Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends BookT*K*O
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, That Announcer, and D'Snowth)
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, That Announcer, and D'Snowth)
Episode #: 13
Title: “Hasta La Vista, KermieBaby!”
Original Airdate: 16-Sep-2005
Written by: MrsPepper, D’Snowth
Created by: MrsPepper
Guest Stars: KermieBaby47, Vibs, and Beauregard as The Custodian
Ah the 3976th ½ T*K*O, just the place to be for a great story, and this is a great story. Anyway, I’ll get with it. All the thread killers were busy with their thread killings. Quite a tiring job.
VIC ROMANO: If my increase in threads continues like this, I’d like an increase in pay!
THAT ANNOUNCER: Look who’s complaining, you get paid more than we do!
KERMIEBABY47: Yeah I get paid the least, and I just got promoted!
VIBS: Well so did I!
VIC ROMANO: Okay people; forgive me for bringing this up. Let’s get back to work!
And so the thread killers continued their work when D’Snowth entered the hallway.
VIBS: Congratulations Mrs. (my last name has been removed), it’s a squirrel! (Beat)
ALL: VIBS!
D’SNOWTH: Anyway, I stopped by to see KermieBaby…
KERMIEBABY47: What did I do this time?
D’SNOWTH: Nothing, you’re being discharged.
KERMIEBABY47: That mean I’m being fired?
D’SNOWTH: Of course not, you’ve gotten all of your points, so you don’t need to kill threads anymore, so you’re being discharged.
KERMIEBABY47: That means I’m being fired!
D’SNOWTH: No, basically it means…you’re being fired.
KERMIEBABY47: Well I’m talking to MrsPepper about this!
With that, KermieBaby stormed out of his office, and straight into the office of MrsPepper, who was busy watching online clips of “Air Farce”.
KERMIEBABY47: MrsPepper, I need to talk to you!
MRSPEPPER: Ah, KermieBaby47, I’m sure you’re excited about the news D’Snowth gave you…
KERMIEBABY47: (Interrupting) Oh yeah, I’ve waited all my life to get a pink slip!
MRSPEPPER: Oh no KermieBaby, you’re not being fired at all, D’Snowth, hand me his files…
D’SNOWTH: (Pulls out file from stack) Here ya go!
MRSPEPPER: Ah yes (Opens file) You see KermieBaby, a thread killer must work to earn 20 points for good, clean killings, 20 points for good conduct, 20 points for punctuality, 20 points for untartiness, and 20 points for any outside activities. Together, they all add up to 100 even points. 100 points gets you an honorable discharge, and you’ve gotten 115 points…
D’SNOWTH: (Mumbling under his breath) He must’ve paid for someone to up HIS points.
MRSPEPPER: So KermieBaby, you’re being discharge with all of your points, your work here is done, you can go back to a regular life at the forum.
Upon hearing all of this, KermieBaby47 was overwhelmed.
KERMIEBABY47: I…I don’t know what to say…or think.
MRSPEPPER: It’s been a pleasure working with you Kerm!
Commercial Break
Later that afternoon, KermieBaby47 was cleaning out his office, with the help of Vibs.
KERMIEBABY47: Ha, this door has closed, but another one has opened! No more sitting around all day killing threads, no more unflushed toilets, no more waiting in line for week-old food, and best of all, no more iced tea and milk everyday!
VIBS: I’m so happy for you, pal!
KERMIEBABY47: (Opens drawer) Ooh, D’Snowth’s comic books, I better return those before I forget! (Clears out drawer, and opens another) Oh look, here’s us at the company sleep-over several episodes ago.
VIBS: Yeah, I remember D’Snowth was so embarrassed when we all found out about him and his Rocky.
KERMIEBABY47: Yeah, D’Snowth’s a great guy, I’m gonna miss his daily PA announcements. (Closes another box) You wanna help me carry these out to my car?
VIBS: Sure. (Picks up box) Y’know something KermieBaby, I’m really going to miss you.
KERMIEBABY47: Well, I’m going to miss you too.
VIBS: I just wanted you to know how much you’ve meant to me…you’re the best friend I’ve ever had here. You gave me such a warm welcome when I first joined, you always sat with me at lunch, and you were there when we got kidnapped by that hacker…
KERMIEBABY47: Vibs, (Loads car) We’ve had some fun times together. (Reaches into pocket) Here.
KermieBaby handed her a slip of paper with his e-mail written on it.
KERMIEBABY47: Now we can stay in contact for all times.
With that Vibs hugged him, and the two walked back into the building with their arms around each other. Later that night, everyone was in the cafeteria, throwing KermieBaby a farewell party.
VIC ROMANO: Boy this is some great party.
THAT ANNOUNCER: Yeah, but man, you need to try this cake, it’s delicious!
VIC ROMANO: Boy it does look good…oh wait here comes Beau!
Vic Romano and That Announcer quickly acted natural as Beauregard walked over to cut the cake.
BEAUREGARD: Alrighty, now I’ll just…hey wait a minute, who cut the cake?!
VIC ROMANO: (Playing dumb) What?! Look at that!
THAT ANNOUNCER: (Also playing along) Oh my goodness, HEY, WHO CUT THIS CAKE?! (Walks off) Did you cut Gardy’s cake!
Meanwhile, over at the punch table…
MRSPEPPER: Boy, this is some party eh?
D’SNOWTH: (Drunk) Well, I’m not gonna worry about a few…a floo…can-de-loose!
MRSPEPPER: (Sadly thinking to herself) How can this kid get drunk on artificial flavors, and red dye #4?
As the night went on, MrsPepper shoved KermieBaby on top of a table, while everyone else shouted for a speech.
ALL: SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!
D’SNOWTH: (Still drunk) PEE! PEE! PEE! Oh….momma, I gotta pee!
With that, D’Snowth ran off into the men’s room, while KermieBaby started his speech.
KERMIEBABY47: Well…what can I say about a bunch of characters like you guys? You guys are all spunky, and full-of-life. You guys have made my days worth looking forward to whenever I come into work everyday. All of you had made a special impact in my life. MrsPepper, it’s been a pleasure working under your firm, yet wonderful commands. Vic Romano, you’ve been an awesome chief, and your guidance has made me an even better thread killer. That Announcer, I’m really gonna miss your fascination for iced tea. (Chuckles) Vibs, right back atcha; you too have been one of the best friends I’ve ever had. D’Snowth, well, who has a bad thing to say about the little nerd?
D’SNOWTH: (Stumbles back into the cafeteria, still drunk.) That little nerd I left, boy it stank!
KERMIEBABY47: And of course, who could forget Beauregard, that underappreciated, hardworking janitor…
BEAUREGARD: “Custodian” please, and thank you for being the only one to acknowledge that fact.
KERMIEBABY47: (Chuckles) Well, what more can I say about a great bunch of people like you? I’ll miss you all, and I’m glad I got to be a part of this….organization.
KermieBaby then got a long standing ovation. He was really touched, and never realized how much he meant to them. As he got down from the table, MrsPepper then stood up on it, raising a punch glass.
MRSPEPPER: And now, a toast…
D’SNOWTH: (Drunk) Yeah! Here’s to crime! (Gulps punch)
MRSPEPPER: (Disgusted) Anyway, as I was getting ready to say, here’s to KermieBaby47, may his work here at the 3976th ½, never be forgotten. Cheers!
ALL: Cheers!
D’SNOWTH: (Drunk, now holding Rocky) Deer’s! (Looks down)…HEY! MY SQUIRREL WENT OFF!
Commercial break.
Early the next morning, KermieBaby’s office was completely empty, except for the furniture, and the computer. He walked down the hallway, and into the lounge, where everyone was waiting to say goodbye.
KERMIEBABY47: (Puts down suitcase) Well, it’s hard for me to say this, but I’ll miss you all, I’ll be thinking about you guys, and I hope you take good care of yourselves. I guess all that’s left to say is goodbye.
Vic walked over to shake his hand.
VIC ROMANO: Kermie, you’ve made me proud. It’ll be hard to replace you.
KERMIEBABY47: Thanks man. (Picks up suitcase) Thread killers…
ALL: …KermieBaby…
KERMIEBABY47: Ado.
With that, KermieBaby walked out of the building, and down the parking lot. Vibs started crying, while MrsPepper comforted her.
MRSPEPPER: There there Vibs, this is a sad day for all of us, but just think of how happy he is now that he doesn’t have to kill threads anymore.
VIBS: (Sniffles) Yeah… (Wipes nose) I’m really gonna miss him though. (Weeps)
MRSPEPPER: Yeah, we ALL will, won’t we?
The others sadly nodded their heads, as they heard KermieBaby slam his car door.
MRSPEPPER: Well, there he goes, let’s all wave goodbye.
KermieBaby pulled out of the parking lot, and started down the street, when he saw the thread killers in the glass door, all waving at him. He waved back, as he tried to keep his tears back. With that, the thread killers sadly walked away and back into their offices, while D’Snowth kept waving. KermieBaby then suddenly remember something, and quickly put on the emergency brakes, and ran across the road to the door. It was locked, but is still called out to D’Snowth…
KERMIEBABY47: Hey man, I forgot to tell you, I left you comic books in your drawer, next to your book full of Elizabeth Montgomery pictures.
D’SNOWTH: (Snaps) You know I have a book full of Elizabeth Montgomery pictures?
KERMIEBABY47: Yeah, next to your book full of Kathy Greenwood pictures. Boy, am I gonna miss seeing your face as you look at their pictures.
KermieBaby chuckled, while D’Snowth raised an eyebrow.
KERMIEBABY47: Take care, kid!
D’SNOWTH: You too.
With said and done, KermieBaby ran back across the road, got back into his car, and drove off. D’Snowth noticed he had a banner roped to his trunk that said “I’ll see you all later, I promise”. D’Snowth wiped a tear from his face, and walked back into his office to make a PA announcement.
D’SNOWTH: (Over intercom, breaking up) Attention, all personnel…(Sighs) I’m sure that we’ll all miss KermieBaby47, (Starts crying) so let’s all start a special thread in his honor at Muppet Central today…(Weeps) That is all.
So the thread killers, red-eyed, and wet with tears did just that, as they all posted in MrsPepper’s new thread entitled: “A Tribute to Kermie”.
VIC ROMANO: (Sniffling) This is the saddest day of my life.
THE END
I only check the New Posts and don't get home until around 4 pm Pacific, so I've just now seen it!!! Friggin hilarious, felt very honored to be part of the story.