The Party of the First Part

[Ruahnna]

Valentine's story set in TMS days.

 

[Ruahnna]

Kermit sidled up to his desk, looking nervously over his shoulder every few steps. Unaware of this show of nerves, Fozzie came up behind him and touched him softly on the back. Kermit let out a “Yah!” of sound and almost tossed his writing tablet into the air, which make Fozzie jump and yelp as well.
“Sheesh!” said Kermit. “Don’t do that, will ya?”
Fozzie looked at him in confusion. “Don’t what? You haven’t even seen my act yet!”
“Huh?”
“What?”
Both of them shook their heads, but Fozzie spoke first.
“Kermit—are you okay? You’re acting kind of, um, weird today.”
“I have good reason,” the anxious amphibian said. He leaned close to Fozzie and whispered. “It’s Valentine’s Day.”
“Oh,” said Fozzie, nodding conspiratorially. “Why are we whispering?”
Kermit sighed. “Well, it’s, um, sortof complicated.” Fozzie continued to stare blankly, and Kermit eventually sighed again and leaned toward his friend after carefully checking that no one could overhear. “Well, Valentine’s day is the day that you typically get something nice for your sweetheart.”
“So?” said Fozzie. “How hard is that?”
“You’d be surprised,” muttered Kermit. “But look, I haven’t been able to find anything for Miss Piggy that seemed, um, appropriate.”
Again, Fozzie looked at him in a puzzled manner. “Flowers?” he suggested.
“After we argue.”
“Um, chocolates then.”
“She, um, heaved the last box at me.”
“Oh, right,” said Fozzie, remembering. “It took Beau a while to clean that up.”
“Yeah,” said Kermit.
“Lingerie?” asked Fozzie, and Kermit blushed scarlet and made a very disgruntled face.
“I think not,” he said stiffly.
“Stocks? Bonds?” said Fozzie anxiously. “I mean, what do you want from me? I don’t even have a girlfriend.”
“I know, I know,” said Kermit soothingly, patting Fozzie on the back in a conciliatory manner. “It’s not your problem.”
It was Fozzie’s turn to look grumpy. “Very funny,” he said. “When the Pig ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
“So Gonzo says.”
“Speaking of—why don’t you ask Gonzo for some advice? He always seems to have a lot of lady friends.”
Kermit started to object but realized he had no grounds to do so. Gonzo might be a weird little whatever, but he seemed confident in the dating arena.
“I’ll—I’ll ask him,” Kermit promised. “But in the meantime, just help me keep a low profile before Piggy gives me, um, an even lower profile.”
“Sure thing, frog of my heart,” said Fozzie. “I’ve got your back.” He trotted off.
Now, Kermit thought dismally. If I could just get someone to protect my front…
“Janice, have you seen Kermie?” asked Piggy. Janice looked up from the single red rose in her hand.
“Oh, like, not since I got here,” she said. “He’s probably at his desk.”
“No,” said Piggy distractedly. “I already—oh! What a beautiful rose!”
“Like, fer sure,” said Janice serenely. “Floyd got it for me. Valentine’s Day.”
Piggy looked at it for a moment.
“Too cheap to buy a dozen, huh?” she asked, but Janice just laughed.
“Oh, Piggy,” she said. “You are such a tease.”
Piggy exited stage right, and Janice inhaled the sweet scene of the flower happily. While she was doing so, Floyd sauntered up, and the sight of his woman with her beautiful complexion pressed into the petals of the rose made Floyd sigh. He wished he’d been able to buy her a dozen roses, but Janice seemed just as content with one. She looked up at him and smiled.
“Hi Honeybunch,” she said fondly. “Thank you for my beautiful rose.”
“I’d buy you a field full of roses if I could,” said Floyd gallantly, but Janice put a hand on his arm and smiled.
“Oh, you’re sweet,” she said gently. “But I, like, don’t have anywhere to put them. My apartment’s rully small.”
Floyd laughed his raspy laugh and put his arm around her waist.
“C’mere, baby,” he said warmly. “And give Floyd a kiss.”
“Ooh!” said Janice. “What a totally good idea!”

“—and then the high-flying spatulas will—“ Scooter broke off abruptly and sighed. “Kermit, I feel silly,” he complained. “It looks like I’m talking to a plant.”
Kermit rustled the leaves of his hiding place and looked at Scooter sternly.
“Better to talk to a plant and have Piggy turn me into a vegetable,” he insisted. Scooter sighed again.
“So, after the spatulas have gone—“
“Scooter! Scooter, dear—have you seen Mon Capitan?”
The large plant next to Scooter gave a yelp of dismay, and Scooter startled, looking around to see Miss Piggy looking at him suspiciously.
“Ma’am?”
“Scooter—were you just talking to that plant?” Piggy asked.
“Um, yes ma’am,” said Scooter stoutly. “It’s supposed to be, er, good for them. They, you know, say that.”
Piggy stared at him for a moment. “I thought playing music was supposed to be good for them,” she offered.
Scooter grimaced. “Have you heard the band lately?” he asked.
Piggy continued to stare, and Scooter smiled weakly.
“Um, did you need Kermit, you say?” asked the nervous gofer.
“Yes. I did say,” said Piggy. “Do vous know where he is?”
“Um, he said something about a vegetable,” said Scooter. “I guess he went to get lunch.”
There was a disgusted but largely inaudible “yeesh” from the potted plant.
“Scooter, it’s ten-thirty,” Piggy insisted.
“Oh, well, I guess he wanted to beat the holiday rush,” said Scooter. He could feel sweat breaking out underneath his arms and began to edge toward the door. Abruptly, however, Piggy lost interest.
“Well, if you see him, please tell him that I need to speak with him,” said Piggy faintly. She turned and walked up the stairs to her dressing room with a distracted air.
After a moment of grateful silence, Scooter let out the breath he’d been holding.
“Coast is clear,” he muttered to the plant.
“Thanks, Scooter,” said Kermit, climbing out of the pot. “I’m sure glad to get out of there.”
“You think you’re glad,” said the plant irritably. “I wasn’t that wild about your big flippered feet on my fronds.”
Kermit and Scooter both started and looked around to find the plant glaring back at them.
“Um, sorry,” muttered Kermit, easing toward the door. “I was just going to, um—“
“I’ll come help you!” offered Scooter. They ran for the stage.
Upstage, the door to Piggy’s dressing room opened. “Kermit?” she asked.
There was no response.
“That’s so funny,” she thought. “I thought I heard his voice.”

“Well, thanks all the same, Gonzo,” said Kermit, but I don’t think a playdoh sculpture of a goat eating macadamia nuts is the sort of thing that Piggy would like.”
Gonzo shrugged. “Not everyone appreciated true art,” he said philosophically. “Speaking of—did you know Piggy was looking for you? She had a really big card with her.”
Kermit let out a little groan. “A big card, huh?” he muttered. “I have a card, but it’s regular sized.”
“Well this one was huge,” said Gonzo. “Somebody must have but a lot of thought into it.”
Just great, Kermit though dismally. Big and thoughtful. This day just kept getting better and better.

“Well I’m not waiting any longer on that frog!” Piggy huffed. She threw her spring coat around her shoulders huffily and snatched up her poster-sized card. Kermit always managed to disappear when she needed him most and today seemed a sterling example of same. Well, she couldn’t wait any longer. Her public was waiting, and this was one appointment she did not intend to miss.
Piggy popped out the door of her dressing room and almost ran down the stairs. Halfway down, she collided with Rowlf, and it was only Rowlf’s sound footing that kept them upright.
“Whoa there, Miss Piggy,” said Rowlf. “Where are you going in such a hurry?”
Piggy looked disgruntled. “Out,” she said testily.
“Bad day for it,” said the amiable canine. “It’s raining to beat the band.”
“Can’t be helped,” said Piggy primly. “I have an appointment that I can’t miss.” She threw an annoyed look at Rowlf. “And so does that stupid frog, but he’s nowhere to be found.”
“Um, want me to tell him something for you when I see him?” asked Rowlf.
“Yes,” said Piggy, trying to smile. “Tell him I couldn’t wait, and that he’s on my list for standing me up.”
Inwardly, Rowlf sighed. He did not like being the bearer of bad news, but he had, after all, asked. “Where should I say you’ve gone?” he said.
“Kermit with know,” Piggy said crisply. “After all, he’s the one who set this up.”
With that enigmatic statement, Piggy breezed out the door.

It was after lunch time—the real lunch time—when Kermit finally got up the courage to knock on Piggy’s door. He had a card, a rose, a small box of chocolates and a very contrite expression. No one answered.
“Um, Piggy, sweetheart?” he called. Again, no answer. Gingerly, Kermit tried the door. Sometimes Piggy forgot to lock…
The door swung open easily, but the dressing room was empty. Now thoroughly puzzled, Kermit stared around the empty room. Where on earth…?

“Hey Rowlf—have you seen Piggy?”
“Yeah,” said Rowlf. “Matter of fact. She went out a little while ago. She, um, said to tell you you were on her list for standing her up.”
“Standing her up?” repeated Kermit. “But--?”
“I have no idea,” said Rowlf firmly, holding up his paws to ward off any further questions. “But she seemed in a big hurry. And she said you were the one who set it up.”
“I set it up?” said Kermit, mystified. “I don’t know what she’s—oh.” Kermit’s face scrunched up and he looked unhappy. For a moment or two, he dug around frantically on his desk, but the search was fruitless. Kermit did what he always did when he couldn’t find something.
“Scooter!” he bellowed. “I need you!”
Scooter came running. “Yes, boss?”
Kermit looked at him anxiously. “Um, do I have any appointments today?”
“I don’t think so…oh,” said the gofer, flipping through his clipboard. He raised his eyes to meet Kermit’s and the stared grimly at each other.
“It was today?” said Kermit.
“It was,” said Scooter.
Kermit sighed. “Do you—is it too late?”
Scooter looked at his watch. “Not if we let Beauregard drive the bus.”
Kermit digested this piece of news, then squared his shoulders.
“If we must, we must. Hurry, Scooter--get as many people you can on the bus and we’ll do the best we can.”

Piggy had performed two songs and a couple of impromptu dance routines and answered a lot of giggling questions by the time Kermit, Scooter, the band and everyone else they could manage appeared through the double doors at the back of the room. The grateful look on Piggy’s face told Kermit that she was very glad to see him, but he was not totally forgiven. She broke off mid-sentence and walked forward gracefully to meet him.
“Ah—there he is, children. Boys and girls, this is my, um, this is Kermit the Frog,” she said. Mad or not, she sounded proud.
Kermit stepped forward and smiled and waved at all the children propped comfortably in beds or watching with interest from wheelchairs. A few of them were standing, but trailed IV poles.
“Hi ho, boys and girls,” said Kermit. “It sure is great to see you today!”
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” said a little girl, about six, from her bed. Her mother smiled down at her fondly.
“Oh, um, yes. Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too.” He looked over to where the band was setting up. Rowlf had located the old upright piano the hospital kept in this room, and was tinkling the keys experimentally. “So what do you say, guys? Are you ready for a show?”
“YES!!!!” came a chorus of excited voices.
“Good!” said Kermit. “Let’s start with a sing-along, shall we? Who knows the words to—“

“It was so nice of you to come, Mr. The Frog,” said the activities coordinator. “This is not always such a great day here at the hospital.” She looked back toward the room where the children were laughing uproariously at Fozzie’s corny jokes. “A lot of their friends are having Valentine parties and eating too much chocolate. It was great of you to come.”
Kermit reached out and took Piggy’s hand. She allowed it.
“Thank Miss Piggy,” he said. “She’s the one who suggested this outing.”
“Well then, thank you Miss Piggy,” laughed the appreciate woman. “We appreciate it so much. And the card—the big Valentine was soooo nice. We’re going to keep it up here where everyone can enjoy it.”
“That reminds me,” said Kermit. He walked over to the bulletin board and signed the card amidst the names of his friends. When he turned, Piggy was looking at him with such a soft expression in her eyes that he blushed.
“Well, I guess we better get back in there and rescue the kids from Fozzie!” said Kermit brightly.
“Or vice versa,” said the woman, laughing.
They pushed back through the double doors.

They did not talk on the bus ride back. In fact, it would have been impossible had they tried to hold anything other than a shouted conversation, for the performers on the bus were all laughing and talking at the top of there lungs.
“--like, so cute!“ said Janice.
“And they liked my jokes!” said Fozzie.
“Wow,” Scooter was saying to Rowlf. “Some of those kids are real troopers. We should go back.”
“Yeah—and soon,” said Floyd. “That little dude waiting for a new kidney wants to learn to play the bass. I’ll bet—“
“Sooo nice of them to let us come,” said Annie Sue. “I didn’t have any plans for Valentine’s Day, and this was a great way to—“
“—love to sing,” said Rowlf. “And that piano is in serious need of a rip-roaring concert. Hey Kermit—do you think—“
“—want us to come back some time with our friends from the Street,” said Gonzo. “Wish we weren’t on the other side of the ocean, so we could—“
Across the aisle, Kermit looked at Piggy. She looked back. Slowly, they smiled.
“Thanks,” mouthed Kermit.
Piggy shrugged. “My pleasure,” she mouthed back. From the satisfied expression on her face, it certainly had been.

Kermit waited until everyone had gone to supper, which was almost too late. He caught Piggy’s arm as she started past him toward the stairs to her dressing room.
“Hey,” said Kermit softly. “Look, I want to apologize about today.”
Piggy shrugged generously. “You got there—that’s what matters.”
Kermit took her other arm, letting his hands rest lightly on her rosy arms. “That’s not what I meant,” he persisted. He was having a hard time looking at her. “I meant about, you know, Valentine’s Day.”
“Oh, that,” said Piggy dismissively. Gently, she disentangled herself. “Valentine’s Day is for amateurs.” She turned and looked at Kermit sassily. “And Moi is, above all things, professional.”
Kermit smiled, looking sheepish.
“You know something, Piggy?” he said warmly. “You’re really something else.”
Piggy regarded him affectionately for a long moment. “Yeah, well, if you ever figure out what, maybe you’ll figure out what to do about it.” Her voice held just the right amount of snarkiness to hit home.
“Hey,” said Kermit, tweaked. “I know what to do!”
“Of course you do, dear,” said Piggy. She patted him on the head. “You’re so cute when you’re bluffing.”
“I am not! I am not bluffing!” Kermit insisted.
Piggy laughed again. “Oh, of course not,” she said smugly. She started past him. It all happened so fast that neither Kermit nor Piggy had much time to think about it. As Piggy walked past, Kermit reached out, snagged her around her waist and dipped her almost to the floor while he proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of his porcine co-star—who just happened to also be his sweetheart. Too surprised to protest, and too delighted to object, Piggy was slow to react, but eventually her lips warmed under his and her arms crept around his neck.
When the kiss was over, Kermit swung her back onto her feet with aplomb. It was hard to say who was more wobbly on their feet.
“See!” he said grumpily. “I do so know what to do on Valentine’s Day!”
Piggy walked away from him, far from steady and pleasantly adrift in daydreams.
“Oh yes,” she said faintly. “What a nice surprise.”
Watching her go, Kermit continued to think about it the whole day, a day that had contained some wonderful experiences and which had culminated in one of the best kisses he’d ever shared with Piggy. Sheesh! He could still taste that kiss on his lips. He looked after her retreating form speculatively, then Kermit started up the stairs after her. Valentine’s Day wasn’t over yet—not by a long shot. There was till time to make things right.
And Kermit intended to try.

 

[The Count]

Oh gosh! I read the Second Part first, didn't know there was this First Part as well. This one was rully great. Loved that everybody got a chance to shine. Even Annie Sue was there. And the humor of the old days is definitively present in this short story. And just a smidge of ushgush which always pervades your writings. Thanks for both sweet stories Ru... Have a great day!

 

[Fragglemuppet]

A smidge, Ed? Why, the end was positively dripping! I loved the bit at the children's hospital; there really needs to be more sentiment like that in the stories here on the bords. Hmmm, I think a single rose is more befitting of Janice. What do you think?

 

[The Count]

To tell the truth... That was ne of the parts I liked themost. Rully touching that Janice finds pleasure in just the one rose, she's rully groovy like that.

 

[theprawncracker]

Oh and try that frog shall!! Whoo! What a great little story Ru! I loved it! Great job, funny, inviting, and above all, ushy gushy! Great job!!

 

[Leyla]

Ooooooh, yippee! What lovely stories Ru!

Loved Kermit's nerves tall through this one... too funny, and the way you turned it around later was wonderful. Really a delight to read.

“Sheesh!” said Kermit. “Don’t do that, will ya?”
Fozzie looked at him in confusion. “Don’t what? You haven’t even seen my act yet!”
“Huh?”
“What?”

Hilarious!

“So?” said Fozzie. “How hard is that?”
“You’d be surprised,” muttered Kermit. “But look, I haven’t been able to find anything for Miss Piggy that seemed, um, appropriate.”
Again, Fozzie looked at him in a puzzled manner. “Flowers?” he suggested.
“After we argue.”
“Um, chocolates then.”
“She, um, heaved the last box at me.”
“Oh, right,” said Fozzie, remembering. “It took Beau a while to clean that up.”
“Yeah,” said Kermit.
“Lingerie?” asked Fozzie, and Kermit blushed scarlet and made a very disgruntled face.
“I think not,” he said stiffly.
“Stocks? Bonds?” said Fozzie anxiously. “I mean, what do you want from me? I don’t even have a girlfriend.”

Gee, you're not implying Piggy's high maintenance are you? 'Cause you know, if you are... you should really be saying it outright. Love that Kermit reserves flowers for post arguments... and Piggy's heaving the chocolates... and, of course, Kermit's reactions to the lingerie suggestion. Fozzie's desperation at the end is great... absolutely wonderful. Ties it up very well... well, really, what a great way to illustrate Kermit's difficulties.

It was Fozzie’s turn to look grumpy. “Very funny,” he said. “When the Pig ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
“So Gonzo says.”

Oooh, yay! What a great callback to a great line! Remember... that goes for the frog too.

“I’ll—I’ll ask him,” Kermit promised. “But in the meantime, just help me keep a low profile before Piggy gives me, um, an even lower profile.”
“Sure thing, frog of my heart,” said Fozzie. “I’ve got your back.” He trotted off.
Now, Kermit thought dismally. If I could just get someone to protect my front…

<laughs> Oh, that's priceless! Oh, really got me laughing with that one. Kermit's so funny when he's suffering pig anxiety. Love the idea of going to Gonzo for advice, and Fozzie's "frog of my heart" line.

Piggy looked at it for a moment.
“Too cheap to buy a dozen, huh?” she asked, but Janice just laughed.
“Oh, Piggy,” she said. “You are such a tease.”

Teasing... yes... of course. Love Janice's loving the rose. It really is so sweet and sentimental.

“—and then the high-flying spatulas will—“ Scooter broke off abruptly and sighed. “Kermit, I feel silly,” he complained. “It looks like I’m talking to a plant.”
Kermit rustled the leaves of his hiding place and looked at Scooter sternly.

<laughs> Yep. Kermit with ridiculously exagerrated... though not entirely unjustified pig anxiety...hilarious.
Love the occasional comments from the "plant" as well as the ACTUAL comment from the plant... and Piggy popping out at the end is very consistant of the style of the muppet show. Wonderful, Ru.

“Well, thanks all the same, Gonzo,” said Kermit, but I don’t think a playdoh sculpture of a goat eating macadamia nuts is the sort of thing that Piggy would like.”

Chicken's must be big believers in "It's the thought that counts." This is why Kermit doesn't often go to Gonzo for advice. Oh well, worth a shot.

Just great, Kermit though dismally. Big and thoughtful. This day just kept getting better and better.

Oh, aren't you the clever girl, misleading Kermit, and the rest of this with that card. I remember thinking that seemed a little odd for Piggy to be carrying that around. Remind me never to underestimate you, honey!

“Well I’m not waiting any longer on that frog!” Piggy huffed. She threw her spring coat around her shoulders huffily and snatched up her poster-sized card. Kermit always managed to disappear when she needed him most and today seemed a sterling example of same. Well, she couldn’t wait any longer. Her public was waiting, and this was one appointment she did not intend to miss.

<sighs> Her frog always managed to disappear when she needed him most... that's sad. Can't blame her for being annoyed though. Frog's so caught up with Valentine's day that he's forgetting something really important. I do love all of the underlying inrony in this. Kermit's wrapped up in Valentine's Day, and Piggy's hardly thinking about it at all.

It was after lunch time—the real lunch time—when Kermit finally got up the courage to knock on Piggy’s door. He had a card, a rose, a small box of chocolates and a very contrite expression. No one answered.

<giggles> Covering all the bases, eh Kermit?

“Um, Piggy, sweetheart?” he called. Again, no answer. Gingerly, Kermit tried the door. Sometimes Piggy forgot to lock…

I enjoy Piggy's penchant for forgetting to lock that door.

“I set it up?” said Kermit, mystified. “I don’t know what she’s—oh.” Kermit’s face scrunched up and he looked unhappy. For a moment or two, he dug around frantically on his desk, but the search was fruitless. Kermit did what he always did when he couldn’t find something.
“Scooter!” he bellowed. “I need you!”
Scooter came running. “Yes, boss?”

<grins> Like Kermit's reliance on Kermit. Such a fun dynamic there. I also like that it's Kermit who set up the hospital visit. That's very much in keeping with his character. He probably had to talk her into it too, at least a little bit too.

Scooter looked at his watch. “Not if we let Beauregard drive the bus.”
Kermit digested this piece of news, then squared his shoulders.
“If we must, we must. Hurry, Scooter--get as many people you can on the bus and we’ll do the best we can.”

Brave souls.

Love the hospital scene... very touching and sweet. Poignant too.... Valentine's day is a hard day for children who can't eat candy. I like that the muppets had as much fun as the children, and Kermit remembering to sign the card. Especially liked that Piggy really enjoyed it too. Soft spot for kids I think.

“Oh, that,” said Piggy dismissively. Gently, she disentangled herself. “Valentine’s Day is for amateurs.” She turned and looked at Kermit sassily. “And Moi is, above all things, professional.”
Kermit smiled, looking sheepish.
“You know something, Piggy?” he said warmly. “You’re really something else.”
Piggy regarded him affectionately for a long moment. “Yeah, well, if you ever figure out what, maybe you’ll figure out what to do about it.” Her voice held just the right amount of snarkiness to hit home.

Love the apology, and Piggy's opinion of Valentine's day, as well as her provoking him into doing something. Well done, Piggy!

She started past him. It all happened so fast that neither Kermit nor Piggy had much time to think about it. As Piggy walked past, Kermit reached out, snagged her around her waist and dipped her almost to the floor while he proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of his porcine co-star—who just happened to also be his sweetheart. Too surprised to protest, and too delighted to object, Piggy was slow to react, but eventually her lips warmed under his and her arms crept around his neck.

Well done, Kermit!

When the kiss was over, Kermit swung her back onto her feet with aplomb. It was hard to say who was more wobbly on their feet.
“See!” he said grumpily. “I do so know what to do on Valentine’s Day!”

<laughs> Oh, good. I was starting to worry there too.

Watching her go, Kermit continued to think about it the whole day, a day that had contained some wonderful experiences and which had culminated in one of the best kisses he’d ever shared with Piggy. Sheesh! He could still taste that kiss on his lips. He looked after her retreating form speculatively, then Kermit started up the stairs after her. Valentine’s Day wasn’t over yet—not by a long shot. There was till time to make things right.
And Kermit intended to try.

Oh, wonderful wonderful. I do so love when Kermit spends time "making things right." What a wonderful ushy gushy treat for Valentine's! Thanks Ru, dearest!

 

[Beauregard]

Oh what a delightfull little story! Janice's red rose was one of the most amazing presents for her. She's a very understanding woman, that valley gal. And, speaking of understanding, Miss Piggy seemed very understanding in this story. I applaud her for her patience. That frog can be quite a trial when he's trying to do somethng more special then perhaps he needs. *hugs* It was a fabulous story.

 

[Misskermie]

Awwwwww! Kermit is sooooooooo romantic!