Six Ball Merengue

[WebMistressGina]

And without further ado, here is our third story in something I like to call the Pool Hall series. The series all began way back with Eight Ball Rhumba and then continued with Seven Ball Tango; would of course be very helpful if you read those two beforehand as it's a continuation of sorts.

So, for those of you that have read the first two stories - you'll remember that Piggy had so graciously asked if Scooter's new lady love would be available for lunch sometime. Scooter of course was less than thrilled about the prospect...

And now...here's the prologue!


Who texts someone at a little after eight on a Wednesday morning?

That had been the thought of one Amanda Cosgrove, business manager for the Cosgrove Cool Pool Pool Hall. An early riser by nature, there were very few of her friends who felt the same inclination to be up at the crack of dawn.

Now, Amanda’s boyfriend was an exception to the rule. As stage manager and administrative assistant for a theater and that of the troupe’s director, Scooter Grosse was usually up around the same time she was, sometimes even earlier. There were times in which maybe he hadn’t even gone to bed or thought about going to bed; she attributed that to the fact that he usually worked long hours and didn’t want to leave things as is and the fact that he was a complete an utter nerd, like herself.

Trying to find a guy who could be both geeky, nerdy, and sophisticated had been a difficult journey, especially when most guys weren’t sure what to make of a successful businesswoman who enjoyed some of the more hardcore and violent games that most guys did; add in that she knew more about certain subjects than she should – like biochem, for instance – and she could quote just about any and every popular sci-fi reference there was ever made, her potential suitors were a little put off.

Not Scooter.

Their very first make-out session had started as they debated the parallel universe between the new Star Trek movie that had come out in 2009 versus the Star Trek of the television series. They had been on two sides of an argument – whether the universes would ever merge or if Spock had literally changed history by just being in an alternate universe with his younger counterpart – and before they could blink, they had been all over each other.

Not making any movement to stop the smile that graced her face, Amanda immediately went to her cell phone, hoping that the very person who had text was the very person she was thinking about.

It wasn’t.

It was an unknown number and it seemed to know her, rather than the other way around.

Unknown: Good morning, Miss Amanda! How are vous this glorious morning?

Mandy: I’m good, thank you very much for asking. I hope I don’t sound rude when I ask, but who are you?

Unknown: Sorry, mon ami! I should have announced myself before intruding. It is I, the one, the only Miss Piggy.

Mandy: Oh! Well then a VERY good morning to you, Miss Piggy! Wait…don’t I already have your phone number? Why didn’t it show up?

Divine Miss P: You can thank your darling Andrew for that. It allows for the house phone to be forwarded to me or in the case of…unwanted attention, I have a special number for those of course I deem worthy of having and you dear, have made it to that circle.

Mandy: Awesome!

Divine Miss P: I hope you don’t mind me texting. I find trying to get a message across through third parties so cumbersome, don’t you?

Mandy: Absolutely.

Divine Miss P: Well, I won’t keep you, dear. There was, after all, a reason for my text. A few of the girls and I usually go out to lunch on this day and we would be ever so delighted if you were to join us.

Mandy: The honor is all mine, Miss Piggy! Thank you very much!

Divine Miss P: But of course. I know you and Scooter would be lunching, but he understood of course. He was perfectly alright with it.

Mandy: Not that I need Scooter’s permission or anything…

Divine Miss P: Of course, mon ami! Forgive me for implying that you did. But he is after all, a man, and they can be so babyish when it comes to things like this. It’s all settled then?

Mandy: Of course!

Divine Miss P: Excellent! Just come by the theater around noon today. We usually head out around quarter after. Can you take an hour?

Mandy: Sure. I usually don’t go in until about four anyway. So I’m yours until you tell me to scram.

Divine Miss P: Never, dearheart. And I can tell you that our little Scooter feels the same. I’ll see you then. Kisses!

Amanda put the phone down, the smile she had reserved for Scooter went down a little, but she couldn’t help grinning still. She must have made quite an impression with Piggy to not only give her the actual number to her cell phone, but then to also invite her to lunch.

With some of the other ladies from the show.

Suddenly, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go or not.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Six Ball Merengue​

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Chap I


Wednesdays at the Muppet Theatre were actually the high point of the week – it was the first day in which acts could perform in front of the director and stage manager, in order to get either the seal of approval for the live performance on Saturday or be sent off to try again, with the provision that if it met with their approval, it could be green lit to go.

The revision of the Muppet Show was just as crazy and chaotic as the first show, with many of their popular acts returning for a second engagement; but with the new popular status of their show and the Muppets themselves, new acts seemed to be lined up around the block, all wanting to addition and be a part of the new Muppet line up.

One of those acts was from Walter, a plucky young kid from small town America; Walter had been as instrumental in getting the Muppets back together as their own irresistible charm and talent. The young Muppet had one dream in his life and that was to see the Muppets and that of Muppet Studios; that dream had been fulfilled more than he had ever imagined.

Walter, who had been convinced he was a talentless smuck who had just started the one group of celebrities on a trail that would end in failure, found his talent at the very last moment – his whistling technique was on par with the best of opera singers and some of the others were convinced that Walter’s last minute performance was what helped them get the money they needed.

He was also a constant reminder to them that their fans still loved them and had just been waiting for them to return.

The plucky Muppet was all set to be in that week’s show and was doing what he could to help around the theater, finally being exposed to the everyday zaniness that was the Muppets.

For the stage manager of the Muppet Show, it was another day in the week that he wasn’t able to see his girlfriend. Scooter Grosse wasn’t a ladies man by any means – his very interest in all things geek, as well as his heavy involvement with what essentially a theater troupe – had put him off the dating game throughout high school and onwards. Those girls that did seem interested in him were actually usually interested in the celebrities he could meet thanks to his famous association or they were the kind of girls who were not particularly interested in his famous association.

Those girls never made it past the first round.

Because for every girl that thought they could flirt and flatter their way into the inner circle of Scooter Grosse, they were immediately stopped by the leader of the so-called Muppet Mafia. It was a name that Floyd Pepper, the bassist for the Electric Mayhem, had come up with to describe the sisterly and sometimes parental blocking that occurred with the female members of the troupe; three in particular felt it was their duty to protect their young co-star from the trappings of the female species.

Janice, the Mayhem’s guitarist, had all but adopted the teenager as a younger brother right around the time that the Mayhem in general had taken the youngster under their wing when he started learning bass and guitar. The blonde had enjoyed the time she spent teaching him how to play guitar, despite the fact that – as any teenager would – he developed a crush on her eventually. Thankfully he was aware that there could only be friendship between them, but it didn’t mean that he hadn’t felt the sting of teenage heartbreak. Janice took her position as unofficial big sister to be the shoulder that he needed to cry on.

Camilla Clücks, the poultry girlfriend of the Muppets’ performance artist/daredevil, liked the go-fer to the point where she didn’t want anything to harm the boy. He had always been nice to her and was a staunch supporter of their chicken union, being the unofficial bridge between them and Kermit the Frog, the troupe’s director and producer.

And then there was the ringleader.

For every scheme that he had helped her with, sometimes Scooter wondered why Miss Piggy had picked him as her relationship project. Piggy had to be the worst of the three – she was usually the deciding factor in the potential girlfriend sect and also the one who would deliver the very hammer to anyone that remotely considered themselves worthy of dating the teen. You had to be someone very special in order to get past her, not to mention the other two, and that was just getting through the front gate.

There was still a circle of Muppets who would make it very clear that if they objected to said girl, they would do anything to protect Scooter from harm.

As much as he found it to be highly annoying, Scooter couldn’t help but be touched by the fact that he had such good friends who would vet girls for him.

Up until a few weeks ago, Scooter had been convinced that he had made it to a crossroads. An idea to host a pool tournament within the theater had led to him meeting the most wonderful and the most beautiful of women in the form of Amanda Cosgrove and for some crazy reason, she found him to be as equally wonderful as he thought she was. An innocent request from Piggy to set up dinner with just her, Kermit, Amanda, and himself had turned into a typical Muppet night at The Frogs’.

Scooter had already begun to reach panic mode when he had realized he would be unable to choose between this wonderful girl and that of the people he literally thought of as family. Luckily, as disastrous as he thought the night was, Amanda had thoroughly enjoyed herself and was relieved in knowing that those closest to Scooter liked her too. As far as the stage manager was concerned, she had passed every test possible.

Since then, he and Amanda had spent as much time with each other as their schedules permitted; and if he was honest with himself, Scooter was almost certain he was falling for her, probably had fallen for her. But along with spending time with her, he was also getting the question he dreaded from Piggy and that was when Amanda would be available to have lunch with her. Oh, he knew ‘lunch’ was a code word for ‘when can the Muppet Mafia take the girl for her paces’ and while he hadn’t stopped it earlier, this time he would.

He wasn’t going to let the leading lady get her little pork mitts on his girlfriend.

Not this time.

 

[The Count]

Yay! And so it continues.

Er Scooter, I hate to bring you bad news dude. But you're too late. The Muppet Mafia's already gotten to your girl. Pretty soon they'll turn her into one of their own. And then you'll know it's not the others you have to dread, but Amanda herself.

Happy to see Walter's getting into the act, as he should here now that he's also part of the troop.

Thanks for letting me know this had started Skulley. You know, that's kind of my mental image of Amanda now, but not with the dull sleepy closed eyes Jillian Anderson has.
Oh, and I hope you approve of her cameo in my August fic.

*Leaves milk for Gina cause she can't eat solids yet. And no, there isn't a Think in that milk this time.

* chases after unaware he's calling her by her last name.

Other things I liked were how you depicted as the older sister and as a friend because had always been nice to her relationship with Gonzo.

Post more when you can, and finish Bought It too.
Yeah, I know I'm asking much out of you. So I'm just going to wait patiently for your update(s).
Thanks as always.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Yay! And so it continues.

Oh it continues alright. I've got stories all the way up to 3 Ball (or was it 2 Ball??)

Er Scooter, I hate to bring you bad news dude. But you're too late. The Muppet Mafia's already gotten to your girl. Pretty soon they'll turn her into one of their own. And then you'll know it's not the others you have to dread, but Amanda herself.

Funny you should phrase it that way...

Happy to see Walter's getting into the act, as he should here now that he's also part of the troop.

I have been meaning to put Walter in cause he was kinda prominent and you know, is a member of the troop. This was the first time that he immediately came to mind, sadly he probably won't in this as much, but it's an effort and effort counts.

Thanks for letting me know this had started Skulley. You know, that's kind of my mental image of Amanda now, but not with the dull sleepy closed eyes Jillian Anderson has.

I like Gillian Anderson! And a Muppety version of her would be awesome. I could see Amanda as that...

Oh, and I hope you approve of her cameo in my August fic.

Done and done

*Leaves milk for Gina cause she can't eat solids yet. And no, there isn't a Think in that milk this time.

Hope it is Soy cause that's the only milk I'll drink willingly. Unless it's chocolate, but I'm not sure if I can have that.

I miss solid foods sooooooo very much. So very very much.

* chases after unaware he's calling her by her last name.

I meant to do the umlou in the last Monday fic and forgot and then remembered in this fic, so from now on Camilla is Camilla Clucks (with an umlou, which apparently I can't do on my laptop. Drats!)

Other things I liked were how you depicted as the older sister and as a friend because had always been nice to her relationship with Gonzo.

I so see Janice as a big sister to some and a little sister to others. She has just an upbeat personality, I can't see her as the kind of muscle behind the Muppet Mafia, hence why she's the person Scooter would go to for comfort.

I actually had meant to put in a line that Camilla was grateful to both him and Kermit for stopping Gonzo for doing some of his more outrageous performances and then forgot; but again, Scooter's such a likable guy, it's hard to not want to protect that when he was all young and innocent.

Piggy, on the other hand...

Post more when you can, and finish Bought It too.
Yeah, I know I'm asking much out of you. So I'm just going to wait patiently for your update(s).
Thanks as always.

May work on one of the two later tonight. Has got to catch up on school work and was supposed to be working for a few hours today and hasn't, so we'll see. I'll probably be able to do more on Tuesday, though this is one of those times where I really wished I had been able to buy my tablet this month. Oh well.

 

[The Count]

Chocolate milk? Sure. Just don't get the one with a talking cow image on the carton. That's no talking cow you ignorant mom! It's a half-spider half-bovine possessive spirit of anger of the spider people named Arachnitaur!
I thought that was one of the two species of ushi-oni from Japan.

Do you mean "umlout"?
If you're trying to type just the two horizontal periods that top vowels, there's no computer combination for the symbol, you have to punch in the code for the particular vowel umlouted you want. Though we call it "dieresis" in Spanish.

No solid foods!
*Insert doing his evil sprite two-toned whistle.
Yeah, I remember the two-week period I had to be on a liquid diet after an operation about ten years ago. But on Tuesday you shall feast, and it shall be glorious!

Okay, I'm done. For now. *Skulks off to wait for some other fic to be updated.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Chocolate milk? Sure. Just don't get the one with a talking cow image on the carton. That's no talking cow you ignorant mom! It's a half-spider half-bovine possessive spirit of anger of the spider people named Arachnitaur!

Um...that...sounds uber scary, so I'll just do plain choco milk, por favor.

Do you mean "umlout"?

Yes. Yes I did.

If you're trying to type just the two horizontal periods that top vowels, there's no computer combination for the symbol, you have to punch in the code for the particular vowel umlouted you want. Though we call it "dieresis" in Spanish.

Yes there is, as you can see above. The problem is I can't do it on my laptop, as the number keys are function keys, which makes doing them difficult. Obviously, I have no issues on my desktop (which is where I sit now)

No solid foods!

I know! I seriously wondered if I could get away with sushi for dinner, but decided that, after my horrific adventures with the oatmeal, I'm too scared. Though I will say I wish I had done sushi before, as rice is much better getting out of teeth than apparently oatmeal is.

Okay, I'm done. For now. *Skulks off to wait for some other fic to be updated.

That was actually my reason for coming downstairs; well, actually it was because I felt a little lightheaded and it's much cooler down here than upstairs, BUT along with that was that I figured I'd work on something story-ish.

 

[The Count]

Oh, laptop vs. desktop. Okay, götcha.

As for the choco milk, *hands her a box.
The reference to Arachnitaur was from Billy and Mandy: Wrath of the Spider Queen.

Rice? That reminds me, gotta go and bug mom for some dinner.
Maybe the sushi place is where Piggy and the girls will end up for conspiratorial lunch plans?

Oh, and there's that question I asked in our own private conversation. Take care girl.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Mucho sorry for the lateness here! I had issues in syncing this from my desktop to that of my laptop (as in, it wasn't showing up) I finally got it to work yesterday. Here's chapter 2!


Chap II

Meanwhile, in another area of the Muppet Theater, three of the show’s popular leading ladies were in a conference of some sort.

Miss Piggy, the leading lady, Janice Bennington, guitarist for the Electric Mayhem, and Camilla Clucks were discussing their usual lunch date. Usually set for Wednesday afternoons, the three ladies would take time out of their busy schedules in order to meet and discuss what was going on in the lives of the three most awesome Muppets ever.

This Wednesday was a special lunch – Piggy had of course told her companions that she had wanted to invite Amanda Cosgrove, the new lady in Scooter’s life, to lunch as soon as she was sure that the two would be spending more than just their professional time together. She had run into trouble with Scooter, who kept blocking her methods, but she was able to get around him and get what she wanted.

Naturally.

Both Janice and Camilla hadn’t had the opportunity to spend time with the Whatnot, either only able to meet her once or just seeing a glimpse of her; the two were of course eager to meet her. This luncheon was not without its hidden motives; the three had designated themselves protectors of Scooter Grosse’s virtues and no mere woman was going to demean his, not unless their names were Camilla, Janice, and Piggy.

It was one thing to ruin the then teenager’s young sensibilities when it was done in good fun, but it was something completely different when some upstart thought they could do it for their own personal gratification. The trio had put the hammer down on several hopefuls at Scooter’s heart, knowing that they weren’t really after the boy’s heart, but his connections or worse, his very innocence.

Two of the three loved Scooter like family and the last one at least liked the boy enough that she didn’t want to see him hurt by the cruel natures of the world.

He was too nice a guy for that.

The guitarist and showchicken had been hearing about Amanda for months now and even they were getting a bit impatient at actually meeting her. The very fact that Piggy, the usual ringleader and ultimate decision maker, was the one vouching for her made meeting the girl even more intriguing.

Piggy never vouched for anyone.

“Like, she must be some chick,” Janice snickered. “You never vouch for anyone, Miss P!”

“Sometimes, Janice dear,” the pig replied. “There is room for a first.”

Camilla clucked a question in suspicious wonderment.

“Miss Amanda does have the Miss Piggy seal of approval.”

“So if she’s got your approval,” Janice asked. “Like, what do you need us for?”

“Janice,” Piggy stated. “Moi is of course always interested to hear what you ladies think about any…outside parties that have a vetted interest in our little go-fer.”

Again, Camilla – usually the more suspicious of the three – spoke, her response shocking even Janice.

“Exactly,” Piggy answered.

“Anything you’ve missed?” the blonde asked. “I don’t think that’s even possible.”

“Even us superwomen miss a detail or two.”

An idea immediately came to the electric guitarist like a blues riff came to her boyfriend the bass player.

“Like whoa,” she said, in a stage whisper. “Does this mean this round three? Like the final round? I mean, she’s seen backstage, she got invited to dinner at the house, and now lunch? How many of Scooter’s girls have ever gotten this far?”

“The answer, darling,” replied the diva. “Is zero. Amanda marks the first and…if I may say, Moi believes her changes are good. Very good.”

[hr]

Lunch time at the theater was equally crazy, with acts either going off to lunch or continuing showing off their acts or showing off their acts while eating lunch.

In the madness of it all was the captain and first mate of the MSS Insanity. Captain Frog and First Mate Grosse had the craziness as they usually did – try to contain as much of it as possible and hope that it wouldn’t spill over in other important things. Currently, Scooter was viewing the schedule of today’s events on his iPad, a gift he gave himself when he had managed to work at Google.

At the time, the search engine company hadn’t gone out into the world of portable devices, still honing its software online. However, once the craze for smartphones and tablets reached a frenzy, like a good Google employee, Scooter took his free smartphone and Chromebook like everyone else did; however, he held on to his iPad. Sure, it wasn’t as fancy as the newest iPads out there, but it did what he needed it to do while working as the stage manager for the Muppets.

There was also talk of him getting his hands on the newest offerings from Google – that of their new line of smartphone and tablets. That, he couldn’t lie, he was looking forward to.

So involved in checking his list for upcoming acts, he nearly missed the sight of his girlfriend coming through the backdoor. Fozzie Bear, the Muppets’ resident comic, saw her first and immediately started in on a new joke he learned; Scooter felt powerless to help her, even if he did think this was one of the bear’s funnier jokes.

Ever since the dinner at Kermit and Piggy’s had morphed from four to eight, Scooter had been extremely cautious of his new squeeze hanging out around the theater. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of her or even his Muppet family, however past experience had taught him the less interaction the better. What Scooter of course failed to comprehend was that Amanda enjoyed spending time at the theater and certainly in speaking to the crazy bunch that her beau spent a lot of his time with.

“Hey you.”

“Hey!” she called, giving Fozzie a friendly pat on the shoulder before entering the hug Scooter had waiting for her.

“Sorry about that.”

“About what?”

“Fozzie,” he whispered. “He can sometimes be…”

“Have you heard his new joke?” she interrupted. “It’s a riot! I hope he plans on doing it for the week’s show.”

“Huh?” he asked, derailed by her enthusiasm. “Um…oh yeah! Fozzie’s joke! Yeah, I did hear it. It’s quite funny; did…did you think it was funny?”

“More like hilarious!”

“Oh good,” he sighed. His smile quickly morphed into confusion. They usually didn’t see each other until dinner on Wednesdays. “What’re you doing here?”

“Here for lunch.”

“We were having lunch today?” he asked, surprised.

The Whatnot stroked his cheek fondly. “As much as I would have loved to have had you for lunch today,” she whispered, seductively, causing a blush to rise on the redhead’s cheeks. “I’m actually here to see Miss Piggy. She invited me to lunch today.”

Anything that had risen during the first statement was quickly replaced with the feelings of a cold shower in triplicate. Did she just say…?

“Piggy?” he sputtered.

“Right.”

“Miss Piggy?”

“That would be her, yes.”

“She invited you to lunch?” Scooter asked, dumbfounded. “Just the two of you?”

“Well, no,” Amanda replied. “She mentioned that Janice and Gonzo’s girlfriend would be there too.”

“And you agreed to that!?”

“Um…” the Whatnot said, hesitantly. “Yes?”

“You can’t go!” the stage manager cried, causing several passerbys to glance their way. “I can’t believe she’d go around my back…unbelievable! How did she even get your number in the first place?”

“Scooter!” Amanda insisted. “We exchanged numbers after you had that accident with the basketball pole! Don’t you remember?”

The assistant’s face scrunched up in a grimace. He vaguely remembered that happening. “Um…” he started. “No, not really. That day’s a little fuzzy…but that doesn’t matter. Amanda, you cannot go.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Scooter exclaimed. “Why!? Because plague and pestilence will only come of it! No, no, sweetheart, you can’t go. In fact, I forbid it; I forbid you to go.”

The very ruckus that the two were causing, or rather that Scooter was causing, had nearly stopped all activity in the backstage area. Janice and Camilla, who had been coming off stage from working on their act with the Mayhem, spotted the two in the midst of what looked like an argument. Piggy, who had been coming down from her dressing room, caught the tail end of the conversation and immediately stopped before leaning casually against the stair railing.

“You forbid me?” Amanda asked, her voice dangerously low. To any other male in the area, that was a sure sign that danger was approaching and the best bet was to back away slowly until things were alright again. Unfortunately, for Scooter – whether it be the new relationship or his learning nothing from watching Kermit and Piggy – continued on as though he wasn’t staring a tiger in the face while waving around a thick piece of choice chuck steak.

“I’m sorry, but it’s for your own good,” he continued. “They’re crazy, you know.”

“Who?”

“All of them!” Scooter cried. “Piggy’s the worst! I can’t let you be exposed to that axis of evil! That…that…unholy trinity of femme fatale masterminds of…of evil!”

“Really.”

“Sweetheart, you don’t understand,” the manager went on, seemingly undeterred. “When the three of them get together, it’s…it’s….evil! An unholy trinity of…womanly evil!”

“Yes, you mentioned that,” Amanda deadpanned. “You probably shouldn’t go around shouting that, at the top of your lungs, and certainly not with them around.”

“Of course I’m not going to do that!” Scooter protested. “I’m not crazy. They’re the crazy ones! Who knows what they would to do to me if they heard!?”

At that moment, Scooter’s brain – or at least some portion of his brain – kicked in to notify him that it was awfully quiet backstage. Taken with the fact that Amanda seemed to have a gleam in her eye suggested that he had dug himself into a hole and that she had probably allowed him to continue that dig.

“They’re right behind me, aren’t they?”

At Amanda’s nod, Scooter turned his head to look behind him. Not only were Janice and Camilla directly behind him, but out of the corner of his eye he noticed that Kermit was shaking his head at him and Floyd was barely containing his laughter.

Turning back towards his, hopefully still, girlfriend, he said, “I take it the pig is somewhere near.”

“Overlooking you, dearheart.”

Scooter nodded, instinctively knowing he was well beyond the normal amounts of trouble for this indiscretion. “How long have they been there?”

“Oh,” Amanda replied. “About the time you called them crazy. Oh and that they were the axis of evil. Oh and that they were an unholy trinity of evil.”

Feeling the plump arm of the leading lady across his shoulders, Scooter closed his eyes. “As head mastermind of the Unholy Trinity,” she began. “Moi is going to first steal that and copyright it and then she’s going to persuade you to consider how you will sleep tonight.”

Kissing him on the cheek, she patted his head. “Such an imagination you have.”

Receiving similar pats from both Janice and Camilla, though the chicken opted to pat his bottom instead, the stage manager was left with his girlfriend. “And…you weren’t planning on telling me they were there?” he asked, meekly.

Patting him on the cheek, she said, “That was forbidding me from going.”

Turning from him, she began to head out the way she came, though now accompanied by three fellow divas. “Which you can clearly see,” she said over her shoulder. “That I’m still going.”

“Yes, I see that,” he muttered. “Don’t come home late! You know how I worry!”

Once the quartet were out the door and out of sight, the slow clap began. Heaving a sigh, Scooter slowly turned to that of the frog, bassist, and the performance artist, who must have made his way over at some point, but who had clearly seen - and enjoyed - the show just like everyone else to stopped to watch.

“Nice going, kid,” Floyd Pepper chuckled. “I ain’t never see anyone get four women mad at them in less than five minutes.”

“I’m a stuntman and daredevil by trade,” the Great Gonzo said. “But I’ve never once put myself in to that kind of danger.”

“You put yourself in danger with Miss Hamhocks all the time!”

“Yeah,” Gonzo amended. “But usually just her. I never add on three extra women for the heck of it.”

“Have I taught you nothing?” Kermit the Frog sighed, shaking his head. “All this time, I thought you had been observant; I have failed you, young pada…paddy…” waving his hand at Scooter, he silently asked for the correct pronunciation.

“Padawan,” the page answered, morosely.

“Right! That! I have failed you, padawan.”

 

[The Count]

* Plays the wah-wah-wah musical sting that accompanies a bad ending on a Bert & Ernie sketch.

*Awards 50 points to Griffindor for each Muppet diva burned in such an epic fail.
And here I thought he was the one who knew not to cross into the danger zone.

Tough brake kid.
Me brake kid!
No Animal! Back! Sit! Heel!
sits down with eyes shut and breathing heavily.
*Tosses Animal a Scooby snack.

Thank you for posting, is there more?

 

[WebMistressGina]

* Plays the wah-wah-wah musical sting that accompanies a bad ending on a Bert & Ernie sketch.

Sometimes I love when my brain hatches up stuff on the fly like that.

And here I thought he was the one who knew not to cross into the danger zone.

Oh no worries! Kermit - and the rest - are gonna school him. But give him a break! This, in my mind, is his first serious relationship based on the fact that Amanda is crazy about him and not...well...we'll let the Unholy Trinity of the Evil Axis explain that.

Now.



Chap III

“I feel like I should be apologizing.”

A chauffeured car ride was not what Amanda had been expecting when she agreed to lunch with the Muppets’ leading lady, the band’s guitarist, and a chicken performer, but that’s what she got. Piggy, who always enjoyed not only arriving in style but leaving in it, always made sure that their entrance to their favorite restaurant was always done in style.

One of the group’s favorite drivers, Howie, was doing the honors of driving them to Très Delight, a quaint little eatery for celebrities that was never too busy and never too crowded with paparazzi.

“How do you apologize for someone else’s behavior?”

Amanda of course had been a bit appalled by the way Scooter had acted moments earlier; previously, he had always been supportive of her and her endeavors, regardless of what they were, so hear him actually use the phrase, ‘I forbid you’ had thrown her through a loop.

And the things he had said about two of the women in his life was even more appalling! Scooter had opened up her, regarding his family and how he had always seen the Muppets as the family he had always wanted, but never got. It hadn’t been that much of a surprise to her; almost immediately, she had seen how he spoke about them and treated them and how they treated him in return.

Every time she had been at the theater, it seemed more like a family gathering spot than that of a workplace. Everyone joked with everyone and no one was ever spared from it. She knew that they must have been treating her with kid gloves, but once she had shown she could run with anything they threw at her, the gloves had been eagerly thrown off.

That was why to hear him call the two people he basically considered to be parent and sibling respectively evil was so…shocking.

“What now?” asked Piggy.

“Scooter!” Amanda exclaimed. “I just can’t believe…that…I don’t even know who that was back there. I’m sure he didn’t mean any of that stuff he said.”

“Like, he meant it alright,” Janice chuckled.

Camilla clucked a response, which made Amanda look at her strangely. “That’s not true,” she said.

“No,” Janice agreed. “She’s right. We’re totally like an axis of evil.”

“Unholy Trinity,” Piggy corrected. “Remember, I copyrighted that.” Speaking to Amanda, she continued, “Camilla is right. Let’s be honest, shall we? You’re a smart girl; you pretty much have an idea why you’ve been invited to lunch.”

The Whatnot nodded. “I’m being put to my paces as Scooter’s girlfriend.”

“Exactly,” the diva nodded, glancing at her other companions. “However, as I was telling these fine ladies earlier this morning, you have managed to do something that the others haven’t done.”

“Oh?”

“Get past round one,” Janice replied.

“You’re kidding,” Amanda said. “I can’t see that. There must have been tons of girls interested in Scooter.”

“Oh, there have been,” Piggy replied, leaning back and opening a soda from the small backseat fridge. “But they’ve never been…too interested in Scooter.”

“Star collectors,” Janice said.

“Money grubbing,” Piggy added.

Camilla put her two cents in, causing the diva to turn and look at her, scandalized.

“Camilla!”

“Well, that last one I get,” the red head nodded. “Scooter’s a pretty sexy guy.”

Both blondes had to shake their heads at that. “He’s like my little brother, chica,” Janice complained. “Scooter and sexy can never enter my vocabulary again in the same sentence.”

“Not to say that we don’t think he’s attractive,” Piggy amended. “Of course, we find Scooter’s personality and charm to be very attractive; unfortunately, for the girls who have also found him attractive, they weren’t exactly looking at his brains, if you get my drift.”

The Whatnot nodded. “Connections.”

“Among other things,” the diva continued. “Scooter is not only a well-connected Muppet, but he’s also a very wealthy Muppet. I’m sure you’re aware, Amanda darling, that our little go-fer not only gets a paycheck from Google, but is also heir to several different offerings.”

Amanda couldn’t help but smile at the diva. “Is this a trap?” she asked, knowingly.

“What?” Piggy asked, clearly doing nothing to hide the obvious fact that, yes she was trying to lure the girl into a trap. “No, of course not.”

“I’m well aware of Scooter’s financial standing,” the Whatnot admitted. “Anyone smart will tell you to look into someone’s background before doing business with them. And I am well aware that you’re an intelligent woman, Miss Piggy, so you know I would have no need for any of his money should I choose.”

The diva smiled in pleasure. She didn’t want to lay out a trap like that, but a few girls had slipped by her in the past; besides, as the Whatnot countered, she was well aware that Amanda would have been just fine financially without Scooter’s help.

“That business degree has obviously done wonders for you.”

“So has the minor.”

“Whatcha minor in?” Janice asked.

“Finance,” answered both Amanda and Camilla. So, Piggy wasn’t the only fact checker in the group. Good to know.

“I’m sorry, dearheart,” Piggy said, genuinely meaning it this time around. “You must understand…”

“You’ll get no arguments from me,” Amanda chuckled. “If a little fact finding and grilling is all I have to face, I’ve come out pretty good. You always watch out for family. Besides, you never saw what my Dad used to do.”

“Pretty protective, huh?” asked the guitarist.

“My Dad’s a former Marine,” the Whatnot replied. “He was the kind of guy who interviewed my dates while cleaning his gun and our Rottie sitting next to him on the floor. I think a guy literally wet himself once.”

“You’re making that up!”

“Am not!” the Whatnot laughed. “Poor guy didn’t talk to me for the rest of high school because of that.”

The rest of the ride continued with funny dating stories that would probably never and would never leave the comfort of the backseat. All the while, Piggy couldn’t help but grin at her compadres.

Point to Amanda.



That's just the first part! Coming up next - lunch! Movie stars! Reporters???