Spider-Man/Muppets Fanfic: The Spectacular

[The Count]

Good job then lad. There's also the one with Dr. Animo and Ben's newest alien hero... Ditto, which allows him to split off into four alien beings, and they need to all be together when the watch runs down for him/them to turn back into Ben. When watching that episode,the one thing I kept thinking was, why does his new hero sound like Yako Warner?
As for the movie, there'll be sneak peaks all week long during the programs at the 7 PM time slot, so keep watch (pun not intended).
Looking forward to whatever story you post whenever you post it... Though I am curious to know what it is Michael Morbius looks like physically and wardrobe wise for what you have planned here in Spidey/Muppets 3.

 

[The Count]

Well... Since I have a vested interest in how this magnificent tale turns out... Just here to pay a dime to see, the Muppets or Spi-Deey... Or even Rachael taking over the Delaware.
*Hums a snatch from some Vaudevillian music while waiting for the next chapter, and possibly a PM reply too.

 

[muppetwriter]

Sorry it's been taking a long time to get another chapter in. I've been having to do some research for it, because characters (or should I say celebrities) from The Electric Company will be involved.

Not to mention I've been recruiting some friends outside the forum to be characters in future stories. I'll have more on that soon in the "What's Next...?" thread.

 

[The Count]

Well... If you need help from my wealthed vault of TV knowledge, I'm a PM away.
Also... Maybe you could help by providing a physical/visual and wardrobewise descript of Michael Morbius, feel free to send that via PM or Email as I'm rethinking something for a mutual friend of ours.
Hope to hear from you soon buddy.

 

[muppetwriter]

I'll try to have more by tomorrow (the day of my second anniversary on Muppet Central).

And, Count, I replied to your PM. Hope the info I gave will help.

 

[The Count]

Yes, thanks. Will have to play around with that a bit when I get back to inspecting that particular character.

 

[muppetwriter]

Chapter Nine​

Peter Parker was certain that he had never seen a more gorgeous day than the one facing him this crisp morning. Absolutely no clouds and the sky was a perfect blue. He had spent time with Harry, Jenny, the Thomas siblings, and the Muppets the day before, and everything seemed okay with him. Granted, he hadn’t been able to get in touch with Mary Jane. But when one considered everything that they had been through and had survived—both in their relationship and in their lives—certainly they’d be able to get through this. It was a single review from some loudmouthed critic. Probably Statler or Waldorf playing some lame trick, he thought. She’d get past it. With the perspective of distance, she’d realize that she was making too much of it. Everything was going to be all right, because this was his day…well, his and Kim and Ron’s.

He was down by City Hall with Sean, Lori, Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie, moving past the displays of banners and balloons that had been created to celebrate the greatness that was—let’s face it—him…oh, and the globe-trotting cheerleader and her boyfriend, too. Police lines had been set up for crowd control of the vast number of people assembling for the celebration. It was a heady experience. Peter was completely blown away by the positive energy and outpouring of support. “I can’t believe this is all happening.”

“Yeah,” Lori said with a smile. “And to think, you were considering skipping the whole event.”

Peter shook his head over that notion. “You know, back in the old days, I would be frustrated as the public and media trash-talked Spider-Man, and I’d feel so tempted to rip the mask off and shout, ‘Hey! Look! See? I’m just an ordinary guy under here, not the monster everyone’s making me out to be! So cut me a break, would you, please?’ Those were the times that I despised the need to keep my identity a secret.”

“Well, we’re far from that now.” Kermit stated, as he gazed upon what appeared to be a thousand people of varying ages and sizes attired in homemade Spider-Man outfits and smiled. “We’re probably the only people here who knows when Spider-Man will be coming.”

Meanwhile, Gonzo brought out his camera and started clicking away like he had always done when he was a photographer for The Daily Bugle. Even seeing him now with a camera in his hands reminded his friends of his old job. When Gonzo noticed how his friends were staring at him, he stopped clicking and asked, “Why’s everyone staring at me like I was born on Earth?”

“It’s just been a long time since we’ve seen a camera in your grasps, G.” Sean remarked. “Kinda reminds us of the old days, ya know.”

“Yeah, I figured you guys would say that.” Gonzo said. “But this is just for my scrapbook. Not like I’m trying to get J. Jonah Jameson to rehire me or anything.”

“Even if you were taking them for him, it’s not like he would care about all of this.” Lori uttered.

Peter, seeing what Gonzo was doing and hearing what Lori had just said, decided upon himself that making his own scrapbook of the day would be a marvelous idea. He immediately took out his own camera and clicked away. A visual record of the greatest day of his life was something he would always cherish.

A small boy in a Spider-Man costume, noticing that Peter was taking pictures, ran toward him with some sort of large plastic device on his wrist…a lever attached to a canister. The kid pushed the lever and small gout of what appeared to be Silly String spurted out from it. Peter and the others recognized it for what it was: a homemade web shooter. He tried to contemplate what it would be like building a functioning mechanical web-shooter if he didn’t possess organic spinnerets. Neither he nor his friends could begin to imagine how the boy would make such a thing.

“How cute.” Lori commented. “He’s definitely got Spidey’s deal down, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah.” Kermit agreed. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t go as far as going out late at night and fighting crime.”

The kid tried to fire more “webbing,” but the can made a fizzing noise. Obviously he was out of ammo. Peter glanced right and left, saw that no one other than his five friends was paying attention, extended his right arm, and fired a quick burst of his own webbing. It leaped out from his forearm and splattered on the kid’s shoe, creating a small patch of web on it. Sean, Lori, Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo couldn’t believe the way Peter had shown off like he just did. It brought out a small chuckle out of Lori, a grin on Sean’s face, and gasps from Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo.

The boy’s eyes went wide as he correctly figured out what had just happened, and he turned and shouted, “Mama! I just saw Spider-Man!” By the time his mother came to the kid’s side and looked where he was pointing, Peter and his friends had already joined a group of teenaged Spider-Man fans and easily mingled in. The boy’s mother would just assume her son was referring to a particularly effective costume.

“I can’t believe you just did that!” Gonzo told Peter.

Peter just simply smiled at the weirdo as he asked, “What’s the harm in it? It’s just a kid.”

“Sure, it’s just a kid, Pete.” Sean said. “But don’t get so overconfident that you end up accidentally…” Before Sean could finish his statement, a woman nearby who was selling her cats had unintentionally let one out of the bag and found herself chasing after it.

The group just dismissed the sight as nothing more than a coincidence to what Sean was about to say. Meanwhile, Peter wasn’t taking Sean’s warning too highly. “No one else is going to find out. Ever since I got bitten by that radioactive spider, I’ve been real careful about hiding my identity.”

“Oh, really?” Lori said, before pointing towards the proscenium located in the large plaza area directly in front of City Hall, where Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable had nervously sat with Scrooge McDuck and his nephews. “What about those two?”

Peter looked at Kim and Ron and waved off Lori’s allegations with a small chuckle. “That was just a fluke.”

“She saw you clearly take off your mask in an alleyway!” Sean exclaimed.

“But if she hadn’t, we would’ve never created our ‘Web of Heroes’ team.”

Sean just shook his head, as he suddenly remembered how he discovered Peter’s identity the night he battled Norman Osborn (a.k.a. “The Green Goblin”). “Alright. Then what about me?”

“You? You were just doing your job as a reporter and following the action?” Peter replied. “And my mask was ripped at the time, so that doesn’t even count.”

Then Kermit stepped in, as he recalled the incident that occurred not so long ago when he watched an unmasked Peter Parker save a train filled with innocent people, as well as the moment Gonzo discovered his identity during the “Mutant Crisis,” and a few nights ago when Fozzie saw him battle against Harry, sans his Spidey costume. “What about us? There were three incidents when we saw you without your mask and without your costume, saving the day.”

“You all are missing the point.” Peter stated. “Despite the fact that I didn’t have my costume on at the moment you all witnessed me saving the day, it wasn’t me doing all of them. It was Spider-Man.” Sean, Lori, Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo just gazed at Peter questionably over what he just said. “What I mean is that it shouldn’t matter whether or not I’m wearing my costume while I’m performing my duties for the city. All that should matter is that I’m doing what I can to make this city a safe place to live.”

Hearing him say that made Sean, Lori, Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo realize that they had no right putting him on the spot the way they did. They should trust Peter enough to let him do what he had to do in order to protect his name at the same time he protected the city.

“So does this mean you might one day give up the costume and just go out as Peter Parker, saving the day?” Sean curiously asked.

Peter just gave a simple reply. “H*ll no!”

Before the group could discuss further on the subject, a small group had approached them in the midst of the large crowd of people. It was their friends: Mary Jane Watson, Edward Morbius (who was carrying Stanley on his left shoulder), Jenny, and Rizzo. While Edward, Jenny, Stanley, and Rizzo seemed very cheerful at that time, Mary Jane seemed as if she had been going through a horrible week…and she had.

Mary Jane had spent her previous day and much of the night staring at the telephone, trying to decide whether to call Peter. Her phone rang a couple of times, but she shut off the volume on her answering machine so that she didn’t have to listen to the message being left. She didn’t want to talk to anyone unless it was on her own initiative. After a sleepless night, she had finally picked up the phone and dialed him, only to discover he wasn’t there. Then, turning on her television, she’d seen live news coverage of this Spider-Man love-in.

So she had come here, not knowing why, but feeling the need to be with Peter. To see him, to tell him…that she’d been fired…because of the suggestion of a flamboyant French choreographer, who had been working on the Muppets’ show? That Peter’s perceptions of her abilities had been colored by his love for her, and because of that she couldn’t count on him to give an unvarnished assessment of her talent? And…was that really such a bad thing?

Mary Jane looked up from the ground, which she had been staring at ever since she left her apartment, and—sure enough—there Peter was, focusing on her. The best she could manage was a halfhearted smile, as she approached him, the Thomas siblings, and the Muppets with Jenny, Stanley, Edward, and Rizzo.

“Hey, hope we didn’t miss Spidey.” Edward said.

“Not like you could see him anyways.” Sean murmured, which brought his sister to elbow him roughly in the ribs, keeping him in line.

Stanley was moving up and down Edward’s shoulder excitedly. “I can’t wait to see Spidey! Cousin Sean and Cousin Alissa told me bunches of stuff about him.”

“I hope they didn’t tell you everything, Stanley.” Peter said, as he looked towards Sean and Lori with a grin on his face. He then focused on Mary Jane, who was still showing off her best smile for the day. “Hey, beautiful, can I take your picture?” Peter raised the camera for a moment, but then lowered it, approaching her and stopping half a foot away, as if she had a force field around her. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine.” She replied with a low sigh. “I’m proud of you.”

Edward smiled over the thought of the love of Peter Parker’s life being proud of him, although he wasn’t aware of the real reason why. “Did Jameson decide to finally give you that staff job, Pete?”

Peter, Mary Jane, the Thomas siblings, and the Muppets exchanged cautious looks amongst each other, which Edward couldn’t notice and Jenny, Rizzo, and Stanley were slightly puzzled over. They knew that they had to be very careful of what they said in front of friends that weren’t aware of the secret that they had been keeping for years, even around a blind genius like Edward Morbius.

“Uh…actually, no. He didn’t, Ed.” Peter replied. “M.J. was just congratulating me on my work at The Bugle itself. That’s why I’m here now, taking pictures of my buddy, Spider-Man.” He smiled then, pointed the camera, and took a picture of Mary Jane.

While Edward nodded in understanding, Sean thought best to change the subject before someone accidentally spilled the beans. “So, where do you guys think Spidey will be swinging in from?”

“My guess is over there.” Peter pointed behind Mary Jane, who—in the meantime—was glancing down at the camera’s tiny display screen. The digital picture that he’d just taken was still on it—there she was, all right, but behind her was a banner reading, “Spidey the Mighty!” She wasn’t sure, but it looked as if her image was slightly blurry while the banner was perfectly clear, as if he had to decide which to focus on and had opted for the sign. Then the picture blinked out and went back to “view” mode.

“I hope he gives everyone a good show,” she said while grinning at Peter.

At that moment, a marching band opened with a tune that was highly familiar to Sean, as he turned his head and looked over the crowd to see the band passing through the crowd while leading a group of elderly people that he instantly recognized. “Wow! Speaking of good shows…it’s the cast of The Electric Company!” Sure enough, there were all of the stars of the show, from Bill Cosby to Rita Moreno to Morgan Freeman, all shaking hands and greeting the citizens that had gathered that day. “I can’t believe Scrooge McDuck was able to book them!”

“Da Electric Company?” Rizzo remarked. “Oh, gimme a break!”

“What’s wrong with The Electric Company, Riz?” Jenny asked. “I thought it was a great show.”

“Yeah, if ya like sittin’ through an hour of ‘mouth…wash…mouthwash!’ or gettin’ your eardrums blown off ta some lady shoutin’…”

“HEY, YOU GUUUUUUUUUYYYYYYYSSSSSS!”

Rizzo had instantly jumped in surprise over hearing that same screaming voice of Rita Moreno’s and found himself in the arms of Jenny. While he was laying in them and quivering, everyone in the crowd focused on the Electric Company cast, as they stood in the center and addressed everyone.

“Alright, Spidey cats! We have a pretty, mighty, hearty surprise for all of you this afternoon.” Morgan Freeman said. “First off, we owe a great deal of gratitude to the rice and always nice, Scrooge McDuck.”

“Uh, Morgan?” Rita said. “I think you meant to say ‘the rich and always nice, Scrooge McDuck’.”

Morgan seemed rather confused. “What did I say?”

“You said ‘rice’.” Judy Graubart stated.

“Well, that can’t be might, because everyone knows rice and nice rhyme together.” Morgan contradicted.

Bill Cosby rolled his eyes and said unenthusiastically—as if trying to remember lines off a script, “It’s not might…it’s right, man.”

“Well, might makes right, don’t it?” Morgan remarked.

Hattie Winston smiled and laughed. “And he’s supposed to be our Easy Reader.”

Everyone in the crowd laughed and applauded to the memorable stars of the famous program for elementary school children. Rizzo was an exception, as he just lowered and shook his head in disgust. “Dis has got ta be da lamest thing right next da Muppets’ Wizard of Oz.”

They all sensed the anticipation rising in the crowd, as Peter was already fiddling with the top button on his shirt. “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna try to find a better spot to take some photos.” He started to move away, while calling out to Mary Jane. “Hey! I made a reservation for dinner tomorrow! I left you a message.”

Hearing that, Mary Jane knew she had to confess everything. Heaven forbid Peter would go to meet her at the theater and find her name missing from the marquee and posters, as if it had never been there. But she couldn’t bring herself to tell him now, not when he was in such a fantastically upbeat mood. Sensing her conflict and unhappiness but not knowing why, Peter obviously concluded that she was still upset about her bad press—which she technically was, but not for the reasons he was assuming. “And don’t worry about that review,” he urged her as a parting shot. “We’ll laugh about it tomorrow.”

He moved off toward a building across the street. Hardly anyone other than Mary Jane, Sean, Lori, Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo noticed, since all eyes were focused on the Electric Company cast standing in the center of the crowd. Skip Hinnant stepped forward and addressed the large crowd, with a huge smile on his face. “Make way, everybody! The sooner we all get on that stage, the closer we get to our big surprise!”

As soon as Skip had made the demand, the crowd parted for the Electric Company crew to make their way to the stage, which Gwen Stacy took her place next to Kim, Ron, Scrooge, and the nephews. Sean noticed how they were heading in the direction of where he, Lori, and the others were at the moment and couldn’t help but to feel very excited. The first and only Electric Company cast member to walk near him was Morgan, who he didn’t hesitate to stop as soon as he did.

“Mr. Freeman! Mr. Freeman, sir!” He shouted, and Morgan immediately stopped, turning to Sean and smiling at him. Throughout his whole career, he had been pretty much used to people coming up to him and interrupting his activities. But he didn’t let it trouble him so much that it would become a nuisance to him. He didn’t once let the smile vanish from his elderly face as he shook Sean’s hand. “Sean Thomas…Daily Bugle.”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, son.” Morgan remarked. “But as you can see, I don’t really have time for an interview.”

Sean let go of his hand and said very quickly, “Oh! No, sir. I do not want to interview you…not like I wouldn’t jump at the opportunity. I just want to say that I’m a huge fan of yours.”

Morgan’s smile grew. “Well, thanks for sharing such a short, sharp-witted compliment. Should I share with you one of my most shockingly greatest films of all time?”

“Yes. What is it?”

“The Shawshank Redemption!”

Lori had been listening in on their conversation close nearby. She couldn’t help but to sarcastically comment on Morgan’s answer by saying, “No shi…”

“LORI!” Sean bellowed, shooting a dirty look at her, as Morgan shook his hand again and left them with a short goodbye before joining his fellow cast mates onstage.

Meanwhile, Mary Jane was feeling like a balloon with the air out of it. She tried to pay attention to the festivities, but found herself suddenly overwhelmed by everything she was seeing. Everyone was so happy, and she was so miserable. She had no place here, as if she might drag down the mood of the entire crowd with her sorrow, especially with the writer, director, and co-producer of the show that she had formerly starred in standing right in front of her.

Kermit’s attention was distracted away from the activity that was taking place on stage, as Morgan and the rest of his cast mates gave a short speech before unveiling their surprise. He looked at Mary Jane, who was clearly showing despair on her beautiful face, and the frog knew exactly why she was that way. The moment she arrived at the scene, he felt a little uncomfortable near her, after the meeting that she had with Ronnie Crawford that led to her removal from the show itself. Kermit wasn’t there at the time they had talked about it, but he still felt a little uneasy knowing that it happened only a day ago.

Moving away from where their friends were standing, Kermit walked up to Mary Jane and addressed her in a soothing tone. “Uh…Mary Jane? I’m sorry that we had to let you go. You were really marvelous to work with, you know. I don’t care who said what in their review.”

“You’re sweet, Kermit.” Mary Jane remarked with a hopeful smile. “I loved working with you guys, too. I’ve always been a fan of Manhattan Melodies, ever since I was ten years old.” Kermit had made a funny face in reaction to the thought of his show being that old, making him feel old in a way.

“Well, don’t give up on your dreams, M.J.” Kermit suggested, recalling a time when he was telling himself the same thing as he tried to get himself and his friends into Hollywood. “You are a really good actress.”

Mary Jane sighed. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I am, but then I’m not so sure.”

The crowd around them had started chanting, “Spider-Man! Spider-Man!” It made it almost impossible for them to continue the conversation. Kermit stepped closer to Mary Jane and practically shouted in her ear, “You know, I can always get Ronnie to bring you back. He’s a very understanding guy. Has always been ever since his dad passed away a few years ago.”

Before Mary Jane could even attempt to give him a straight answer, a young female voice boomed over the sound system—definitely not one of the Electric Company cast. After a brief squeal of feedback that was quickly adjusted for, the attractive blonde on the podium said, “I’m here today with all of these great people on stage because five of us fell sixty-two stories and three noble heroes caught us. Heroes who never ask for anything in return. And one of these heroes doesn’t even want us to know who he is.”

The girl—whom Mary Jane, Edward, Jenny, Stanley, the Thomas siblings, and the Muppets knew was Gwen Stacy since she’d certainly had her name and picture plastered in enough places with that of Scrooge McDuck and his nephews since their near-death experience—continued, “So, I ask you, when you’re dropping without a parachute, or your store’s being robbed, or your house is on fire, who is it that breaks your fall and puts out the flames and saves your children?”

“Spider-Man!” bellowed the crowd.

Atop a nearby building, Peter Parker—clad in his red-and-blue costume—listened to Gwen Stacy’s introduction and waited for the right moment to make his surprise appearance (though he couldn’t help but to wonder what the surprise was that the Electric Company cast had). The crowd shouted Spider-Man’s name, and he murmured to himself in amazement, “They love me.”

“And who,” Gwen was saying, “with astounding courage puts his life on the line every day for justice and fairness?”

“Spider-Man!” they screamed yet again. And the more they had, the more Kim and Ron were beginning to feel neglected, wondering why exactly were they sitting up there on stage while everyone was cheering for one person…and one person only.

“Then let’s hear it,” said Gwen, expertly playing to the crowd, “for the one, for the only, for the fabulous, the sexy…Spider-Maaaaaaan!”

The music swelled; the crowd roared. Had there been a roof, the energy level would have been through it. And, in addition, there was a choir of children that the Electric Company cast had brought with them, singing a Spider-Man song that was quite different from the usual “Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man” theme that a lot of musicians and singers on the street had performed at times.

In harmony with the band, the kids sang, “Spider-Man! Where are you coming from? Spider-Man! Nobody knows who you are!”

And all that from people who still didn’t know if Spider-Man was actually going to show up. It was a celebration of more than just the hero and his team; it was all about the city’s appreciation for him. How could he possibly let down his adoring public?

Firing a web line, Peter was about to swing from the rooftop straight to the stage, until he stopped and noticed someone strangely familiar coming out from behind a large golden curtain and out onto the stage. Peter could barely believe his eyes when he realized that the “surprise guest” was none other than Spider-Man…only it wasn’t the Spider-Man…it was extremely skinny man dressed in a crudely made Spidey costume, complete with webbing that extended from his underarms to his torso. The costume that the “Spidey Wannabe” was wearing was nowhere close to Peter’s highly styled one.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Peter uttered, shaking his head as it dawned upon him that the imposter was only something offered by the cast of The Electric Company, in case he didn’t show up. “I should’ve called ahead of time.”

Peter’s feelings on the low-budget replacement were mutual with the crowd, as they all laughed, booed, and chanted “Spider-Man! Spider-Man!” again while the Spidey imposter was giving them all a thumb up and clapping his hands together. Across from him on the stage, Kim and Ron looked hugely embarrassed and felt like they wanted to run off the stage immediately. Scrooge McDuck was trying his best not to lose his cool, realizing that he actually paid money for such a abysmal stunt, while his nephews were just downright perplexed. Gwen Stacy just seemed very disappointed that the real person who saved her life wasn’t there to hear her say “Thank you” again. And even the Electric Company cast seemed nervous about their “surprise” for the crowd.

“Spidey-Man doesn’t look like he’s eaten in a million years.” Stanley commented. Lori and Sean tried to keep compose themselves long enough to see what was happening on stage.

They noticed Morgan Freeman stepping offstage for a brief moment and disappearing behind the setting. While he was away, Skip slowly and nervously walked up to the microphone, trying to seem very professional as he addressed the wild, cheated crowd. “Heeeeere he is, ladies and gentleman! Spider-Man!” A roar of boos coming directly from the crowd nearly had Skip jumping out of his pants. He looked behind him and noticed an empty chair that he quickly walked over to and sat in, clutching onto it like it was the only thing he had to comfort him. “I love my chair. I love my chair. I love my chair.”

As soon as Skip introduced him, Morgan came back to the stage, dressed up like Dracula. Seeing him in that getup made Sean lower his head in despair and Lori laugh even harder. “Is he certain that Shawshank was his favorite film? Because from where I’m standing, it’s starting to look a lot like Blacula!”

Kermit couldn’t help but to cringe along with Fozzie, Jenny, and Rizzo over the horrible display of bad makeup and oversized costumes on the stage. “Uh…maybe it’s not all that bad. Mr. Freeman is an Oscar-winning actor after all.”

Morgan’s performance was anything but at that moment, as he hissed at both the crowd (who hissed back in response) and said tons of clichés to the Spidey performer, such as “I want to suck your blood,” and even made horrible puns like “You’re not the only one here who bites” (that one actually got an applause from the crowd, because it was so true). But what really ruined the performance further was how cartoon word balloons appeared over the Spidey performer’s head, which were accompanied by electronic punctuation sounds for emphasis. As soon as one that said “I will stop you!” appeared over his head, the crowd gasped (one woman had passed out from the sight).

“Why do I feel like I just ate some really bad cheese?” Rizzo asked.

But if there was one person in the crowd who seemed to find it all highly interesting, it was Gonzo, who was just astounded by the way the cartoon word balloons appeared over the fake Spidey’s head. “Wow! I’ve really gotta learn that cool trick! I could turn my whole life into a comic book in a split second!”

Back on the rooftop, Peter realized that this was all going downhill pretty fast and needed to do something quick to protect his reputation. Without hesitation, he swung out high over the crowd. It took only seconds for people to spot him, and if the cheers had sounded loud before, they were now positively thunderous, spectators just out of their minds with glee. The mood had definitely changed after only a second.

Peter drank it in hungrily, greedily, like a man dying of thirst coming upon not simply an oasis, but an Irish pub. He was giddy with the adoration; it was intoxicating. And like a man who was genuinely drunk, he went further than he should have.

Gwen Stacy clapped her hands in delight as she saw Spider-Man hurtling down toward her. The Electric Company cast all breathed a sigh of relief upon witnessing his arrival, feeling as if they were dead in the water before he had shown up. Scrooge was quite happy himself, as he realized that hundreds of dollars hadn’t completely gone to waste, and his nephews were just as thrilled as the E.C. crew and Gwen were. And Kim and Ron felt relieved themselves that their friend and partner arrived in time to spare them of further humiliation. The only one who seemed like he wasn’t happy to see Spidey was the fake Spidey himself, who put his hands on his hips as he watched him.

In the crowd, Stanley was hopping up and down with glee on Edward’s shoulder, seeing the Spider-Men on stage. “Wow, oh, wow! I didn’t know there were actually two Spider-Man! That’s awesome!” Lori and Sean both smiled over his excitement, knowing that this was the first time he encountered Spider-Man up close rather than on television or in newspapers.

Kermit leaned in close to Fozzie and Gonzo and whispered, “I’m glad he’d shown up as soon as he did. This crowd was starting to become as wild as that wrestling one the night we discovered Spider-Man.”

“Oh! You had to remind of that.” Fozzie remarked, while placing a paw over his eyes with grief. “That was one horrible night.”

“It was one of the greatest for me.” Gonzo said.

Spider-Man swung high above, twirling his body as he soared in an upward arc. It was pure showing off. Not that it mattered in the least; the crowd was eating up every moment. He then dropped down at dizzying speed. There were gasps, some of shock and fear that he was going to hit the ground like a rock, and some in excitement as they anticipated his pulling out of it just in time. The second contingent was naturally correct as he fired a webline behind him that snagged the top of the City Hall archway.

Spider-Man lowered himself so that he was upside down and dangling right in between Gwen and the fake Spidey. He turned and faced his lame counterpart and said, “Hit the road, Jack! This city’s only big enough for one Spider-Man!”

The fake Spider-Man’s only response to the real one’s comment was a balloon that read, “&#*@” After that, he walked off the stage to the satisfaction of everyone on stage and everyone out in the crowd. Just as soon as he was gone, Gwen put her arms around the real Spider-Man and posed for the battery of cameras that flashed away.

“He sure is enjoying all of this, isn’t he?” Sean asked Lori.

“Yeah,” she replied. “Maybe a little too much.”

Under his mask, Peter was grinning like a lunatic. Suddenly, to the sound of wolf whistles and cries of “Kiss him!” Gwen gave him a kiss on his masked cheek. With his ego swelled almost to bursting by the unparalleled adulation of the crowd, Peter proceeded to seize the moment full on. “Go ahead, lay one on me,” he told her.

Gwen looked startled, but not in a bad way. “Really?”

“They’ll love it.”

She leaned in toward him and pulled down his mask so that it cleared his mouth. Then she kissed him with a startling ferocity that Peter wouldn’t have expected from the normally sedate Gwen Stacy. For an instant it took him out of the moment, and he remembered that improbable, deliriously romantic kiss he’d shared with Mary Jane while rain poured down upon them in buckets. That kiss seemed long ago and far away, and this was very much happening in the here and now. All he was thinking about were the shouts and cheers, and that his head was probably going to explode any moment.

The thoughts of that rain-soaked kiss also caused him to dwell on Mary Jane, but he wasn’t concerned. She was a working actress—he’d watched her kiss other guys onstage, and it hadn’t bothered him because he knew that she was performing a character. That’s all he was doing as well.

However, Mary Jane was watching with her eyes wide, filled with disbelief, hurt, and anger. After witnessing the kiss onstage, the Thomas siblings looked in her direction along with Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo, knowing exactly what must’ve been going through her mind at that moment. Neither of them had any clue what Peter was playing at nor if it was some sort of sick game to try to make her jealous.

“Oh, Pete.” Lori sadly murmured, looking down in disappointment. Edward, who was standing close to Lori at the time, had heard a little of what she just said and couldn’t help but to sense how sad she was. His hearing was the one thing that had overwhelmed his sight at that moment, and he was left in the dark (no pun intended) of what just occurred onstage.

“What’s going on?” He asked. “Did she kiss him?”

Lori let out a small sigh before she answered. “Oh, yeah. She sucked his face clean off, all right.”

“Wow! Hope Pete’s getting a shot of this.” Edward said.

“Not like the shot Mary Jane’s going to want to give him.” Lori said in a lower tone of voice.

Mary Jane, unable to take it anymore, felt tears stinging her eyes. She turned away and wiped the moisture from her face, praying that it wouldn’t cause her makeup to run. Lori noticed how much pain she was in and couldn’t imagine this day getting worse for her.

“Man! Was that the lamest kiss in the history of kisses or what?” Rizzo commented, having no idea how much he made the moment equally horrible for Mary Jane.

His being clueless was enough to anger Lori as she said, “Rizzo…shut up.”

Back on stage, Gwen was only partly playing to the crowd as she affected a swoon. She stepped away from Spider-Man, swaying a bit, and grasped the standing microphone as if it were the only thing preventing her from falling over. “Wow!” she sighed, right before a shadow suddenly fell over her.

At first Gwen thought that some errant clouds had moved in and blocked out the sun. But, no—the sky was clear. Meanwhile the shadow continued to spread, darkness covering the crowd, Spider-Man, and the entire district. People began to scream and point, and then Gwen saw what was causing it. Even when she did, it made no sense. She could imagine something like this in the middle of the Sahara, but not in downtown Manhattan.

But there it was, unmistakable: a cloud of sand, hundreds of feet high, barreling toward them, blotting out the sun and hurtling at high speed down the narrow canyons of the city. Spectators started to run, prepared to stampede over whoever was in their way to get clear of it, and then suddenly—impossibly—the sandstorm made a sharp right three blocks shy of overwhelming the celebration. Rounding a corner as if it were a combination of sandstorm and tornado, the sand cloud disappeared, although a distant roaring could still be heard.

“O.K., other than awesome cartoon balloons popping over people’s heads, that made no sense at all.” Gonzo said.

Sean wiped his disbelieving eyes to check and see if he was imagining things, while Lori knew instantly that she was seeing the same thing as everyone else had. “What in God’s name was that?”

Before her question could have been remotely answered, there was another roar from the crowd, and soon afterwards, Spidey had bounded upward, firing a webline and swinging off after what would more than likely turn out to be some sort of weird atmospheric condition. It wasn’t long before Kim and Ron stepped off the stage and ran through the crowd, passing by Mary Jane, Edward, Stanley, Jenny, the Thomas siblings, and the Muppets as they headed in the direction of “The Sloth,” a high-tech vehicle driven by Kim Possible herself. It was parked right next to Lori’s Porsche and had left the lot in a split second, heading in the direction of both Spidey and the unusual sandstorm.

“C’mon, Lori! Let’s follow them and see what this is all about!” Sean exclaimed, already on his way towards his sister’s Porsche, with her following close behind. As they neared it, Sean focused on Edward, Mary Jane, Jenny, and the Muppets with a serious look on his face. “Get Stanley back to the Happiness Hotel right now. We’ll meet you there once we get to the bottom of this.”

“Wait!” Fozzie said, running up to the siblings and nearly losing his breath once he had reached them. “I want to come with you.”

Lori exchanged a bewildered look with her brother before addressing the exhausted and yet enthusiastic bear. “Fozzie, no offense, sweetie…but this isn’t like the old days. You’re not a reporter now. You could get hurt.”

“You say that like it’s never happened before.” Fozzie remarked. “Come on! Please! It’s been so long since I’ve been on a real investigation that I’d almost forgotten how fun it is. I want to share that experience with you guys again.”

The Thomas siblings found it overwhelming enough to have one large, orange, furry bear under their guidance. To have another was just downright unbearable (pun intended). But Fozzie was a very dear friend of theirs, who had his share of perilous experiences with his Muppet friends and even a greater experience with them while on the Bugle staff as they uncovered the origins of the city’s greatest hero. What harm would it do to have him accompany them on yet another wild and crazy adventure?

Sean and Lori both smiled at him and said in unison, “Get in, Fozzie.”

END OF CHAPTER NINE​

 

[The Count]

Ooh! So much goodness here! Loved everything from the detail and pathos of the ego-trip for Pete... Anticipating the confrontation with Sandman and whoever else's backing him up. Please post more soon.

 

[muppetwriter]

I'll try my best to get another one in soon. I'm going back to school a week from today, so I might be pretty busy until then.

 

[The Count]

Whatever you can get posted, you know we appreciate it. BTW: Another Spidey/EC connection. Bruce Campbell, who was the MC at the wrestling match in the first Spidey movie (and mayhaps cameoed as Mysterio in the last one, not sure) appeared as a sort of villain named The Tickler. He gave up his life of villainry when Spidey helped him realize he was better suited to be a stand-up comedian.
Another crossover connection is... There was a villain named the Birthday Bandit, who was later brought back as a villain for Teamo Supremo, paralleling the gimmicks of one clown prince of crime.