T*K*O - "The Moppet Family"

[D'Snowth]

T*K*O
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, D’Snowth, TogetherAgain, and Vibs)​

Episode #: 26
Title: “The Moppet Family”
Original Airdate: 04-Feb-2006
Written By: D’Snowth, Beauregard
Created By: MrsPepper
Guest star: Beauregard
Based on the “The Moppet Family” Created By: Beauregard.
Special Muppet Guest Appearances by: A Cast of Several!
Special Celebrity Guest Appearance by: Father Moppet

The thread killers were in the conference room, as MrsPepper was giving a special quarterly conference.

MRSPEPPER: …And further more, your pay will be calculated in a new fashion after this quarter, so be expecting slightly different checks next quarter. Now then, we turn the floor over to chief thread killer, Vic Romano!

MrsPepper sat down, as Vic Romano got up from his chair, and walked to the podium

VIC ROMANO: Thank you MrsPepper. Fellow thread killers; as MrsPepper announced, later this week marks the end of this quarter, I would like to announce that that same day, the thread killers will be putting on a special company play on the roof.

As the thread killers murmured happily and nodded each other, MrsPepper folded her arms.

MRSPEPPER: Go on…

VIC ROMANO: Rehearsals we will begin tomorrow afternoon with the president’s permission.

MRSPEPPER: (Shakes head) Okay.

VIC ROMANO: Thank you, now tonight and tomorrow morning, I’ll be working on the scripts for you all…

MRSPEPPER: (Interrupting) Excuse me Vic, but what’s on the program?

VIC ROMANO: Oh, I gave them the choice of: Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, or Macbeth.

MRSPEPPER: (Crosses legs) …and they chose…?

VIC ROMANO: The Moppet Family!

MRSPEPPER: What?!

THEPRAWNCRACKER: Yeah, you know that show about that weird adorable little family that lives in an adorable little house in the country on a…

MRSPEPPER: (Interrupting) Yes, yes, I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it.

BEAUREGARD: (Strolling by in the hallway) Oh that’s a cool show! I especially like that handsome guy that plays the father!

MRSPEPPER: Well Vic, I must say this does sound rather interesting, AND I’m sure that not only will this offer a twist on the plot, but I’m sure it’ll boost up our ratings as well!

VIC ROMANO: It should!

THEPRAWNCRACKER: Here, check out the guest list!

MRSPEPPER: (Reads over guest list) Cookie Monster, Ernie and Bert, Kermit the Frog, Sam the Eagle, Grover, George the Janitor, the Gills Brothers, Johnny and Sal, Beauregard…

BEAUREGARD: (Peeps through the door) Yes MrsPepper?

MRSPEPPER: (Back to the list) You even invited my husband, Floyd?!

THEPRAWNCRACKER: That was Snowthergeist’s idea!

D’SNOWTH: Squealer!

MRSPEPPER: Okay now Vic, I won’t stand in the way of this, go ahead and continue please!

VIC ROMANO: Thank you MrsPepper. Now then, I’ve compiled a list of the cast, and here’s who I think should play who…

VIBS: Play? When?

ALL: VIBS!

VIC ROMANO: Oh, and I would like to announce that I’ve managed to get Father from the real show to play himself as a celebrity cameo!

BEAUREGARD: (Pops head through door) Ooh, maybe I can get his autograph!

MRSPEPPER: Do you really think we can afford this with our budget?

VIC ROMANO: No, that’s why I told him this would be a “benefit” performance.

MRSPEPPER: That’s dishonest! (Stands up from chair) Guys, listen, the next time you all want to do company plays and special things like this, always let ME handle everything!

Commercial Break.

After days of practicing and rehearsing, the day of the play finally came. Up on the roof of the 3976th ½, D’Snowth had a section of bleachers set up for the audience. Everyone in the audience was Muppets from previous episodes of the show. Even Floyd Pepper had a special box seat (which is literally a box) since he’s the president’s husband. Before the play went on, some Muppets, and Beauregard were getting autographs from Father Moppet. After a few more minutes, the curtains open on a black stage. The lighting slowly rises to reveal two empty chairs set next to a round wooden table. Behind, is a set up of a messy counter and a line of smoke rises from a toaster. The stage is empty. There is a crash, and Father dashes on stage, half tripping, and slides onto one of the seats in one heck of a hurry. Naturally, he should been there for the curtain.

FATHER: Er (Coughs) Tea, toast, family, what a fabulous thing it is to be the father of the family surname Moppet, great wife, nice kids. (Frowns) What am I, Mr. Cole? Well, ahem, Vic! VIC!!! Where are you? Get down here! It’s 7:30!!! (Looks at watch) Actually…it’s 7:43am American Central time, but that’s beside the point…VIC!!!

Meanwhile, offstage:

D’SNOWTH: We may need a distraction…

TOGETHERAGAIN: The kittens aren’t born yet, right?

THEPRAWNCRACKER: Who is Jack? That should work for a distraction.

D’SNOWTH: Jack? Oh! Jack! Quick, hand me that white shirt!

Meanwhile, onstage:

FATHER: (Wiping sweat) Victor Moppet! Your mother specially burnt…CRISPED…this toast for you! Get out, down, here and eat it! Or I swear I will ground you to the second act!

JACK/D’SNOWTH: (Enters) Never fear, Jack Bandit is here! I’m the totally un-criminal brother of the nanny you called for.

FATHER: Nanny? Jack? I… Vic! I think we just skipped the first act! You are ungrounded! Get out here!

Meanwhile, offstage:

THEPRAWNCRACKER: Vibs, we need a baby.

VIBS: I beg your pardon? We only met a few episodes ago!

Meanwhile, on stage:

FATHER: So, um…Jack…what is your occupation? Do you like toast?

JACK/D’SNOWTH: I love toast. And I really love (Stops) VIBS!?

FATHER: You love Vibs?!?

VIBS/BABY VIBS: (In cute baby-suit and hair in three bunches) Hello Jack’k’yyy!

FATHER: Vibs! Ahh, there you are! Have you seen your (Hint) brother?

VIBS/BABY VIBS: I’ll go check!

FATHER: (Aside) Psst, on the show Vibs hates Father…

VIBS/BABY VIBS: Oh! I won’t go check! I’ll…take a rain check on checking!

JACK/D’SNOWTH: I’ll be right back!

Meanwhile, offstage.

MRSPEPPER: This is going well.

TOGETHERAGAIN: We need something big…

MRSPEPPER: Too much fur! We can’t make a suit that fast!

D’SNOWTH: (Running offstage, tripping on painted long white shirt) We need Dog!

VIC ROMANO: (In dog suit) Never fear Vic is here! (Steps onstage to thunderous applause) Aref arf!!! Woof arffy! This is harder than I thought…and hotter in this suit…oops! Arfbarkfff!!!

FATHER: (Gulp) Here, um, eat this toast.

VIC ROMANO/DOG: Af! Is that the only arfing gag around here?

VIBS/BABY VIBS: This is culture! I mean, I was so not born in this episode.

FATHER: Mr. Cole will be upset…

Meanwhile, offstage:

THEPRAWNCRACKER: Ahh! Mr. Cole! That’s my cue!

Meanwhile, onstage there was an explosion of smoke. As ThePrawnCracker appeared as Mr. Cole.

THEPRAWNCRACKER/MR. COLE: You know I am loathing interfering in the affairs of others..

FATHER: Affairs? MopFam is a children’s show! We don’t do things like that! This isn’t a cheap soap!

D’SNOWTH/MOTHER: (Hurrying onstage) Hello dear.

FATHER: This is wrong on so many levels.

D’SNOWTH/MOTHER: Do I smell burnt toast?

FATHER: Mother, Dan Dan will be arriving later, right?

D’SNOWTH/MOTHER: OhmygoshIforgotallaboutDanDan…Coming! I mean! To our house! I must change…clean!!! (Runs offstage)

MRSPEPPER: What now?

D’SNOWTH: They want Dan-Dan!

TOGETHERAGAIN: I’ll get the face paint…

MRSPEPPER: Let’s cut to a commercial…

Commercial Break.

Everyone gathered around offstage, including Father.

FATHER: Do I get paid double for this?

VIBS: He gets paid?

VIC ROMANO: What? You didn’t do this for the joy of appearing in our play?

FATHER: Let’s get this scene straight before we start. PrawnCracker, you be Captain Hevej. TogetherAgain, we’ll need a Miss Mingstone. We need Fairy-Godmother. MrsPepper?

MRSPEPPER: I am the producer.

FATHER: Perfect, you’ll do fine. D’Snowth, who are you again?

D’SNOWTH: Doesn’t the face-painted blue skin and the mono brow give it away?

FATHER: Mother isn’t in this scene.

Moments later, onstage:

FATHER: Avast ye sailors!

MRSPEPPER/FAIRY-GODMOTHER: Is this old English?

VIBS/MR. HARVEY: English, check. Old, no.

VIC ROMANO/DOG: Arffy joker olderf!

FATHER: And the joke was old, too.

D’SNOWTH/DAN-DAN: Did I mention that my pet mop’s favorite uncle ate a haystack last night?

THE END​

 

[TogetherAgain]

Holy mosquitoes, I laughed straight through the whole thing! AWESOME!

I especially like: well, um, all of it. But here's a VERY small sampling of some of the extra-awesome-parts:

THEPRAWNCRACKER: Vibs, we need a baby.

VIBS: I beg your pardon? We only met a few episodes ago!

FATHER: (Aside) Psst, on the show Vibs hates Father…

VIBS/BABY VIBS: Oh! I won’t go check! I’ll…take a rain check on checking!

FATHER: Perfect, you’ll do fine. D’Snowth, who are you again?

D’SNOWTH: Doesn’t the face-painted blue skin and the mono brow give it away?

FATHER: Mother isn’t in this scene.

 

[theprawncracker]

Ok, first I must say that this is absolute comedy GOLD!!! I am amazed!! This was hysterical! Here's some highlights...

JACK/D’SNOWTH: (Enters) Never fear, Jack Bandit is here! I’m the totally un-criminal brother of the nanny you called for.

FATHER: Nanny? Jack? I… Vic! I think we just skipped the first act! You are ungrounded! Get out here!

FATHER: So, um…Jack…what is your occupation? Do you like toast?

JACK/D’SNOWTH: I love toast. And I really love (Stops) VIBS!?

FATHER: You love Vibs?!?

VIBS/BABY VIBS: (In cute baby-suit and hair in three bunches) Hello Jack’k’yyy!

TOGETHERAGAIN: We need something big…

MRSPEPPER: Too much fur! We can’t make a suit that fast!

THEPRAWNCRACKER/MR. COLE: You know I am loathing interfering in the affairs of others..

FATHER: Affairs? MopFam is a children’s show! We don’t do things like that! This isn’t a cheap soap!

D’SNOWTH/MOTHER: (Hurrying onstage) Hello dear.

FATHER: This is wrong on so many levels.

And again, I say that this is the most awesome fabulous T*K*O ever!!! I loved it and cannot wait for next season!!

 

[anythingmuppet]

Wah-ho! Good season ender Sneeblerz! This is definately one of the best! 5 Thumbs up!

 

[D'Snowth]

...and don't forget, Beauregard will make the extended un-cut version of the play (with a cameo appearance by TA) available soon!

 

[MrsPepper]

Wow.

D'Snowth.

This was awesome. There are so many great lines in this one, it's not even funny. Well, it is, but it's so funny that it's actually not that funny at all. Or something.
Um, Toga and Prawnie already quoted some of my favourite lines, but there were just so many good ones...

FATHER: [....] We need Fairy-Godmother. MrsPepper?

MRSPEPPER: I am the producer.

FATHER: Perfect, you’ll do fine.

D’SNOWTH: We may need a distraction…

TOGETHERAGAIN: The kittens aren’t born yet, right?

Gah I could go on forever! >< D'Snowth, you get a gold star. And a bonus. And I'll buy you a ficus plant for your office.

 

[D'Snowth]

D'Snowth, you get a gold star. And a bonus. And I'll buy you a ficus plant for your office.

ANOTHER gold star?! I feel so...special! A bonus?! Me?! Aw shucks, oh, and just what I always wanted: a ficus!!!

Oh, and guys, don't forget to credit Beau, after all he actual wrote most of this episode (the play part), while I just wrote the first sequence.

Oh, and I made the announcement about season 3, so you might want to check that out, now if you'll excuse me, I have another ace up my sleeve on how to celebrate at the T*K*O wrap party!

 

[MrsPepper]

Yes, Beau! Of course. Major snaps to you! You get... ah, you get a raise.

now if you'll excuse me, I have another ace up my sleeve on how to celebrate at the T*K*O wrap party!

This ace you speak of... it doesn't involve punch, does it?

 

[TogetherAgain]

Don't worry, boss- if it does, I've been practicing a punch of my own... of the "line" kind.

 

[D'Snowth]

This ace you speak of... it doesn't involve punch, does it?

Actually no, and uh...why are you all looking at me like that?!