The Muppets Perform Harry Potter.

[LamangoNumber2]

I already had Rowlf casted as Sirius. I mean, come on...He's Rowlf. Dog already.

 

[The Count]

Well... Is okay. Another suggestion for Beauregard might be Tom, the one in charge of the Leaky Cauldron. Oh well. Please, post more!
Eagerly awaiting Draco's entrance, arriving at Hogwarts, and the sorting hat ceremony.

 

[LamangoNumber2]

Part five, I beleive!

Kermit remembered he left out a important detail, and forced the already off stage Vicky back to the train.
Vicky, had returned to the train cabbin, introducing herself as Hermione Granger.
"I'm Harry Potter." Gobo smiled, shaking her hand.
"Mron!" Wembley added, munching on some Bert-ty Botts every flavored Beans.
"Its...a pleasure..." Vicky stared at Wembley, then at the two animals on the other seats. "And those two?"
"Names Hedwig, baby." Hoots said.
"Yo, Rizzo the rat, thats RAT, with a R, A,T!" Rizzo chuckled to his own joke, while Hoots also laughed.
"Hermione then spent the rest of the train ride, talking to these four, prooving, she was, infact, a good kid."

Kermit took his seat again, as Beau led a much larger troup of muppets and other creatures to change the sets. Now, it was outside the Great Hall, where a gather of familiar and unfamiliar faces stood, awaiting to be let in.
Kermit beamed, now somewhat reconizing the woman in the front row, and began to read the booklette. "Now, the first years, after crossing the Lake with Grounds Keeper Hagrid, all awaited to be let into the Great Hall..." Kermit cued. "But before that, we must introduce the third villian in the series...Draco Malfoy..."
Polly Lobster then pushed his way through the crowd, followed by Clueless and Mad Monty. Polly was sporting a wig of neon blonde, while the other two, respectfully, where Crabbe and Goyle.
"Thats Draco Malfoy..." Kermit informed the audiance. "He's a nasty little kid, but his henchmen, dumber than a sack of wet hammers."
Polly sneered at Gobo. "So, the rumors where true, we do have a celeberty in our pressence... The famous Harry Potter. Names Draco..." Polly offered his claw to Gobo, who stared at it.
"... Nice to meet you..." Gobo gulped.
"Why not join our group, Harry, you and I seem so much alike."
"Don't hold your breath, Malfoy..." Wembly glared.
Goggles then erupted from the crowd, hyperventalating. "I can't take it! I need air!"
"Trever!" Boober shouted, rushing up after the toad, grasping him, both looking uncomfortable in there current situation.
"The kid with the toad, Neville Longbottom..." And Kermit was, once again, interupted by the Mayhem bands laughter. "Cool it guys...He's a very nice kid, but alittle weird."
"Oh thanks." Boober stated flatly.

Mildred opened the giant doors, beaming at the first years.
"Please! Come in come in! We're on a tight schedual." The purple woman ushered the first years in. "Now, you must come up to be shorted, only when I call your name..." Mildred held the sorting hat up, which seemed oddly familliar. Zoot was crouching down behind the stole, hoping no one would see him, as his hat was lifted off his head.
Most students where familiar Muppets. Lee Jordan, played by Leon, laughed loudly, as he was shorted into Gryffindor, getting claps from both Servo and Crow.
Polly, getting Slytherin, along with his two henchmen, got clapped, only by there own housemates.
Each house was called by the somewhat muffled Zoot, who couldn't care less not to be there... He felt so uncomfortable.
Padma, played by Prairie Dawn, was sent to Ravenclaw, as Pavarti, played by Betty Lou, was also in Gryffindor. Lavander Brown, played by Roxie Marie, also got into Gryffindor.

Gobo, Vicky, Boober, and Wembly, all got into Gryffindor, getting cheers from the whole table.

After the Shorting was done, Brewster cleared his throat. "Now, every year, I must give an opening speech..." He droned on and on, before finally, falling asleep.
Mildred smacked his arm, "Wake up old fool..."
"...Oh? Oh yes...I shall introduce the staff of Hogwarts..." Brewster nodded at the far end of the table, where Filch, played by George the Janitor, grumbled.
"This is the janitor, Filch... Please do not tease him until after he's out of ear shot... And beside him..." Brewster pointed to a scroungy looking cat with an eyepatch, Gaffer. "Is Ms. Norris."

"Next is Snape..." Brewster walked over to Sam Eagle, who wore a black, greasy wig, his eyes shifting around. "Eyes of an eagle, this one... Be carefull..." Brewster chuckled, walking down the staff table. "This is our new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, Quirrel."
Nigel went wide eyed, diving under the table shrieking, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Brewster stepped back abit, before he continued.
"Our nurse, Madam Pomfrey..."
A large, purple headed robot with a single, yellow eye, rose in her chair, this was Gypsy, from Mystery Science Theater 3000, after a quick bow, began to idly hum to herself.
"This is Sprout, the head of Hufflepuff." Hild waved her dirty gloved hands to the students. "Next to her, McGonnagal, head of Gryffindor..." Mildred fixed her hair, bowing slightly.
"Flitwick, Raveclaw's headmaster." Traveling Matt stood up, bowing. "And one of the only ghost on the staff, is Proffessor Binns..."
Pops had a habbit, like Brewster's, of falling asleep at random. He, like Hoots, was covered in flower.

Kermit nodded, happy to give his throat a rest, then gasped, seeing Grover peeking over the Staff's Table, waving to the audiance. "Erm!...Thats all we have time for right now! Please, enjoy a quick bathroom break, a phonecall, maybe a snack?" the frog offered, as the hecklers chuckled in the theater box.
"I am starting to think this is more of a prison than anything." Waldorf said to Statler, who nodded.
"Yep, kept us in this box for a good fifty years, didn't they?" He shook his head.
A balding, old man, with sweater vest, bow tie, and crossed arms, then sat down inbetween them.
"Hey buddy, this is our theaterbox." Statler glared down at this new old timer.
"Yeah, we need to see a ticket." Waldorf added.
"You need tickets.... to see this garbage? Wow, what depressing times we live in." Walter shook his head.
Both Statler and Waldorf looked at each other, then nodded. Another E-Z Rest chair was brought in, and both offered Walter a suit similar to there's.

Well, hope this was good enough to please the Count, my only reader who actually types stuff.

The part of Draco went through some juggling on my part...Was originally gonna be Johny Fiama, then Pepe, then Lips, then Zippity Zap, the Mahna Mahna, then I came to Polly and Gonzo...
Polly outvoted Gonzo, and then Crabbe and Goyel came easy to me.

Oh, and the Hogwarts ghost are too expensive to do, by Muppet Standerds... But I know Nearly Headless would be Lew.

 

[The Count]

Aw... Actually... When you go to the Fanfic folder's front page and find your thread there, see those two numbers beneath it? The first one's the number of replies, the second's how many have stopped to read this. They may not be replying, but it's getting read, and loved. I heartily encourage you continue this.

Now then to review... Part 4 this is in fact.
Bad Polly = Draco Malfoi, Clueless Morgan = Vincent Crab, and Mad Monty = Gregory Goyle.
Good choices. This trio should come very easily to you to write for. Would recommend going over theprawncracker's Don't Trip The Driver or his current romp, A Mid-Age Crisis.

Zoot as the Sorting Hat, that makes me chuckle.

Hogwarts Staff, using a bit of chess terms:
Mildred Huxtetter = Prof. Minerva Magonnigle.
Upper left corner of the staff board, dressed in scarlet red with gold accents.
She'll be a tough teacher Gobo, but a fair-minded one and a very good ally.
Hilda = Prof. Pomona Sprout.
Upper right corner, dressed in topaz yellow with black accents.
Hard worker, Boober should enjoy her classes out in Greenhouse #2.
Uncle Travelling Matt = Prof. Filias Flitwig.
Lower left corner, dressed in sapphire blue with bronze accents.
Interesting choice, but then again, Ravenclaw House has some oddballs representing it throughout the franchise.
Sam the Eagle = Prof. Severus Snape.
Lower right corner, dressed in emerald green with silver accents.
The guy everybody loves to hate... Except those from his own house. Don't let enmities of the past cloud your judgment/perception of him Gobo.
DADA Set: Teacher 1
Nigel the Director = Prof. Quirinus Quirrel, already thought that was a clever touch.
Pops = Prof. Binns.
Would have to say that's a smart move... He won't put just the students to sleep with his classes, he'll put himself to sleep as well.
George the Janitor = Argus Filch and Gaffer = Mrs. Norris, natch, I applaud this.
Gypsy = Madame Poppy Pomfry... Yaey! Gypsy! But where's Cambot?

Other Students:
Roxy Marie = Lavender Brown.
Watch out for her Wembley. That's the source of most HBP trailers. "These girls are going to kill me Harry!"
Betty Lou and Prairie Dawn = The Patille Twins... Aw, just lovely.
Leon = Lee Jordan, yeah, he'll bring the needed huxterism for when announcing the quittage matches.

Only character I don't recognize is this Walter fellow.
And do you mean Lou Fraggle as Sir Nicholas de Mimsey Porfitton? Don't know why you say it'd be too expensive to have the house ghosts... There are after all the Ghosts who sang "I'm Looking Through You". Or Fughetta Faffner could be the Gray Lady (Helena Ravenclaw) and Uncle D could be the Bloody Baron. Just some added ideas.

Please... Post more soonerishkibbible!

 

[LamangoNumber2]

Walter is a puppet preformed by Jeff Dunham, a famous comedian. You can find clips of him on Youtube. Uncle Deadly, I guess I must give away his role...Is going to play Mad Eye Moody. Spoilers...Tonks is played by Mimi.

And Lew, I ment Lew Zealand. Based Solely on the neck ruffle.

 

[The Count]

Ah... Sorry. Lew, Lou, it gets confused after a while when working with Muppet names. That could work rather well actually. Very impressed at the two reveals here. So I'll just sit back and await the next installment with usual exuberant eagerness.

 

[LamangoNumber2]

Here it is, Chapter 5? Sure, why not... And now, as with all Muppet productions, something goes wrong...And the woman in the audiance is revealed! GASP!

Kermit, after spotting Grover in the last act, rushed up to him. "Grover, what do you want? I saw you snooping around."
"You call me?" Came the depressed voice of Droop.
"Erm, no Droop, not yet." Kermit reassured the depressed little creature, who sighed.
"Right...Call me when you need me..." And he was off, head hung low.
Grover watched Droop retreat, then turned to Kermit. "Froggy Baby, Frog my Heart, Froggy Friend..." Grover rested his hand on the amphibian's shoulder. "...I do not have a part in the play, do I?"
"Erm...Well, you said you'd get stage fright..." Kermit looked at Grover, who stared blankly into those sawed-off Pingpong ball like eyes, before laughing.
"Froggy! You know I'm a natural born actor! I just want to be in the play!" The young blue monster then pulled out a contract. "Just, just sign this..."
"What is it?" The frog questioned.
"DON'T READ THE TEXT!" Grover shouted, causing Kermit to flail, in result, caused Grover to flail.

Clifford, watching the audiance from the wings, chuckled, looking over to Kermit, fixing his shades. "Hey, Kerm, you know whose in the audiance, right?"
Kermit, after having a shouting flail match with Grover, hopped over to Clifford. "No, who?"
"J.K. Rowling herself..." Clifford pointed at J.K, who was making chit-chat with Floyd from the band pit.

"So, what caused you to write this series?" Floyd questioned, resting his arm over the side of the bandpit, his 'eyes' blinking.
Rowling thought for a second, then grinned. "I love magic, and the underdogs, so, it was only natural for me to write a book series about it."
Floyd nodded, then paused. "Well, you came to the right place. We may not be magic..." Floyd started, as Rowlf, who was tuning his piano piped in.
"But we're the underdogs now adays." He went back to tuneing.
Dr.Teeth, who was resting his head on his hand, looking bored. "Yeah, this is basicly, our first gig since DC almost Live..."
"... This is my first gig since the late eighties." Beard retorted, "At least people remember you guys, heck, even Lips is remembered more than me." Beard sighed sadly.
J.K smiled, patting Rowlf on the back. "You guys will make a come back, trust me. Just don't ever change..." She then took her seat, next to a bear with grey hair and sun dress. "They're very good you know..." The famous aurthor whispered to the female bear.
"Pffft, get ready to be shocked." Emily nuzzled to the back of her chair, yawning.

Kermit hopped out onto the stage, smiling. "Since we're still on the very start of book One, which is sad...We're going to have to skip afew unimportant scenes.... But, we're going to start now!" Kermit hopped backstage, and the curtains opened.

Junior, was sitting in his hut, looking down at an egg, with Gobo, Vicky, and Wembley surrounding the table, while Fang, or in this case, Sprocket, laid by Junior's feet.
"Hagrid...Is that...that..." Wembley started.
"A dragons' egg!" Vicky finished.
"Yep, got it from a funny little man at the Leaky." Junior said proudly. "Oh! Shh! I think it's about to hatch!"

The egg in question did, as it let off a burst of steam, and burst open, revealing an orange dragon, with red spikes going down his back, purple, yellow and green scales, one prominant tooth, and a chef's hat. "MAMA!" The Lachoy dragon hugged Junior, who looked utterly confused.
Kermit, sitting on the chair near the door.
"Little did they know, they where being watched..." He looked at the window, as Polly was standing there, eyes widened, before rushing off. "Now, the Trio had to make it back to the castle, with out the Head Boy finding them, they where doing this sneaking, to get rid of Norbert, Hagrid's baby dragon, who had a fondness for Choymein... They where bringing the hatchling up to Charlie, the second eldest of the Weasley Children...."
"I...I don't want to do it..."
"Oh just go on."
"I can't! I'm to nervous!"
"Just calm down, you look fine."
"Oh, alright..." Bert was guided onto the stage by Ernie, who took the time to wave at the crowd, chuckling. "Good luck Bert."
"Yeah, I'll need it..." He fixed his lime green glasses and red-wig, and started to patrol the 'hallway'.
Lachoy, covered in the see-through plastic sheet, carrying Vicky, Wembly and Gobo in his arms, looked down. "Which way guys?"
"Erm...Up those stairs."
"Righto." Lachoy then started to stomp up the stairs, as Bert looked on, half of the fake portraits on the wall falling and breaking in the happy orange dragon's wake. Bert turned to the audiance. "My only appearance yet, and I look like a fool..." He sobbed, walking off stage.

Dr.Teeth got out of the bandpit, took off his pink furred hat and dawned dragon hide boots, was now rushing up to the tower, as Digit took his place to play the music.
Dr.Teeth stood, eyes widened. "Where ya followed?" The golden tooth'd musician asked.
"I don't beleive so." Gobo answered.
"This the dragon?" Teeth petted Norbert on the nose, who released a purr.
"Thats him alright, take care of him, would you Bro?" Wembly asked.
"Sure thing, I'll get him out of here tonight... Get outta here." Teeth shoved the nuzzling dragon away, causing him to fall on his back, tearing a good chunk out of the sky backdrop.
Behind said Backdrop, was Biff and Sully, playing cards, instantly, both looking up in shock at being found, before Biff rushed out of sight and Sully, took off his hard-hat, and began to dance out of view.

Kermit sighed, sitting on one of the gargoyals of the tower, shaking his head. "Now, with the invisibility cloak..."
"Provided by Muppet Labs." Bunsen beamed from the wings.
"Yes, from Muppet Labs, Harry decided to find out what this sorcererererers stone is about."
Fozzie, peeking out through one of the tower's small windows held his hands up. "Its...about this big." He then held his hands apart, showing the size of the stone in question.
Kermit, doing a double take, glared down at Fozzie. "Thats bad, even for you, Fozzie! Now get outta here!"

In the Library set, Kermit, being more into his narrator role than ever, was leaning against a bookshelf, as Gobo walked by. "Harry slipped into the section no students where aloud to enter... What a little rascal, huh?"
Gobo grinned at Kermit. "I’m doing it for a greater good."
"Of course you are." Kermit answered, and read off the booklette, "But around the corner, Harry found Snape and Quirrell."

Sam, who was fixing his wig, and Nigel who was drinking coffee through a silly straw, both jumped in surprise as the lights aimed right at them.
"Oh! Yes..." Sam then grabbed Nigel, by the throat, pinned him to the wall. "Listen, Quirrell, you do not want me as an enemy...."
"Y-y-y-es I’m sorry, Severus, I...."
"Shh...we’re being watched..." Sam shifted his ‘eagle eye’ to where Gobo was, then reached out, trying to grab at the fraggle, until on of the lights suddenly fell on the bookcase behind them.
The four muppets currently on stage yelped, all looking at the rafters, to see Crash cackling. "Sorry ‘bout dat!" He rushed off, followed by Crazy Harry, who looked angered beyond beleif.
"Don’t go stealin my job, sir!" He rushed after Crash, weilding a stick of TNT.

Kermit, who was narrowly missed by the light, turned to the audiance. "Well, as you can see, we need time to re-gain our footing for this one...We may as well skip to the end...I’m sure Mrs. Rowling won’t mind."
"Not at all." J.K. smiled up at the frog.
"Thank heavens...Erm, Bo, could you clean this up?"
"I could, and I will!" Bo smiled to Kermit. "It is my job you know." He then lifted the broken bookshelf and light and carried them off set.
Nigel and Sam, still paused, looking around, until Nigel started to spazz.
"STUPID BALD EAGLE! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT OR I’LL TAR YOU!"
Sam just stared, before grabbing Nigel’s nose, placing it in a book and slamming said book shut, he then looked at the audiance. "Just to keep our mark..." He then marched off stage.

Statler, Waldorf and Walter all watched the chaos, finally Walter breaking the ice.
"So, do you guys beleive in Magic?"
"No..." The two hecklers answered at once.
"I do, get me a saw, and I can make that whole stage dissappear." His eyebrows went up, showing his way of humor, causing the two other geezers to laugh.

 

[The Count]

Sad that stuff will be skipped, but it has already. Eagerly awaiting another installment.

 

[LamangoNumber2]

Kermit, who was recapping the story so far, told about the Troll, who was played by Thog with a sign slung around his neck that said 'Troll' with a backwards R and what Kermit could only guess was a zero.

Gobo defeated Thog, in the most non-violent way. Where as Harry used the Troll's own club, Gobo just gently pushed the giant, blue gentle creature back into the wings.

Another scene that seemed to get a good reaction, was the Death Day party, for Nearly headless nick, played here, by Lew Zealand.

Another scene involved George and Gaffer chasing Peeves, who is played by a Woozle named Peanut, around the stage. Peanut cackled, throwing taunts and insults at the balding janitor and stage-cat.

Finally, after all that, Kermit got to the climax of this version of Harry Potter's first book.
Gobo, Wembly, and Vicky all went down through the hidden trapdoor, which was guarded by a over-friendly Barkley with Baskerville and Dog each holding onto his sides, making the appearance as the three-headed Cerebus like dog. After each task from one of the Teachers, Devil Snare, Keys, Potions, and giant wizard chess, Gobo alone made it to the final room, where Nigel was standing, looking serious.

"So, you came at last, h'okay?" Came a voice, and Gobo fell to his knee, clutching the drawn on scar and crying in pain.
Nigel began to remove the turban, and there, on the back of his head, was Pepe the Prawn, duct-taped to the Frackle like creature's head, obviously been there since the start of the play, as his antenae where bent, and his small sweater soaked in sweat.
"Now, give me the sorcerereerererererers stone..." Pepe tried to pass off the stutter in his voice, then panted. "Kermin, I can't do dis. I was under a sweaty turban for goodness sake man!"
"Just go on, you don't have to do it for long..." The frog nodded.
"Fine fine, but I won't like it h'okay?" the orange prawn promised.
"Stone? I don't have a stone...." Gobo caught up to the cue.
"Wait...you're supposed to have it." Kermit looked at the Fraggle, then the two others. "You two got it?"
"No..." Nigel blinked, as Pepe shook his head.
"Here it is!" Grover shouted, rushing onto the set, stopping, bowing to the audiance, and blowing kisses, before handing the stone, in the most dramatic way ever to Gobo.

Kermit scrunched his face, trying to keep cool. "Just then, when Harry found the stone to be missing, a magical stone fairy, who on a VERY rare visit, handed the stone to him. It was a once in a life time thing, so don't expect it to happen again." Kermit glared.
Grover, knowing the glare, rushed off. As they wrapped up this part of the play, the current cast of characters all bowed, before walking off stage, leaving Kermit to talk to the crowd.
"Like always, we'll see you next time..."
"Do you have to?" Came the cry of the three Hecklers.
"Yes! We're gonna give our best Chamber of Secrets, but we'll need alot of time to build the sets and what not.... So, give us a few days to prepare!" Kermit then looked into the wings, seeing Sam. "Oh, and we have a very special announcement for you all..."

Sam then marched onto the stage, holding a tiny flag, wearing a patriotic hat, and waved his flag rapidly. "Happy Birthday, America." as Crazy Harry then ran up to the blue eagle, holding his TNT plunger, and pressing down the handle, causing multi-colored fireworks to errupt from under the confused bird. Crash came running in, watching the colors and grinned. "Nice special effects!" He cackled, dancing among the sparks and falling blue feathers.

 

[The Count]

*Hahahaha... Loves the wrap-up, brief as it was. Is a lot of good still to comes. Though the DeathDay Party's from Chamber of Secrets, it was a nice nod to have it here instead. *Buys tickets from Scooter, I plan to have a seat here for the presentation of all other HP books. Post when you can please.