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Sam and Friends BookShirley the Medium
(Starring: Mary Testa as the Voice of Shirley)
(Starring: Mary Testa as the Voice of Shirley)
Episode #: 1
Title: “Pilot Episode”
Original Airdate: 27-Jul-2006
Based on the characters developed by: John R. Dilworth
Written By: D’Snowth
Guest Voices: John R. Dilworth as The Voice of The Director
Guest Stars from Courage the Cowardly Dog: Marty Grabstein as The Voice of Courage, Thea White as The Voice of Muriel, Arthur Anderson as The Voice of Eustace Bagge, and Paul Schoeffler as The Voice of Katz
Commercial Break.
Our story today inside a soundstage, where a bunch of technicians were tearing down the set of one the Channeling Channel’s most successful shows. Off to the side of the studio, the star of that show, Shirley the Medium was arguing with the show’s director.
THE DIRECTOR: ...I keep telling you, the rating’s for this show have gone downhill fast, and have been going downhill all season long!
SHIRLEY: And I suppose you’re going to tell me that’s my fault?
THE DIRECTOR: Well, you’re the one who’s seen on camera, not me!
SHIRLEY: But you’re the one who calls the actions of what I should and should not do.
THE DIRECTOR: Look babe, the television psychics, the psychic hotlines, and all that jazz has been sold out!
SHIRLEY: Well, maybe I can fix that...
THE DIRECTOR: Spare me, what can a pathetic little Chihuahua in drag do about it?
Shirley then pulled out her giant saxophone and began to curse the director.
SHIRLEY: (Blows a few notes) Cheap director of cheap show...(Blows a few notes) You’re no friend, but a foe...(Blows a few notes) Be prepared to ride a Hurst...(Blows a few notes) Because you have just cursed!
With that, Shirley blew one loud final note into the director’s face. His reaction was quick and to the point.
THE DIRECTOR: Security!
With that, Shirley was kicked out of the studio, as the director locked the door behind her.
THE DIRECTOR: What a phony. I mean, EVERYONE knows there’s no such things as curses!
The director’s next step was right in target of a large stage light that broke from it’s bolt age to the rack of lights at the ceiling, and landed right on the director, killing him. Meanwhile, out in the trailer lot beside the studio, Shirley gathered her belonging from her trailer...her only home at that time, loaded them up in a shabby wooden wheel barrel, and moved on. Shirley wandered aimlessly through the desert of Nowhere, Kansas for hours until she came across an abandoned wooden wagon off to the side of the road. After a few moments, a little area in front of the wagon for a campfire, a clock with stars and moons was set up as a curtain in the doorway, and inside the wagon was a large chest, a dusty chandelier, and a small table with a crystal ball. Shirley had moved into her new home. Meanwhile, a couple of miles away, a pink dog by the name of Courage was running frantically through the desert until he slammed into the side of Shirley’s cart. With that, the medium stepped out to find Courage half out of it on the ground and his face flattened.
SHIRLEY: What troubles you dog?
Courage then jumped to his feet and began babbling his troubles to her.
COURAGE: A-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl a-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl! (Transform into Katz) Woof arf ooh ooh ooh! (Transforms into a terrified Muriel) Obidaba obidaba odibaba! (Transforms into a cracked pot) Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Ooo-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl.
SHIRLEY: The stupid one and his wife have been kidnapped by a red cat you say?
COURAGE: Uh-huh!
SHIRLEY: And you’re running through Nowhere looking for help?
COURAGE: Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
SHIRLEY: And where is all of this happening?
Courage started jumping up and down, pulling on his ears, then he picked up Shirley, and ran off, carrying her above his head. Moments later, Courage had brought Shirley to an old abandoned motel.
SHIRLEY: Hmm, charming little place if you’re into “Old World” type of things.
Courage then pointed to the door, jumping up and down.
COURAGE: A-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba ba ba! A-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl a-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!
SHIRLEY: Okay, whatever you say, dog.
With that, Shirley calmly walked into the old abandoned motel, as Courage paused for a moment to nervously shy.
COURAGE: I just know something bad is going to happen, or mine name’s Hoochy Momma! And it’s not!
So with that, Courage waddled in after Shirley. Meanwhile, inside the hotel, screaming could be heard going on. The screaming was coming from one of Courage’s owners: Eustace Bagge.
EUSTACE: WAH!!! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN YOU STUPEED FEELINE!
Eustace was then dropped on the floor next to his wife, Muriel, as a spot light flashed onto them. After their old eyes got adjusted to the brightness, Eustace started griping.
EUSTACE: WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?!
A figure then stepped into the spotlight.
KATZ: I’m Katz. (Sinister giggle)
Muriel and Eustace started screaming, and the screaming was heard down the dark hallway by Shirley and Courage.
COURAGE: Muriel’s in trouble!
SHIRLEY: I know, I heard.
COURAGE: MURIEL! HERE I COME!
With that, Courage began to run down to the light at the end of the hallway, as Shirley calmly followed behind.
Commercial Break.
Courage raced down the hallway, and into was seemed like the lobby. There, he found Muriel and Eustace, tied up and being lowered into a giant pot of boiling oil.
COURAGE: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
MURIEL: COURAGE! HELP!
Katz turned his attention away from the lever he was slowly pulling to lower the two into the soup to see Courage standing in the room with his mouth wide open in horror.
KATZ: No dogs allowed! I detest dogs!
With that, Katz pressed a large button next to the lever, and Courage fell through a trap door just as Shirley finally entered the room.
SHIRLEY: Hmm. What a rather horrible way to go.
Courage fell down a long tunnel until he landed in a pool of evil-smelling blackish water. In the water, Courage found himself the target of the eyes of hungry piranhas.
COURAGE: (Underwater) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
And so began an awkward under chase between Courage and 100,000 hungry piranhas. Meanwhile, up in the lobby...
KATZ: And just who do you think you are?
SHIRLEY: Well, I’m sure not Miss Cleo, that’s for sure.
KATZ: No, you’re a spy! A spy sent to thwart my efforts to boil these two pathetic accuses for human beings alive!
EUSTACE: Stupeed Feeline!
SHIRLEY: I am hardly a spy.
KATZ: What am I wasting my time talking to you for?
Katz then punched another button, and a giant anvil was falling straight for Shirley, but right at the last second, she raised her hands and froze the anvil in mid-air. She then pointed her hands in Katz’s direction, and the anvil went crashing into him and his control booth, and as Katz went down, he jerked the lever with him, and Muriel and Eustace were now hovering over the floor instead of the boiling oil pot.
MURIEL: That certainly is a talented Chihuahua, isn’t it Eustace?
EUSTACE: Blah, blah, blah!
Katz then managed to squeeze his voice out from under the heavy weight of the anvil.
KATZ: (Gasping) I...wish you hadn’t...done that...
SHIRLEY: Spare me.
With that, Shirley made her way over to the control booth, and pressed a small blue button that released Muriel and Eustace from their suspension, causing them to land on the floor. Shirley then walked over to the couple and untied them.
MURIEL: Oh! Why thank you dear!
EUSTACE: Git lost y’stupeed beatnik crone!
SHIRLEY: Watch it, stupid one.
MURIEL: But where’s my Courage?
SHIRLEY: Coming right up.
Shirley then snapped her fingers, and Courage popped up with a piranha hanging onto his ear, and another one holding onto his entire arm.
COURAGE: A-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heeeeeeee...
Shirley snapped her fingers again, making the piranhas disappear.
MURIEL: Oh Courage! So good to see ya!
Muriel walked over to the limp Courage and hugged him.
EUSTACE: Stupeed chewed up dawg!
Katz then managed to work out another sentence.
KATZ: (Gasp) Would someone PLEASE get this heavy object off my body, I am in extreme pain here!
SHIRLEY: Oh, sorry about that.
Shirley snapped her fingers again and made the anvil disappear. Katz then gasped for air.
KATZ: Oh, thank you!
SHIRLEY: No need to thank me, I am not finished yet...
Shirley then raised her hands into the air again, and this time, she wiggled her fingers, and the rope that had Muriel and Eustace tied up slithered over to Katz and began to type him up.
KATZ: Now see here, I order you to stop!
SHIRLEY: Too late.
And finally, Shirley pointed her hands towards the boiling oil pot, and Katz went flying through the air and into the pot.
COURAGE: Phew!
MURIEL: Come on Eustace, let’s go home.
EUSTACE: Darn tootin’!
MURIEL: Thank you again Miss Shirley for saving our lives from that horrible Katz.
EUSTACE: Yeah, yeah! Blah, blah, blah! I’m hungry!
MURIEL: Eustace, don’t be so rude, she did save our lives.
EUSTACE: (With no emotion) Thanks.
With that, the Bagges went on their way home.
SHIRLEY: I wonder if I should turn the bald one into bullfrog or something...
Commercial Break.
THE END
Characters are TM of and (c) Cartoon Network
Characters are TM of and (c) Cartoon Network
