Scooter's Story

[Super Scooter]

SCENE 7

EXT. STREET

SCOOTER is walking along, humming to himself.

SCOOTER: La la la la la la la! Boy, this is great! Off on my own to find my future! ... Wait a minute... on my own?

The ELECTRIC MAYHEM bus pulls up next to him. FLOYD peeks his head out a window.

FLOYD: Hey, you forgettin' somethin'?

SCOOTER: ... Oh, you're right! I left my underwear bag!

FLOYD: Naw, man! You forgot... You need a whole bag for just you tighty-whiteys?

SCOOTER: Well, I wasn't sure how long I'd be away from a washing machine.

DR. TEETH: Too true, too true.

FLOYD: Naw, some cat told us you was plannin' on joinin' us on our concert tour! We don't need any other musicians, but we could sure use a road manager. We know you know how to do the job.

SCOOTER: Well, sure!

FLOYD: Hop aboard the rollin' hall of musical fame!

SCOOTER: Gee, thanks!

SCOOTER enters the bus.

FLOYD: Whatever you do, just don't---

We hear SCOOTER scream.

FLOYD: --- don't sit next to Animal.

ANIMAL: Ahh! Fresh meat!

JANICE: Like, we go through more road managers that way.

SCOOTER: (dizzily standing up inside the bus) Oh, that's all right. I'm fine!

SCOOTER passes out.

DR. TEETH: All right, sit down and buckle up! Next stop: Who knows!

 

[Super Scooter]

I... am soooooooooo stuck...

 

[theprawncracker]

Oh but it's sooooooooo good SS! Fozzie was AWESOME during the party! And Floyd was perfect!! Of course there's really no need to mention that you've got Johnny and Sal down to a T, cause you do!! It's really really awesome, can't wait for more.

 

[Super Scooter]

Thanks.

I know where the story is going, I just don't know how to get there from here.

I really wanted to give Fozzie a big part during that scene. It just seemed to me as though Kermit would might be more fitting, but it didn't make any sense since Kermit didn't even know the party was going on.

That, and the constant Fozzie/Scooter bits are sort of based on a quote from the book Of Muppets and Men.

 

[theprawncracker]

I know where the story is going, I just don't know how to get there from here.

Oh, I hate it when that happens...I'm actually going through that right now in my fan-fic "Don't Trip the Driver," I know where I want the story to go, I just don't know how to build the bridge to get it there.

 

[Super Scooter]

I don't have any problem getting over the bridge. It's getting the Electric Mayhem bus across (I think the bridge was made for small beasts of burden)

 

[ryhoyarbie]

DR. TEETH: All right, sit down and buckle up! Next stop: Who knows!

That had me laughing. Dr. Teeth has no idea where he and the rest of the band are going. For all he knows, the band might end up in a town called "I Scratch Your Back, You Marry My Daughter" town.

Pssssssss..............Get Zoot to say some stuff man. It's like he's part of the band but can't say anything. Er wait, he's like that all the time. You know what I mean!

 

[Super Scooter]

Pssssssss..............Get Zoot to say some stuff man. It's like he's part of the band but can't say anything. Er wait, he's like that all the time. You know what I mean!

The story's not over yet. I got some big plans for Zoot.

Unfortunately, though, one of my ideas for this story was used in "The Muppets Vs. Las Vegas" (yes, I've been thinking of this THAT long). So, I'm trying to figure out just how to work through that without needing that part of the story.

 

[Super Scooter]

As I write this story, I can't help but notice another storyline that has emerged unintentionally...

I didn't realive it before, but the story of Scooter's leaving could be easily compared to the passing of Richard Hunt. That is, how did the Muppeteers and others who knew and worked with him react and cope? How would the Muppets deal with the (although not permenant) loss of an important member of their troupe? It's easy to overlook just how important Scooter was to The Muppet Show, but he was a vital part, in my opinion, of the show. In realizing this, and in reevaluating my approach to the story, it has revitalized, in a sense, my interest in the story, and has loosened my writer's block.

It reminds me of a nice little scene I wrote for the fan-fic "The Muppets Vs. Las Vegas" where Kermit takes a moment to discuss matters with Rowlf. In the scene, Rowlf has just returned from vacation, and is on the roof, gazing out at the stars. As Kermit leaves the scene, he says to Rowlf: "It's good to have you back." It's meant to not simply be Kermit welcoming back Rowlf, but the entire Muppet Community welcoming back a beloved character, an old friend, and, perhaps, a piece of Jim we feared we had lost.

I do not intend to lose sight of the fact that Scooter is the main character. However, I do intend to examine this new development further as the story progresses, as I can't help but feel intruiged by the idea.

... with that, I would like to conclude this segment of my own shameless self-promotion.

 

[Super Scooter]

I wasn't sure whether or not to actually include this scene, but, I figured the older Muppets are filled with sick humor and dismemberments and stuff like that.

If anyone feels it out of place, let me know, I have another idea that could easily replace it:

SCENE 8

INT. LEPER COLONY

The MUPPET LEPERS have gathered, and they're having a party! Mostly Whatnot and anything Muppets that have been completely put together, although a few could be made to accomodate the scene.

There is a sign hanging that reads: "Welcome to the party at the leper colony! Please check your hats, coats, and desired body parts at the door."

SCOOTER and THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM are there. SCOOTER takes a quick look around.

SCOOTER: Rock stars play at leper colonies?

FLOYD: Hey, man! Ya gotta play where the gigs is at!

DR. TEETH: We had our choice between lepers and leopards, and we decided to take our chances.

FLOYD: Unfortunately, the leopards didn't like our kind o' music too much.

A LEPER walks past.

LEPER#1: Unclean! Unclean!

ANIMAL: Unclean! Unclean! Take bath! Go home!

LEPER#1: Well, that is very insensitive!

ANIMAL: So-rry!

The LEPER continues on.

SCOOTER: Okay, so what's your playlist?

DR. TEETH: Playlist? Who said anything about a playlist?

FLOYD: Playlists are for the brds, the Styx, and squares, man!

JANICE: Like, you especially don't need a playlist when you're playing back up fer someone.

SCOOTER: Back up?

FLOYD: (to JANICE) Cool it, honey bunches!

SCOOTER: We're playing back up for someone?

FLOYD: Well, it's not as bad as it sounds.

DR. TEETH: Yeah, we could be unemployed.

ANIMAL: Un-em-ployed! RAH!

ZOOT nods in agreement. (editor's note: See? Big things for Zoot already!)

SCOOTER: Well, okay, then. I guess it's cool and all.

FLOYD: See that? The kid's learning quick!

SCOOTER: So, who are we playing for?

---

LATER, once the band has set up all their equipment and are in position to play (SCOOTER is off to the side watching), WEIRD AL enters!

WEIRD AL: Hey, hey, hey! Are you ready to rock and roll???

There is mized reactions from the LEPERS.

WEIRD AL: ... Well, okay! We're gonna start things off with a little number for all of you... hit it!

The band begins to play, starting with a brief drum solo from ANIMAL.

As the song, progresses, WEIRD AL and the various MUPPETS might act out certain parts of the song.

WEIRD AL:

(sung)

Finger food and an ice cold keg.
It won't cost you an arm and a leg.
Dance all night to a rotten band.

FLOYD: Hey, man! We resemble that remark!

DR. TEETH: Yeah, so don't he!

WEIRD AL:

Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand!
Saturday night it's the place to be!
Everybody cut footloose with me
At the party at the leper colony.

ALL:

Oh, there's a party at the leper colony!

WEIRD AL: Hey!

Met a little lady so pretty and young.
She was quite a talker till the cat got her tongue.
She oozed up beside me. I turned on my charm.
Well, pretty soon, she was completely disarmed.
I said, "Girl, now don't fall to pieces on me,"
But she cried her eyes out, literally
At the party at the leper colony.

ALL:

Oh, there's a party at the leper colony!

WEIRD AL: Hey! Hey!

Hey now, buddy, don't you give me no lip!
Sorry I was usin' your head for dip.
There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who.
Wait a minute, it looks like Stu!

STU: Stu!

WEIRD AL:

Well, hold the phone now, what do I see?
Another pretty mama got her eye on me
At the party a the leper colony.

ALL:

Oh, there's a party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
A party at the leper colony!
Hey!

As the song ends, WEIRD AL falls over.

ZOOT: ... Inappropriate, man.

ANIMAL: Distaste! Distaste!

SCOOTER: Boy, that was one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. And we're the Muppets!

FLOYD: Yeah, we better get outta here, quick. The board o' health and the board o' lepers rights will be here any minute, and, trust me, we don't wanna deal with either o' them!