The Darker Crystal

[muppetmayhem]

Hello evry1,
I wanted to tell all of you that My sister and I are creating a chapter book called The Darker Crystal. It is the sequel obviously to the dark crystal. I am currently on chapter 3 called "the great escape" where the garthem are chasing Jen and Kira into the forest where they will meet Aughra. I also played out the movie on cassette tape with real recordings from the original dark crystal. I am compiling music and sound from compact disks and movies such as never ending story along with some soundtrack from many video games I play. I am hoping I will be able to publish the book and get Henson to recognize the sound recording of the sequel I have created. Perhaps I can get Henson into thinking about creating a movie based on the book and cassette recording. I would love to give you guys some portions of the book as a sample. So if you would like a bit of the book please email me at iceflameberg@yahoo.com and I will send you a portion of the book. I will hope to be able to publish the book so all of you guys can see it from beginning to end but again I am only on chapter three. remember i am at

iceflameberg@yahoo.com

 

[muppetmayhem]

I thought their would be more people who were interested, 14 viewed, 0 replied

 

[christyb]

Hey. Give me a chance. I don't have the internet at home LoL. I'll be sure and watch The Dark Crystal before I buy your book. ( I haven't seen it yet.)

 

[muppetmayhem]

It isn't published yet, I am now working on chapter 4. If anyone is interested I will email a section of what I have so far. I would like to share it with you guys. please reply

 

[FISH'N'WOLFE]

( I haven't seen it yet.)

Well I could help with that. I have it on DVD.

 

[christyb]

Thanks but I just rented it. Actually it's in my back pack See

* opens back pack and pulls out the DVD

Thanks for the offer though.

Muppetmayhem I would love to read a selection. Email a piece to me!

 

[christyb]

My response.

Ok..Here's my review from what I've seen. BTW sorry this took me so long. Now I edit kinda harsh so if you don't want to know then don't read it. By all means this is not an insult to you or your writing ability. This is just an opinion by your auidence (me) and the questions that are brought up. Also I am writing this in the opinion that I've never seen the movie or it's been a long time (althought I just saw it)...

You are right Chapter One is short. Almost too brief. There are lots of holes in the story from the very start. However, since I am not reading the complete work these questions may be answered later on. I like the added mystery that the story may not be complete yet. This sets up the tone that the inevitable is going to happen. I feel that the conversation of what had happened would be better off as a short prologue that sets the scene. That way you can jump right into the story with "a night sometime after everything happened" You have a few transition problems. Smooth these out and make your story flow. (I understand this is a rough draft and when you return for editing this is an easy fix) The last thing is first you say Fizgig is dead then suddenly he's alive again . A little confusing. (especially if your reader has never seen the first movie. You have to remember some readers may not have seen the movie for years or never at all so you'll have to write some pointless things in to clarify) One last thing is details, details, Details. They help the reader to see the image you are presenting. It doesn't matter if it takes you a long time to describe something. In the long run it helps you reader.

Well there you go. It's a great beginning and I encourage you to keep going. Even if it is never offically published finish it. That way you know you finished it. ( I have so many unfinished manuscripts lying around it's not even funny)

 

[muppetmayhem]

Thanks for the tips however in the chapter it said

"On his way back to his home, he is startled to death by his girlfriends pet Fizgig.
"WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Fizgig shrieks not recognizing Jen in the misty haze."


He was not startled to the death.

I thought after watching the movie over and over that my sequel sounded good so far. Oh well, I guess I can keep going and edit when I am done. I would love to give you chapter 2 if you would like. I am going to PM you right now.

If there are any other people who would like to view a sample of my story either reply or PM me with your email address.

Thanks again

 

[christyb]

Hmm...The email came kinda jumbled. (Computer error i guess) So I was guessing on some words. Your sequel is great. I didn't mean to give you the air that it wasn't. The point I was trying to get across is that the majority of your readers are going to be people causally browsing through the library or bookstore. So it's a toss up on whether or not they have seen the movie. I'm serious your sequel is good. Don't get depressed.