Ugh, the internets has been slow all morning!
Hello, Muppet party people! So, when you has three fics going on at the same time, you get three ideas coming at you from every side! Technically, I wanted to get this up for you last night, but apparently Microsoft is compelled to ensure that just about everything that should work with it doesn't, unless you're spending more money.
I will tolerate you until I get a Roku, then I will tolerate you no more. Except for movies, cause you are good at that. usually.
Anyway, here's an extra long continuation of part three!
Howie deposited them in front of Tres Delight with plenty of time to spare to make their reservation, even though most of the staff was familiar with the usual trio who normally came in. As trained by his company, the driver quickly hopped out to open the backdoor for the ladies; even if he hadn’t been trained to do so, he would have for these three ladies and had always done so.
Not only were they beautiful, but they never treated him the way some of his other fares had, with a side of contempt and a heaping of impatience should he be a second late in opening the door for them. “Merci, Howie,” Piggy replied, allowing the younger man hold her hand to help her out, just as he did with all four.
“You’re always welcome, Miss Piggy,” he said, saucily, winking at the quartet. “I’ll pick you lovely ladies back up in about an hour, alright?”
“Magnifique, Howie my love.”
“Enjoy your lunch, lovies.”
“Sweet guy,” the Whatnot commented, as he drove off.
“Oh yeah,” Janice nodded. “Helps when he’s in love with us.”
The restaurant was a bit busier today than normal, but not by much. The host greeted them happily and led them to their favorite table, a rounded booth that was a combination of being center stage and yet kept in the shadows at the same time.
“How long have you gals been coming here?”
“Like years,” Janice replied, not bothering to look at her menu. “This is totally our booth, you know?”
“There is a certain amount of prestige that is given to certain…people within the industry,” Piggy replied, smiling at their waiter who had come by to deliver their waters.
“The usual, ladies?” he asked.
“Amanda dear,” the diva said, nodding to the waiter on his assessment. “Why don’t you try what I’m having?”
“Which is?”
“The sole meuniere.”
“Sure,” she said, smiling at the waiter. “I’ll have what she’s having.”
The waiter smiled, before heading off to the kitchen to get their orders in.
“I would’ve thought there’d be more stars here.”
“What,” the guitarist giggled. “You don’t like the ones you’re with?”
Amanda chuckled at that. “Hardly,” she said. “I’m sure you three would be the only ones I could turn to if the paparazzi hit.”
“Let’s hope they don’t,” replied Piggy. “That’s the last thing we’d want to happen.”
“No worries on that,” Janice laughed. “Amanda and I will do all the hiding and you and Camilla can do what you do best!”
Camilla puffed up in pride, remarking that there was so much she and Piggy did well, it would be hard to narrow it down; that of course caused the entire table to laugh. Amanda knew she would be in good hands should the restaurant come under siege by hungry reporters wanting to know who was inside and doing what in the place.
But even as talk moved on to different things, the Whatnot’s thoughts couldn’t help but return to Scooter. She had lowered her shock and initial disappointment in him by the time they had arrived, but she couldn’t help wonder what girl in their right mind wouldn’t want to date him; sure, he was well beyond being financially stable, but he was also intelligent, kind, caring, ridiculously sexy…
“What?”
“Told you.”
During her musings, Amanda had missed a question that had been asked by Camilla, which had prompted Piggy to state that the redhead was obviously thinking about Scooter, which of course she was.
“Camilla wanted to know how business was,” Piggy explained. “And of course when you didn’t answer and got that far away look…”
“What far away look?”
“That look that one gets when thinking of their special someone,” the diva continued. “I may have gotten it once or twice.”
“Once or twice, she says,” the blonde murmured to the chicken, making both of them giggle.
“As have my cackling counterparts here.”
“Hey,” Janice placated. “Like you’ll get no argument from me. Believe it or not, my man can pull out some major charm points.”
“So she says,” Piggy muttered. “Personally, I think he’s put her under a spell.”
“And a groovy one at that.”
“Alright, you caught me,” the red head replied. “I was thinking about Scooter. I mean, his behavior earlier and not, you know, anything else.”
“For that, Miss Amanda,” Piggy said. “We apologize. Andrew is quite right when he…alluded to the fact that we have not…treated his past love interests very kindly.”
“We’ve given them the ole heave ho, you know?”
“What exactly did they do?” asked Amanda. “So I can avoid the same fate.”
Smirking, the diva went on, stating, “The love interests that our dear, sweet Andrew has attracted in the past usually fall into two categories – those that love him because he’s surrounded by celebrities all day or those who have tried their best to keep him away from celebrities all week.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Well, you’ve hung around us long enough,” Janice began. “Like, you’ve seen that we’re totally…uh…”
“Exuberant?”
“Whoa,” the guitarist breathed. “I was totally going to say rowdy…”
“I would’ve gone with insane,” the diva interrupted. “But exuberant makes it sound a little better. Anyway, as anyone will tell you, you don’t exactly just date one Muppet, you’re dating the entire troupe and the prospect of trying to get away from us can be daunting. Believe me, I know.”
“Sure, I could get that,” the Whatnot nodded, in argument. “But I don’t see what the big deal is. I like you guys; if I didn’t, I wouldn’t keep coming back to see the show on Sundays.”
“And I’m sure you would’ve kicked us out of your dad’s bar,” Janice added.
“See, I told you,” Piggy replied. Gesturing to Janice and Camilla, she said, “They didn’t believe me when I said you were perfectly fine with us.” Leaning closer, she whispered, “They’re the troublemakers, not me.”
Amanda managed to keep the smile that threatened to reveal itself from actually revealing itself, especially in light of the way Janice and Camilla glanced at the diva. “I could see that.”
[hr]
Idiot didn’t convey the stupidity in which Scooter felt and had acted.
From the time he had watched his girlfriend leave with three of the Muppets’ leading ladies, he knew he acted shamefully and in front of the group at large. And while he didn’t think Amanda was terribly upset with him, he couldn’t help feeling that he had crossed the ultimate line and that things were over.
“Stop worrying,” Kermit replied, hearing the telltale sigh that accompanied his assistant for the last twenty minutes of conversation. “If I know Piggy – and I know Piggy – she’ll make sure that Amanda isn’t too mad at you when they come back.”
“If they come back,” the page muttered. “Probably doesn’t want to see me again after the way I acted.”
“Well, you were kinda in your rights,” Gonzo piped up. “Those three are an unholy trinity of evil. They’re the ones we call when we need to break someone up; ironically, they’re also the people we call when we haven’t gotten paid. Coincidence, I think not.”
“They don’t really break relationships up, do they!?” Scooter asked, anxiousness lacing his tone.
“Good going, Gonzo.”
“Not the…couples they like!” the weirdo amended. He probably shouldn’t have said anything and now he knew he certainly couldn’t let Scooter in on their ultimate mission of keeping certain Muppets away from other Muppets or other people. “And they like Amanda! Piggy’s practically planning your wedding!”
“Please,” the younger Muppet huffed. “She’s too busy planning hers and Kermit’s wedding.”
Ignoring the look that Kermit threw his assistant, Gonzo continued with, “Well, it’s on her list anyway.”
“Don’t you have something to do?” asked the frog.
“No,” the stuntman replied, sticking his tongue out. “Because a certain someone thought my juggling sword act was dangerous.”
“Do you not remember Fozzie’s attempt to do the same thing in ’82?”
“Okay, first of all,” Gonzo interrupted. “Fozzie is not a trained sword juggler. Secondly, I clearly remember us banning the bear from any sharp instruments years before that, so…”
“Do you think I should call her?”
“You’re wrong, Gonzo,” Kermit said. “We banned you from sharp instruments and I believe a certain petting zoo that same year.”
“And for the last time, it wasn’t me, it was the monkeys who did that! Do I look like the kind of guy who’d…cause I’m not! And certainly not in public!”
“Maybe I should call Piggy instead…”
“Those hippos said different.”
“You’re gonna trust the word of some gossipy hippos over that of your best friend?” Gonzo asked, flabbergasted at the very thought. “I’m hurt, Kermit. Really hurt.”
“Maybe I should just drive down there,” Scooter continued, heedless of the secondary conversation that was happening around him. “You know, I think that’s a good idea. For all I know, they’re torturing her for information or something equally horrible. I can’t let that happen. I knew I should’ve stopped her from going!”
“Look,” Gonzo continued. “All I’m saying is there was circumstantial evidence. Was I in the chicken coop? Possibly, and… I may have goosed that goose, but as far as those monkeys are concerned…”
“Excuse me, Gonzo,” Kermit said, holding up a hand to stop whatever other excuse the weirdo was going to come up with for that day. “Hey Doc! Get him will you?”
A minute later, Dr. Teeth – leader and most excellent of keyboardists for the Electric Mayhem – walked over to the desk where Kermit and Gonzo were discussing the petting zoo incident of ’78, pulling along with him a protesting Scooter.
“Dang it, Doc!” was his protest. “My girlfriend could be in mortal peril!”
“Mellow son, mellow,” the keyboardist replied, depositing the younger Muppet at the desk and patting him on the head. “Your brain waves are heavy in the air. What you need is something soothing for your soul. Hey Walter! Come over here and lay down some smooth tracks for our manager friend.”
Walter, the newest member of the Muppets, happily complied with the request, taking Dr. Teeth’s place at the backstage desk. “Hey guys!” he said, cheerfully. Glancing at Kermit and Gonzo, he asked Scooter, “What’s going on?”
“Oh nothing,” the stage manager growled. “Only that the Axis of Evil has taken my girlfriend hostage and they’re too busy reminiscing about that petting zoo incident from ’78.”
“What petting zoo incident?”
“Not for young ears, Walter,” Kermit replied, kindly.
“Oh!” Scooter exclaimed. “He gets not for young ears and yet, there was no where I could go without having to hear about it play by play.”
“First of all,” Gonzo said. “We all agreed you were gonna be corrupted anyway, so we decided not to spare you anymore. Especially after hearing about that Mayhem trip…”
“What Mayhem trip?” asked both Walter and Kermit.
Scooter glared at the weirdo. No one outside of said trip was supposed to know what happened and an innocent slip by the stage manager himself had let the weirdo in the know. But that was supposed to be it!
“You mean that Mayhem trip you weren’t supposed to mention ever again!?”
Gonzo hastily rolled up his sleeve and looked at his wrist, despite the fact that he never wore a watch. “Gosh, will you look at the time?” he said. “I gotta go!”
“What Mayhem trip?”
“I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Scooter replied. He and the frog stared at each other for a moment before he asked, “Think I should call Janice?”
“Maybe I should call Janice,” Kermit countered. “And maybe she can tell me about this Mayhem trip that I don’t know about. Or, you can stop worrying and help me with the lunatics back here. Not you, Walter!” he amended, remembering the young Muppet standing in their area. “You’re…you’re relatively sane.”
“For now.”
“Don’t scare the boy!”
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