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In honor of Frank Oz's birthday, enjoy this fan fic celebrating Oz's birthday.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for The Muppets Celebrate Frank Oz, in which the Muppets honor the one and only Frank Oz, respected film director and puppeteer. And now, here's Kermit the Frog!"
"Hi ho and welcome", said Kermit, "Tonight, we celebrate the birthday of Frank Oz."
As the audience applauds...
"Frank Oz?", said the Frank Oz Muppet, puzzled, "never heard of him!"
"Frank Oz is one of the greatest film directors of all time", said Sam the Eagle, "He's directed such films as "Little Shop of Horrors, "Father of the Bride", "In and Out", and "The Score".
"That's right, Sam", said Kermit, "and he's also directed one of our movies, The Muppets Take Manhattan."
"He's directed us WEIRDOS???", said Sam.
"He's also one of the greatest puppeteers of all time", said Kermit.
"Puppeteer???", said a disgusted Sam, "that's WORSE!"
"Unfortunately, Mr. Oz cannot make it to tonight's ceremony, since he's busy directing something."
"That sounds like a good excuse to avoid the Muppets", said Waldorf.
"We should be directors", said Statler.
Statler and Waldorf laughed.
"But Frank Oz decided to do something special for tonight;s tribute. For some reason, instead of wanting a tribute to him, he asked us to show highlight reels of a few select Muppets."
The audience applauded.
"Well certainly Moi will have a highlight reel", said Miss Piggy.
"Of course you will", said Kermit, "but let's start off with the best of the one and only Fozzie Bear!"
Fozzie's theme music played as Fozzie entered the stage.
"Hiya, hiya, hiya", said Fozzie, "That Frank Oz guy must think I'm really funny."
"Well, he's not here to watch your highlight reel, is he?", shouted Statler.
"Well, uh, let's get started", said Fozzie.
The Fozzie highlight reel includes such clips as:
The audience reluctantly applauded.
"I can't believe they included that last clip", said Waldorf.
"I can't believe we're actually here", said Statler.
The two laughed.
"And now here's the best of Cookie Monster", said Kermit.
Cookie Monster brought out a film strip.
"Me best moments in this canister shaped... Like a... COOKIE!"
Cookie Monster then at the film strip.
"Oh no', said Kermit, "now we won't be able to see your best moments."
"You did a good job, Mr. Monster!", said Statler.
"There's more cookie-shaped highlights here as well", said Waldorf.
"Well, we can still show Cookie Monster's best moments", said Bunsen, "Beaker, bring in the machine."
"Mee mee mee mee", said Beaker.
Beaker brought out a machine slightly bigger than Cookie Monster.
"Now get in here, Mr. Monster", said Bunsen, putting Cookie Monster into the machine, "and now open your mouth."
Cookie Monster opened wide.
"With this machine, you can be a human projector", said Bunsen, "Now turn it on, Beakie!"
Beaker turned it on, and out Cookie's mouth was a projector showing the best of Cookie Monster.
Clips include:
The reel then burned apart... Because Cookie Monster ate the machine. Beaker ran in fear.
"Such delicious memories!", said Cookie.
"ME NEXT! ME NEXT!", shouted Animal, holding a film strip.
"Okay, Animal", said Kermit, "just don't eat the film strip until after it's over!"
Animal started biting into the film strip.
"No, I said DON'T", said Kermit.
"Oops", said Animal.
And the highlight reel started, featuring such moments as...
The audience applauded.
"Hey, Froggy babyyyyyyy", shouted Grover as he ran up to Kermit and gave him a slap on the back, "I am ready to show my highlight reel."
"Oh, okay", said Kermit, "Ladies and gentlemen, here is the best of Grover."
Highlights include:
The audience applauded.
Sam was looking on a computer.
"I am appalled", said Sam.
"What's wrong, Sam?", asked Scooter.
"I have just now looked at the plots to all of Mr. Frank Oz's movies, and they sound disgraceful!"
"But they are all very funny", said Scooter.
"That's part of the problem", said Sam, "Look at some of these plots. Little Shop of Horrors is about a talking plant that eats others, sounds weirder than you Muppets. Bowfinger is about stalking an actor. What About Bob is about a weirdo and a psychologist, and the weirdo is the one with the unhappy ending. And according to this, he couldn't even direct The Dark Crystal on his own. Now let me look at the plot to In and Out..."
"Uh, but Sam", said Scooter, "it's time to show your highlight reel."
"I don't c...", said Sam, then realizing, "My highlight reel?"
"Of course", said Scooter.
"I guess that Frank Oz guy does have some taste."
The highlight reel included:
The audience applauds.
"Oh, they like it", said Sam, "I am embarrassed."
At Bert and Ernie's table...
"I wonder who's going to be next", said Bert.
"Maybe it will be me", said Ernie.
"Yes, maybe it will be you", said Bert.
"Or maybe it will be Big Bird", said Ernie.
"Somehow I doubt it", said Bert.
"Or maybe it'll be Elmo", said Ernie.
"Oh, here's Kermit to make his next introduction", said Bert.
"And now here's the best of Bert!", said Kermit.
"Wow, what a surprise!", said Bert.
Bert's highlight reel includes:
"Oh Kermie", said Miss Piggy, "I think you've shown everybody else, so Moi knows who the next tribute is for."
"Oh?", said Kermit.
"But Moi will let you introduce Moi... Err, I mean, the next highlight reel.
"Okay", said Kermit, "So now here he is, the one and only Marvin Suggs!"
Miss Piggy is surprised, "Marvin Suggs?"
Highlight reel includes:
Marvin Suggs cheered.
"You liked me! You really liked me!", shouted Marvin.
"But now it's time for the best of Miss Piggy!", said Kermit.
"About time, too", said Miss Piggy.
The highlight reel showed:
"Did you know that that last song was written by Frank Oz himself?
"Who?", asked Miss Piggy.
"Uh, the director and puppeteer who we're honoring tonight", said Kermit.
"Oh, oh yeah", said Miss Piggy, "I'd like to think that he has given Moi a hand in everything."
"Well, for about 25 years, anyway", said Kermit.
Scooter came up on-stage.
"Hey, Kermit!", said Scooter, "we have an unexpected surprise guest!"
"Who, Yoda?", asked Kermit.
"No, it's the one and only...."
Frank Oz then came on-staged.
"It's Frank Oz!", said Kermit.
"Moi thought you were away directing", said Piggy.
"Well, I decided to give the cast and crew the day off", said Oz.
"Then why are you late?", asked Kermit.
"My ride from the airport didn't show up", said Frank Oz.
"Oh that is right", said Grover, "I was supposed to give him a ride from the air port and I forgot. I hope I do not get fired."
Oz was now surrounded by Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Bert, Cookie Monster, The Mighty Favog, Lefty the Salsman, Harvey Kneeslapper, Animal, and Frank.
"Anyway, I am honored to be honored here", said Frank Oz, "but really, you all are the real stars."
Sam walked up to Oz.
"They are all the real WEIRDOS!", said Sam.
The End
"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for The Muppets Celebrate Frank Oz, in which the Muppets honor the one and only Frank Oz, respected film director and puppeteer. And now, here's Kermit the Frog!"
"Hi ho and welcome", said Kermit, "Tonight, we celebrate the birthday of Frank Oz."
As the audience applauds...
"Frank Oz?", said the Frank Oz Muppet, puzzled, "never heard of him!"
"Frank Oz is one of the greatest film directors of all time", said Sam the Eagle, "He's directed such films as "Little Shop of Horrors, "Father of the Bride", "In and Out", and "The Score".
"That's right, Sam", said Kermit, "and he's also directed one of our movies, The Muppets Take Manhattan."
"He's directed us WEIRDOS???", said Sam.
"He's also one of the greatest puppeteers of all time", said Kermit.
"Puppeteer???", said a disgusted Sam, "that's WORSE!"
"Unfortunately, Mr. Oz cannot make it to tonight's ceremony, since he's busy directing something."
"That sounds like a good excuse to avoid the Muppets", said Waldorf.
"We should be directors", said Statler.
Statler and Waldorf laughed.
"But Frank Oz decided to do something special for tonight;s tribute. For some reason, instead of wanting a tribute to him, he asked us to show highlight reels of a few select Muppets."
The audience applauded.
"Well certainly Moi will have a highlight reel", said Miss Piggy.
"Of course you will", said Kermit, "but let's start off with the best of the one and only Fozzie Bear!"
Fozzie's theme music played as Fozzie entered the stage.
"Hiya, hiya, hiya", said Fozzie, "That Frank Oz guy must think I'm really funny."
"Well, he's not here to watch your highlight reel, is he?", shouted Statler.
"Well, uh, let's get started", said Fozzie.
The Fozzie highlight reel includes such clips as:
- Fozzie's Ventriloquism act
- "Good grief, the comedians a bear!"
- Patrol Bear getting assaulted by a criminal
- Moving Right Along
- "Top Banana"
- Fozzie's part of "The Rhyming Song"
- Fozzie's "Monster Jokes" (from Hey You're as Funny as Fozzie Bear)
- Fozzie as a weather bear on Today
- Avery Scrieber helping Fozzie with his act
- Fozzie singing "Money"
- Fozzie telling jokes in "At the Dance"
- Fozzie as First Mate Piggy
- Fozzie and the Snowman doing their act
- Fozzie at the comedy store
The audience reluctantly applauded.
"I can't believe they included that last clip", said Waldorf.
"I can't believe we're actually here", said Statler.
The two laughed.
"And now here's the best of Cookie Monster", said Kermit.
Cookie Monster brought out a film strip.
"Me best moments in this canister shaped... Like a... COOKIE!"
Cookie Monster then at the film strip.
"Oh no', said Kermit, "now we won't be able to see your best moments."
"You did a good job, Mr. Monster!", said Statler.
"There's more cookie-shaped highlights here as well", said Waldorf.
"Well, we can still show Cookie Monster's best moments", said Bunsen, "Beaker, bring in the machine."
"Mee mee mee mee", said Beaker.
Beaker brought out a machine slightly bigger than Cookie Monster.
"Now get in here, Mr. Monster", said Bunsen, putting Cookie Monster into the machine, "and now open your mouth."
Cookie Monster opened wide.
"With this machine, you can be a human projector", said Bunsen, "Now turn it on, Beakie!"
Beaker turned it on, and out Cookie's mouth was a projector showing the best of Cookie Monster.
Clips include:
- "C is for Cookie" (original)
- Cookie Monster eating the typewriter as he writes to Santa
- "Me having a bad cookie day!" (from Elmo in Grouchland)
- Robert McNeil interviews Cookie Monster
- "Breakfast Time"
- "Me Lost Me Cookie at the Disco"
- Alistar Cookie's introduction to "The 39 Stairs"
- Cookie eating Bert and Ernie's cassette and video camera
- Cookie Monster finishing off Gordon and Susan's car
- Kermit interviews Cookie as Little Red Riding Hood
- Twin Beaks
- Eating Cookie
- Cookie Monster eats Christmas cookies (from A Muppet Family Christmas)
The reel then burned apart... Because Cookie Monster ate the machine. Beaker ran in fear.
"Such delicious memories!", said Cookie.
"ME NEXT! ME NEXT!", shouted Animal, holding a film strip.
"Okay, Animal", said Kermit, "just don't eat the film strip until after it's over!"
Animal started biting into the film strip.
"No, I said DON'T", said Kermit.
"Oops", said Animal.
And the highlight reel started, featuring such moments as...
- Sweet Tooth Jam
- "Wild Thing"
- "Wipe Out"
- Animal on "Muppet Match Up"
- Animal meets Lou Rawls
- "Eat Drums! Eat Drums!"
- Animal eats through bars
- Animal attacks Murray Plotsky
- Animal's "Tweet Tweet" parts of "Rockin' Robin"
- Kermit interviews Animal
- "Fever"
The audience applauded.
"Hey, Froggy babyyyyyyy", shouted Grover as he ran up to Kermit and gave him a slap on the back, "I am ready to show my highlight reel."
"Oh, okay", said Kermit, "Ladies and gentlemen, here is the best of Grover."
Highlights include:
- Grover demonstrating near and far
- Grover giving Kermit ears
- Grover as a singing and dancing waiter
- Spider-Monster
- Chariots of Fur
- The King and I
- The Sound of Music
- Grover's opening portion of "Fuzzy and Blue"
- "Red and Blue"
- Proud of Me
- "I Am Proud of Me"
- "Special"
- Grover and John-John count backwards
- Super-Grover helps fix a computer
- Marshall Grover rides backwards (the season 40 skit)
- Grover counts blocks
- Kermit asks Grover if he can tell him how to get to Sesame Street
- Grover as the mouse in "The Night Before Christmas"
- Grover and John-John count backwards
- The ending to "I Whistle a Happy Tune"
The audience applauded.
Sam was looking on a computer.
"I am appalled", said Sam.
"What's wrong, Sam?", asked Scooter.
"I have just now looked at the plots to all of Mr. Frank Oz's movies, and they sound disgraceful!"
"But they are all very funny", said Scooter.
"That's part of the problem", said Sam, "Look at some of these plots. Little Shop of Horrors is about a talking plant that eats others, sounds weirder than you Muppets. Bowfinger is about stalking an actor. What About Bob is about a weirdo and a psychologist, and the weirdo is the one with the unhappy ending. And according to this, he couldn't even direct The Dark Crystal on his own. Now let me look at the plot to In and Out..."
"Uh, but Sam", said Scooter, "it's time to show your highlight reel."
"I don't c...", said Sam, then realizing, "My highlight reel?"
"Of course", said Scooter.
"I guess that Frank Oz guy does have some taste."
The highlight reel included:
- Sam's speech on nudity
- Muppet University
- The Eagles Nest: Noise Pollution
- Panel Discussion: Does travel broaden the mind
- Sam talks to Zero Mostel
- Sam lectures young Scrooge
- "You are all WEIRDOS"
- The ghost of Samuel Arrow
- "Sam's Song"
- Dick Van Dyke finds out Sam is collecting autographs
- Sam interviews William Shakespeare
- Sam kicks Rudolph Nureyev out
- "I'm an Eagle"
The audience applauds.
"Oh, they like it", said Sam, "I am embarrassed."
At Bert and Ernie's table...
"I wonder who's going to be next", said Bert.
"Maybe it will be me", said Ernie.
"Yes, maybe it will be you", said Bert.
"Or maybe it will be Big Bird", said Ernie.
"Somehow I doubt it", said Bert.
"Or maybe it'll be Elmo", said Ernie.
"Oh, here's Kermit to make his next introduction", said Bert.
"And now here's the best of Bert!", said Kermit.
"Wow, what a surprise!", said Bert.
Bert's highlight reel includes:
- Bert teaches Berniece to play checkers
- Bert's bust
- "La, La, La" (original)
- "The National Association of W Lovers"
- "Doin' the Pigeon"
- "Stick Out Your Hand and Say Hello"
- Bert dances with Connie Stevens
- "The Paperclip Song"
- Bert shows Ernie his bottle cap collection
- "I Wish I Had a Friend to Play with Me"
"Oh Kermie", said Miss Piggy, "I think you've shown everybody else, so Moi knows who the next tribute is for."
"Oh?", said Kermit.
"But Moi will let you introduce Moi... Err, I mean, the next highlight reel.
"Okay", said Kermit, "So now here he is, the one and only Marvin Suggs!"
Miss Piggy is surprised, "Marvin Suggs?"
Highlight reel includes:
- "Lady of Spain"
- "Yes, We Have No Bananas"
- Kermit interviews Marvin
- Marvin talks with Leslie Ann Warren
- "Witch Doctor"
Marvin Suggs cheered.
"You liked me! You really liked me!", shouted Marvin.
"But now it's time for the best of Miss Piggy!", said Kermit.
"About time, too", said Miss Piggy.
The highlight reel showed:
- "What Now My Love"
- "I'm a Woman"
- Miss Piggy and Joan Rivers
- Pigs in Space: Weight Problems
- Veterinarians Hospital: Cow
- "Snacksercize"
- "Our Love is Here to Stay"
- Miss Piggy rollerskates in Central Park
- "Heat Wave"
- "The First Time It Happens"
- "Waiting at the Church"
- "Pig Calypso"
"Did you know that that last song was written by Frank Oz himself?
"Who?", asked Miss Piggy.
"Uh, the director and puppeteer who we're honoring tonight", said Kermit.
"Oh, oh yeah", said Miss Piggy, "I'd like to think that he has given Moi a hand in everything."
"Well, for about 25 years, anyway", said Kermit.
Scooter came up on-stage.
"Hey, Kermit!", said Scooter, "we have an unexpected surprise guest!"
"Who, Yoda?", asked Kermit.
"No, it's the one and only...."
Frank Oz then came on-staged.
"It's Frank Oz!", said Kermit.
"Moi thought you were away directing", said Piggy.
"Well, I decided to give the cast and crew the day off", said Oz.
"Then why are you late?", asked Kermit.
"My ride from the airport didn't show up", said Frank Oz.
"Oh that is right", said Grover, "I was supposed to give him a ride from the air port and I forgot. I hope I do not get fired."
Oz was now surrounded by Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Bert, Cookie Monster, The Mighty Favog, Lefty the Salsman, Harvey Kneeslapper, Animal, and Frank.
"Anyway, I am honored to be honored here", said Frank Oz, "but really, you all are the real stars."
Sam walked up to Oz.
"They are all the real WEIRDOS!", said Sam.
The End
