Chapter 21
Ding ding!
The familiar bell at Hooper's Store chimed as it did every day. Alan started up the day like he always did: turning on the lights, bringing in the newspapers, unlocking the cash register. All in all, it was a normal morning.
At least for the first few minutes.
"Hey! All right! Now we can get sometin' ta eat!" cheered a voice near the counter.
Alan turned around to see a rat sitting on the stool in front of him. The rat was hungrily eyeing the pictures on the menu.
"Rizzo! Rizzo!" called a voice. A much more familiar resident of the street poked his long, yellow beak through the door. "There you are! Boy, can you run fast!"
"Hi, Big Bird..." Alan said, a bit distracted. "wait a minute...are you talking to this rat?"
"Sure!" answered Big Bird. "He's a friend of Kermit's."
"Kermit?" asked Alan. "Who's...oh! The frog! Kermit the Frog. I remember you told me he lived here a long time ago."
"Yeah, and now he's here with a bunch of his friends and we're helping them all with something very important." Big Bird explained.
"What's that?" asked Alan.
"Oh," Big Bird continued. "'important' means that something matters a whole lot to someone. Like Radar is very important to me and water is important if you're a fish and.."
"I know what 'important' means, Big Bird," Alan gently interrupted. "what I mean is what is so important that Kermit needs help with?"
"I'll tell ya," Rizzo piped up. "But foist I'd like a stack of pancakes wit' maple syrup, a dozen scrambled eggs and another stack of blueberry waffles, heavy on the butter wit' a large glass of orange juice and a bowl of sugared strawberries."
Alan's eyes widened. "You have quite an appetite."
"I haven't hardly had anyting ta eat all night!" complained Rizzo. "da only ting ta eat over at his place," he nodded sideways "is boidseed! An' dat grouch has got some great accomodations, but just one dozen tins of sardines just don't cut it for a midnight snack! Dat guy told me to scram after I ate some of his moldy ol' cheese collection! Da noive!"
Alan just thought it was best to fix the breakfast and not say anything.
It wasn't long before Alan had more customers. There was the frog, Kermit was his name, followed by some very diverse individuals: various people in multicolored skin tones, a bear in a hat and tie, a pig with long, blonde hair, a chicken, several penguins, a shrimp and something bluish he couldn't identify with a hooked nose. A long, hairy arm gently slid through the open window. It's huge hand gently lowered a small frog to the counter beside Rizzo.
"Morning everybody!"
"Hey everyone!"
"Hi!"
"Is this Hooper's? Wow, it sure has changed."
"Let's get some breakfast!"
"Waak waak!"
"Yeah, I'm hungry."
"Mee moh mee mah!"
"Can someone read the menu? I can't see."
"QUIIII-EETTTT!" yelled Kermit.
"So anyway, I said to the furry, blue creature 'if they're all about Healthy Habits nowadays, then why don't you like eat granola cookies? Then they'll like stop calling you the Veggie Monster and'--" Janice glanced around. "--oh."
"Listen gang, we don't have much time, so let's get right down to business. Did anyone you talked to know who might've done the picture?"
Heads shook around the room, accompanied by negative murmurs.
"No one?" Kermit's hopes sank. Surely it had to be someone on this street!
"Just remember chief, there's still a lot of kids to ask." reminded Scooter.
"Exactly," Kermit nodded. "that's why our Sesame Street friends will keep on asking kids while we're gone."
"How much time do we have?" asked Big Bird.
"Just a few days more. Not much time."
"But what happens if you find out that the person you need is here?" asked Alan.
"It's really very simple," said Kermit. "you can bring the kid to Hensonville, we'll make announcement for KMUP, the kid and the parent will sign a form at the Hensonville City Hall and that's that."
"There's only one problem." said Alan.
"What's that?"
"We don't know how to get there," said Big Bird as his eyelids lowered slightly. "Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Hensonville?"
Kermit laughed. "It's pretty easy. You can go one of two ways," he pointed in midair. "you can take the first curved road like this. Zzzzzssssshhhhkk!"
The rest of the Muppets watched, amazed, as Kermit drew in midair. As he did, a bright, white line trailed after his finger. When Kermit lowered his hand, there was a backwards "C" hovering over the counter.
"How did..." began Fozzie. Big Bird and Alan, however, looked at Kermit's demonstration as though it were perfectly normal.
"Then, you can take the next curved road like this. Zzzzzssssshhhkk!" Kermit drew another curved line beneath the first. When he was done, the lines looked like a number '3'.
Some of the Muppets tried drawing in the air to see if white lines would appear for them, too. It didn't work for them.
"Or you could just take the main road straight down. You'll only cross the curved lines at the first, second and third intersections, like this. Zzzzzzzsssshhhhkk!" Kermit drew a vertical line next to the curved ones. "And there you are."
"Hey!" Big Bird smiled. "You drew the letter B!"
"Huh?" Kermit looked at it from the other side and saw that he had unintentionally drawn a capital 'B'. "Hey, I did! Well, then that's easy to remember. The two ways to Hensonville from Sesame Street make a 'B'!"
"Must be the letter of the day." said Alan.
"An' speakin' of 'B' woids," said Rizzo "how 'bout some breakfast?"
"Hold it, wait a minute," Kermit interrupted. "there's something else everyone needs to know."
"What now?" whined Rizzo. "I'm hungry!"
Kermit went to the back door. "Okay, come on in." he said to someone out of view. Gingerly, Max walked in, his hands in his pockets.
Everyone except for Kermit, Big Bird and Alan, became alarmed. Max suddenly felt as he did when he posed as a motorcycle cop to warn the others about Doc Hopper.
"Look out!" yelled Gonzo.
"It's him!" yelped Fozzie.
"Get outta here!" snarled Clifford.
Some Muppets braced themselves as though to fight. Piggy cracked her knuckles. Sweetums grimaced menacingly from the window. Fozzie hid behind Piggy. Gonzo stepped in front of Camilla to protect her. Link dove under the nearest table, sucked his thumb and shivered. Other Muppets grabbed something to throw at Max. Some had glasses, Scooter held the napkin holder like a baseball before a pitch and there were several hoisted penguins in hand.
"Wait! Stop!" yelled Kermit. "He won't hurt us! I've already talked to him! That's what I was going to tell you about!"
"How do we know we can trust him?" asked Dr. Teeth, his long arm holding something aloft, ready to throw it like a football.
"Just listen!" Kermit stood in front of Max and held his arms wide, trying to protect him. "Max is going to help us! He's decided to stop working for Frass and help us save Mr. Rogers' stuff in the warehouse!"
A few hands lowered, but the skepticism didn't.
"Just trust him, hokay? Kermin knows what he's doing!" pleaded Pepe, who was gripped in Dr. Teeth's hand.
"Remember everyone, Max warned us about Doc Hopper and Snake Walker." reminded Kermit. "He's here to warn us again of what's going on."
"Frass is on his way here," Max explained. "he took the car, I took the bus. Look," he kept his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I want to help you all. I promise. I promised Kermit I would. I...I like Mister Rogers, too. I want kids to be able to watch him and let the Smithsonian exhibit his stuff. Kermit said he'd help me get a new job if I helped," he paused to frown. "and I'm sick and tired of that job."
"You should go to to the doctor and rest in bed, then." said Big Bird sympathetically.
Several Muppets turned to him.
"Well...yeah," Big Bird continued. "he said he was sick and tired. So when you're sick, you go to the doctor and when you're tired, you go to bed."
"Hey, that's a good one! Wocka wocka!"
Max sighed. "Anyway, I promise to help Kermit...and all of you. I promise I'll do what I can to make sure we find who you're looking for."
"Cross your heart?" asked Big Bird.
"Cross my heart."
"Frog Scouts honor?" asked Robin.
"That too."
"You swear?" asked Janice.
"He better not!" gasped Big Bird. "That's naughty! He'll get a time out!"
"Look, I promise, all right? Besides, I'm not going to try anything if she's around. Not after how she took care of Doc's goons."
"Smart move, bub." Piggy muttered under her breath.
Skepticism turned to half-hearted shrugs. Some of the Muppets were still a little wary of Max, but decided, at least, that he wouldn't try anything.
"All right, everyone," Kermit announced. "We know that Max is on our side now."
"Yeah," agreed Big Bird. "he's on the same side of the counter you are. Alan is on the other side."
"Uh..right," Kermit nodded to Big Bird. "in order to have our chance in stopping Frass, Max has to pretend he's still going to help him. That means he's gotta meet up with Frass right until the morning of the 24th."
"So what's the plan?" asked Dr. Teeth.
"I got some ideas," said Max. "we probably don't have much time now because Mr. Frass is getting nearer, I'm sure."
"Nearer than you think." said a voice from the back doorway.
For one horrific second, Kermit thought Frass had found them at Hooper's. Instead, there stood Rowlf. He was a little shaken from his ordeal, but otherwise fine.
"We'll have to cut the breakfast short--" Rowlf started. Rizzo's groan was the biggest of all. "--because even though it won't be for a few hours, Frass'll find us here. He's...he's just a couple blocks away."
The crowd nearly erupted in panic. Rowlf put his paws up and shouted. "BUT--BUT I've taken care of him for now."
"Taken care of him? How?" asked Kermit.
Rowlf explained, as quickly as he could, what had happened at the old vault and his run-in with Frass. Some of the Muppets scratched their heads when Rowlf explained how he got away.
"A film about milk?" Rizzo asked skeptically. "Dat's nuts! how can a film about milk knock a guy out?"
"Believe me, it can," Kermit assured him. "I don't know how it made it on the Old School DVDs. It should be some kind of behind the counter sedative."
"Anyway," Rowlf continued. "Frass is out cold and won't know what hit him at first. But that doesn't give us much time to get out of here."
"Do we still have time for breakfast?" Rizzo complained.
"Maybe a short one," Kermit agreed. Under other circumstances, he wouldn't have said yes, but with Frass out cold like that, they had some time.
"So, what'll it be?" asked Alan.
"Oh that's easy. I'll have a bee-" Rowlf stopped himself in the nick of time. He remembered where he was and glanced a little sheepishly at Big Bird. "I mean, I'll have a root beer."
Whew! That was close. he thought.
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A little while later, Kermit and the others used the back door of Hooper's. They quickly packed up their overnight things, said goodbye and met at the bus. Kermit returned to see only Max and Alan inside.
"Listen, here's a tip for putting up with us," Kermit put some money on the counter for Alan. "-and Max..."
Max looked up.
"Good luck. Remember. You can stand up to your boss. It won't be long until we'll meet again. You have the address of the Boarding House in case you need us, right?"
Max nodded and patted his pocket.
"Good. Now I wish we had some kind of diversion until we're..."
The bell rang again as someone else entered Hooper's Store for breakfast. When Kermit saw who it was, he quickly came up with a plan. Immediately, he put more money on the counter.
"Whatever he gets, it's on me. Whatever's left, keep it as a tip." Kermit carefully re-traced the "B" he had made in mid-air to make it thicker and hurried out the door. Max and Alan glanced at each other and wondered why Kermit took the time to retrace a 'B' in midair and pay for a virtual stranger's breakfast.
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Cows...
Cows...
HONK!
"Huh?"
The first thing Frass was fully aware of was his left elbow. It was hanging off the curb. In his dream, a horn honked on the dairy farm Frass was visiting. Max milked a cow. Milk streamed into a rusty bucket. Suddenly, the curb appeared again.
HONK HONK!
A horn?
Frass blinked. Visions of the dairy farm still ran through his head as his watery eyes tried to focus on the gritty street. A part of him wanted to go back to that farm...those cows, he saw them now...
He didn't see them now.
Where am I? he thought.
As if in answer, a taxi cab drove by and drove purposely through a puddle. Filthy, muddy water sloshed all over him. Frass sprang (as well as he could) to his feet and stood unevenly.
Now he was wet, cold, numb, but still only half awake. He shook his head as he stood on the curb. Even though he was furious about his suit getting soaked, he had an overwhelming urge to drink a glass of milk.
Why did he want a glass of milk? Frass tried to remember what happened. It was like a hangover without the headache. Something about a dog...or a frog...a dog? His head was swimming as he struggled to focus his eyes. Where was Max with that milk?
"Paper!" yelled a kid on a bicycle. As he zoomed by, the kid threw the paper towards a mailbox. Instead, it hit Frass in the head.
"OW!" roared Frass. "You rotten little kid! I oughta..." then he saw the newspaper's headline. Frass snapped completely awake. Almost immediately, he broke into a full waddle. Milk was the last thing on his mind.
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"So uh...what'll it be?" asked Alan.
The monster at the counter saw Rowlf's large glass, half-full of lukewarm root beer.
"Have this?" he asked.
"That's...someone left it behind. Are you sure?" asked Alan.
"Oh yeah, yeah!" said the monster. "Have this please?"
"Well...okay...if you want it." Alan watched as the monster glugged down the root beer in three huge gulps.
"Ahhh! More please?" it asked.
Alan looked under the counter and brought up a 2 liter bottle of root beer. "Well OK, but this hasn't been refrigerated yet. I'll get some ice."
"No ice! No no no! No ice! Like it warm!" the monster answered. "Have it, please?"
"Warm? Well, all right..." Alan unscrewed the cap and got a fresh glass from the shelf.
"No glass! Want whole bottle!"
Alan's eyebrows wrinkled. "You want the whole thing?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" the monster agreed, slapping his furry paws on the counter.
Alan saw that Kermit had paid more than enough to cover that, so he handed the monster the bottle.
"Thank you!" the monster said gratefully. Immediately, he put the bottle to his lips. Max and Alan watched, fascinated, as the monster drained the bottle in less than 10 seconds.
"Mmm! Good! Good! Have more, please?"
"Another bottle?"
"Yeah! yeah! More please?"
Alan brought up a second bottle and the monster drained it just as quickly. As the monster ordered a third round, a vehicle pulled up. It was once a shiny, new, flawless luxury car, but was now a luxury car that had been through some fender-benders. There were dings and scratches in the grill and bumpers, the paint was chipped on the sides where the car had scraped against numerous things and one of the headlight covers was cracked. Its main distinguishing feature, a neon pink tire, rolled up next to the fire hydrant and stopped.
The driver's door opened and Frass squirmed and squeezed his way out. He looked like a cow trying to relieve an itch between two fence posts.
Max saw his boss and stood up. Any second now, he would he trying to waddle through that door.
"Max!" yelled Frass. "Where are ya?"
"Right here, sir!" Max exited Hooper's Store and faced his boss.
"Well? Did you see him?"
Max hesitated. "He..."
"He's HERE! I knew it!" Frass shoved Max aside and clumsily barged his way into Hooper's Store. There he saw an unfamiliar man behind the counter cleaning a glass and a dark blue, shaggy thing with bulging eyes, a flat head, a mouth like a drawbridge and a monobrow. A letter 'B' hung suspended next to him in midair.
Frass ignored the 'B' and slammed a meaty fist down on the counter.
"Did you see a frog and a bunch of goofy lookin' characters run through here?"
Alan leaned back to avoid smelling the horrible breath.
"We get a lot of customers through here. All kinds, all shapes, all sizes. If he did, he must've been in some huge crowd or something. Besides, I don't see a frog, do you?"
Frass's ugly head turned as he scanned the place. There was no one but himself, the owner, Max and the monster in front of him.
Monster...
"You!" Frass yelled. "You must've seen where they went! You're probably one of THEM, aren't you? Huh?" Frass grabbed the monster by the shoulders so his flat beak-like face was an inch away from Frass.
Alan waved at Max then pointed out the door. Max got the message and hurried out to the safety of the Maybach. Alan stepped back as far as he could and waited.
"ANSWER ME!" roared Frass as he shook the monster's shoulders. "You're one of them! You're...you're...what are you doing?"
A change had come over the monster's face. Frass watched as the monster's pitch black fur around its eyes bristled as though from static electricity. The fur framed two, huge, furious eyes. Its lumpy, light blue mouth was closed, but its cheeks and body were now puffing up like a furry balloon. Its long, hairy arms spread out as the monster stood and inflated even more.
Frass let go and backed up two steps. The monster was level with the hovering 'B'. The look on its face indicated this beast was holding something in that was about to burst. Alan ducked behind the counter at the last second.
The monster let out a powerful, roaring belch that shook everything in Hooper's Store. Magazines ruffled on the racks. Salt and pepper shakers slid across the counter. Merchandise on the shelves jiggled and wobbled. The windows vibrated and fogged up like a rapid winter frost.
The noise and force of the belch was enough to send Frass staggering backwards. Rather than argue with the owner or ask any more questions, he simply winced as he backed out of Hooper's Store and into the Maybach.
"MAX!" Frass stumbled backwards, the belch ringing in his ears. "Max, I wanna go back to Hensonville. The frog ain't here! We'll catch him on the road. Go go GO!"
Within a minute, the scruffy-looking Maybach roared to life and headed west.
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It was a long ride home. Everyone had asked everyone they saw, just as Kermit asked them to do. Surely, someone on Sesame Street did the drawing. It was in a child's style. Robin was the only youth in the Muppet Boarding House and the picture was not his.
Just as he had on the way to Hollywood, Kermit sat at the back of the Happiness Hotel bus and looked out of the window. His heart gave a little jolt when he saw someone on a motorcycle approaching. Luckily, it was an anonymous biker that simply passed the bus and zipped away. He wasn't looking for a motorcycle. Instead, he watched the traffic for anything that looked like a dinged-up black coffin on wheels. Cars, semis, a bakery truck, another truck...
There was a hand on his shoulder: one in a glove.
"Kermie?"
She didn't advance to kiss him, she didn't ask him to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. She didn't even try to flirt. She knew that this trip, or more specifically a quest, meant a great deal to him and he was worried.
What could she do? Aside from just being there for him, there was nothing to do for now.
Kermit felt the gloved hand gently rub his left shoulder. He managed a small smile to his slightly fogged-up reflection in the bus window. He liked it when Piggy was like this: understanding and sensitive.
The bus headed back to Hensonville, mingling with the late morning traffic.
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