The Sixth Somewhat-Annual Muppet Central Forum Awards 2010

[The Count]

*Anything Muppet Cop outside:
Open up, this is the police. We've been tipped off to some Semour guy running around in here. He's known to be crazy, he last held a grouch as a hostage. If that doesn't say crazy... Well, I'll just be out here watchin'.

*Turns to cow, tosses her a dime for a glass of milk.

 

[D'Snowth]

Was this Seymour guy dressed in a tuxedo and wearing a black beanie? Uh... *Quickly grabs sombrero and fake mustache* Sorry, me no speak-a Eeng-a-lish, matey. Join us a-gain sometime laddy!

 

[Colbynfriends]

I left my money in my other chair, one second. *rolls outside, gets in van, and drives away*

 

[Oscarfan]

*Opens up a milk bar*

COW: *Doing a floor show* 10 cents a glaaaaaaaaass / it's not a pretty penny / it's 10 cents a glaaaaaaaaass / I have to fill so man-y...

A cow singing about money? He must be a cash cow!

 

[Colbynfriends]

*comes back in bigger chair* here's mah money! *gives to bartender* next rounds on me!

 

[D'Snowth]

*comes back in bigger chair* here's mah money! *gives to bartender* next rounds on me!

AAnd we're ALL holding you to it.

 

[D'Snowth]

Hello.

I am Seymour Philip Hoffman.

I was asked by a representative from The Institute Of The Snowthers to host this year's Sixth Somewhat-Annual Muppet Central Forum Awards, because apparently you guys couldn't afford bigger name celebs like Steve Carell or Ricky Gervais.

I have a reputation of crashing award ceremonies. In fact, just last year, I stole the Oscar from my more talented twin brother Philip Seymour Hoffman. I could just see the sour look in his eyes as he sat in the auditorium next to Dustin Hoffman on his right, and a salami sandwich on his left. In spite of my reputation, I was willing to clean up my act on behalf of muppet fans the world over for the honor of hosting your little ceremony here. However, I failed my screening process and had 4-F stamped on my forehead.

And now, I have seaked revenge. I have hijacked your D'Snowth's account, and am holding hostage by having him hogtied to an electric chair, while I print out pictures of the girl he is in love with, and promptly ripping them to shreds, thus, whenever he cries or screams, he is lit up like a fricken Christmas tree.

I will set him free unless my demands are met. And I am not asking for much. All I want is *Holds up pinky finger to mouth* one hundred, million, billion, trillion, gazillion, shmidly-diddly-doo-fuhjillion... yen.

 

[The Count]

*Wheels in giant stone coin of the Eeku-Squeaku island natives. Will this do? Meh... *Dumps it onto Semour, crushing him underneath.

*Calls Jeany to see if she'd want to come as my escort for this year's awards.

 

[D'Snowth]

*Muffled* I wish you hadn't done that...

 

[The Count]

*Wonders what would happen if I left this fruity punch root beer out. Would it have the same effect on D'Snowth as spinach has on Popeye? Hmm, food for thought. *Leaves to go find Jeany's phone number.