Sesame Street News: The Boy Who Cried Wolf

[minor muppetz]

(the Newsflash logo appears)
Announcer: We interrupt your favorite program to bring you an important news bulletin! Here now is....
(Kermit the Frog suddenly runs up, with the logo as the background)
Kermit: Hi, ho, Kermit the Frog h...
Announcer: You're too early, Mr. Frog.
Kermit: Oops. (goes back)
Announcer: Here is our reporter, Kermit the Frog!
(fade to a herd of sheep)
Kermit: (to somebody off-camera) Well, I didn't know that being too early would make me appear in the logo sequence.... what? (sees camera) Oh, hi, ho, Kermit the Frog here! And today I am interviewing a shepherd who has reported that a wolf has threatened to eat his sheep.
Shepherd: That's right. I am scarred, and I don't want my sheep to be eaten.
Kermit: Well, hopefully my news crew will be brave enough to stop the wolf.
Shepherd: Anyway, would you like to hear my life story?
Kermit: No, I just want to know more about this threat.
Shepherd: Well, the wolf was big and purple and ugly. He told me that he is going to come here at 4:30PM, eastern time, and he is going to eat all 18 of my sheep. Would you like to count...
Kermit: Uh, no I wouldn't. But... wait a minute! Did you say that the wolf was comming at 4:30PM?
Shepherd: Yes.
Kermit: But it is now 6:10PM.
Shepherd: Oops.
Kermit: (scrunches mouth) What do you mean "oops"?
Shepherd: Well, uh, there is no wolf.
Kermit: WHAT?
Shepherd: I lied when I called the news so that I could be on the news. I'm sorry.
Kermit: Well, I hope that you never, ever lie again. (to news crew) Come on!
(Kermit leaves)
Shepherd: Well, I guess I've learned my lesson.
(A purple wolf suddenly appears)
Wolf: Now lsiten up, you shepherd!
Shepherd: Aaah! It's the wolf! It's the wolf!
Wolf: Yeah, I'm A wolf, alright! I will come back at 7:00pm and eat your sheep!
Shepherd: (running after Kermit) Hey, Mr. Frog! There really is a wolf after my sheep now!
(wolf makes evil laughter)

to be continued...

 

[minor muppetz]

(the logo appears again)
Announcer: And now, we interrupt your program to give you another... ugh!... the same news story as earlier.
(scene fades back to Kermit at the medow)
Kermit: (to off-screen news crew) I canot believe that we are doing this story again. He lied last time, how do we know he isn't... what? I don't care if it is a slow news day... oh, I'm on the air? Hi, ho! Kermit the Frog here, (scrunches face) again, (unscrunches face) with another report about a wolf attacking sheep.
Shepherd: Yes, and I am very sorry for that false report earlier.
Kermit: Yes, as you may or may not remember, depending on how often you watch this station, this here shepherd said that a wolf had threatened to eat his sheep, and it turns out that he was lying.
Shepherd: But as soon as you left, it really did happen.
Kermit: (disbelieving the shepherd) Right, and the only reason I'm doing another report on you is because there is nothing else to report on, and because your flock is one of our sponsors.
Sherpherd: Anyway, this time the wolf told me that he would come here at seven.
Kermit: Right, right. (looks off-screen) But according to that clock over there, it will be seven in thirty seconds.
Shepherd: Oh, okay. Let's count down the seconds.
Kermit: Okay, but with our recent talking it's probably less seconds now.
Shepherd: How many seconds do you think it will be?
Kermit: Well, if we start counting as soon as I stop talking it will be twenty seconds.
Kermit and Shepherd: 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
(an hour chime rings)
Kermit: Well, it is now seven o'clock, and the wolf should be here.
Shepherd: Yeah!
(they wait for a few seconds)
Kermit: Where is the wolf?
Shepherd: Gee, I don't...
Kermit: I knew it! You loied again!
Shepherd: No, honestly, I...
Kermit: This is Kermit the Frog reporting. (scrunches mouth and leaves)
Shepherd: But I was no...
(the wolf finally shows up, stopping them from leaving)
Kermit: Oh, you... you are a wolf..
Wolf: That's right!
Kermit: And you really are here.
Wolf: Of course. (to the shepherd) I am sorry that I am late.
Kermit: (to shepherd) And I am sorry for not believing you. (to the wolf) Now, wolf, why do you want to eat his sheep?
Shepherd: Yeah!
Wolf: Well, I am hungry.
Shepherd: Why don't you eat something else?
Kermit: Yeah, why not vegetables?
Wolf: Because vegetables give me gas, fruits make me naucious, and it seems like somebody keeps eating all of the tows cookies before I can.
Kermit: Oh, so you are going to eat the sh....
(the wolf starts laughing)
Shepherd: What is so funny?
Wolf: Oh, I can't hold it in anymore! I am not really going to eat your sheep!
Shepherd: You're not?
Wolf: No, I only said I would so that I could be on Sesame Street News! (laughs some more) Why do you think I waited to eat the sheep? Why do you think I told you what time I would eat your sheep at?
Kermit: (scrunches face) Why do we get such horrible news stories? Anyway, this is Kermit the Frog, returning you tro your regularly scheduled program...