The Muppet Show with Paul McCartney

[FrackleFan2012]

Paul: Oh, Paul, another fine mess you've gotten yourself into. (Fozzie keeps rambling and Paul gives us an "Ohhhh boy" look.)

That's a great part! I love Fozzie's act. You have one typo and you said "Paul" instead of "Fozzie".

 

[cjd874]

That's a great part! I love Fozzie's act. You have one typo and you said "Paul" instead of "Fozzie".

Not an error, Paul is talking to himself...he doesn't want to listen to Fozzie tell jokes all day. Nonetheless, I will indicate that.

 

[FrackleFan2012]

Not an error, Paul is talking to himself...he doesn't want to listen to Fozzie tell jokes all day. Nonetheless, I will indicate that.

Oops. Sorry about that.

 

[cjd874]

Oops. Sorry about that.

No worries, FrackleFan2012. I think I might add the final part of the story tonight, so stay tuned.

 

[FrackleFan2012]

No worries, FrackleFan2012. I think I might add the final part of the story tonight, so stay tuned.

Ok. Thank you very much.

 

[FrackleFan2012]

Sorry, FrackleFan2012 (& anyone else watching this thread). No time to continue with the story tonight. Lots of college work to do right now, also following the Giants football game. But I hope you are enjoying this story!

Thanks. I hope you do well on your college work and the Giants football game (are you watching it live or on television?).

 

[cjd874]

To FrackleFan2012 and everyone else,
I decided to not keep you waiting. My assignment is due Tuesday (I have time tomorrow morning) and I am listening to the football game on a local radio station. Here goes: the final part...

Swedish Chef:
Chef sings the theme song while spinning a colander on his left hand. He beats the colander with a spatula and then flings both items over his head. Chef tries to make orange chicken using a chicken and some oranges, but the chicken and the oranges refuse to cooperate. He chases them with his cleaver, but the oranges stop short and the Chef stumbles over the oranges and rolls off the stage.
Musical Number:
Paul sings "Jet" aboard a plane taking off. Link, Scooter, Miss Piggy, Beauregard, and Slim Wilson (the country singer with a ponytail, played by Jerry Nelson) play assorted passengers on the plane. Applause at the end.
Balcony:
Waldorf: Wonderful!
Statler: No, I hated it.
Waldorf: What? Why?
Statler: Unlike that jet, the song never really got off the ground.
Both: Dooooo-hohohohoho!!!!
Gonzo's Act:
Kermit: And now, folks, it's time for some culture on this show...if you consider culture to be insane daredevil acts. You ready, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Yep! Glad you helped me find those avocados!
Kermit: Haha, yeah...Ladies and gentlemen, the Great Gonzo!
(curtain opens to show Gonzo atop a high diving board with a tub of guacamole below him. Gonzo is blindfolded and is holding an accordion.)
Gonzo: Thank you, thank you! Tonight I, the Great Gonzo, will launch myself off of this diving board into a vat of guacamole 50 feet below! While I am falling, I will play "Those Endearing Young Charms" on the accordion! Drum roll, please...
(Animal rolls a drum across the stage.)
Gonzo: Uhhh, not exactly what I had in mind. (Animal plays drum roll.) There, that's better! (takes deep breath and launches himself off the board...he is blindfolded...)
(Thog and Timmy Monster enter with a huge bowl of chips)
Thog: Oooh! Guacamole!
Timmy: Just what we need for our snack!
(They eat the guacamole and chips.)
Gonzo: What?! NOOOO!!!
Kermit (rushing onstage): Guys! No! Stop eating that guacamole! You're---
BLAAAAAMMMMM!!!!! (Gonzo crash-lands in the now-empty tub.)
Kermit: Oh sheesh. Curtain!!! (curtain closes)
Balcony:
Statler: That act made me think of seeing my first wife's wedding dress.
Waldorf: Why is that?
Statler: I wanted to run away as soon as I saw it!
Both: DAWWWW-HOHOHOHOHO!!!!!
Backstage Scene 5:
(Paul and the EM band are in Paul's dressing room.)
Floyd: Heh, heh! Yeah, we're glad to be hanging out with you right now. This is the grooviest time we've had in years.
Paul: Well, it's been awesome talking with you all.
Dr. Teeth: Yeah...it is a mighty big blessing to be in your presence. You're just as much of a hip dude as everyone else we know!
Janice: Yeah, like you're rully cool and you've been everywhere and you've met so many people and sung so many songs.
Zoot: Yeah, radical, baby...whatever.
Animal: LOVE PAUL!!! LOVE PAUL!!! AAAAAHHH!!!
Paul: Haha, thanks guys. Thanks so much.
Floyd: But I'm still bummed over the closing number, man. It's a shame we can't play together.
Paul: Of course we can! We can jam right now, mate!
Floyd: Hey...that's so crazy, it might just work! (Paul sits down at an upright piano and the EM band get their instruments.) What do you wanna play, Paul?
Paul: I dunno...maybe an older song?
Floyd: Whatever suits you, my bass-playing British buddy.
(Paul and Floyd trade verses on "Hey Jude." After the bridge, Kermit runs in...)
Kermit: Whew, there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you guys!
Floyd: What's up, green guy?
Kermit: There's a spot for you and the band at the end of the show!
Floyd: No way! Are you pullin' my leg?
Kermit: No, that would be Animal. (laughter as Animal starts pulling on Floyd's leg)
Floyd: Animal, heel! Sit! Stay! (Animal obeys)
Janice: Like, what happened, Kermit? Daphne Sue was, like, supposed to close the show, rully.
Kermit: Well, Sweetums saw the bird and...well, let's say Sweetums had an early dinner. (everyone laughs) The stage is set up already. Everyone onstage!
Paul: Hey, well what do you know. It worked out after all, man! Gimme five! (high-fives Floyd and exits the room with Janice and Dr. Teeth)
Floyd: Your wish is my command, Kermit my main froggy honcho! Heh heh heh! Come on, Animal. (Animal dashes out, dragging Floyd along with him)
Closing Number:
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, our closing number with our special guest star, Mr. Paul McCartney!!! Yaaaaaayyyyy!!!
(audience bursts into applause as curtain opens. Classic EM stage setup with grand piano at stage front, black platforms with bright lights. Dr. Teeth is on synthesizer, Animal on drums, Janice on electric guitar, Floyd on bass, Zoot on tambourine and saxophone, and Paul on piano. Paul sings a "Hey Jude"/ "Day Tripper"/ "Lady Madonna"/ "Helter Skelter" medley with backup vocals from the band. Huge ovation at the end.)
Final Scene:
Kermit: Well, that just about does it for tonight. But be-FORE we go, let's say thanks to our special guest star, the amazing Mr. Paul McCartney!!! (audience cheers as Paul enters & waves)
Paul: Thank you so much, Kermit. I had a great time, but you know, I want to say hi to Gonzo. Where is he? He's one of my favorites, and I couldn't find him anywhere.
(Kermit gulps)
Kermit: Well, uh, he kind of had an accident.
(on cue, a bandaged Gonzo is carried across the stage on a stretcher held by two Whatnot doctors)
Paul (aghast): Gonzo, what happened to you?
Gonzo: Oh, I dove 50 feet into an empty vat that was supposed to have guacamole in it. Landed right on my head, too.
Paul: Oh.
Paul & Gonzo in unison: THE USUAL... (Gonzo & doctors exit)
Kermit: We'll see you next time on the Muppet Show! (applause & theme song as Paul chats onstage with Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Zoot, Floyd, and some of the birds from the opening number)
Balcony Closing:
Waldorf: Well, I learned one thing from tonight's show.
Statler: What's that?
Waldorf: I learned that I'm never coming back here again!
Both: DAWWWW-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!
(da-da-da-da-da-DA!)
(Zoot's note: BWAAAA!)

THE END

 

[cjd874]

The Muppets:

Frank Oz as Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Animal, and Rock Star
Jerry Nelson as Floyd Pepper, Robin the Frog, Crazy Harry, Thog, the Moon, Slim Wilson, Chicken, and Bluebird
Richard Hunt as Scooter, Janice, Beaker, Statler, Sweetums, Moondance Singer, Bluebird, and Oranges
Dave Goelz as Gonzo, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, Zoot, Beauregard, Timmy Monster, Bluebird, and Oranges
Louise Gold as Daphne Sue, Bluebird and Oranges
AND
Jim Henson as Kermit, Dr. Teeth, the Swedish Chef, Waldorf, Link Hogthrob, and the Newsman

Thanks to the Muppets and Sir Paul for the inspiration!
Written by cjd874.
Thanks for reading!

 

[drteethcool]

love your story.
I give it 20 stars

 

[cjd874]

love your story.
I give it 20 stars

out of what? 30? 20? 5?....just saying.