The Digit Code (a Flick Fic)

[RedPiggy]

THE DIGIT CODE
[Author’s Note: This is in my Flick Fic universe. It follows Spring Forward, where the Sinclairs and other dinosaurs are brought to the modern world thanks to a teleportation accident by MuppetLabs.]

[Fade-in. Kermit the Frog is standing behind a desk. On top of the desk is a pink box with a lid and a giant purple question mark on the front side. The background is sky blue. The image is full-screen, not taking up the entire widescreen movie screen dimensions, making it seem so small and unassuming.]

Kermit (looking at the camera happily): Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here, and *wraps an arm around the box* this is a Mystery Box. You see, if anybody can guess from the clues I give, what is in this box, then they can keep what is in this box.

[The scene quickly fades to black as ominous music plays while close-ups of various items scroll past the camera in a montage. Images of a long white banner with the alphabet written in green scrolls from right to left, a close-up of the Swedish Chef’s hand with a wedding ring floats up from the bottom, a centered video of Bunsen and Beaker playing with a teleporter before it explodes fades in and out, a close-up cropped shot of the giant blue butterfly in the flowery field of “Heaven” from VMX floats from top left to bottom right, a centered video of a bright light flashing in a forest revealing an awakening Sinclair family fades in and out, a still shot of Nicky Holiday threatening Kermit with a gun zooms in and dissolves, the White Lion from the Jim Henson Hour appears against a black background, rolling his eyes, and finally a centered video of Bunsen and Digit bantering and then Digit pounds away on his keyboard, cutting to the scene where Richfield falls. The scene fades out to black. The screen stays black as the music suddenly pops out at the audience to surprise them, with the title in large white font: THE DIGIT CODE. The scene cross-fades with the backstage of the Muppet Theater. Various Muppets are contributing to set pieces in the background. Kermit bursts out of the top right-most door on the second floor of the backstage area, with Gonzo in hot pursuit. The camera follows them.]

Kermit (running): I don’t have time for this, Gonzo!

Gonzo (running): I promise it won’t take very long at all!

Kermit: No!

Gonzo (dashing to the front and kneeling before Kermit, who nearly falls on top of him): Please?

Kermit (scrunching his face): Absolutely not!

Gonzo (tags along as Kermit moves to the front desk, his usual spot near the wall phone): C’mon, Kermit! You never let me have any fun anymore!

Kermit (growls and whips around, arms flailing, exasperated): You’re still employed here, aren’t you?

Gonzo (shrugs, looking at the floor): Well, yeah ….

Kermit (maintaining his exasperated tone): Then consider yourself emotionally supported!

Scooter (walks by with Pepe, shrugging): And now we’re even financially supported.

Pepe (nods): You’re welcome, h’okay. *pauses for a beat, then elbows Scooter as they near the end of the screen* No, no – I don’t mean you have to stop, h’okay. You may be continuing with the singing of my praises for the using of red tapes to our advantages, señor.

Scooter (stops and glances at Pepe): Thank you.

Pepe: Oh, you’re quite welcome.

Scooter (shakes his head): But you’re still only getting twelve bucks an hour. *walks left off-screen with Pepe*

Kermit (shaking his head and talking more calmly to Gonzo): Look, Gonzo, it’s not that I don’t trust you.

Gonzo (sighs): Are you still mad about the Flintstones sketch?

Kermit (sighs, turns away, writing on a notepad): Just because bees were used in clam shells for shaving doesn’t mean you should’ve given that same thing to Piggy.

Gonzo (gulps, looking up at the only dressing room on the second floor with a gold star on it): Is she mad about the historical inaccuracies or is she mad that her neck is so swollen it can touch her knees?

Kermit (groans, frowning): The problem is that bees sting, they don’t cut anything, Gonzo.

Gonzo (shrugs): But it looked awesome in the cartoon!

Kermit (turns and puts a hand on Gonzo’s arms): Not all of us get too thrilled with misery and destruction, Gonzo.

Gonzo (downcast): But … but … that’s what proves we’re even alive.

Kermit (shakes his head, taking his hand off and shrugging): Breathing proves we’re alive. Heartbeats prove we’re alive. We don’t have to be shot out of a cannon toward a six-inch-thick dab of jelly on the wall just to see if it’ll cushion the impact.

Gonzo (thinks for a bit, then perks up): Hey, I haven’t tried --.

Kermit (clamps his mouth shut): No. *glances at the other Muppets working on set pieces* Don’t you guys have a sketch to do? *watches as the Muppets leave for the stage with the set pieces, turning back to Gonzo, resting an elbow on the desk* Gonzo, I can shrug off pushier salesmen than you. What makes you think I’ll give in?

Gonzo (shrugs, fumbling around his back pockets): Well, you know that day care center where we used to hang out as kids? *pulls out a large rolled up piece of paper and unrolls it to reveal an oil painting of Piggy in a French can-can outfit, with a little pink rollerskate in the bottom left corner* Don’t let Camilla know, but I still have this.

Kermit (appears shocked at first, but shrugs and walks to peek at the stage, not looking at Gonzo): You know, a lot of the stuff we think about our childhoods is all in our heads. We let our imaginations fill up all the blanks a kid has growing up.

Gonzo (shrugs slightly and rolls the paper back up): You know, you’re only blocking that all out because she --.

Kermit (whips around and barks): I’m not getting into this, Gonzo! *storms off toward the back door, but we hear him jiggle a lock and chain* AAARRGGH! *walks back up the small staircase, to Gonzo* Fine. I give up. *shrugs* You want to know the ancient secret that will knock the socks off Muppetkind? *puts his hand to his heart* Well, it’s all in here. You can nag me all you want, but I just simply can’t reveal the secret.

Gonzo (waits a few seconds): What secret?

Kermit (surprised): You weren’t nagging me over some mind-bending secret?

Gonzo (shakes his head, shrugging): No, why? Do you know any? *pulls out an old small black box with a tiny lens on the front* I just wanted to use this daguerreotype to take your picture for the next playbill.

Kermit (pauses for a bit): Uh, why not just use Scooter’s new digital camera?

Gonzo: Pshht. As if! *holds it out closer to Kermit* Kermit, it’s a dagu … erreo … type. It’s like one of the first cameras ever made! *hugs it* It’s such an important part of photographic origins.

Kermit (chuckles, nodding): Okay, Gonzo. I’ll do your picture. Where do you want me?

Gonzo (pointing to the floor in front of the staircase)

Kermit (nods and stands next to the banister)

Gonzo: Uh, Kermit? I need you to lie down in this picture, with your arms and legs all stretched out.

Robin (comes down the stairs): Can I help?

Kermit (frowns): Hi, Robin. Gonzo’s trying to get me to pose for a picture right now. How’s Piggy?

Robin: Uh … I think the lotion’s helping. But I don’t think you’ll be happy with some of the new words I’ve learned.

Kermit (gawks at him)

Robin (walks off, shrugging): She was really angry and kept telling me to pardon her French. *stops* Uncle Kermit? *pulls out a cellphone, where we can hear bad audio playing of Piggy screaming* How come I didn’t learn these words in French class?

Kermit (nervously closes the cellphone and puts it away): Uh … never mind. Thanks for your help, Robin. Go make sure the band has the right sheet music for the closing number, okay? Floyd keeps shoving it back under my desk.

Robin (nods): Okay, Uncle Kermit.

[Fade-out]

 

[The Count]

Mystery box? That one of the kind that you headbomp to make a growth mushroom pop out of it or some other power-up like a 1-up green mushroom, flying feather, or fire flower?
I'll trade you for this sky blue canister marked with either a letter E, L, or M if you want.

The bit with Robin was funny...
But I have to give you major points for the painting of Piggy that Gonzo still has. Ah, the Tale of the Phantom Roller-Skate from The Muppet Museum of Art. That was one of my fave episodes... And I still hold dear the visuals from the song Art Is For Your Heart.
Baby Gonzo: Do you wonder just how blue is Blue Boy?
(Baby Gonzo as the painting's titular character.
Baby Kermit: Maybe he'd be happier in green.
(Grown-up Kermit is then seen in a similar painting.
Baby Scooter: Do you know the painting about the farmer and his wife?
Baby Piggy, holding a hand-drawn illustration of the painting: Things would be much prettier if I were in the scene.
(Then the shot changes to American Gothic with Grown-Up Piggy and Kermit).
Oh, and the story... The hockey game at the beginning with Scooter and Skeeter and Fozzie in red hockey jerseys. Then the accident... And the whole museum was to make it up to Skeeter.
Thank you for this. *Happy place am I in now, speaking like Yoda am I why, not sure am I.box? That one of the kind that you headbomp to make a growth mushroom pop out of it or some other power-up like a 1-up green mushroom, flying feather, or fire flower?
I'll trade you for this sky blue canister marked with either a letter E, L, or M if you want.

The bit with Robin was funny...
But I have to give you major points for the painting of Piggy that Gonzo still has. Ah, the Tale of the Phantom Roller-Skate from The Muppet Museum of Art. That was one of my fave episodes... And I still hold dear the visuals from the song Art Is For Your Heart.
Baby Gonzo: Do you wonder just how blue is Blue Boy?
(Baby Gonzo as the painting's titular character.
Baby Kermit: Maybe he'd be happier in green.
(Grown-up Kermit is then seen in a similar painting.
Baby Scooter: Do you know the painting about the farmer and his wife?
Baby Piggy, holding a hand-drawn illustration of the painting: Things would be much prettier if I were in the scene.
(Then the shot changes to American Gothic with Grown-Up Piggy and Kermit).
Oh, and the story... The hockey game at the beginning with Scooter and Skeeter and Fozzie in red hockey jerseys. Then the accident... And the whole museum was to make it up to Skeeter.
Thank you for this. *Happy place am I in now, speaking like Yoda am I why, not sure am I.

 

[RedPiggy]

Well, it's not just some random scene thrown in for the heck of it, or even just for characterization. I've already outlined the entire thing in Notepad. It's just a matter of creating setting and dialogue for the characters now. I can't guarantee it'll be even 60 minutes' worth of material, but I'll just tell the story anyway. Of course, the "page-a-minute" rule only really applies if you're just dealing with dialogue. Saying a song occurs or there's a car chase or something doesn't have anything to do with how long it takes on the screen.

I was going to make parody names for the characters, but I think I like it better that they're just them, kind of like how The Great Muppet Caper was just a story but everyone used their real names. That, and I can't get the South Park parodies out of my head, and I didn't want to get that icky, LOL.

I'm kinda proud of myself for the casting. I don't like writing cast lists at the beginning because if one knows the story, they can guess what's going to happen. However, I've made sure not to be so close to the movie (I don't have the book) that you would easily see the ending even if you figured out who everyone was. There will be the "traumatic ancient secret" in this story, but I've put some twists in there to make it different.

 

[The Count]

Yaey that you've got it pretty much jotted down for where to go next.
South Park parody? Which one? There are so many... The only thing I can pull off the top of my head at the moment is the 200th Episode, that and the Scooby-Doo parody starring Corn.
Oh, and I've got no idea where this is headed. Didn't watch the Tom Hanks movie, haven't read the book. Drag, movies I shoulda gone to see when they were in theaters, but I get out so little. Meh. Just waiting till the day personal teleporters/transporters are perfected and put into mass civilian use.
*Beams out.

 

[RedPiggy]

[Fade-in. A cramped office with papers littered all over is shown. A computer is on the messy desk. Brochures for the American Museum of Natural History can be seen as well. A whiteboard on one wall has photos of Muppets and Dinosaurs on it. Red markings angrily pointing out the circled dinosaurs are the key are hastily scribbled on. A thin Caucasian man with graying brown hair appears in a khaki outfit. He is very distressed.]

Man (angrily throwing some paper on the pile of paper on his desk, speaking in a British accent): They just simply don’t look natural! How can the curator call my research a waste of time? As if studying bacteria in bathwater is more important than a class of creatures with no real origin! *plops down at his desk, staring at his computer, his voice calmer* Oh, Jerome … could it really just be magic? *types on his computer, watching as a video image of Robbie Sinclair appears* Hello, Mr. Sinclair. Perhaps I might have another word with you?

Robbie: Oh, hi, Mr. Tushingham --.

Man: Sir David, if you please, sir.

Robbie (rolls eyes): Of course, my bad, Sir David Tushingham. What would you like to know today?

Tushingham: I was hoping to continue our conversation on the evolution of your species, Robert.

Robbie (stares at him dryly): You are aware that evolution takes like a bazillion years and I’m just pushing twenty, right? Just because I’m from sixty million years ago doesn’t mean I can tell you about the origins of the planet.

Tushingham (sighs): I know that! The origin of the universe is a done deal! I just want to know --.

Robbie: I just don’t see why you can’t just roll with it. I mean, who cares what the facts are?

Tushingham: Facts aren’t meant to be lived with! They are meant to be evaluated ad nauseum! How do you think internet forums stay in business? Surely you don’t believe they merely accept things and then go outside and play some croquet, do you?

Robbie (groans, shrugging): Okay. Just asking. Why not just ask Muppet Labs? Aren’t they based in New York? I guess you could talk to Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. He’s a member of the North American Society of Tinkerers. I saw him a couple of years ago. He and his assistant teleported us to modern Oregon by accident. I guess they might be able to help you out. Maybe they could teleport you to the time period you’re asking about. I mean, what’s better than just seeing for yourself?

Tushingham (startled into silence for a few seconds): See … for myself? What if … what if there’s … danger?

Robbie (smirks): A necessary risk for getting at the root of the issue, right? What if you just went on a global trek, hunting down all the clues, and at the end you discovered that the closet skeleton you were looking for just happened to be there like the legends said?

Tushingham (pondering this idea)

Robbie (shrugs): Of course, that’s assuming the ones who spread the legend didn’t just bury a skeleton there for the heck of it. The problem with legends is that you have to assume the first ones who spread them were telling the truth. A lot of legends are like weight loss commercials that use pictures of skinny people while failing to mention those pictures are of people before they were ordered to gain weight for the quote-unquote “before” picture.

Tushingham (hanging his head): I’ll never finish my book. My career is effectively over. If I don’t make any headway, I’ll be canned and reduced to hawking over-priced items on television.

Robbie: Well, you could always join my mom’s show ….

Tushingham (scoffs): As if! I have better ambitions than to end up parodying sitcoms!

[A new window appears on the screen. It is an instant message and Robin the Frog’s picture is the avatar.]

Robin’s IM: It is an emergency. Please help.

Tushingham (incredulously typing): I’ve got my own existential crises.

Robin’s IM: We must meet at KFC. The Weirdo will not follow me there. Uncle Kermit is dead and the clues left behind are something you can help me with.

Tushingham (typing): Kermit the Frog?

Robbie (tapping his camera): Hello? What’s the problem? You know it’s rude to stop talking suddenly?

Tushingham (to Robbie): Oh, go eat some children. *closes out Robbie’s webcam image, typing to Robin* Why are you IM’ing me about your uncle when you should call 911. Don’t you kids get taught anything on public television?

Robin’s IM: I think there are mysterious mysteries to be solved. Uncle Kermit wanted me to see them. You in or not?

Tushingham (sighs, typing): Which KFC did you have in mind?

[The scene cuts to a parking lot just outside a KFC. Dramatic lighting and music and camera angles emphasize the unease of Tushingham as he waits by his compact car and Robin as he hops onto the hood.]

Robin (looking around, whispering): Pssst.

Tushingham (turning to see Robin): Are you the --?

Robin (shaking his head): No! No names yet! Not ‘til we’re inside! The … *looks around nervously* … the Weirdo might be lurking about.

Tushingham: If this is all a secret, why are we eating at some fast food locale?

Robin: Oh, the Weirdo finds eating chicken offensive. It is a strict taboo in his culture. He’ll be punished if he comes within a mile of a KFC.

Tushingham (blankly): He’ll be punished? His culture isn’t one of those silly ultra-liberal tree-hugging groups, is it?

Robin (shakes his head): Oh, no, that’s not it at all. His girlfriend’s a chicken.

Tushingham (nods): Ah, he’s henpecked, then. *sighs* Aren’t we all at that age?

[The scene cuts to the interior. They are seated in a corner booth, trying to remain comically inconspicuous.]

Tushingham: So, you say your uncle kicked the bucket?

Robin (sniffles): I’m afraid so. I found him dead on the ground. There were chalk drawings all around him … and under his stiff, cold body. *sniffles as he hands Tushingham some pictures* I took these before the Weirdo could catch me. He seemed alarmed I walked in on my dead uncle. I’m certain various nefarious motives are involved.

Tushingham (looks at the pictures): Hm. Kermit’s arms and legs are splayed out like that Da Vinci pose. There are thick straight lines emanating from his wrists. There also seems to be a sketch of a hand, um, well ….

Robin (nods): It’s like it’s coming up from below and grabbing the back of his neck or something. It reminded me of that old PSA they used to show at my parents’ home in the swamp. It was called “Biology 101: Frog killer”.

Tushingham (clears throat): Yes, ahem, well, all around him are various drawings. Let’s see, a little baby doll, some knives, that thinking statue thing, and, hm, I’m not quite certain --.

Robin (peers at the picture): Oh, that’s a club sandwhich.

Tushingham (nods): Ah. *puts the pictures down* I wonder what they all mean. They are, perhaps, symbols of a super secret society ethically bound to protect a vital secret from the public in order to prevent mass hysteria.

Robin (deflated): Oh. I guess we should just forget it, then. I’d hate to have my uncle die and then be responsible for bringing about mass hysteria.

Tushingham: Did your uncle or your parents ever tell you the significance of these symbols?

Robin (shocked): Of course not! Why would I come to you if I knew all the answers? It’s not exactly like you have to be involved in the plot because you’re the human main character, you know!

Tushingham (glances at the camera): Oh.

Robin: Besides, I come to you for help and all you do is say you don’t know! Big help you are, Mister!

Tushingham (sighs and eats a chicken breast): I never admitted to being some sort of fancy-pants symbologist. I maintain a safe and secure environment free of any environmental pollution that might damage the exhibits.

Robin (dryly): You’re a janitor? Boy, did I make a mistake coming to you. Do you have to be shown how to open the door too?

Tushingham (frowns): Don’t get smart, little boy. Environmental maintenance is a vital aspect of running a museum.

Robin (gasps with excitement): Did you get a chance to meet the grouch and the Sith?

Tushingham (voice rising): I am in environmental maintenance! You want useless? Go find a security guard for the Smithsonian! They apparently just give those positions away!

Robin (noticing a large white flash outside the window in some bushes, gasping): Oh no, the Weirdo! He’s followed me!

Tushingham: I thought you said he wouldn’t come within a mile!

Robin (shrugs): I was pretty sure they got back together by now ….

Tushingham (sighs, rolling his eyes): Oh, very well. I’ll take you to some fellow NAST members. They should be able to help. *grabs Robin forcefully and exits the restaurant*

 

[RedPiggy]

[The scene transitions to Muppet Labs. There are throwbacks to various Muppet Labs sketches, including the Banana Sharpener, the Gorilla Detector, the Teleporter, and the Automatic Wastebasket. There are also movie and special items, such as the Insta-Grow Pills and that Wish Helmet thing from Letters to Santa.]

Bunsen (messing around with a box of tools): Beakie, have you seen my Automatic Fire Creator?

Beaker (hesitantly meeps)

Bunsen (stops and turns toward him): Beaker, please don’t tell me you borrowed it. *gasps* That’s how you did that video! You borrowed my Automatic Fire Creator!

Beaker (meeps in a grumbling protest)

Bunsen: Don’t take that tone of voice with me! Another instance of such blatant insubordination and I’ll team you up with Van Neuter!

Beaker (gasps with horror, meeping in a pleading tone)

[Tushingham and Robin casually stroll into Muppet Labs, eating ice cream.]

Robin: It sure was nice of the Weirdo to pay for our ice cream.

Tushingham (nods, licking the ice cream cone): He’s a very strange chap, but he has very good tastes in dessert.

Bunsen: Excuse me, may I help you? *approaches Tushingham* Aren’t you Sir David Tushingham, the man trying to write a book about Muppet origins?

Tushingham (nods, shaking Bunsen’s hand): Yes, and I was also one of the founding members of The North American Society of Tinkerers … uh … well … before it ….

Bunsen (nods): Yes, there has been some slight tension as Muppets started joining the group. *shrugs and turns back to his tool box* Very sad that humans can be such inflexible creatures. At any rate, how may Muppet Labs be of service to you?

Robin (not letting Tushingham speak, approaches Bunsen): Dr. Honeydew, sir, we have some pictures the Weirdo took of my late Uncle Kermit. We need you to look at them.

Bunsen (interested): Oh, Mr. Kermit has passed away? *tsk tsks* Sadly predictable.

Robin (shocked): How can you say that? Did you know of some morbid plot to kill my Uncle Kermit?

Bunsen (shakes head): Oh, on the contrary, little Robin! He’s a frog. He croaked. *shrugs* Do the math.

Robin (gawks at him)

Bunsen (shrugs): Besides, with his death, there is the frustration of having to acquire our licensing fees from an estate executor. These things are so much more pleasant when the deceased is alive.

Beaker (sighs and snatches the pictures from Bunsen and looks at them)

Tushingham (irritated): Back in my day, NAST members stood for progress! Look what it’s become – a silly nonsensical parody of good old fashioned hard work.

Bunsen (nods): And how many devices have you created that can successfully bridge time and space?

Tushingham (silent)

Bunsen (nods): I thought so. If we are to work together to solve this mystery, you might want to adjust your attitude settings a wee bit. We Muppets are indeed filled with mayhem and silliness, but it’s our unconventional thinking that let an organization known as a club for bored retirees become a modern paradigm of success. And, might I humbly add, if you were such an expert in your field, you would have asked us our opinions at the very beginning of the movie.

Tushingham (sighs and turns away, mumbling to himself): I wasn’t even in the first scene, you melon-headed doofus.

Beaker (walks up to Bunsen and meeps quietly to him, trying to keep the pictures away from Robin)


Robin (confused): You don’t have to hide them from me, Mr. Beaker, sir. I brought you the pictures, remember?

Beaker and Bunsen (look at each other and shrug)

Bunsen (takes the pictures and nods): Yes, I see your point, Beaker. *to Robin* I believe these are intended to be a grocery list.

Robin: But … I don’t … I think it’s probably a little more involved than that. What is worth killing Uncle Kermit over?

Bunsen (nods): To the computer, dear Beaker! *runs over to a large computer and scans the images* With this modern technology, our computer will analyze the images and provide absolute proof. *watches the screen*

[The image soon takes up the entire frame, the various images cycling through over and over again. Soon a large red number one appears.]

Tushingham (peeking from a distance): Muppet Babies shouldn’t think of using knives to make club sandwiches?

Bunsen (pensively): Well, sharp objects can be tremendously unsafe. *watches a large blue number two appear on the screen* Rodin is thinking of making his child into a club sandwich?

Beaker (meeps tentatively and types on the keyboard)

Bunsen: What do you mean we’re being too literal, Beaker?

Beaker (elbows Bunsen out of the way, typing)

Bunsen (watches and gasps)

Robin: What is it?

Bunsen: Why, Beaker, the implications are positively astounding!

Beaker (nods, meeping, then gasps and starts to freak out)

Tushingham: Oh, what is it now? Have you learned the answers or not?

Bunsen (starts shoving Tushingham and Robin toward the Teleporter): No time! Our systems are being hacked this very instant! *pauses and turns to Beaker angrily* I thought I told you to update our firewall!

Beaker (meeping angrily)

Bunsen (screaming): That is not what the Automatic Fire Creator was made for!

Tushingham (struggling): But ….

Robin (struggling): But ….

Bunsen (turns his attention back to them): No time!

Robin: Is it the Weirdo?

Bunsen (shoves them in the Teleporter): Worse! It’s the Monitor! It has to be! We’ll send you to a colleague of mine! *pushes some buttons* Bye bye now!

Tushingham (alarmed): Wait!

[Tushingham and Robin simply disappear with a booping sound effect like on The Muppet Show. They appear in a large dark room, filled from floor to ceiling with television and computer monitors. Hundreds of videos are playing, as well as computer games like Solitaire. Some of the clips are from Spring Forward’s finale, some are from The Muppet Show and Muppets Tonight, and some are Muppet and Disney specials. The monitors are arranged to form a small corridor that spirals to the center from the room entrance and are both old monitors and modern ones. There are also several projectors creating small holographic images of various scenes from the monitors, including Dinosaurs.]

Tushingham (looking around in awe)

Robin (doing the same): Wow. Look at all the televisions!

Tushingham: The electricity bill must be phenomenal.

Robin (staring at some monitors): Do you think this is the lair of the evil Monitor that tried to hack into Dr. Honeydew’s lab?

Tushingham: Pssht. Don’t be foolish. Doesn’t the Monitor living among hundreds of monitors seem a little, oh, I don’t know, a bit blatantly obvious?

Robin (walking through the small corridor): Maybe you’re right. That’s why they made Obi Wan Kenobi the villain in that second movie instead of Magneto. Having a hero be the villain is less expected.

Tushingham (smiles): Maybe we’ll discover you’re the villain.

Robin: Ha! I’m just a kid. What do I know about being a villain? *doesn’t noticed they’re being followed by a blue blur on the monitors*

Tushingham (laughs): Maybe it’ll be revealed your unassuming uncle is the actual villain.

Robin (stops and turns around angrily): You take that back! Uncle Kermit wouldn’t hurt a single fly!

Tushingham (aghast): He’s a frog! He eats them for breakfast!

Robin (angrily): That’s disgusting! Flies are only good after dinner!

[A large whistle appears in mid-air, with cartoony Muppet eyes and whistles loudly. Even some characters on the monitors can be seen holding their ears in discomfort. As the two stop arguing and gawk, the whistle morphs into Waldo.]

Waldo (goofily): Guys, guys! There’s no need to shout! Ahem. I am Waldo, the next generation of holographic technology. How may I be of service to you?

Robin: Actually, Dr. Honeydew --.

Waldo (laughs): Say no more, little Robin! I can have you back to Muppet Labs across town in a jiffy!

Tushingham: He sent us here! On purpose – I think.

Waldo: Hmmm. On purpose? Well, that’s new. *bows to Tushingham* It’s a true honor to meet you, Sir David Tushingham. Digit and I are big fans of your work in paleontology. Perhaps one day we can get you a spot on a commercial hawking our easy to use home paleontology course.

Tushingham: I’m afraid I’m not desperate enough to debase myself so easily yet.

Waldo (nonchalantly): Well, if you ever change your mind, let us know? *guides them through the narrow corridor* We here at Muppet Central excel in bringing you all kinds of knowledge. Our monitors are detecting multimedia signals all over the universe. Want to know how much a yip yips? We’ve got that on file somewhere. Want to know how many milliliters of spooble a phoob drinks in a day? We’ve got it all worked out, just for you. *flies up to a computer monitor flashing the blue screen of death, frowning* Well, it works most of the time, anyway. Be right back! *flies into the screen, turning blue like the background and grunting and squinting like he’s constipated until the screen starts flashing different colors and flies back out, satisfied* There, that’s better! *chuckles*

Robin (cautiously): Uh, Waldo, sir – how do you know my name?

Waldo (morphs into Kermit’s head and uses Kermit’s voice): Hi-ho, I’m Kermit the Frog, and after hosting a lot of vaudeville variety shows, I decided to take a small break and see what wonders modern technology could do for storytelling. I worked with a man named Jim Henson to spread zany or fanciful stories to audiences young and old. Although I finally realized I couldn’t afford the utilities anymore --.

Tushingham (scoffs, tapping Robin on the head): Told you so.

Waldo-Kermit: -- I realized just how powerful television could be. I started televising our shows in the Muppet Theater, as well as later becoming producer of a studio just down the street from Muppet Central. The staff of Muppet Central has been hard at work trying to keep the dream of screaming down the information highway all this time. *morphs back into his original form* Your uncle’s had his flippers in a lot of ponds, Robin. Making people happy has been the one unifying theme that everyone is always content to get behind. It doesn’t matter if it’s some bumper spot before commercials, educational television, vaudeville, or internet sketches. Kermit is determined to use whatever he needs to spread peace and love and happiness to the entire globe.

Tushingham (raises his hand): I have a question, actually … do you prepare this speech for all newcomers?

Waldo (shakes head): I am a Living Character and my responses are not pre-recorded for your convenience. *faces forward* We are almost at the center of the Control Room. My friend Digit will be most pleased to see you.

 

[The Count]

*Applauds wildly for the scenes just played before us. If Beaker used the fire-maker for making firewalls, then he's been hanging out with the others too long. Great shpiel Waldo delivered, it makes you smile.
But what's with this evil Monitor? Who knows what's being planned? Only the Shadow knows, or is that the Weirdo?
*Hahahahahahaha with the confusion. More when you can please.

 

[RedPiggy]

Well, naturally, when you have mystery movies like The Da Vinci Code, there has to be a villain you don't know is the villain until the last act or so, even if they cast someone you probably would've pegged as the villain as soon as he's introduced. I'm just toying with that concept so far.

As of right now, Tushingham is in Tom Hank's Robert Langdon role, Robin is that French chick Sophie or whatever (even though as I don't think any Muppet has actual female relatives except maybe Emily, that kinda leaves Kermit and Robin being the chosen relatives), Kermit is the museum curator guy who gets killed early on in the flick with a bunch of Da Vinci riddles spread in the museum, Gonzo is the masochist Silas (albeit way more sympathetic than Silas the Whipping Nutjob), and Bunsen and Beaker are just kinda there. I'm not having every single character be from the movie, primarily because that would mean having to watch the movie again, and there's only so much of that silliness I can take, LOL.

 

[The Count]

Yeah, too much of that and your head'll explode like Tom Servo's did when impersonating Hercule Poirot at the end of Tormented when he was fed with too many unanswerable questions about who he thought the killer was.
As for female relatives... You could've cast your new favorite character, Skeeter. *Innocent
Almost at my deadline goal, just two more to plug into the roster, they're meant to connect to the Multiplication Rock songs for 4 and 0, even if they're not entirely those songs' characters.
Talk to you soon. *Hugs Kells. *Bounces out ly.

 

[RedPiggy]

Hm, where could I put her, LOL ...