More fun with the letter 'S'...
Chapter 12
"See anything, lil' buddy?" asked Sweetums.
Sweetums carried Robin around the block. As he did, he held Robin up to each window to see if anyone was awake. So far, each window was dark.
"It's still kinda early. Let's try the stoop again, Sweetums."
As they rounded the corner, they realized that they were the only ones there. Everyone else had left, even Scooter. One window on the first floor had just flickered on. The light from the apartment below came on almost a second later.
"Ernie's up!" Robin thought. "...or maybe Bert."
"I got an idea," said Sweetums. "why don't you check what's going on down there, an' I'll check this window."
Sweetums carefully lowered Robin on the windowsill so he could look inside.
Robin smiled. It was just as he expected the place to be. The curtains were slightly parted, revealing an apartment shared by two obviously different people. One dark green armchair sat next to the television. It was bought sometime during the 1970s, but still looked brand new. There wasn't a brass tack out of place and there was not a stain to be seen.
Someone had been sitting there, though. There was a slight indentation in the seat and a book had been left on the arm. Robin squinted to read the title: "Pigeons of Asbury Park". A bookmark peeked out of its pages. Its ribbon was dull gray with a bottle cap tied to the end.
Behind the chair was a bookcase. Each book inside was neatly placed as if by a librarian. Robin squinted to read the other titles: "Cooking With Oatmeal", "Influence on Oatmeal Production and Distribution by the Quakers", "Coo Coo! Your Pigeon and You", "Notable Pigeons in History", "Paper Clip Sculptures from Around the World", "Johan Vaaler; the Legend", "101 Regular Lentil Soup Recipes", "A Tale of Two Breakfasts", "History of the Crown Cork (Forward by William Painter)" and a few copies of "Journal of the Test Card Circle".
Some vinyl records sat next to a record player. John Phillip Sousa and Lawrence Welk dominated the collection. Two carefully preserved autographed pictures hung on the wall. Robin recognized the Frank Oz one right away. The other one confused him. It was an image of a young girl playing Tic-Tac Toe with a stuffed clown doll. The image was in a circle, surrounded by gray and white lines. A colorful, rectagular border surrounded it. Near the bottom of the image someone had written: "To Bert: My very best to you always, Carole Hersee."
A pair of saddle shoes (laces tucked in), were neatly placed by the chair. The beige, oval rug underneath them was spotless.
Robin looked at the other side of the room. It was a dump. It looked like Crazy Harry had set off a bomb in the toy chest. Crayons, some just stubs, littered the floor amongst open coloring books. A yellow one poked out of a single, worn, red sneaker in the middle of the floor full of toys. Bits of cookies and pulverized cookie crumbs were sprinkled everywhere. A bunch of letter "R"s spilled from a tipped-over cardboard box. Bulky headphones draped carelessly over a worn, yellow easy chair with an overturned toy fire truck and a basketball in its seat. A half eaten piece of pepperoni pizza slumped over the armrest.
Robin smiled. This was the way it was supposed to be.
The window was open a crack. He could smell something coming from the lit kitchen. Of course! It was oatmeal. No cinnamon, apples or sugar added. Just plain oatmeal.
The plain oatmeal smell was quickly overpowered by the smell coming from the upstairs apartment. The window was open and the curtains were parted about an inch. A large yellow eye could see a neatly kept kitchen. Two lights were on. One was the ceiling light. The other light came from the refrigerator, where most of a dark-complexioned woman was hidden by the door.
On the stove, a few eggs sizzled sunny-side-up. The woman fished out a package of frozen bacon and shut the freezer. Her pink bathrobe swayed slightly as she shuffled around the kitchen in pink, fluffy slippers. Her hands opened the bacon box and broke off a few pieces. In no time, the frost around the pieces were gone and the bacon was sizzling along with the eggs. Then she put three more items on the kitchen table for breakfast: a loaf of bread, a container of milk and a stick of butter.
Not three feet away from the window was a coffee pot. Fresh coffee brewed with 'plup-plup-ploop' sounds. Next to it was a can of fragrant, freshly ground Wilkins Coffee.
Sweetums smiled. What a great place! he thought. I'll start by saying hello to this nice lady!
The woman ran her fingers idly through her tousled, dark hair and yawned. She squinted sleepily at the coffee pot light and reached up to part the curtains. She pulled them open, then yawned again, only to pause halfway through. Her eyes popped wide open in surprise. A huge, hairy face with yellow eyes, a massive jaw and big teeth completely filled the window.
"MORNIN'!" Sweetums bellowed brightly.
Susan's eyes rolled up as she fainted with a thud.
Sweetums shrugged. "Guess she ain't a morning person. Hey! I know! I'll finish the breakfast and when she wakes up, it'll be all set! Yeah!"
Instead of using the door, Sweetums heaved himself up on the window well and squeezed clumsily through the kitchen window.
"You just take a nap, nice lady an' I'll cook yer breakfast! Umph!"
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After Sweetums' kicking legs disappeared through the kitchen window, a piano teacher and a brown dog made their way down the narrow stairs from the second apartment building and past Hooper's Store.
"So that's the whole story," explained Rowlf. "if we don't find out who sent the picture..."
"I see," Bob finished. "So, you think someone around here drew it?"
"Could be...but we aren't going to say anything to the youngsters around here about what'll happen if we don't find 'The Best Neighbor'."
"Well, I'll certainly keep my eyes open. After I check my email, I'm going to teach a few music lessons. I'll ask the kids I see if they remember anything."
"Thanks Bob," said Rowlf as he shook Bob's hand. "you're a good friend. I'm going to ask Maria and Luis about it, then I'll meet up with the gang later."
"Sounds like a good plan," smiled Bob. Rowlf turned in the opposite direction, headed for the Fix-It Shop.
"Hey Rowlf?"
"Yeah, Bob?"
Bob smiled again. "Good to see you on the street again."
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As Rowlf passed the laundromat and turned the corner, Bob headed for the arbor. He sat down at the old table beside the fire escape and set a laptop on top of it. It was a borrowed laptop from a friend. Bob was just getting used to using one (he was thinking of purchasing one himself). As Bob opened the laptop and traced his index finger around the touch pad, another visitor to the street was passing Hooper's Store. She approached him, her high heels tapping against the pavement.
"Bonjour jeune monsieur!"
Bob looked up from his laptop to see an eloquently dressed pig. As only Bob could do, he greeted her the same way he greeted anyone else who arrived here.
"Hi there! I'm Bob. Welcome to--"
"See-same Street, I know." finished Miss Piggy. She put her hands on her hips and glanced around the arbor. "Kermie told Moi all about it. You know..." she looked at the brickwork and the dark green paint on the fire escape. "this place could use a new color arrangement. Maybe some pink trim around these old buildings, some chiffon curtains in the windows...and this fire escape would look lovely draped in baby blue satin."
As Piggy said the word 'satin', the word appeared in front of her in large, hovering, bold, letters. Piggy stepped back in slight shock.
"Hubba wha?" she stammered.
A voice overhead said "'S' is for 'satin'."
Piggy looked up. "How'd that announcer guy get here?" she remarked.
Bob thoughtfully rubbed his chin. "I think I know who you are. You're a friend of Kermit's, aren't you?"
Piggy turned to him, her eyes slightly dreamy.
"Kermie is a very good friend of Moi."
"So what are you doing here today?"
"Yes, ahem. Well, Robier, Kermie, Moi, and..." she waved vaguely behind her. "those other guys...have come here to your street--"
The word 'street' appeared in front of Piggy, hovering and bold where the word 'satin' had been a moment ago.
"'S' is for 'street'." said the announcer.
"Go away," she irritably batted the letters away like flies. "what is this?"
"You said a word that begins with the Letter of the Day. It's 'S'." Bob explained.
"You mean if I say something that begins with 'S', a floaty word thing'll appear..." she flapped a hand vaguely in front of her where the word had been. "right there?"
"That's generally how it works around here." Bob shrugged.
"Weird." Piggy shook her head.
Bob glanced down at his laptop and noticed a massive amount of pop up pages. Each one announced that Miss Piggy was on Sesame Street. His eyebrows raised slightly.
"It looks like you're very popular around here already."
"Ah yes, Moi's adoring fans follow Moi everywhere! It is so difficult to get some privacy sometimes!"
Bob noticed his name in the pop-up screens, too. They were links to fansites. When Bob tried one, it led to a Forum. The thread title read "MISS PIGGY ON SS RIGHT NOW!"
A whole string of comments appeared below, all of which expressed great excitement.
"I just turned on SS and Bob is on! Yay! But what's better is that Miss Piggy is on there WITH HIM!"
"r u sure?"
"YES! She's on right now talking to Bob about something!"
"That's a joke. Someone delete this thread."
"No it ain't! I'm taping it right now and as I type, Piggy's got her snout against Bob's computer. They're out by Hooper's! She called him "Row-bear", whatever that means."
"Maybe she means 'Robier', like French for 'Robert'."
"Oh, I see. Thx."
"See? I TOLD you guys she was on SS! Now there's PROOF!"
"Piggy and SS...together at last!"
"Someone hurry up and email Danny at Tough Pigs about this! He loves Piggy!"
"He runs the Wiki, too! Someone send the Wiki a screenshot! Anyone taping this?"
"I'm taping it! I don't care if I'm late for work! Piggy on SS...WOW!"
One last post appeared below the others:
"After much debate between fans on this issue, Miss Piggy has finally visited Sesame Street. You can talk about her appearance here and let us know what you think."
Piggy read all the comments and whirled around, trying to echo the grace of Marilyn Monroe. She tossed her golden locks behind her head and puckered her lips to the camera.
"They love Moi, Robier!" Piggy walked through the arbor and past Susan and Gordon's window. She paused to let her public adore her. She walked as though she were on a fashion show runway. When she faced forward again, the stream of comments grew with even more force. Bob read some of them aloud.
"She's in front of Susan and Gordon's now."
"I can't believe she's on SS!"
"How did Disney allow this?"
"SWEETUMS! IT'S SWEETUMS!"
Bob looked up from his screen. "Sweetums?" he asked in confusion.
"Sweetums?" echoed Piggy.
The floating word 'Sweetums' appeared in front of her.
"'S' is for 'Sweetums'." said the unseen announcer.
Sweetums's face poked through one of the windows.
"Hi, Piggy!" Sweetums shouted happily. "These eggs'll be done in a jiffy!" He ducked back inside. Piggy wrinkled her snout and grimaced at the smell of burnt eggs and coffee grounds. She then noticed the floating letters in front of her spelling 'Sweetums'. She waved them away angrily and moved away from the window, out of earshot from the beeping smoke alarm. She collected her bravado and sashayed past the stoop.
"And now I'm going to sing a song for all my fans." She cleared her throat.
"When you come here, each day brings
A day where you just see the same old things
And nothing changes here, each day's a repeat!
That's why they call it"--(she gestured to the street sign)--"See-same Street!"
"Now Moi is here, and now I'm tellin' you
That 'See-same Street' here has something new!"
(Piggy spread out her arms and sang at the top of her voice)
"It has a star now, with talent so big!"
"Hey! It's Grover dressed up like a pig!" snarled a voice.
Piggy stopped and slowly turned around to face a mossy green thing peering at her from inside his trash can home.
"I beg your pardon?" she growled.
When he saw her face, Oscar was taken aback. "Woah! You really are a pig!" he grinned.
"Yeah I am, fuzzball. Ya wanna make something of it?"
"And a grouchy pig, too!" Oscar leaned forward as his smile widened. "This is great! Heh heh heh!"
"I also happen to be a star!" Piggy insisted. The word 'star' floated in front of her.
"'S' is for 'star'." said the unseen voice.
"Aw, knock it off." Piggy grumbled to the sky.
"Oh, so the letter of the day is 'S', huh?" asked Oscar. "Well, I got some things here in my trash can start with 'S'." He ducked down and descended a flight of circular, unseen stairs. A moment later, he popped back up again. Each object he brought out of his can made its name appear in front of them in floating letters.
"First of all, we got my pet worm, Slimey!" Slimey, wearing a tiny backpack, crawled down Oscar's hand, across the crate next to him and into a bus about the size of a loaf of bread. "He's going off to Worm School. Hey, 'school' is another 'S' word. Have a rotten day at school, Slimey! Now let's see, what else we got in here?"
Oscar pulled out a ratty cardboard box lid and handed it to Piggy. "Here Babe, make yourself useful!" Before Piggy knew what was happening, she was holding the lid for Oscar.
She froze as she stared at her gloved hands. There were stains on her gloves now! Her perfect gloves! What the stains were, or how they would come out, Piggy was too scared to ask. Her gloves!
Meanwhile, Oscar kept tossing things in the lid.
"Let's see, I got a stinky sneaker, a sauerkraut sundae, stiff socks, solidified Space Food Sticks from the seventies, a smashed six-string, and--"
"OINK!"
"Was that you?" Oscar asked Piggy. Then something nudged Oscar's elbow.
"Huh? Oh yeah! This is something else that starts with 'S'! My pet pig, Spot!" Oscar scratched Spot between the ears, making him grunt happily. "Hey, Spot? How about we sing that song? It's all about another thing right here on the street that starts with 'S'."
Spot gave a joyful squeal as unseen musicians played an off-key introduction. Spot oinked in the chorus as Oscar sang and pointed to Piggy when the 'S' word came up.
"There was an old farmer who had an old sow!"
"Sow!"
"Oink!"
"Sow!"
"Oink!"
"Hi-did-dle-dow!"
The lid of trash in Piggy's hands began to shake. Her gloved hands gripped the soft, water-damaged cardboard like talons until it turned to mush between her fingers. Her bright blue eyes widened with rage as the floating word 'sow' repeatedly appeared in front of her. Piggy let the lid go. It crashed to the sidewalk, sending the trash scattering to the curb.
In a blur of lavender, she swung her arm back, fist curled like a coiled snake.
"HIIIIIIIII-"
Spot gave a squeal of alarm and ducked down into the can. At the last second, Oscar saw what was coming and ducked down after him, slamming the lid.
"YYYAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Piggy's fist pounded the trash can. As she reeled back for another punch, she was surprised at what happened next. Besides the metallic bang her fist made against the (freshly dented) can, she heard an assortment of other noises coming from inside it.
The trash can wobbled as Piggy heard breaking glass, goats bleating, angry trumpeting from a half-dozen elephants, more pig squeals, bowling pins crashing and something like a grand piano being overturned. A gruff voice deep below cheered "That was terrific! All right!"
Piggy stepped forward, still enraged, but curious in spite of herself. She opened the lid a crack. A second or so later, a huge splash echoed from inside. Stagnant, moldy water burst from the trash can and soaked her from head to toe.
Piggy stepped back, now angrier than ever. She thought about hitting the can again, but finally decided against it. She tossed her sopping wet hair over her shoulder with as much dignity as she could muster and marched off with her snout in the air.
A moment later, Oscar popped up.
"Hey, where'd that grouchy pig go?" he complained. "She made my piano fall into my swimming pool with the good china!" He saw her walking away and yelled after her. "Hey, come back here and do that again! I love what you did with this dent!" Oscar chuckled to himself and lightly put a grubby finger to his jaw.
"Man," he said to himself. "a grouchy pig that loses her temper and knows how to redecorate!" he sighed in admiration and smiled his lopsided smile. "It's about time they had someone decent droppin' by this yucchy place! Heh heh heh!"
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