"A date?"
"Yes, a date!"
"I knew we forgot something!"
Kermit tried to pretend that the floor of the Muppet Boarding House living room wasn't shaking. Miss Piggy tossed her golden locks of hair behind her head as she looked up at Kermit from her most recent exercise venture; doing sit-ups while reading a magazine Bean Bunny held in front of her.
Kermit smiled as he watched Piggy move up and down in her sparkling designer workout suit. Her curves were especially curvy when she--
Kermit cleared his throat at an attempt to clear his mind. "Anyway Piggy I just thought we might need to get a date set soon so I can tell everyone on Sesame Street, everyone in the swamp, and well..."
"Everyone?" Bean Bunny answered.
"Yeah, them," Kermit said.
Piggy did another sit-up, "Page!" she shouted as Bean fumbled to turn to the next advertisement. "Oh Kermie, moi agrees with vous of course dear," she said to her frog in between each sit-up. "But does it have to be now that we pick a date? Moi happens to be a little preoccupado dear."
"Yes, I can see that," Kermit said as he leaned against the maroon armchair.
"Well then scram, will ya?" she asked angrily. "I hate it when people watch me exercise!"
Kermit smiled. "Alright Piggy, good luck," he said as he began to head towards the kitchen.
"Kermie?" she called to him sweetly.
Kermit turned around. "Yes?"
"I love you."
Kermit blushed happily. "I love you too Piggy."
"Yes, I know," Piggy said smugly.
Kermit smirked and continued his walk to the kitchen, ducking under an oncoming boomerang fish.
"Psst, Kermit," a timid voice whispered to the frog.
Kermit looked around the dining room. "Oh come on, don't tell me the walls talk now too," he said.
"No, not the walls, the bear," said the voice again.
Kermit looked around again. "Fozzie, where are you?"
"Down here," the voice said, putting a face to itself as Fozzie Bear poked his furry brown face out from underneath the tablecloth of the incredibly long dining room table.
Kermit bent down. "Fozzie what are you doing down there?" Kermit asked.
"Scraping the underbelly of the table for jokes," Fozzie said.
"Why on earth would you be doing that?" Kermit asked.
"I got tired of scraping the bottom of the barrel," Fozzie said plainly.
Kermit smirked. "Was that supposed to make me laugh?"
"I don't really know," Fozzie said.
"Did you need something?" Kermit asked.
"Oh, oh, yeah!" Fozzie said, crawling out from under the table. "I--uh, well, I needed to ask you something."
"No Fozzie," Kermit said, "I did not cut your act from this week's show."
"Ahh! That's great!" Fozzie said. "But not what I wanted to ask you about."
"Well I'm listening," Kermit said.
"Am I invited to the wedding?" Fozzie asked sheepishly.
Kermit scrunched up his face. "Fozzie! Of course you're invited!" the frog said. "You're my best man!"
Fozzie gasped. "I--I am?" Fozzie asked, shocked by this new development.
"Of course you are," Kermit said. "Who else would I ask to be my best man, you're my best friend!"
"Well you're always passing notes to Scooter," Fozzie said. "I thought maybe you were going to ask him."
"Fozzie," Kermit chided the bear gently. "I pass Scooter notes to tell him to get things done around the theater. You're my one and only best friend."
"You mean it?" Fozzie asked happily. "Oh Kermit, thank you!" Fozzie said, pulling Kermit into a hug and jumping up and down. "You won't regret this, I promise!"
"I know I won't," Kermit squeaked form inside the bear hug. "Can you put me down now?"
Fozzie quickly did as he was asked and Kermit gained air back into his froggy lungs. "Thank you. Now c'mon," Kermit said, "I need to go find Gonzo and Rowlf to ask them if they want to be in the wedding party too."
Fozzie gasped. "Neither of them are your best man too, are they?"
Kermit scrunched up his face. "Fozzie!"
Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
After graduation on Sunday, I will officially be a University of Pittsburgh Alumni!
But soon there will be another installment!