The Muppet Show with VeggieTales

[syahdenbey]

Bob: Okay, Larry.

Larry: Yeah Bob?

Bob: It's time for the theme song.
Larry: Uh, yeah, Bob. What do I do?
Bob: Hmm, okay, well, how about this? I know! You play the guitar.
Larry: Bob, I don't have any hands.
Bob: Oh, you're right. Okay, okay, uh... you play this.
Larry: Oh, I don't want to play that. I'll look silly!
Bob: Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
Larry: Nope. Not going to do it.
Bob: It's for the kids.
Larry: Oh. Okay. But they better not laugh.
Bob: Okay. It's time now. Better go on out there.

Kermit the Frog: ladies and Gentlemen It's the muppet Show
(THEME SONG PLAYS)

Female Chorus:
It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight

Male Chorus:
It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right
It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight

Waldorf:
Why do we always come here
Statler:
I guess we'll never know

Waldorf:
It's like a kind of torture

Both:
To have to watch the show

Kermit:
To introduce our guest star
That's what I'm here to do
So it really makes me happy
To introduce to you...

Muppets:
So now let's get things started

Audience:
Why don't you get things started?

Kermit:
It's time to get things started

Muppets:
On the most sensational inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational
This is what we call the Muppet Show!
(Gonzo PLAYS The Trumpet)

 

[syahdenbey]

Bob: HI Kids, and WELCOME again to The Muppet Show, voted the best show in the world out of all the shows hosted by frogs.
I'm Bob the Tomato.
Larry: And I'm Larry the Cucumber, and I'm so excited, I just can't hide it!
Bob: Well, there's no need to hide it, Larry. We want everyone to know we're making our big Show
Larry: On the Big Screen! Uh, Bob, now everybody will be able to see my mole. (an actual mole is shown behind Larry)
Bob: Don't worry, Larry, they have makeup take care of those things.
Larry: Oh, good. Just think, Bob. We're making a Show about Jonah, the incredible story of a man who swallowed a whale!
Bob: Uh, Larry, I think you're mixed up.
Larry: Am not?
Bob: Larry, Jonah didn't swallow a whale.
Larry: Did too!
Bob: Okay, let's ask the expert. Archibald Asparagus is going to play Jonah in the show. He's in his dressing room. Hey, Archibald!
Archibald: Um, yes?
Bob: Did Jonah swallow a whale?
Archibald: What? That's preposterous! I never heard such a ridiculous fabrication in my life!
Larry: Yes or no?
Archibald: No! The whale swallowed Jonah. Not the other way around!
Bob: Thanks, Archibald! See, Larry?
Larry: I thought for sure Jonah swallowed something. Maybe it was a goldfish.
Bob: I know, it's hard to admit when you're wrong. But even Jonah learned how important it is to do that. Okay, Archibald, it's time to come out! They're ready for you on the set.
Archibald: Ah, I'm staying right here, thank you.
Bob: Staying? Why?
Archibald: I'm not a big fan of being swallowed by a whale!
Bob: Uh, well it looks like we have a little negotiating to do.
Larry: Are you sure they're gonna be able to hide this thing?

 

[syahdenbey]

Kermit the Frog: a family from Bob and Larry? how nice

That's my family
That's my family
That's my family
That's my family

I have a dad and brother
A baby sister and a mother
I know that they love me
They are my family

That's my family
That's my family
That's my family
That's my family

I have a dog and cat
Two fish and a dad
My sister lives with me
They are my family

That's my family
That's my family
That's my family
That's my family

That's my family
That's my family
That's my family
That's my family

Statler: That was a Wonderful Blessing
Waldorf: and is blessing isn't it?
Statler: yes
Both: Dohohohohoho

 

[syahdenbey]

Bob: Alright Archibald, come out of your dressing room, so you can play Jonah in our Show!

Archibald: Absolutely not! Being swallowed by a whale is much too risky! Find a stunt asparagus!

Larry: That's okay, Bob! While we're waiting for Archibald, let me welcome you to my very first VeggieTales Memorabilia Auction.

Bob: Auction?

Larry: Just look at the priceless memories around here, Bob. (items Larry brings up are shown) Here's a piece of chewing gum used by the Peaoni Brothers in that epic Veggie Classic, "Esther... The Girl Who Became Queen". And, the Larry-Boy Helmet from "Larry-Boy! and the Fib from Outer Space!"

Bob: Uh, Larry?

Larry: Now, how much would you pay for a jelly doughnut only partially eaten by Jerry Gourd on the set of "Dave and the Giant Pickle"?

Bob: Partially eaten?

Larry: Do I hear $25? $38? $77 and ½?

Bob: $77 and ½?! (Bob bumps the pedestal holding the Larry-Boy helmet, causing the left plunger to shoot out and hit the pedestal holding the jelly donut. The donut flies back towards Bob, lands on the floor, the helmet falls and squishes it.) Oops!

Larry: Uh-oh. You smoosh it, you buy it, Bob.

Bob: Larry, it was an accident.

Larry: Doesn't matter.

Bob: But I don't have $77!

Larry: Uh, that's $77 million.

Bob: WHAT?!

Larry: It's a very rare donut.

Bob: But I don't have that kind of money! You gotta show some mercy, Larry!

Larry: Mercy, eh? How much will you give me for it?

Bob: Mercy is free, Larry. Just as God shows us mercy, we need to be merciful to others!

Larry: Oh! Hey, that's what Jonah learned! Oh alright. Mercy granted. You can keep $77 million.

Bob: Ah, Gee! Thanks, Larry. Now would you help me get Archibald out of his dressing room?

Larry: Sure. But uh, would you mind scraping the jelly off the floor?

Bob: anyway here is noo-loo and nah-bah singing about buddys

 

[syahdenbey]

[Intro]
Ladies and gentlemen
Let me introduce the best duet in the sea

[Verse 1]
I'm a baby fish and I love to sing
Baby shark is my best friend
We swim together, we jump together
We're best friends in the sea
Baby shark

I'm a baby shark and I love to dance
William is my best friend
We swim together, we jump together
We're best friends in the sea

[Verse 3]
William, baby shark
Were best friends in the sea
High fin
We swim together, we jump together
We're best friends in the sea
Best friends in the sea

[Outro]
Hello? I'm here

 

[syahdenbey]

Larry: Good Work Guys. Alright, Archibald! We've had enough of this nonsense. You've come out of your dressing room this instant!

Archibald: No! I won't be in your Jonah show. Not if I have to get swallowed by a whale.

Larry: (starts clucking like a chicken)

Bob: Larry, that's not very compassionate. You're going to hurt Archibald's feelings!

Larry: It's called tough love, Bob.

Archibald: Stop it!

(Larry continues clucking more, Bob walks away and turns off the lights.)

Larry: Ah! Lights.

Bob: Hmm. Maybe they blew a fuse on a Big Show.

Larry: Uh, Bob! You know how I get when the lights go out, I'm... I'm...

Bob: Afraid of the dark?

Larry: I'm just more of a day person!

Bob: (starts clucking like a chicken)

Larry: Bob, that's... that's not very compassionate.

Bob: Exactly.

Larry: Oh. I see the error of my way. I'll change! I'll become the most compassionate cucumber ever! If only the lights would come I'd...

(Bob turns the lights back on)

Larry: Oh. Shweu.

Bob: Well, now you can start being compassionate Larry. Just like God was to Jonah.

Larry: Bob, were you the one who...

Bob: It's called tough love, Larry.

 

[syahdenbey]

Noo-loo: la la la Ia i am sing a song and I can't go wrong and I WOAH (Bump)
(the audience Laugh)
Noo-loo: Hey No Fair

Larry: Sorry Noo-loo. Uh, Bob?

Bob: Yeah, Larry?

Larry: I figured out how to get Archibald out of his dressing room so he can play Jonah in our new Show.

Bob: Well, how?

Larry: By giving him... Courage!

Bob: Oh, great thinking, Larry. Maybe you should slip some under his door.

Larry: Not a bad idea, Bob. But I had something else in mind. Oh, Archibald!

Archibald: I'm not coming out, and you can't make me!

Larry: Fear not! I'm going to inspire you with courageous heroes... from the silver screen!

Bob: Uh, Larry?

(Larry comes back sporting a whip and fedora.)

Larry: (singing Indiana Jones Theme) I'm Indiana Larry!

Archibald: Sorry, not inspirational.

(Walks away. A black screen with a hole appears and Larry returns wearing a black bowtie.)

Larry: (with a not very good British accent) The name's Bond. Larry-Bond!

Archibald: Ah, no. And that's a terrible British accent!

(Larry hops away and comes back in his Larry-Boy suit.)

Larry-Boy: Archibald needs a hero! I AM THAT HERO!

Archibald: I'm afraid not! I mean, I am afraid still.

Bob: It's okay, Larry, real courage doesn't come from watching Superheroes, it comes from believing in God. That's what Jonah learned!

Larry: Oh, good. I had no idea how I was gonna fit in that Lassie costume.

Bob: Larry how are we going to get Archibald out from his room?

Larry: I don’t know. I think he's afraid that a whale's gonna swallowing him!

Bob: Larry, a whale is going to swallow him. That’s what happened to Jonah!

Larry: Oh. Well no wonder he doesn’t want to get out!

Bob: But he doesn’t have to be afraid! He just needs to obey and trust God!

Archibald: I heard that!

Bob: It’s true. Just trust and obey.

Archibald: That’s easy for you to say. You don't have to do anything dangerous!

 

[syahdenbey]

Kermit: BREAK TIME
Announcer: And now it's time for silly songs with larry the part of the show where larry comes out and sings a silly song.

There are colours all around us
They're right before our eyes
If you take two and mix them up
You're in for a surprise

Colour mixing, mixing colours
You can try it, too
Choose two colours, mix them round
Discover something new

Take red, like a strawberry
Add yellow, all buttery
Stir them round, what have you found?
It's orange (Just like me!)

Let's try another colour mix
A new surprise for you
Take two colours, mix them round
Discover something new

Take yellow, like a sunshine
Add blue, just like a sea
Stir them round, what have you found?
(It's green, naturally!)

Let's try another colour mix
A new surprise for you
Take two colours, mix them round
Discover something new

Let's start with red, add some blue
Then mix them in a vat!
Stir them round, what have we found?
Purple! Imagine that!

Remember:
Red and yellow, orange hat!
Yellow and blue, green mat!
Blue and red, purple cat!
(Meow!)

Now everybody stand and cheer,
Our old friends Black and White are here!

Take any colour, and add white
You'll turn that colour pale, that's light!
Black has a different set of tricks
Darkening colours when it's mixed!

Take all the colours, bold and bright
Black makes them dark, White turns them light

Mix up black and white together
Get a shade like stormy weather
The colour of a rainy day
Black and white mix to make grey!

Colour mixing, mixing colours
With the Printing Crew
We can mix up lots and lots
We'll show you that it's true

Let's take some magenta
Add yellow, such a bright thing
Give it a stir and see what's there...
It's red! (Ha! Exciting!)

Let's get racing with cyan
Zoom in magenta, too
We'll mix the lot, what have we got?
You've made the colour blue. Cool!

(I know blue and yellow can make green, but the Printing Crew mix it?)

If we take some yellow
Add a touch of cyan
Stir them round, what have we found?
It's green, just like I am!

Wow! We can make lots of colours!
And we can make even more!

You've watched our colour mixing
We've put on quite a show
Now, it's your turn to mix it up
Go on, give it a go!

Announcer: This has been silly songs with larry tune in next time to hear larry say

Larry: I love mixing colours

 

[syahdenbey]

Bob: Hi kids were back at the Show. I'm B-

Larry: Bob! Bob! What are we gonna do?

Bob: About getting Archibald to come out of his dressing room? Well uh...

Larry: No, no, no, no. I mean about the water.

Bob: What water? I don't see any water.

Larry: Exactly. How are we gonna make a movie about Jonah without any water?

Bob: Larry, I'm sure that we...

Larry: We'll have to get all the kids to pray for water. A whole ocean of water!

Bob: Well uh, okay, but I'm not sure if it'll do any good if Archibald doesn't come out of his dressing room.

Larry: Well then we'll have to pray for that too, Bob. You'll pray, won't you kids?

Larry: Archibald, please come out of the dressing room!

Bob: If you don't come out, how can you share God's love with others in our new movie?

Archibald: Uh, I'll send them a valentine. Now leave me alone!

Larry: Hmm. (gasp) I have an idea!

Bob: Uh oh.

Larry: Archibald, If you'll come out and share God's love by playing Jonah, I'll share something with you.

Archibald: Really? What would that be?

(Larry brings back a huge bucket of popcorn)

Larry: My giant super jumbo movie popcorn!

Archibald: Oh, my! Did you get extra butter?

Larry: Extra Butter? Um, just a minute. (He hops offscreen to put butter on the popcorn. But while doing so, he gets some on himself.) Oops! (He slides back and forth across the countertop.) Whoa!!!!!! Wee, ow!

Archibald: What's going on out there?

Bob: Um, it's nothing, Archibald! Larry is just a little...buttery.

(Larry puts down the popcorn)

Archibald: Buttery?! You're supposed to get the butter on the popcorn, not yourself!

Larry: Oh! Like I didn't know that!

Archibald: This deal is OFF! I'm NOT coming out!

Bob: Nice going, Larry.

(Larry slides by standing on his head.)

Larry: Whoa! How about some salt? You want some salt?

 

[syahdenbey]

Baby Shark: Let's Play Ball
It's your turn, come and try your best
Keep your eye on the prize, and forget the rest
It's time to swing, it's time to race
Show 'em you're ready, show 'em your game face!

It's game time, yeah, yeah!
Show 'em your game face
It's game time, yeah, yeah!

It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's time to play the game
Under the sea is having fun all day
It's time to move and it's time to make waves, it's game time...
Show 'em your game face!
It's game time, yeah yeah!
Show 'em your game face!
It's game time, yeah yeah!
Show em your game face!