Oscar and the cleaning supply sale

[minor muppetz]

(Oscar the Grouch is walking on a street in foggy weather)
Oscar: Ah, what a beautiful day! I like the fog. (thunder strikes) And it sounds like it is going to rain soon.
(Lefty walks up to Oscar)
Lefty: Psst! Hey, bud...
Oscar: (shouting) I'm not your bud!
(Lefty makes a Shhhh noise)
Oscar: Don't tell me to Shhhh.
Lefty: Shhh....
Oscat: SHUT UP!!!!
Lefty: (annoyed) Fine! Fine! Anyway, would you like to buy this here cleaning kit?
Oscar: Cleaning kit?
(Lefty shows Oscar a cart with some cleaning supplies)
Lefty: Of course. I'm selling cleaning supplies. You can use it to clean your home.
Oscar: But I don't want....
Lefty: This here is a sponge. It can be used to scrub your floor.
Oscar: I KNOW That, but I DON't WANT IT....
Lefty: And this is a broom, you can sweep dust with it, and this here is a dust pan, to put the dust in it.
Oscar: I KNOW, GET Lo.......
Left: And this, this is a mop, and for no extra money I'll throw in a mop bcket. And finally...
Oscar: You'll get lost?
Lefty: ...I'll sell you this here vacume cleaner, good for vacumming your home. hat do you say, will you buy this home cleanning kit for a quarter?
Oscar: NO!
Lefty: No? But... but it will clean your home! Don't you want a clean home?
Oscar: NO!
Lefty: Ssshhhh!!! Where do you live, in atrash can?
Oscar: Of course I do, I'm a grouch,a dn grouches don't like clean homes!
Lefty: So in other words I wasted my time?
Oscar: Precisely!
Lefty: Oh, darn it! (kicks the cart in anger) I really hat eyou.
Oscar: Thanks!
(the kart starts to move away, partly because Lefty kicked it, and partly because of the wind)
Lefty: (noticing that the cart is moving away) Oh, no! My supplies!
(the sound of a car running over it is heard)
Lefty: Oh, no! Now it's all ruined! (starts to cry)
Oscar: It's ruined? How much did you say it was again?

 

[Princeton]

Not half bad, says I!