out. "Needs me for what?" the alien asked.

"Well, um, your special brand of, well, food, to make contact with his brother on Earth."

"Again?" the alien asked as he opened the door fully. "Well, it has been seven Earth years since last time. Come on in!" he motioned to Zongo.

"Thank you Des," Zong said as he moved inside.

Des Filmer wore large yellow spectacles on his eyes, and a white lab coat. "Now, what would the big boss prefer this time?" he asked.

Zongo scratched his hed, "Well, I'm not sure, I assume he'd want you to manipulate whatever they're having for lunch today on Earth."

"And how do we find out what that is?" Des asked.

"Turn your monitor on channel 10-57PM," Zongo said.

Des Filmer picked up a remote control, "Now, do I type the number then press the square?"

"No, no the square, then the number, then the oval, then the cylinder and finally the star," Zongo explained.

Des Filmer looked at the remote, then handed it to Zongo. "Here, you do it! Danged universal remote," Des muttered.

Zongo pushed a series of buttons on the remote and pointed it at a wall that lit up revealing a monitor. On the monitor, a chef was preparing a tray of spaghetti with two meatballs on top inside a cafeteria."Ah, here we are, looks like spaghetti's on the menu today Des."

Des grinned. "Ooh! A tricky one! Fabulous!" he walked over to a system of wires and cords dangling from the ceiling. At the end of the wires was a metal glove sitting on a table. Des Filmer slipped the glove on his hand. His thumb through the bottom, his other three fingers through the top. "Now it's all a simple matter of puppetry!"


* * * * * * * * * * * *


Gonzo lay awake in his bed in the hospital. His four limbs were still either bandaged or in slings. He turned his head and glanced at the clock that read 11:48AM. Gonzo looked back to the ceiling and sighed. "Where is everyone?" he asked the air.

"I've been askin' that question for two months now!" an elderly voice said from behind a sheet to the right of Gonzo.

"Who said that?" Gonzo asked.

The sheet pulled back and an old man lay in a bed next to Gonzo. "Me! Arnie," said an old, bald man to the right of Gozno.

"Oh, hi," Gonzo said, he didn't know that he had a neighbor. "Um, I'm, uh, I'm Gonzo."

"Nice to meet ya," Arnie said. "And nice to see ya awake, you've been out like a light for almost a day!"

Gonzo nodded, "Yeah, I know, thanks for the concern though."

Just before Arnie could answer, a chicken burst through the door. "Gonzo!" she clucked loudly.

Gonzo turned to look at the door as Camilla darted in and jumped atop his bed, clucking and pecking him. Gonzo laughed. "Camilla, Camilla, watch the casts!"

"No one ever watches my casts," Arnie sighed as he rolled back over in his bed. Gonzo looked at him, but got distracted by the rat that dove on top of him.

"You little-You had me worried-You're okay! Ha ha!" Rizzo said.

Kermit, Fozzie and Rowlf all walked in as well. "Ah! You were wrong Gonzo, one of these days my jokes will not kill you!"

Gonzo laughed. "I guess I was Fozzie," he said.

"Well Fozzie," Rowlf said examining the casts. "I'd say you came pretty close."

Kermit watched as Gonzo hugged and reunited with the others. "It's good to have you back Gonzo," he said, smiling at the weirdo.

The others quieted down and Gonzo smiled back. "Thanks Kermit, it's good to be back."


* * * * * * * * * * * *


After about ten minutes of talking to Gonzo, calling the boarding house to tell the other Muppets he was alright and Arnie falling asleep finally a nurse brought in a tray of spaghetti for Gonzo.

"Eat up now," the nurse said as she left the room.

"Thanks I will," Gonzo called after her.

Fozzie looked at the spaghetti and grimaced. "What's the deal with hospital food?"

Rowlf laughed. Rizzo rubbed his hands together. "Hey, I'll take it if you don't want it."

"Thanks Rizzo, but I think I'll keep it," Gonzo said as he picked up his fork and began to bring it down on the pasta.

"Gonzo? Is that you?" the spaghetti asked, causing all the Muppets in the room to jump.

Gonzo stared at it, Kermit and the others moved closer and looked at the meal strangely. "Gonzo, what's going on?" Kermit asked.

"It must be my family again, they're contacting me through my food, just like last time!" Gonzo said to Kermit. He returned his attention to his meal. "Yeah, this is Gonzo."

"Great! Now, we were wondering when you could come out to space with us," the spaghetti asked.

The other Muppets looked at each other. "Out to space?" Fozzie asked.

"Yeah you know," the spaghetti said. "The great beyond, the final frontier? Wait, who is this?"

"Fozzie," the bear replied.

"Just one of my friends," Gonzo said. "But uh, I don't know if I'll be going into space with you guys," he said to the food.

"Not going?" it asked. "But why?"

"I'm done with all that," Gonzo said plainly. "No more life-threatening situations."

Kermit gasped. "Gonzo, are you serious?"

Gonzo nodded. "Yeah, no more."

"But Gonzo," the plate of food said. "We need you. You're the only one who can save us. If you don't come, no one will be able to help us!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't help you!" Gonzo said back.

"But if you don't, we'll all die!" the spaghetti said.

All was silent. "Die?" Rowlf asked.

"Yes Fozzie," the spaghetti said to the dog.

"That's Rowlf," Fozzie said quietly. "I'm Fozzie."

The spaghetti turned to the bear. "Oh yeah, you've got the hat," he turned back to Gonzo. "Help us Gonzo the Great, you're out only hope."

"What is dis, Star Trek?" Rizzo whispered to Kermit.

Gonzo looked down at his food, and over to each of his friends. This was a matter of life or death now. "Kermit," Gonzo said to the frog. "What do you think?"

Kermit looked down at his feet and held his hands to his chest. "Well Gonzo...We...We'll all be here for you when you get back."

Gonzo nodded. "Alright, I'll help you."

The spaghetti cheerd. "Great! Now, do you have transportation?"

Gonzo thought for a minute, "Well, Bunsen and Beaker did build a rocket once."

"Didn't work worth a darn," Rowlf muttered.

"Yeah," Gonzo said. "I can get there."

"Great! So you can fly up on Thursday?"

"What? Thursday? That's in two days! And my bones are broken!" Gonzo said.

"That's never stopped you before!" Rizzo said.

"Yeah, and besides that, they're already completely healed," the spaghetti said.

"What?" all the Muppets asked.

"Yup, we Gonzonians have highly advanced immune systems."

"Gonzonians?" Kermit asked.

"You bet little lizard man," the pasta said. "That's our species."

"Wow," Gonzo said, taking the sling off his arm and moving it about. "I was named after our species..."

"So Thursday then?" the spaghetti asked once more.

"Yeah, yeah, Thursday's fine."

"Great! Oh, and you can go ahead and eat me now, you'll need-"

"My strength, I know I know," Gonzo said, sticking his fork into the food.

"See you Thursday!" it said once more, making the other Muppets jump.

"Thursday, yeah," Gonzo shook his head. "He does that every time."

 

[muppetwriter]

More appearances by the two infamous "C.O.V.ies", Butch and Clyde, in this next chapter.

Chapter 6

Scooter stood at the door of the Electric Mayhem bus with his handy clipboard. "Alright, Yolanda, Yorrick, Zippity Zap and Zoot," Scooter checked off on his list as a female rat, purple skull, teal frog like creature wearing sunglasses and a hat and the fifty year-old burnt out Zoot boarded the bus. Scooter flipped through the pages on his checklist. "Well, we're only missing one person...Where is-Oh, it's my name, heh."

Clifford, who was standing nearby, shook his head. "Head 'em up move 'em out Scoot," he said as he climbed on the bus as well. "You Bobo, you sure you're gonna be alright watching the house by yourself?" Clifford called to a large brown bear standing on the porch.

The bear laughed. "Yeah boss, don't worry, I got it all under control here, go on, just make sure you bring our little blue buddy back!" Bobo the Bear called back.

"A'ight dude," Clifford called as Scooter climbed on the bus as well. "Ok Dr. Teeth, get this old thing to the hospital!"

"You got it Cliff, it's time to move this groove thing, heh heh!" Dr. Teeth laughed as he pulled the bus out of the driveway.

Miss Piggy stuck her head out of one of the busses windows. "I can't believe moi let vous talk me into riding in this smelly bus with you bunch of weirdos!" she shouted as the bus drove down the road.

Sam Eagle stuck his head out another window. "I agree whole-heartedley and Americanly!"

Bobo turned back into the boarding house and walked into the kitchen. "Welp, I'm all by myself...Alone..." he looked around the empty house. "Better make some jalapeno sandwiches for the guys when they get back, Gonzo loves those jalapenos!" he said as he moved into the kitchen.

Bobo moved through the kitchen spreading peanut butter on the bread and putting jalapenos on top. The bear didn't always go by Bobo, in fact, seven years ago when he worked at the secret government agency C.O.V.N.E.T. he wen tby Rentro. As it turned out, Rentro was his middle name.

As Bobo placed a second sandwich on top of the first he prepared, he heard a knocking at the door. "Oh boy, that could be my new "Buns of Steel" work out tape!" he said as he walked towards the door. He opened it up and saw two furry creatures standing on the porch. One was taller, wider and blue and the other was shorter, skinnier and pink. "Hello," the blue one said. "I'm Butch, this is my cohort Clyde here, and um, we're looking for Rentro, is he in?"

"Nope," Bobo said. "I like Bobo better," the bear smiled.

"Oh hi!" Clyde said. "We've read all about you in a secret file and-"

"Shut it Clyde!" Butch said as he smacked Clyde in the stomach. "Sorry, Bobo," Butch said. "But uh, we're from C.O.V.N.E.T. Don't know if you remember, but we used to work together," Butch lied, hoping this dim-witted bear believed him.

Bobo stared at the blue monster. "Well c'mon in!" Bobo said. "It's always great to meet fellow C.O.V.ies. Heh, that's what I call us, C.O.V.ies."

Butch sighed in relief. "Thanks, I think we will come in," he said as he dragged Clyde inside the boarding house.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
​

The doctors had examined Gonzo's bones, and it was true, he had been completely healed, and was being released from the hospital early.

The weirdo stood over his bed, packing the few belongings Camilla had brought yesterday. The thought he was all alone right now, the others had gone to lunch in the cafeteria. But he wasn't the only one in the room.

"So they're lettin' ya out, huh?" Arnie said as he walked over on a cane.

Gonzo looked at the old man. "Yeah," he said, closing his suitcase. "So Arnie, we never got to talk, why are you in the hospital?"

Arnie sat down on Gonzo's bed and sighed. "It's the cancer my friend."

"What?!" Gonzo shouted. "You've got cancer?"

Arnie nodded. "And if I wasn't cooped up in here, I'd be out livin' my life to the fullest!"

Gonzo shrugged. "I used to think the same way," he sighed.

"What happened?"

"I realized how much I had to life for, and that it wasn't worth risking myself if I could never see them again."

Arnie turned to Gonzo. "Huh, never thoguht of it that way," he said. "Of course that could be because I don't have anything or anyone really worth living for."

Gonzo sat down next to him. "What? No family?"

Arnie shook his head. "Nope, my wife Helga passed on about a year ago, and my son and I don't speak any longer."

"But...How..." Gonzo stood up. "I tell you what Arnie, I've got a trip to go on tomorrow, but as soon as I get back, I'm coming back here and picking you up, and I"m gonna show you the time of your life!"

Arnie stared at Gonzo. "Do you really mean that?"

Gonzo nodded. "Yeah, I promise," he said extending his hand to Arnie.

Arnie grabbed the feathery blue hand and pulled himself off the bed. "Thanks Gonzo, that means more than you know," he hugged the weirdo.

Gonzo hugged him back. "No problem Arnie, you cared for me, and you didn't even know me, and that's more than enough thanks," Gonzo picked up his suitcase. "Now, stay put, or else I won't know where to find you when I get back!"

Arnie laughed. "Yeah I promise," he winked.

Gonzo smiled and walked out of the room.
​

* * * * * * * * * * * *
​

Zongo returned to the quarters of Onzogo to report on Gonzo's condition. "Sir, Des Filmer has delivered your message, and Gonzo will be joining us in two Earth days."

Onzgo nodded. "Thank you Ed."

Zongo looked puzzled. "Ed?"

Onzgo shook his head. "Sorry, sorry Zongo. Do forgive me, it's just my mind, it seems to be slipping these days."

Zongo nodded. "It's quite alright sir, shall I leave you alone?" he asked.

Onzgo nodded. "Please, if any news comes in on Gonzo, report it to me immediately."

"But of course," Zongo said, bowing. As he left, he turned back to the leader and sighed. It was coming to and end.

Onzgo sat alone in his dark, secluded chamber, pondering life, his life and the lives of others. It all seemed like such a blur now, and he let it pass by. He should have enjoyed it more while it lasted, but it was too late now. Onzgo was dying.

A voice echoed over the alien's large head. "Pardon the interruption my leader, but there's a video call for you," the voice said.

"Put it through," Onzgo said. He turned to the wall where an alien stood in a dark black cape and a bright red suit. His nose was long like a Gonzonian's, except thicker and gray. His sleek black skin showed off his glowing yellow eyes, that were much smaller than a Gonzonian's.

The alien stared down. "Onzgo, I have my ships and weapons ready, I can obliterate your entire fleet and the star ship the remainder of your species lives on, just like I did your planet," it said in a deep, booming voice.

Onzgo glared at the brute. "I have heard your threats before Exod, and your demands are being met. Why do you insist on torturing me and my people?"

Exod laughed a deep maniacal laugh. "Because it's so much fun for me of course! And as always, to deliver the friendly reminder that if my demands aren't met by the dedlin, I will strike and you will rue the day your people crossed me."

The wall turned off and Exod disappeared. Exod's many demands were outrageous, ten-million Szkexels (the Gonzonian form of currency), an entire fleet of high powered, dual-engine, hyper drive compatible ships and finally, to marry Onzgo's only daughter Flanzgo.

His daughter was often reveared as the most beautiful Gonzonian ever spawned. Her radiant pink feathers and purple beak made her near irresistable to admirers. And she was Onzgo's pride and joy.

This is why Gonzo was needed. Gonzo could unlock the secrets from the remains of their planet that was destroyed when Gonzo was launched to Earth in an escape pod many Earth years ago.

Now all Onzgo had to do was wait for his little brother to arrive.

Waiting was never one of his strong suits.
​

* * * * * * * * * * * *
​

"So Bobo," Butch said. "Uh, we read-HEARD! Heard, sorry, we heard that you've uh, got an alien in the house."

Bobo placed a plate of sandwiches in the middle of the table where Butch and Clyde sat. "Well not right now," Bobo said sitting down. "Y'see, he had a little accident, he's in the hospital right now."

Butch and Clyde looked at each other. "Well, that's really the only reason we came," Clyde said, standing up. "We'll be seein' ya Mr. Bobo."

Butch pulled the pink Muppet back down. "Sorry for my assistant Bobo, but he's a little tense," Butch said kicking Clyde under the table. "But, uh, do you have any idea when the alien might be home?"

Bobo scratched his head. "Hold on just a second there, you don't have any of those, uh, those really big guns do ya?"

"Not with us, but-" Clyde began.

Butch clamped his hand over Clyde's beak. "No way Bobo, we would never, ever think of harming your friend the alien. We just want an autograph, we're huge fans," Butch lied.

Bobo stared at the two of them and stroked his chin. "Well me too! But, uh, just make sure you ask for the autograph at the right time, if you know what I mean," Bobo whispered to Clyde.

Clyde smiled and nodded. "How much do you think we could get for one of those autographs on Ebay?" Butch kicked Clyde again. "OW! Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?" Bobo asked.

Butch picked up a sandwich. "Making these delicious sandwiches, heh heh..."

"Uh..." said Bobo, confused.

"Never mind, never mind," Butch shook his head. "But, uh, just outta curiosity here, does your little alien friend have a spaceship?"

"A spaceship?" Bobo asked as he was cleaning up the plates from lunch. "Well Gonzo doesn't have one, but I guess Bunsen and Beaker do have a couple down there in the basement..."

Butch stood up. "Great! Thanks so much, that's all we needed to konw," he said pulling Clyde out of his chair and pushing him towards the door.

"Yeah! Thanks!" Clyde said. "And any chance you can get me that autograph?"

"Yeah sure, no problem little buddy, heh heh," Bobo laughed as the two "C.O.V.ies" walked out the door.​

 

[muppetwriter]

This next chapter has a lot in common with this thread--there's a celebration involved, complete with a jacuzzi!


Chapter 7

After Gonzo had returned home to the boarding house on Tuesday afternoon, it was decided that a huge party would be held in Gonzo's honor in the Muppet's backyard. Sweetums and the other Muppet monsters strung lights and set up tables and chairs outside. And the jacuzzi was reopened just for the occasion.

When night came, all of the Muppets residing in the boarding house joined in the party outside. The Electric Mayhem jammed on their instruments all night long.

Rizzo, who was in his bathing suit, grabbed a plate of cheese cubes off the buffet table. Clifford lowered his sunglasses from where he stood behind the punch bowl. "You got enought cheese there Riz?"

Rizzo shrugged. "Hey, I'm just tryin' not to cause too many lines by just takin' it all!" the rat said as he walked back to the jacuzzi and hopped in next to Pepe.

"Jou know Ritzo, maybe it's a good t'ing dat we didn't tell Gonso about dis jacuzzi," Pepe said, turning on the jets.

"You still haven't told him?!" Rizzo shouted.

"Well jou know, I was just waiting for de right time and it hasn't come up jet," Pepe said.

"Pepe you have to tell him! Now!" Rizzo demanded.

"No way, hokay? I can't ruin Gonso's night, I mean just look, he's having his own poultry party!" Pepe said as he motioned to Gonzo who was dancing with Camilla.

Rizzo looked at his best friend, "Alright, I guess it can wait. But you have got to tell him before he leaves on Thoisday!"

"Si, I will tell him, hokay?"

"You will."

"Si, I will! Dios mio, lay off, hokay?"

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Butch and Clyde sat on a hill behind the Muppet Boarding House. Butch looked through his pair of binoculars down at the party. "Alright Clyde, we gotta go now! They're all out of the house!"​

Clyde nodded. "Yeah! That party looks like so much fun! I brought my swimming suit just for the jacuzzi!"​

"We're not going to the party you idiot!"​

"Aww, we're not?"​

"No, we're going to steal a rocket ship from the basement!"​

"Why do we need a rocket again?"​

"Because, we're gonna go into space and find an entire race of aliens and earn our place at C.O.V.N.E.T.!" Butch explained.​

Clyde nodded. "Oh, ok, I get it...The basement?"​

"Yes the basement!"​

"To the basement!" Clyde shouted.​

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Meanwhile, inside the basemen, Bunsen and Beaker were putting the finishing touches on a rocket. "Screwdriver please Beaker," Bunsen asked his assistant.​

"Mee me mo," Beaker said as he anded Bunsen a screwdriver.​

Bunsen turned a srew on the rocket and tossed the screwdrvier behind his shoulder. Beaker had to pull his head inside his lab coat to avoid teh flying tool. "Please Beaker, this is no time for fooling around, we must get this rocket ship fixed before Mr. Gonzo needs to blast off on Thursday! Now may I plesase have the sledgehammer?"​

Beaker's meeps inside his lab coat were muffled as he handed Bunsen a hammer. Bunsen gently hammered on the rocket, then swung the hammer around, hitting Beaker's chest, sending his head popping from his lab coat. "Beaker, I think I'll use the chainsaw instead," Bunsen decided.​

Beaker tossed his hands up and shook his head. "Mo mo mee!" Beaker begged.​

"Oh come now Beaker," Bunsen said as he started up the saw. "I only cause you to get forty-three stitches last time, how much worse could it get?"​

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Back outside, the party was beginning to wind down, and the band caught the drift and began to play a slow song.​

Kermit was sitting at a table holding Robin, who was sound asleep, in his lap. Gonzo came up to Kermit holding Camilla at his side. "Hey Kermit," Gonzo whispered. "I just wanted to thank you again for the party, it's been great."​

"No problem Gonzo," Kermit whispered back. "We're all just happy to see you again."​

Gonzo nodded and rubbed Robin's little head. "The little guy's had a big day," he said.​

Kermit smiled. "Go on Gonzo, you and Camilla go dance."​

"Bawk bawk," Camilla nudged Gonzo.​

"Ok honey, let's go," the weirdo said to his chicky-poo Camilla as they walked back onto the dance floor.​

Kermit sighed and stroked Robin's head. He hummed the tune to "Bein' Green" to his sleeping nephew. It had been a long day for all of them, not just Robin.​

Miss Piggy poked her head behind Kermit. "Kermie, would vous like to dance?" she asked.​

Kermit grinned, "Oh Piggy, thanks for volunteering to hold Robin while I go dance."​

Piggy growled. "I was talking about dancing with me!"​

Kermit put Robin down on a chair next to him. "I know Piggy. I guess that joke of mine bombed worse than Fozzie's."​

Kermit grabbed Piggy's hand and escorted her out to the dance area. Once there, she grabbed his back and pulled him to her chest. "Oh Kermie," she swooned.​

"Oh Piggy," Kermit said scrunching up his face.​

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Butch and Clyde walked quietly up the porch at the boarding house and pushed open the door slowly. "Shh," Butch whispered to Clyde.​

Clyde turned to a cricket chirpping in the grass. "Shh," he whispered.​

Butch grabbed Clyde's shirt collar and dragged him into the house. They tip-toed into the kitchen and teh looked at the staircase leading down into the basement. "Alright Clyde, this is it."​

Clyde was eating a piece of cake behind Butch. "I'll say! This is it! This is the best cake I've ever had!"​

Butch knocked the cake out of Clyde's hands. "Will you stop that?! This mission requires patience and decisiveness."​

"Right, right, patents and detergents," Clyde nodded.​

Butch rubbed his head. "Why me?" he asked. "C'mon, let's go."​

The two Muppets descended the stairs and were stopped by a door at the bottom that had a sign in the middle that read "Muppet Labs: Where the Future is Being Made Today!" Butch tried to turn the door knob but it didn't budge. "Dang, it's locked," Butch muttered.​

"Maybe we should knock and see if anyone's home," Clyde suggested.​

"Oh yeah, great idea, and we'll be discovered by whoever's in there!"​

"It was just a-"​

"-A stupid idea!"​

"Sorry Butch I-"​

"-Need to stop talking!"​

"Ok sorry-"​

"STOP IT!" Butch yelled. He clamped his mouth with his hands. "Look what you made me do!" Butch whispered. He put his head to the door and listened.​

"Beaker did you hear that?" one voice said.​

"Mee mo?" another responded.​

"Oh, I suppose it was just some racket from the party outside."​

A chainsaw began running, and Butch exhaled. "That was too close, c'mon Clyde, you almost blew our cover." Clyde folded his arms and glared at Butch. "I'm just sayin'."​

Butch looked up and down the door. "Aw, this'll be easy."​

The big blue brute rose his arms and formed his hands into fists and brought them down. The door to Muppet Labs fell to the floor.​

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

The crash was heard outside at the party over the Electric Mayhem's uncharacteristically quiet music. The dancers and band all stopped and everyone turned their heads toward the boarding house.​

"What the hey?" Kermit said.​

"It sounded like it came from the basement," Fozzie said, worriedly.​

"Ooh, lots of stuff for me to clean up in the morning," Beauregard remarked.​

The Muppets rushed inside and headed to the kitchen, they all stopped at the opening to the stairway.​

"Well guys, let's go," Kermit said as he began to walk down the stairs. He turned around and realized that no one was following him. "No one's coming with me?"​

All of the Muppets were visibly shaking in fear. Gonzo looked around at them and realized he should start shaking too. Having fear would take some getting used to.​

Fozzie, who was holding Rizzo to his chest, looked down at the rat and pushed him forward.​

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Thanks for the support guys," he said as he continued down the stairs.​

When he reached the bottom of the stairs he saw the door lying on the floor, and Bunsen and a charred Beaker in the same position in front of a gaping hole in the wall. "Dr. Honeydew, what happened here?" Kermit asked.​

"Oh Mr. Kermit sir! It was horrible! Two blue and pink brutes charged in and stole our Muppet Labs Outer Spacer!" Bunsen wailed.​

"And what about that gaping hole in the wall?" Kermit asked.​

"Oh, why that was the Muppet Labs Security System!"​

Kermit frowned. "You designed a security system that blows a hole in the wall?"​

"Why of course, with a hole in the wall, the robbers can escape and cause us no harm whatsoever!" Bunsen said. "Although, Beaker did get blown up along with the wall..."​

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

"Well Kermit, we've found two sets of hand and footprints and tufts of blue hair, we'll run it through a DNA scan and have the results within two or three days," a police officer told Kermit.​

"Thank you Officer Barretta," Kermit said to the officer.​

The officer nodded and left the boarding house, driving away in his squad car.​

Gonzo came up behind Kermit, he was the only other Muppet still awake. "Kermit, I'm so sorry," Gonzo said.​

Kermit turned to face the weirdo. "Sorry? But why Gonzo? You didn't do anything."​

Gonzo shrugged. "If it weren't for my party you could've been in here to stop those thives."​

"Gonzo that's crazy talk, if anyone should be apologizing it's me, I'm sorry that it was the rocket you were going to use to go see your family that got stolen," Kermit said. Gonzo sighed. "But don't worry, Bunsen and Beaker are already working on one of six more they have down there in the lab," Kermit reassured him.​

Gonzo smiled. "Yeah."​

Kermit and Gonzo walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch. "So Gonzo, tell me, why did you stop doing your stunts all of the sudden?"​

Gonzo looked at the floor as if he was ashamed of himself. "I was afraid for the first time Kermit," Gonzo said. "I realized that I would miss you all too much if I really did hurt myself."​

"But Gonzo, you heard it straight from the pasta's...Mouth, you heal almost instantly!"​

Gonzo shook his head. "I just can't do it anymore Kermit. 'Cause now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain," Gonzo sang.
"My friend, I'll say it clear, I'll state my case of which I'm certain
I've done the stunts of fools, I've blown through each and every sky-way
And more, much more than this, I'm done with my way.​

"Yes there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I'd eat it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
I'm done with my way."​

Kermit put his arm around Gonzo's shoulder, "But Gonzo, you've loved, you've laughed and cried," Kermit began to sing.
"You've had your fill, your share of losing
But now as tears subside, you should find it all so amusing
To think, you did all that, and may I say, not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no not you, you did it your way."​

"For what is an...er...man? What has he got?
If not himself, than he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels​

"The record shows, you took the blows
And did it your way!"​

"I'm sorry Kermit," Gonzo said. "I just can't anymore, I just can't. I'm done with my way."​

Kermit took his arm off Gonzo's shoulder. "Alright Gonzo, if that's what you really want," the frog said as he got up. "Goodnight Gonzo.​

Gonzo looked Kermit in the eyes, his eyes were filled with sadness and worry. "Goodnight Kermit."​

 

[muppetwriter]

Another marvelous chapter coming your way.

Chapter 8

Rizzo snored loudly as he slept in his hammock. Random items of mass collecting were flying over his head.

“Rizzo?” Gonzo asked as he shuffled through his things. Rizzo snored. “Rizzo?!” Gonzo shook Rizzo’s hammock.

Rizzo slowly awoke from his slumber. “Wha-What? I didn’t eat all da corn casserole I swear...”

“Rizzo where’d my postcards go?” Gonzo asked his roommate.

Rizzo rubbed his eyes. “Postcards? Ugh, dey’re under da sets of colored pencils, why?”

Gonzo rushed over to a stack of multi-colored pencils, throwing them behind him. “Well, on one of those postcards are the coordinates of my family’s space station.”

Rizzo watched his roommate from his hammock. “So, you’re really gonna do dis?” he asked.

Gonzo turned around, he was holding a blue and a red pencil in his hand. “Yeah Rizzo, I’m really gonna do it,” he said turning back to the pencils.

Rizzo jumped down from the hammock and walked over to his best friend. “It’s not gonna be da same here without’cha ya know.”

“Yeah well, I think you’ll all survive.”

“But will you?”

Gonzo stared at Rizzo. “What do you mean?”

“Well, dat spaghetti did say dat your family was up against somet’in’ dat could wipe out your entire species. So what’s to stop it from wipin’ you out?”

“Well, the spaghetti also said that if I came I’d be able to defeat whatever it is they’re up against, so maybe it won’t have a chance.”

Rizzo sniffed as he held back tears. “But...But what would I do without you Gonzo? I need ya bud.”

“Oh Rizzo,” Gonzo patted the rat on the back. “I’ll be okay,” he smiled. “And if I don’t come back, who’s gonna be your roommate with all this stuff in here?”

Rizzo laughed. “I guess you’re right. So, did ya find da postcards yet?”

Gonzo pulled out a small stack of postcards from beneath the colored pencils. “Yup, right here!” he shifted through the interstellar postcards. “An here’s the one with the coordinates! Um, Rizzo, I gotta go get these to Bunsen and Beaker at the theater, I’ll talk to you later, ok?”

“But Gonzo-“

“Later!” Gonzo shouted back as he ran down to the basement.

Rizzo shook his head and began to re-stack the colored pencil collection.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
​

Robin was at the kitchen table with a set of crayons. He was coloring on a piece of blank white paper. A boomerang fish flew over the frog’s head and Lew Zealand ran by, “Hang on Jana!” he stopped and turned to the table, he saw Robin and stopped to talk. “Hey, hey, Little Mr. The Frog! What’re you doing?” Lew asked.

Robin looked up from his drawing at Lew. “Oh hi Lew, I’m just drawing some pictures,” Robin said.

“Wow, well if you need any inspiration, just let me know and I can do my boomerang fish!” he ducked down and popped back up holding a fish in each hand. “Watch! I throw them a-way!” he threw one of the fish away and it smacked Bean Bunny in the back of the head. “And they come back to me!” he said, waiting for the fish to come back. “Hmm, Mairin needs more training...” he said, walking off.

Robin shook his head and returned to his pictures. A loud thumping was heard coming down the stairs, Robin turned back around and saw Gonzo. “Hey Gonzo, I have something for you!” Robin said.

“Can it wait Robin? I’ve really gotta get this to Bunsen,” he said waving a postcard.

“But I have this picture here-“

Gonzo laid two colored pencils on the table. “Here, ya go, see ya!” he said, running out the door.

“But...I drew it myself,” Robin whispered. He grabbed a piece of paper and looked down at it. On the paper, Robin had drawn a picture of Gonzo floating in space and Robin standing on a mini Earth. At the top he’d written, “Close to my soul, and yet so far away.” Robin frowned, “Well, I guess I can give it to him later,” he put the picture off to the side. “But, he is going to go back there Thursday...”

* * * * * * * * * * * *
​

“I did it Johnny’s waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!” Sal Manilla, Johnny Fiama’s butler’s monkey, sang.

One of the lenses in Clifford’s sunglasses cracked, he tossed them off his face. “Alright, next!” he shouted from the front row of seats in the Muppet Theater.


Kermit scrunched up his face as Scooter marked something on yet another checklist. “Well boss, that’s all the acts,” Scooter said.

Kermit sighed. “I guess we’ll never find anyone to replace Gonzo’s act.”

“Hey,” Sal shouted. “What was wrong with my act?”

Johnny Fiama joined his monkey on stage. “What was wrong with it? What wasn’t wrong with it? You were insulting me Sal!”

“Sorry Johnny, I was just expressing my inner feelings,” Sal shrugged.

“You’re inner feelings? Since when do you have inner feelings?”

“I’ve always had inner feelings! You just don’t pay attention to me!”

Johnny was examining his fingers. “Oh what? Sorry Sal I wasn’t paying attention. Oh and, uh, could you go get me a canolli?”

Sal sighed. “Yeah Johnny, no problem...” the monkey said as he walked off.

The front doors of the theater burst open and Gonzo darted inside. “Kermit, Kermit, Kermit! Where are Bunsen and Beaker?”

Kermit turned around. “Nice to see you too Gonzo, but, uh, last time I saw Bunsen and Beaker they were backstage testing something on...Er...Someone.”

“Thanks Kermit!” Gonzo said as he ran backstage still carrying a postcard. The set of postcards he had were all from his family in space, each of them telling him of how everything was going, or in the case of the special card in Gonzo’s hand, how to find them if he ever needed to.

He found Bunsen and Beaker backstage just as Kermit had said. They were standing over a gigantic speaker with Floyd Pepper, who was holding his bass. “Are you sure about this man?” Floyd asked.

“Oh positively Mr. Pepper!” Bunsen exclaimed. “With our new Muppet Labs Agitated Amplifier you’ll be able to blast your rock and roll until you can’t rock and roll any more!”

“Mo more!” Beaker shouted.
Gonzo walked up to the front of the speaker and looked up at the scientists and their musical man. “So what? I just hit a note?” Floyd asked.

“Ooh yes, an E preferably!” Bunsen said.

“Me mee me mo!”

Floyd shrugged. “Alright,” he brought his hand down on a string. The speaker blared and created a small breath of wind that blew Gonzo’s hair tufts back. “Whoa man!” Floyd shouted. “This is groovy!” he said before playing a series of notes, getting harder on each one, and finally slamming down on the guitar, sending Gonzo flying across the stage in a gust of jamming bass.

Gonzo landed crashed on the other side of the stage, breaking through a crate. He jumped up and out of the crate and back onto the stage looking himself over.

Clifford laughed. “Got a new stunt idea, eh Gonz?” he asked.

“No!” Gonzo shouted, making the others jump in their seats. “I’m lucky I’m not hurt!”

“Whoa man, chill out,” Clifford said.

“Chill out? Chill out?! I just had a near-death experience!” Gonzo yelled.

“Gonzo this isn’t the first time,” Kermit said.

“Actually it’s the 41,578th time,” Scooter remarked. Everyone turned to Scooter. “Well someone has to keep the numbers.”

Gonzo shook his head and stormed off the stage, back to Bunsen, Beaker, Floyd and the Agitated Amplifier. “Here,” Gonzo said, handing Bunsen the postcard. “These are the coordinates I need to head to tomorrow.”

“You alright man?” Floyd asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Gonzo muttered.

“Um, the rocket will be ready for you tomorrow Mr. Gonzo,” Bunsen said.

“Mee mo mo,” Beaker echoed.

“Great,” Gonzo said as he left the theater through the backstage door into the alleyway.

He began to walk out onto the sidewalk. He kicked a tin can in front of him into the street. A car drove over it, crunching it and sending it flying back at Gonzo’s feet. Gonzo looked down at the can and lifted his eye sockets. “That could be me...”
He heard the theater door open and close, and he heard small footsteps down the stairs. A hand sat on his shoulder, “Gonzo, you know Clifford didn’t mean what he said,”Kermit said, trying to comfort the weirdo.

Gonzo nodded. “I know Kermit, I know. I’m just really under a lot of stress right now.”


“We all know that Gonzo, and we all feel for you. We’re all pretty stressed out right now too, ya know,” Kermit said calmly. “What with the robbery, having to replace you in the show and well...You leaving Gonzo. We’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too Kermit,” Gonzo said. “I wish you all could come with me, I wish that you could just visit, and I’d visit too, then I could go back there with you.”

Kermit smiled. “Did you make that up?” Kermit asked sarcastically.

“Awhile ago, yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for seven years.”

“You’ve had that long haven’t you?”

Gonzo nodded slowly. “Yeah well, I’ve kept myself entertained, with some help of course.”

Kermit grinned, “Glad we could be of service, now come on, let’s go back inside, it’s getting ready to rain,” he said, looking up at the clouds forming in the sky above their heads. “And besides that,” the frog said, pushing Gonzo towards the door. “I need your help picking someone weird and wild to replace your act. Not that we’re hard pressed to find that sort of thing around here...”

 

[muppetwriter]

Here is a double-dose of chapters.

Chapter 9

At five am Thursday morning, four cars and a psychedelically colored bus drove down the street leading to the light house on top the sand at Cape Doom. The lime green Volkswagen Beetle was towing a trailer loaded down with a large tarp, of course there was something underneath the tarp.

The red corvette led the pack of cars down the stretch of sandy road to the lighthouse. The car parked and from either side hopped out Johnny Fiamma and Sal Minella. “Gee Johnny, don’t you feel bad about not bringing anybody else in the car with us?” Sal asked.

Johnny casually strolled over towards the light house with Sal. “Are you kidding Sal? Bring those others in my curvy crimson corvette? They could dirty it up!”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Sal said, kicking some sand. “After all that car of yours has been through I’d be pretty careful too.”

Suddenly the crunching of metal on metal was heard behind the two of them. When Johnny turned around, his car was nowhere in sight, and Bunsen’s lime green Volkswagen was in its place. “What the-Bunsen what happened here?!” Johnny shouted.

Bunsen, Beaker and Beauregard emerged from the vehicle. Bunsen approached the front of the car. “Oh my Mr. Fiamma I am sorry about that,” Bunsen said. “No worries however, I can buff out this dent in my car with the new Muppet Lab’s Fender Defender Beaker and I installed yesterday! Beaker if you would.”

Reluctantly, Beaker leaned down and pressed in on the hood of the car, sending the fender flying right off, taking Beaker with it and right into the ocean, on top a red corvette.

“My baby...” Johnny moaned. Sal patted his back as he chuckled underneath his breath.

Kermit’s green mini van, Clifford’s black sports car and finally the Electric Mayhem’s bus pulled up behind Bunsen’s Volkswagen and the trailer attached. The rest of the Muppets in the various cars joined the others on the beach.

“Ok Dr. Honeydew let’s get this show on the road,” Gonzo told Bunsen.

Beaker walked out on to the beach, dripping wet, and over to Bunsen. “Yes sir Mr. Gonzo, come now Beakie let’s get the trailer,” Dr. Honeydew said. The two scientists moved over to the trailer attached to Bunsen’s car and unhitched it. The two of them hauled the trailer over to the center of where all of the Muppets had gathered. Bunsen yanked off the tarp revealing a medium sized metallic rocket perched on the trailer.

Gonzo approached it slowly, carrying a small duffel bag with him. “Wow doc, it looks great,” he said. “Well I guess I should be on my way.”
He turned around and looked at his friends, everyone had gathered to see him off. Kermit, Fozzie, Miss Piggy, Bunsen, Beaker, Crazy Harry, Floyd, Dr. Teeth, Janice, Animal, Zoot, Lips Scooter, Rowlf, Lew, Sam, Rizzo, Pepe, Clifford, Beauregard, Johnny and Sal, Dr. Phil van Neuter, The Swedish Chef, Zippity Zap, Pops, Bobo, Link Hogthrob, Julius Strangepork, rats, cats, penguins, even Statler and Waldorf came to heckle the launch.

He felt a rubbing against his chest. He looked down and saw Camilla looking back at him. “Oh Camilla, I’ll miss you too,” he grabbed her close to him. “Until we meet again my darling,” he gave her a peck on the cheek. She pecked back, literally.

All of the Muppets offered their goodbyes.

“Gonzo go bye bye?”

“Hasta luego senor spaceman, hokay?”

“See ya Gonzo, good luck.”

“Keep your groovy blue self jammin’ out there in space Gonzo my main alien man.”

“Fer sure, make sure you like, stay rully organically cleansed out above the atmosphere.”

“Have a good trip there Gonzo.”

“Yeah see you next fall! Ahh! Wocka wocka!”

“I wish we could go into space with you.”

“I wish we could get some space from all of you!”

“Do ho ho ho!”

Kermit and Rizzo approached Gonzo from the pack. “Gonzo buddy,” Rizzo said. “I want you to take my lucky skippin’ stone wit’ ya. Now, I don’t know if dey got any water up der where your goin’ but maybe you can use it,” the rat handed his best friend a decent sized flat rock.

Gonzo took it and put it in his pants pocket. “Thanks Rizzo, I’ll take care of it. Bye Rizzo,” he hugged the rat, and the rat hugged back. This was goodbye to his best friend.

Kermit looked down at the ground, avoiding his goodbye. Gonzo turned to Kermit and smiled. “Kermit, thank you so much. And, I know I’ve told you this before but...But you’re the best friend I could ever hope for Kermit,” Gonzo said grabbing Kermit and hugging.

When Gonzo let go, Kermit smirked a bit. “Well, I know we’ve already told you this before but, we love you Gonzo,” Kermit spread his arms out, “All of us.”
All of the Muppets nodded and smiled in agreement. Gonzo nodded once too and turned to the now upright rocket ship. “Oh, Gonzo wait!” Kermit called. He handed Gonzo a folded piece of paper. “Here, it’s from Robin, you know he wanted to be here this morning, but we left him with Sweetums at the boarding house so he could sleep.”

Gonzo smiled and pocketed the picture. “Tell him I said thanks, and that I’ll miss him.” He pulled open a door on the bottom of the ship and placed his suitcase inside. He turned around and looked at his friends one more time before finally climbing into the ship.

“Okay Mr. Gonzo, just flip the switch and press the green button!” Bunsen called out as he closed the door.

“Yo Dr. Dew, you sure this is safe?” Clifford asked.

“Oh absolutely Clifford,” Bunsen said. “Our tests on the ship have proven it to have a 1/1000 chance of success!”

Clifford lowered his glasses. “Could you run that by me again?”

“Dr. Honeydew a 1/1000 success is not good!” Scooter said.

Bunsen scratched his head, “That explains why all of the inventions I’ve tested on Beaker have...Mr. Gonzo wait!”

It was too late, Gonzo had already flipped the switch and pressed the button. As the base of the rocket ignited, Gonzo looked out the window and waved. He took a seat inside the ship and waited.

The other Muppets watched on as the rocket lifted up from the ground and shot up into the early morning sky.

Rizzo had his eyes closed and his hands together. “Oh please let Gonzo make it, I’ll never steal anyone’s pizza again...Ok maybe I will, but please let Gonzo be okay!”

Gonzo faced massive turbulence inside the Earth’s atmosphere. All of the Muppets gasped as a small piece of the ship broke off and fell to the sandy Earth below.

Gonzo clenched the arm rests on his chair as the rocket broke through the atmosphere and into the great beyond.

All of the Muppets down on Cape Doom sighed in relief and began to return to their respective cars.

“Well that was anti-climactic!” Statler said.

“Are you kidding?” Waldorf asked. “That was the most excitement you’ve had since the Revolutionary War! Do ho ho ho!”

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

When Gonzo reached the vast starry reaches of space he could finally relax. Now all he had to do was wait as the ship piloted itself to his family’s space station thanks to the coordinates he had given Bunsen.

But now he was alone again. He silently hoped that it wouldn’t take too long to reach the space station. He sighed. “No one’s here for me right now...No one to talk to, no one to sing with, no one to dance with...” he stood up and walked to the center of the ship and began to dance around.

“On the floors of Tokyo
Down in London town to go go,” he looked down at the metallic flooring and saw his reflection.
“With the right direction
And the mirrors reflection
I’m dancin’ with myself

“When there’s no one else in sight
In the crowded lonely night
If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance
Now I’m a’dancin’ with myself
Dancin’ with myself
Dancin’ with myself

“Well there’s nothin’ to lose
And there’s nothin’ to prove
I’m a’dancin’ with myself,” he began to dance around and around the ship.

“Well I’ve looked all over the world
And there’s every type of girl
Well if I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance
If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance
If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance

“Dancin’ with myself
Dancin’ with myself
Dancin’ with-“

“You don’t have to dance by yourself,” a small voice said from behind him.

Gonzo jumped in the air and turned around to see Robin the Frog smiling at him.

“Robin?! Wha-What are you doing here?” Gonzo shouted.
Robin shrugged, “Well I-I haven’t really gotten much time to see you. And I wanted to come with you Gonzo.”

Gonzo fidgeted. “But, but you can’t be here! Kermit’s gonna be so worried and-And...”

“Don’t worry, I wrote him a note and left it in a place where he can’t miss it!” Robin said.

Gonzo sighed. “But Robin...You can’t be here, this is going to be too dangerous for you!”

“I’ll be okay Gonzo, you’ll be here to protect me,” Robin smiled.

Gonzo rubbed the back of his head, “Okay, but we’ll still have to call Kermit when we get to the space station. But you can’t let anyone see you! I don’t know if there are any spies, and I can’t let you get hurt.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *​

Zongo watched a monitor from the space station, he saw the rocket launch from Cape Doom. He walked through an automatic door and bumped into a red feathered, pink nosed Gonzonian. “Oh Princess Flanzgo excuse me,” the Earthling said helping the Gonzonian up from the floor.

The red feathered female dusted herself off. “It’s my fault Zongo, I should’ve been paying attention to where I was going. But I noticed you were in a hurry to, where are you off to?”

Zongo smiled at the princess, “I’m off to tell your father that your uncle Gonzo is on his way to our craft here.”

Flanzgo gasped. “He’s coming! Oh praise the sky we may be saved!”

Zongo nodded. “I’m sure he’ll be able to help us.”

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s go tell daddy!” she said running off.

“Wait for me!” Zongo called after her.


Chapter 10

Flames erupted from the windows of a C.O.V.N.E.T. office building.

Inside a rocket was perched on its side in the middle of the room with all the desks and office supplies pushed to the edges of the room.

“Oh dang it Clyde,” Butch’s voice said from inside the ship. “You forgot to turn off the emergency brakes!”

Clyde stuck his head out the window of the rocket and looked at the burning office supplies and the singed hole in the wall behind the exhaust of the rocket. “Oh come on Butch, can’t we do this when it’s not five in the morning?” Clyde whined.

“No we cannot!” Butch shouted as he pushed Clyde out of the rocket’s window. “We have the opportunity to follow an alien into space and discover an entire alien race, getting us huge promotions! We do this now!” he shouted out the window.

“Okay, okay fine...” Clyde said.

“That’s better,” Butch said. He let out a big yawn. “You know what Clyde? Why don’t we do this when it’s not five in the morning.”

“That’s a great idea Butch!” Clyde said genuinely.

Butch rubbed his knuckles against his chest. “Yup, that’s why I’m the brains of this outfit.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Sweetums snored loudly as he slept on the couch in the living room at the Muppet Boarding House. He dreamed of his performance with Rita Moreno on The Muppet Show. He thought that Robin’s Frog Scout mistress; Mrs. Appleby; had come to pick him up to go on a Frog Scout field trip at 6:00 am. It was now 6:30 and Sweetums hadn’t been awake since the other Muppets left to see Gonzo off.

The door to the boarding house burst open and several Muppets darted in.

“BATHROOM! BATHROOM!” Animal shouted.

“Hokay peoples listen up, today’s breakfast special es cinnamon raisin bread, cinnamon rolls and cinnamon flavored coffee, hokay?” Pepe said.

“Man what’s with all the cinnamon?” Zippity Zap asked.

“Well we were going to have cereals, but someone ate it all,” Pepe glared at Rizzo.

“Hey, a rat’s gotta eat!” Rizzo said.

“And eat and eat and eat!” Zippity laughed.

Kermit scrunched up his face and walked into the living room where Sweetums was just now waking up. “Hey Sweetums, everything go alright this morning?” Kermit asked.

Sweetums rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Yeah boss, everything was fine, Robin left,” he said, not knowing he how right he was.

“Oh good. Well, you’ll be happy to know that Gonzo made a successful launch,” Kermit said as he sat down in an armchair.

“Great,” Sweetums yawned.

“HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY FOO FOO?!” Miss Piggy screamed from the kitchen.

“Man, no way did I stick your stupid dog in the oven!” Floyd remarked. “Not that I haven’t thought about it numerous times.”

Smoke and the smell of singed fur erupted from the kitchen doorway.

“Ker-miiit!” Fozzie shouted.

Kermit sighed. “I’ll get the fire extinguisher, again!”

All progressed as normally as possible within the Muppet Boarding House. And all of its inhabitants remained blissfully unaware as to the whereabouts of their little froggy friend.

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Zongo and Flanzgo awoke Onzgo from a nap he took in his chamber and told him that Gonzo was due to arrive at the space station soon.

“Righteous,” Onzgo said. “Come, let us go to the docking bay and meet Gonzo when he arrives.”

The three of them left Onzgo’s private chambers and made their way down the large hallway.

“Finally,” Onzgo said. “With Gonzo here, our people will finally get to live without fear.”

“I just hope Uncle Gonzo knows what he’s getting himself into,” Flanzgo sighed.

Onzgo chuckled. “Don’t worry my child. From what I know of my little brother he doesn’t need to know what he’s getting into, because it will not matter to him.”

The three of them arrived at the docking bay in time to see the rocket land inside. The door on it’s side opened automatically and stairs slid down from the ship to the floor.

Inside the ship Gonzo ushered Robin towards his suitcase. “Quick Robin get in, you can’t be seen!”

“Brother Gonzo!” Onzgo’s voice called from outside. “Welcome home!”

Gonzo turned to the door. “Home,” Gonzo said softly.

“Okay Gonzo, I’m ready,” Robin said from inside the suitcase.

Gonzo rushed over to the suitcase and closed it shut. He took a deep breath and descended the stairs.

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Officer Barretta knocked on the Muppet Boarding House door. After a few seconds, Kermit opened the door. “Oh, hi-ho Officer, we didn’t expect to see you this soon,” the frog said.

Officer Barretta tipped his hat. “Morning Kermit, the DNA scan went better than expected and we’ve found a match to the hair we found in your basement,” he handed Kermit a file folder.

The frog opened it and saw two pictures, one of a large blue monster, and the other of a smaller pink one.

“That’s Butch and Clyde there. We thought you’d like to know the culprits of your robbery. I’m ready to dispatch a team to arrest them and have your rocket returned.”

“Oh no, we wouldn’t want that,” Kermit said. “It was probably just a mistake. And these guys look friendly enough, I tell you what Officer, we’ll handle this one if that’s alright.”

Officer Barretta smiled. “I shouldn’t have expected any less from you Kermit. Good luck,” he said as he returned to his squad car.

Kermit closed the door and walked back inside. “Hey everybody, the police found our notorious rocket robbers,” Kermit said as he walked into the dining room where all the Muppets were at the table eating breakfast.


“Groovy,” Dr. Teeth said. “Are the men with the badges, the po-lice, the fuzz, the P.I.G. going to dispatch their forces to send them to the hoosgow, the joint, the cooler?”

Kermit sat down at his spot at the head of the table. “Uh, no Dr. Teeth, I think we’re gonna handle this one.”

“Kermit, we’re going to deal with vicious robbers?” Fozzie moaned.

“Well Fozzie, they look nice enough,” Kermit said handing the bear the folder.

Fozzie opened it and looked at the pictures. “Oh yeah, they look like Muppets. Hey, and look here, they work at that government agency that took Gonzo that one time!”

“Their C.O.V.ies?” Bobo asked. All of the other Muppets turned and stared at him. “Heh heh heh, that’s what I call ‘em C.O.V.ies.”

“Bad guys! Bad guys!” Animal chanted.

“Well, we don’t know that for sure Animal, but we’re gonna find out,” Kermit said. “Who’s with me?”

“You mean, who’s witcha to go to a secret government agency, deal with robbers, and possibly get injured in da process?” Rizzo asked.

“Well, uh, yeah,” Kermit said.

“I’m out,” Floyd said.

“I have a lot of stuff to clean up down in the basement still.”

“Mee mo mee mee mo mo mee.”

“Sorry Kerm I got a date and-“

“It’s like this Kermit I have to work again.”

“JOHNNY FIAMMA’S SCARED OF ROBBERS!”

“QUIET!!” Fozzie shouted. “How many times do we have to go over this?” Fozzie asked. “Kermit has done so much for us, why can’t we do this one thing for him?”

“Aw man, I was only kiddin’.”

“I suppose I could clean up later.”

“Mee me mo.”

“Like I guess I could totally call in sick.”

“Man I feel like half a cent.”


“JOHNNY FIAMMA FEELS LIKE HALF A CENT!”

“Well there you go Kermit,” Fozzie said. “We’re all with you!”

“Oh good,” Kermit said, his stomach growled and he scrunched up his face. “Just right after breakfast okay?”

 

[G-MAN]

“JOHNNY FIAMMA’S SCARED OF ROBBERS!”

“JOHNNY FIAMMA FEELS LIKE HALF A CENT!”


Those two lines cracked me up, I wish I read this when it was new, lol

 

[muppetwriter]

I love those lines, too. Next to Clifford and Pepe, Johnny and Sal are two of my favorite Muppets Tonight characters.

This next chapter is where things take a pretty serious turn.


Chapter 11

Thunderous applause and cheers roared through the landing bay as Gonzo descended the stairs. Onzgo, Zongo and Flanzgo moved forward through the cheering crowds. Onzgo laughed and quieted down the crowd. "My brother from Earth!" Onzgo said as he walked towards Gonzo.

Gonzo grinned. "Hi!" he said. "I’ve missed you all so much!"

"We have missed you too my courageous brother, and we cannot thank you enough for coming on such short notice," Onzgo said as he embraced Gonzo with a hug.

"Hey, I couldn’t let you guys die out. I mean, you’re my family," the weirdo said, smiling.

Zongo and Flanzgo stepped forward slightly. Onzgo looked back at them, "Oh my how rude of me, please allow me to introduce your niece, Flanzgo," he motioned to his daughter. "And of course you already know Zongo," the alien placed his hand on Zongo’s arm.

Zongo extended his hand to Gonzo, who shook it. "Hi Ed, nice to see you again. Oh, and Bobo...Er, Rentro, says ‘Hi.’"

Zongo nodded and smiled. "Good to see you again Gonzo. I hope you have no hard feelings towards me."

"No no, of course not."

A small opening on the zipped part of Gonzo’s suitcase allowed Robin to peer through. The small frog looked at Flanzgo who was introducing herself to her uncle.

Onzgo peered down at the suitcase. He saw the speck of dark green inside and the white eye glancing around.

Onzgo grabbed Gonzo’s shoulder and led him out of the docking bay. "Come my brother, there is much more to see."

"Great," Gonzo said. "Oh and by the way, I never got your name either."

"Ah," Onzgo nodded. "I am Onzgo, the Uber-Gonzo. And you, you are Gonzo. My brother, and the true ruler of these people."

"What?!" Gonzo shouted.

Onzgo chuckled. "I will explain in due time my brother. But for now," Onzgo whispered. "We need to do something with your luggage."

Gonzo gulped. "You noticed?"

"I see many things, but don’t worry, your little friend is in no danger as of now."

Gonzo nodded. "Is there anyway I can call my friends? Kermit always worries about Robin."

"Quiet," Onzgo urged. "The walls have ears. Come we must go to Des Filmer, he can help you contact this Kermit."

A small section of the wall directly behind the alien brothers shifted and moved along to an open door. The door slid shut automatically. Zongo turned around and eyed the door.

"Zongo are you coming?" Onzgo asked.

Zongo stared at the door for a moment before answering. "No no, you need this family gathering."

"If that is your wish, than we shall abide by it, come now Gonzo, Flanzgo, we must make haste, we are not safe," Onzgo said as he pushed his relatives along.
Zongo walked up to the door he was eyeing and entered a number into a key pad, making the door slide open. As the door opened, a large monitor inside the room flashed off and Zongo felt a light breeze near his waist. "What on Gonzonia was that?"

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Exod tapped his fingers on the arm of his throne while his other hand rested on his chin. An alien servant was kneeled at his feet, rubbing them.

Another alien entered the room, this one wearing a medium-sized black cape and a red suit underneath it. "My lord, we have received a message from Xaldin, apparently, this Gonzo the Gonzonians are relying on, had a little stowaway," the alien grinned menacingly.

Exod kicked the servant at his feet as he stepped off his throne. "This is going to be fun then, isn’t it Xander?"

The one called Xander half bowed. "What is your order my liege?"

"Contact Xaldin again, tell him to put our plan into motion now. And let’s include this stowaway in our little ploy as well."

"As you wish master," Xander said, leaving the throne room.

The servant boy that was kicked by Exod cowered in the corner of the room staring at the tyrant.

Exod turned his head to his slave. "And just what are you looking at?" he asked, extending his arm with his hand half-clenching.

The servant grew wide eyed and its mouth began to fall open. "No!" the boy shouted. "Where did that come from?! It’s not possible!" the boy screamed in terror.

Exod laughed. "How do you enjoy staring down your greatest fear?" the alien overlord laughed.

The boy whimpered in the corner as Exod left his mind-prisoner, overcome with fear.

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Zongo examined the monitor that had flipped off when he entered the room, typing things, trying to find the source of the call, if it was a call that was.

Suddenly, the screen turned itself on again. "Xaldin? Xaldin, if you can hear me, put the plan into motion, and take the new Gonzonian’s stowaway and bring him as well," said the alien on the screen.

Zongo looked puzzled. "Xaldin?" he asked aloud. "Who is Xal-" Zongo fell to the floor.

From behind the man emerged a shimmering silver alien, holding a large metal rod. He dropped the rod and moved towards the screen, pressing a button on the control panel and speaking into a speaker with a shrill, chilling voice. "You got it Xander," Xaldin said, turning of the monitor.

The alien walked to the wall and climbed up it with his sharp talons on both his hands and feet, then changing his skin to replicate the wall, making him completely invisible.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
​

"Alright Mahna, who would you like to call?" the host asked.

"Mahna Mahna," a firey orange-haired Muppet said.

"Alright AT&T could you get them on the phone please?" the host said.

A ringing sound was heard over head in the studio, then a clicking sound, signaling that someone had picked up.

"Hello Snowths? This is Regis Philbin from ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire.’ I’m here with your friend Mahna Mahna, who’s already used two of his life-lines on the one-hundred dollar question and he still needs your help, so here he is, thirty seconds, start now!" the host said.

The number thirty appeared on the screen and began ticking backwards.

"Mahna Mahna," the Muppet said.

"Doo do doo do doo," two voices said over the "phone."

"Mahna Mahna!" the Muppet shouted trying to get an answer.

"Doo do doo do."

"MAHNA MAHNA!"

"Doo do doo do doo, doo do doo, doo do doo, doo do, doo do doo do doo!"

The time ran out and Mahna Mahna slammed his head down and began to weep. "Oh, that’s too bad," the host said to him.

Clifford laughed. "Man oh man, that never gets old," he said as he walked by the television screen holding mail and going towards the dining room. "Mail guys!"

Kermit set down his newspaper. "Anything for me Clifford?" the frog asked.

Clifford shuffled through the mail. "Uh, yeah, here ya go, postcard," the purple Muppet handed Kermit a postcard with a dessert on the front.

Kermit read the postcard. "Oh good, our writer’s enjoying her stay in Israel and should be back to work Monday," the frog smiled.

"Hey, how come the hatrack gets a vacation?" Bobo asked.

"You mean you don’t?" Rizzo asked.

"Good grief," Kermit said as he returned to his morning paper.

"Hey Kermit," Rowlf said. "Maybe you should give Mrs. Appleby a call and make sure Robin got off safely?" the dog asked.

"Good idea Rowlf," Kermit said, beginning to get up.

"Yaber hoo der soonermon woofles!" the Swedish Chef announced, carrying a tray of waffles out to the table.

Kermit sat back down. "But, uh, now breakfast is here, so let’s eat."

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

"Puppetry?" Gonzo asked.

"Puppetry," Des Filmer responded.

"That’ll never catch on," Gonzo said.

"Well maybe not, but it’s still our only means of immediate contact with Earth," Onzgo said.

Gonzo shrugged. "Okay," he said, slipping on the electronic glove. "It just feels so weird..." he mumbled.

"What if no one answers?" Robin asked from his seat on Flanzgo’s lap.

"Oh, they will," Des said. "Look, they’re getting ready to eat those waffles as we speak!" he said, motioning to the monitor that showed the Muppet Boarding House dining room. "Actually, we kinda need to hurry."

"Oh right," Gonzo said, pressing a button on the glove. "So now I just talk and move my hand in the same motion?" Des Filmer nodded. "Alright, here goes nothing," he cleared his throat, then began to speak and move the two separated sections of his hand up and down. "Kermit? Kermit are you there?"

On the monitor in front of Gonzo, Kermit jumped from his seat in surprise, sending coffee all over the floor. Beauregard got up from his seat to find a mop, but all of the other Muppets stared down to the head of the table at Kermit’s seat. "Uh, yeah," the frog said, stumbling over his words.

"It’s me, Gonzo!" the blue weirdo said, still performing the art of puppetry.

"Gonzo?" Kermit asked, staring down at his talking pancakes as well. "But how?"

"Same way a tray of hospital spaghetti can talk to me I guess," he said. "But this is important Kermit! Robin stowed away in my suitcase, he’s here with me now."

"What?!" Kermit shouted. "But-But-Robin-he went to Frog Scouts-Sweetums saw him off!"

"He’s right here Kermit," Gonzo said. "If his hands were big enough, I’d let him talk to you."

Kermit exhaled. "Is he in danger Gonzo?" Kermit asked calmly.

Gonzo gulped. "Well, sort of," Gonzo said.

"Sort of? What does that mean?"

"Well, there is the threat of an alien overlord..."

"ALIEN OVERLORD?!" Kermit shouted, finally losing control.

"Kermit, calm down, I’ll get him home safe, I promise," Gonzo said. "I’ll make this stay here as short as possible. Then I’ll fly back and bring Robin home safely."

Kermit shook his head. "But Gonzo, this may be your only time with your family. What if a group of me and the guys took another of the rockets and flew up to get Robin?"

"Kermit, I quit my stunts to be with you guys, I can’t let you endanger yourselves like that."

Onzgo gasped behind his brother when he heard that he quit doing his stunts.

"Don’t worry Gonzo, I’m sure we’ll be fine," Kermit said. "It’s just a little space flight, we’ve been through...Er...Well nothing bigger, but surely something worse," the frog smiled.

Gonzo laughed a bit. "Ok Kermit, you win. Just make sure Camilla stays back, I don’t think she’d like anti-gravity too much. You know how her giblets act up."

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Uh, no, no I don’t, and I really don’t care to. So I guess we’ll see you soon?"

"I guess so," Gonzo said. "Bye," he said, taking off the puppetry glove. "Well Robin did you hear that?" Gonzo asked turning around. "Your uncles coming to-" he stopped. Robin and Flanzgo were nowhere in sight.

"What is it Gonzo?" Onzgo asked, as he and Des Filmer just now turned around as well. "No! Flanzgo! No!"

* * * * * * * * * * * *​

Robin the Frog cowered in front of a large shadow. Flanzgo was restrained behind the frog. "Hello my green little friend," Xaldin said revealing his rows of sharp teeth. "Are you ready to meet Exod? Soon-to-be ruler of all, master of manipulation-"

"Terrifying tyrant!" Flanzgo shouted.

"Ooh, that’s a good one princess," Xaldin said. "I’ll have to submit that one to the writers! He he he!" he laughed. "Now!" he shouted. "Enough of this, it’s time to go," he pushed Flanzgo into a pod, and grabbed Robin around his waist and hopped in as well. "Destination: Exod! Ha ha ha ha!"

The door of the escape pod slammed shut, and it jettisoned from the Gonzonian spacecraft.