Okay, here goes...
About two months ago, I was just walking to work and all of a sudden, I blacked out. A week later I woke up in a hospital. Apparently a dog walker found me unconscious in the park but I have no idea how I got there. In fact, I remember nothing of what happened that week. After I was discharged, I carried out life as normal, but one night my feet began to hurt terribly. I was in the worst pain I had ever felt, agony in fact. I couldn't sleep and I was too afraid to move. When the pain finally stopped, I looked down at my feet and...well, see for yourself.
*kicks off shoes and reveals to have two goat hooves with green fur instead of normal human feet*