The Life Of A Frig

[RedPiggy]

ROFL. Bobo makes a great security guard, always good for a laugh. He comes up with the most bizarre (and, sadly, probably realistic) stories.

 

[The Count]

Huh? Thought it was Bear from the Big Blue House. Oh well, I won't ruin the rest of the illusion. *Leaves to find another fic update.

 

[RedPiggy]

Oh, sorry, my bad. I guess I just saw the bear security guard thing and assumed it was Bobo. *shrugs*

 

[The Count]

Nah, is sokay. *Offers to Kelly.

 

[Wiseman]

actually you're both sorta right

I couldn't remember the name of the bear security guard so I chose Bear from the Big Blue House. Originally, I had wanted Bobo, but I was stuck for his name. In an effort to come up with something I could work with I combined the two. Also, the pig cannibalism joke actually is a combination of how cows get mad cow disease (human farmers who want their meat fast and cheap feed them ground up animal (usually beef) parts which they were not meant to eat) and a story I read a while back about a real pig that stole some bacon from someone's campfire). BTW: Now that I think of it my pig rabbi might be a little offensive. Unfortunately, I can't take him back, but I can offer an apology to any Jewish readers.

 

[Fluffets]

Huh? Thought it was Bear from the Big Blue House. Oh well, I won't ruin the rest of the illusion. *Leaves to find another fic update.

Same here, count!

 

[Fluffets]

I couldn't remember the name of the bear security guard so I chose Bear from the Big Blue House. Originally, I had wanted Bobo, but I was stuck for his name. In an effort to come up with something I could work with I combined the two. Also, the pig cannibalism joke actually is a combination of how cows get mad cow disease (human farmers who want their meat fast and cheap feed them ground up animal (usually beef) parts which they were not meant to eat) and a story I read a while back about a real pig that stole some bacon from someone's campfire). BTW: Now that I think of it my pig rabbi might be a little offensive. Unfortunately, I can't take him back, but I can offer an apology to any Jewish readers.

Interesting, both the storys sound messed up though!

 

[Nick22]

i read all of the chapters. took a while, but it was worth it. it's a pretty awesome story. good work! keep it up!

 

[Leyla]

I find this story very amusing and entertaining, and, of course, ushy gushy! Keep up the good work!

 

[Wiseman]

last installment

This will be the last installment in The Life of a Frig series. Before I present it I should warn you that it has a reference to a character from the Puppet Up improv series so be prepared for a little uncensored fun.

Chapter 22 The End​

Setting: Kermit and Piggy’s apartment. Little Bruce is now a little over three years old. Ever since he got his back legs the happy couple have been having a lot of guests drop in unannounced hoping to see the baby hop out of the tank. What nobody knows is that today will be the day.

“I wish Bruce would hurry up and get his lungs, I’m getting tired of just watching him swim around in the tank,” said Piggy

“Yeah, especially since now that he is getting bigger and demanding more food we really can’t see that much. Every time I add food into the tank he disappears behind it for about two days.” said Kermit.

“Well it was four days until you made the cleaning job easier by adding that filter that Dr. Strangepork recommended.” said Piggy.

“Yeah, I just don’t want to be going back to that store again it’s too big.” said Kermit.

“I know we selected that filter together, Sir Didymus had me ride on a Landstrider that he had imported from someplace called Thra, they’re fast but extremely uncomfortable.” said Piggy.

“Yeah, I know he had three of them apparently that sheepdog that he used to ride on was getting a little old for the job.” said Kermit.

“Well since Bruce got his back legs, we’ve entertained more guests than we did during the entire run of The Muppet Show, Muppets Tonight and The Jim Henson Hour put together,” said Piggy, “I’m getting a little tired of that too.”

“Yeah I’m still cleaning up from that time when Oscar decided to stop by and bring the swill personally and Marjory The Trash also showed up.” said Kermit.

“Here’s more,” said Piggy giving Kermit a three week old banana peel.

“I’m tempted to throw it into the tank,” said Kermit, sniffing the thing.

“Please don’t,” came a strange voice.

“Who said that?” asked Kermit and Piggy together.

“It came from the tank,” said Piggy.

They both looked at the tank. Bruce’s eyes were peeking above the water.

“Please don’t, I’d much rather have a fly or maybe a mosquito dipped in chocolate,” said Bruce, looking over the tank at his parents.

“Bruce, you have lungs,” said Piggy.

“Yes,” said Bruce.

“But how did you learn to talk so fast?” asked Piggy.

“From listening to all of you for the past three years. As a result of all those guests you've had I now speak several languages plus I know a few swear words from that time when that creepy old man stopped by. Who the **** was that guy anyway?” said Bruce.

“I don’t know,” said Kermit. “I never met him before, but he said he had worked with my old boss’s son Brian.”

“Well don’t let him in here again he scares me,” said Bruce.

“To tell you the truth he had me a little worried too,” said Kermit.

He walked over to a jar next to the tank. “I’ve been saving these flies since Marjory came by she brought them with her,” said Kermit, “I’m going to release them and we’ll test out that tongue of yours and see whether it’s like mine or your mother’s.”

“Okay Daddy,” said Bruce.

“Here goes,” said Kermit, unscrewing the jar. Moments later the room filled with flies as Bruce leaped from the tank, testing out his tongue, legs and lungs all at the same time. Apparently everything worked perfectly.

“Kermie, this is wonderful,” said Piggy.

“Yeah, we have a son.” said Kermit.

“I think I’d like to try again we need a sister for him.” said Piggy.

Kermit promptly fainted.