Scooby-Doo Meets the Muppet Babies!

[wiley207]

The first entry of a series I plan on doing. This is a variation of the 1969 "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?" episode "Mine Your Own Business," with the Muppet Babies appearing alongside the Scooby-Doo gang. I didn't do the whole episode, but I did some of the funniest scenes. Some of the Muppet Babies gags come from "Water Babies" (including the train gag) and "Is There A Muppet In the House?" Well, here it is...

SCOOBY-DOO, WHERE ARE YOU?
And JIM HENSON’S MUPPET BABIES

In: “MINE YOUR OWN BUSINESS”

We start on Gold City, an old abandoned town. There is a thunderstorm brewing, with lightning flashing and loud thunder crackling. A buzzard squawks several times, and then we pan to another part of the town, where a creepy old man with a beard and a brown hat pulled low over his face walks around.

The Mystery Machine is driving near Ghost City. Fred is behind the wheel, and with him are Daphne, Velma, Scooby-Doo, Baby Kermit, Baby Piggy, Baby Fozzie, Baby Gonzo, Baby Animal, Baby Rowlf, Baby Scooter, Baby Skeeter and Shaggy, trying to read a map. The storm continues brewing.

Baby Fozzie: It sure is dark in here!

Fred: Are you sure we took the right turn, Shaggy?

Shaggy: Sure! We took this road, and turned to the right.

Velma: No wonder we’re lost. You’ve been reading the map upside-down!

The sound of an audience laughing is heard, as Velma turns the map right-side up.

Baby Gonzo: Where’s that laugh track coming from?

Daphne: Explain again why we had to take the Muppet Babies with us on this one?

Fred: Nanny expects us to care for them while she’s out at Bingo. And besides, if we run in another mystery, they make great assistants. We also get paid a little extra for watching the babies.

Velma: (points to the map) Here’s where we are… at Gold City, the old ghost town.

Shaggy: Ghost town!

Scooby: Rhost rown?

Baby Fozzie: G-g-ghost town?

Baby Piggy: Relax, Fozzie! There is no such thing as ghosts!

Daphne: What’ll we do now?

At Gold City, thunder crashes as a buzzard squawks at them. We see stock footage of live-action buzzards as well. They all look, and Scooby and Baby Fozzie gulp.

Fred: Hey, what’s that over there?

They come up to the Gold City Guest Ranch. A vacancy sign hangs underneath. More lightning flashes.

Velma: “Gold City Guest Ranch – Vacancy.”

Fred: Well maybe we can spend the night there.

Baby Kermit: Yeah! Nanny doesn’t want us out in the rain.

Baby Rowlf: But it’s not raining right now.

Baby Kermit: Then why is there thunder and lightning?

Baby Fozzie: (nervous) You mean… we’re going to stay at that spooky ranch there?

Scooby: There?

Fred and Baby Piggy: Yes, there.

Scooby: Uh-uh!

Baby Fozzie: Go on without me! I’m too scared!

Then they come up to the ranch.

Fred: Go ahead. Ring the bell, Shaggy.

Shaggy: Ring-a-ding-ding, coming up! (does so)

Baby Gonzo: And I’ll give them a super patented Gonzo-knock! (knocks “Shave and a Haircut” on the door)

Baby Piggy: (honks Gonzo’s nose) Gonzo!

The door opens to reveal a big friendly man with red hair.

Big Ben: Welcome, kids. Come on in. I’m Big Ben, owner of this guest ranch.

Baby Kermit: But I thought Big Ben was a clock in London?

Fred: Do you happen to have any rooms for the night?

Baby Piggy: And a room for my friends and moi?

Big Ben: Do I? You’re my only guests! Come on in and register, and I’ll call in old Hank. Hank? Oh, Hank! We have some guests.

Scooby-Doo and Baby Gonzo go over to a mousetrap near a mouse hole. Scooby grabs the cheese and eats it. Baby Gonzo laughs at Scooby, until a cartoonish-looking mouse comes out of the hole and chitters angrily at him. Stock footage of a live-action mouse appears as well.

Baby Gonzo: (to the mouse) Hey, do you know Mickey Mouse?

Shaggy: (calling off-screen) Hey, Scooby, come here.

Baby Kermit: (also off-screen) You too, Gonzo!

They go back with the gang.

We see the group with Big Ben and an old man named Hank.

Big Ben: Now this is Hank, the caretaker here at the ranch.

Hank: Pleased to meet you.

Big Ben: Hank, show the guests, that is, the kids, babies and dogs to their rooms like a good feller.

Hank: Follow me.

Now they are in a corridor, with various rooms.

Hank: That will be the girls’ room, here’s a room for the young ones right next door, and you fellas can bunk in this one just across the hall.

Daphne: These sure are nice rooms.

Baby Scooter: But there are no electrical sockets to plug in my computer!

Velma: I can’t understand why the place is empty.

Hank: It’s the miner.

Fred and Shaggy: The miner?

All Babies: The what?

Scooby: Who?

Hank: The Miner ‘49er.

Daphne and Velma: (now Velma has lipstick on) ‘49er?

Baby Skeeter: Where did Velma get the lipstick? I mean, Miner ‘49er?

Hank: Yesiree. He came to Gold City in 1849, and he can’t rest until he finds the last vein of gold.

Fred: 1849?

Baby Fozzie: That’s over a hundred thousand years ago! Did they have dinosaurs back then? Wocka-wocka!

Shaggy: Fozzie! (to Hank) Like, wow, that’s what I call an ancient miner.

Hank: That’s for sure. And at night, you can hear the mine moaning, calling for the miner.

Scooby: Ruh-uh, RUH-UH.

Baby Piggy: I hope that mine will be quiet tonight. I need my beauty sleep!

Velma: But what has he got to do with the ranch?

...

After hearing Hank's story, the gang decided to go investigate and explore the town. Despite Fozzie's wishes, they had to bring the babies with them as well. The first stop was an old Western saloon that was really dusty...

At an old-time Western saloon that is abandoned, Shaggy and Scooby and Baby Fozzie are at the counter.

Shaggy: Sarsaparilla, bartender!

Scooby: Two!

Baby Fozzie: And I’ll have apple juice!

The Miner ‘49er’s hands push three mugs over to the threesome. Inside the mugs are cobwebs.

Shaggy: No wonder this place is empty. You ask for a sarsaparilla or apple juice, and all you get is a glass of spider webs.

Shaggy, Scooby, Baby Fozzie: SPIDER WEBS?

Suddenly a player piano on a stage activates and begins playing a spooky version of “My Darling Clementine.”

Shaggy: (holding Scooby and Fozzie) Zoinks! Ghosts!

Scooby: Rhosts?

Baby Fozzie: Ghosts? Uh-oh!

They all yelp and run off. Velma stands on the stage near the piano.

Velma: It’s not a ghost. It’s a player piano.

Baby Rowlf: Hey, a player piano! I never saw one of those before. Far out!

Shaggy: (he and Scooby and Fozzie hang on a curtain) So who’s playing it?

Velma: It’s automatic. It must have turned itself on automatically.

Baby Rowlf: Right. You use a paper with holes in it, and the holes work like the grooves on a record, letting the piano read the holes and pound out the notes!

Velma: (shuts off the piano) Now come down out of those draperies.

We hear Baby Fozzie scream, and then a crash follows.

Shaggy: (as Scooby lies on him) Like, why couldn’t you have been a poodle?

Baby Fozzie: Hey, I got a joke about player pianos!

Scooby: Ruh-uh! (clamps his paws on Fozzie’s mouth)

...

After exploring there a bit, the Muppet Babies and Scooby Gang all went over to an old hotel, and did some more investigating. Then Scooby and Baby Piggy were checking themselves in the mirror, but when they turned away, they were staring into the face of the Miner '49er in the mirror! This gave way to another chase...

Scooby-Doo and Baby Piggy are now running in horror in an old hotel from the Miner ‘49er. Scooby snatches onto a curtain, which grabs an old cigar store Indian statue, and begins dragging it along.

Shaggy: Zoinks! The Miner’s chasing Scooby and Baby Piggy!

Baby Gonzo: (swings on a rope) I will save you, my darling Piggy-tine!

Baby Gonzo grabs onto the Indian statue, but then Scooby and Piggy and Gonzo and the Indian crash into something offscreen.
The Mystery Inc. humans and Baby Kermit and Skeeter and Animal lie near the now-broken Indian statue. Baby Gonzo pokes from inside the Indian.

Velma: Some miner. It’s only a cigar store Indian.

Baby Animal: Cigar-smoking dangerous! Yababababababa!

Scooby pulls the Indian’s head off of his own head like a mask. Baby Piggy dusts off her dress.

Daphne: Oh, Scooby, quit clowning.

Scooby: Who’s rowning?

Baby Piggy: Not moi!

...

Inside the Indian, there was a map of the town, with a safe combination on it for some reason. They went over to the hotel safe, and opened it to reveal an old elevator...

Eerybody except Baby Fozzie and Scooby-Doo gets on the elevator.

Fred: Come on, Scooby.

Baby Kermit: Yeah! You too, Fozzie!

Scooby: Ruh-uh. UH-uh!

Fred: Come on, Scooby. You’re not chicken.

As farm music plays, both Scooby and Fozzie strut back and forth waving their arms like wings and clucking like chickens.

Baby Gonzo: I’ve heard you make so many jokes about chickens, Fozzie, but I never saw you act like one before!

Daphne: Would you come with us for a Scooby Snack?

Scooby: Hmm… roo?

Daphne: OK, two it is.

Baby Fozzie: What about me?

Baby Piggy: You get in, Fozzie, or I knock your block off!

Fred: Well, come on.

Scooby babbles something unintelligible, and then Fred tosses him the two Scooby Snacks, which he instantly gobbles up.

Scooby: Scooby-Doo! (he and Fozzie run into the elevator) Ruff!

Baby Fozzie: Going down!

The elevator begins to go down, and a few seconds later…

Baby Scooter: Look out! We’re going to…

A loud crash is heard as the elevator stops on the bottom.

Baby Scooter: …crash.

The elevator has landed in a mine now.

Fred: Wow… look where we landed.

Daphne: A mine tunnel.

Baby Kermit: Pretty dark. Flashlights out! (Kermit and Skeeter get out flashlights and turn them on)

Velma: It must be the old Gold City mine.

Fred: Well, if there IS a miner, this is where we’ll find him. Come on.

The Miner walks by a door, and the group tries to walk along.

Baby Rowlf: Aren’t there usually monsters in a mine?

Baby Animal: Monster! Monster! Yababababababa!

Baby Skeeter: Besides, I’m the best explorer in all the nursery, and I will lead us on this expedition.

Fred: No, Skeeter, I’m older than you, so I lead.

Daphne: It’s sure dark in here.

Baby Piggy: Brother. How are we ever gonna find the so-called “Miner”, if we can’t even find the tracks?

Fred: You’ve got a point, Piggy. We could use some light. Those two flashlights aren’t enough.

Shaggy: (holding sticks of dynamite) Hey, I found some CANDLES! (lights them, but the fuses sizzle)

Velma: Shaggy, that’s dynamite!

Shaggy: D-D-D-D-D-DYNAMITE? (tries to blow out the fuses)

Baby Gonzo: Oh boy, there’s gonna be a big explosion!

Shaggy tosses back the sticks behind them, and they blow up. The mine shakes as Shaggy and Scooby cover their ears.

All Babies: WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Shaggy and Scooby: (to each other) Sssssssh!

...

They found lanterns still lit in the mine, and did more searching. Fred only found a bag of flour (which gets all over himself), and Scooby and Shaggy and Fozzie and Gonzo found the Miner '49er and went through various doors trying to avoid him. They even chased on a mine cart and on some barrels before crashing. And they found out the moaning is coming from a set of speakers on the mine. And they followed the wire....

Now the Mystery Inc. gang and Muppet Babies stand near a tape recorder and microphone and two jars of a brown liquid.

Velma: I was right. A tape recorder.

Fred: Well, that accounts for the mysterious moaning.

Shaggy: (opens a jar) Hey, look what I found! Like jars of chocolate syrup!

Scooby: (smacks his tongue) Huh?

Fred: Chocolate syrup, NOTHING. That’s samples of crude oil.

Daphne: Oil? In a gold mine?

Baby Animal: (licking some oil) Good oil! Yabababababababa!

Fred: Hey! This mystery is really getting mysterious.

Velma: And what about our mysterious miner?

Fred: I’ve got a hunch he’ll show up soon. The babies go look through the mine for the Miner.

Baby Skeeter: One of these directions will lead us to the Miner. I will go this way. You guys wait here! (goes to the tunnel on the right)

Baby Animal: (follows Skeeter) Me go! Me go! Yabababababababa!

Baby Gonzo: (goes to the tunnel on the left) And I’m gonna go this way!

Baby Kermit: Gonzo! Skeeter and Fred said to wait here.

Baby Gonzo: Don’t worry! I’ll be right back!

Fred: And the rest of us, let’s borrow this microphone… and Shaggy, we’ll need you too.

Baby Gonzo walks past a speaker in the tunnel, and he doesn’t notice the Miner ‘49er near him. A chugging sound begins, coming form the speaker.

Baby Gonzo: Heh-heh! Fortunately, I learned how to take care of myself in Weirdo Scouts.

Then he and the Miner turn back to the source of the noise, and then a train horn-like noise is heard

Voice: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

A flashing light can be seen off in the distance.

Baby Gonzo: Oh boy! I also learned WHEN TO RUN! (he and the Miner take off)

We see that the light is really from Scooby pushing some kind of cart down the tracks as the wheels make a slight squeaking sound, on top of the cart is a flashlight and underneath is a speaker. Back at the tape recorder, Shaggy is making “choo-choo train” noises into the microphone.

Shaggy: Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug NNNNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Velma: (she and Daphne watch from behind a rock) Listen to that Shaggy go!

Daphne: And Scooby’s great at being a train.

Scooby begins pushing the light-and-speaker cart down the rails, as he chases the Miner and Gonzo with it.

Shaggy: NNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNN! Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug…

Baby Gonzo: I hate trains coming at me in dark tunnels!

Shaggy: …chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug…

Scooby’s “train” continues chasing Gonzo and the Miner ‘49er, and we see a live stock footage clip of a train going through a tunnel. Then the Miner runs into a tool shed, and Fred slams the door.

Shaggy: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Baby Gonzo stops short, and Fred locks the door.

Baby Gonzo: Oh no1 A dead end!

Fred: Got him! (the light gets brighter)

Shaggy: Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug…

Fred: Oh no! Scooby can’t stop!

Baby Gonzo: What Scooby?

The “train” begins careening towards Fred and Gonzo.

Shaggy: …chug-chug-chug-chug! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Baby Gonzo: AAAAH! AAAAAH! AAAAAAH!

He and Fred run off and hide, and then Scooby and his cart crash into the tool shed. Then Shaggy and Baby Kermit and Scooter and Piggy run up.

Shaggy: (normal voice) Like, what’s the matter, Gonzo?

Baby Gonzo: (shivering) Shaggy! You’re not a train!

Baby Kermit: Whew. That’s a load off my mind.

Baby Gonzo: HUH?

Baby Kermit: It looks like we got the Miner ‘49er. And we thought we heard you scream!

Baby Gonzo: Who-who me? (laughs nervously) Uh, why would I scream?

Baby Kermit: Well, anyway, let’s go see the crash site and see if we really did get the ghost.

Over at the rocks from a distance away, Daphne and Velma and the other babies stand there.

Daphne: Scooby went right through the shack. He’s got him!

Velma: I hope.

They all walk over to the tunnel, and see the Miner ‘49er hanging on for dear life from the end of the broken shed.

Fred: Hey, that’s got to be the miner.

Daphne: But where’s Scooby?

Baby Fozzie: Look down there!

Scooby-Doo is hanging onto the Miner’s boots.

Scooby: Yow! Relp!

The boots slip right off the Miner’s feet, revealing stilts underneath, tied onto small black shoes. Scooby falls to the ground, and has a safe landing, holding onto the boots.

Shaggy: Look! Stilts!

Baby Rowlf: Like circus stilts!

Velma: Shaggy and Rowlf are right! He IS wearing stilts.

Fred: Then this can only be one person… (removes the hat and beard from the Miner, revealing…) Hank!

Daphne, Velma, Baby Gonzo: HANK?

Baby Kermit: And I thought Big Ben did it!

Hank: Aw, dagnabit!

Baby Animal: Wacky word! Yabababababababa!

Now we fade to the gang standing with Hank. Nanny enters, her face obscured by shopping bags.

Nanny: Hi, kids!

All babies: Hi, Nanny!

Nanny: What’s going on, kids?

Baby Kermit: We caught another ghostly villain!

Baby Scooter: Ssh, here comes the explanation!

Big Ben: So it was old Hank who was scaring off my guests.

Fred: To force you out of business.

Velma: That way, he could buy the guest ranch, the ghost town…

Shaggy: …and, like, the mine for almost nothing!

Big Ben: Then there must still be gold in that old mine.

Daphne: Not gold, BLACK gold.

Big Ben: You mean OIL?

Shaggy: Like, right!

Baby Animal: Oil! Yababababababa!

Shaggy: Like, right!

Scooby slurps his tongue and sees something offscreen and walks off. Baby Animal follows. They come up to an apple orchard, with the stilts lying nearby.

Big Ben: But how did Hank know about the oil?

Daphne: He accidentally found the secret mine entrance…

Baby Kermit: Right in the old hotel safe!

Velma: And instead of gold, he found oil.

Fred: He had the exact location laid out on a map.

Shaggy: Then, he like, hid the map in the cigar store Indian for safekeeping!

Big Ben: Too bad. We could’ve been partners.

Fred: Now instead of being rich, he’s in jail.

Baby Skeeter: For breaking into the mine and trespassing!

Shaggy: Hey, like, what happened to Scooby?

Baby Rowlf: And where’s Animal?

Scooby-Doo is standing on the stilts, using them to pick apples. Baby Animal clutches onto Scooby’s back,

Daphne: There they are.

Fred: Scooby! Look out for that gopher hole!

The stilt hits the hole, and Scooby and Animal wobble and fall into a water tub, dropping the apples.

Scooby: Scooby-DOO!

Shaggy: Like, one of those apples better be for me.

Scooby: Ee-HEE-hee-hee-hee Hee-hee!

Baby Animal: Go bye-bye! Yabababababababa!

END


...Pretty cool, huh?