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P
Princeton
Guest
No Day But Today- Episode 6
Airdate- 3-11-06
Written and Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin'
Kimp the Shrimp as Butcher DeBaker
G-MAN as Colby
Open on the Turquoise Parrot. Princeton is interviewing people to be the new chef. Finally, the last person arrives.
Princeton: (looks at list) Okay, sir, it says here your name is "Butcher DeBaker"?
Butcher: Yes, and don't make jokes; I've heard them all.
Princeton: Can do! So, what are your qualifications?
Butcher: I have prepared meals for Queen Elizabeth, President Reagan, and Rosie O'Donnell.
Princeton: They all sound believable, except for Rosie O'Donnell; how is that a big deal?
Butcher: Buddy, if you don't have her Twinkie souffle prepared just right, run for the hills!
Princeton: I can believe that! So, Butcher, what is your speacialty dish?
Butcher: Oh, without a doubt, my "Zebra le Paxton" is far beyond any comparison.
Princeton: "Zebra"? As in "prison horse"?
Butcher: Sir, that is the worst insult you could possibly give me! You do not even realize the tenderness, the juiciness, the amount of heat strokes I have suffered running through the jungle to catch those buggers!
Princeton: Right. Well, we'll keep in touch, but I'll have to ask around to see if people will eat zebra.
Butcher: Darn tootin' we'll keep in touch! The zebra is so elusive, if I see stripes in my dreams, I go insane!
Commercial Break
Open on Puddin's studio. Princeton and Puddin' are talking about Butcher's interview.
Puddin': Well, it sounds like it went well.
Princeton: Puddin', you don't understand! The guy cooks zebra!
Puddin': So? What's wrong with zebra?
Princeton: Ordinary people are NOT going to pay money to eat an extremely exotic meat in the U.S.! Kenya, maybe, would be do-able, but not Toledo! If you wanted to have an exotic Toledo-based meal, we could dig up a mud hen somewhere!
Puddin': Prinny, don't knock Toledo! Toledo may not be Calcutta, but this Bohemia is far from dead! Besides, I know someone who can stomach zebra.
Princeton: Let me guess. Colby, the Carmen Electra to your Dennis Rodman?
Puddin': Of course! He owns yachts, he drinks Fuzzy Navels...
Princeton: He gets totally inexperienced people to do his work for him...
Puddin': Oh, DO be still! Let me just give him a call; he'll be happy to do a taste test to make sure it's top-notch. Which of course to him it will be; The man is, after all, a connoisseur of all things dignified.
Commercial Break
Open on the Turquoise Parrot. Princeton, Puddin', and Butcher are waiting for Colby to arrive.
Butcher: When is this guy going to show up? Time is money, and zebra steaks are very temperamental.
Puddin': Don't worry, Butcher, he'll come.
Princeton: In the year 2020, naturally.
Puddin': Oh, hush! (sees Colby) Oh, wait, here he comes!
Colby: Puddin', darling, sorry I'm late! I was consoling Idina Menzel; she's upset about not winning an Oscar for "Rent".
Princeton: And well she should be, too.
Puddin': Hear, hear. That diva needs her stage.
Butcher: Never mind about that! Colby, taste this so I'll know if I get the job!
Colby: Okay, here goes! (takes a bite) Oh, Butcher, this is fantastic!
Butcher: Really?!
Colby: Like velvet in my mouth!
Butcher: Tres magnifique! Oh, Colby, Princeton, merci! (leaves)
Princeton: What a great liar you are, Colby!
Colby: That wasn't a lie! I would NEVER lie about exotic meats.
Puddin': Thankfully, you don't go to prison for lying.
Colby: Amen to that! Then the whole world would have to wear stripes!
Princeton: And then Butcher would make a fortune out of our meat and hides!
The End
Airdate- 3-11-06
Written and Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin'
Kimp the Shrimp as Butcher DeBaker
G-MAN as Colby
Open on the Turquoise Parrot. Princeton is interviewing people to be the new chef. Finally, the last person arrives.
Princeton: (looks at list) Okay, sir, it says here your name is "Butcher DeBaker"?
Butcher: Yes, and don't make jokes; I've heard them all.
Princeton: Can do! So, what are your qualifications?
Butcher: I have prepared meals for Queen Elizabeth, President Reagan, and Rosie O'Donnell.
Princeton: They all sound believable, except for Rosie O'Donnell; how is that a big deal?
Butcher: Buddy, if you don't have her Twinkie souffle prepared just right, run for the hills!
Princeton: I can believe that! So, Butcher, what is your speacialty dish?
Butcher: Oh, without a doubt, my "Zebra le Paxton" is far beyond any comparison.
Princeton: "Zebra"? As in "prison horse"?
Butcher: Sir, that is the worst insult you could possibly give me! You do not even realize the tenderness, the juiciness, the amount of heat strokes I have suffered running through the jungle to catch those buggers!
Princeton: Right. Well, we'll keep in touch, but I'll have to ask around to see if people will eat zebra.
Butcher: Darn tootin' we'll keep in touch! The zebra is so elusive, if I see stripes in my dreams, I go insane!
Commercial Break
Open on Puddin's studio. Princeton and Puddin' are talking about Butcher's interview.
Puddin': Well, it sounds like it went well.
Princeton: Puddin', you don't understand! The guy cooks zebra!
Puddin': So? What's wrong with zebra?
Princeton: Ordinary people are NOT going to pay money to eat an extremely exotic meat in the U.S.! Kenya, maybe, would be do-able, but not Toledo! If you wanted to have an exotic Toledo-based meal, we could dig up a mud hen somewhere!
Puddin': Prinny, don't knock Toledo! Toledo may not be Calcutta, but this Bohemia is far from dead! Besides, I know someone who can stomach zebra.
Princeton: Let me guess. Colby, the Carmen Electra to your Dennis Rodman?
Puddin': Of course! He owns yachts, he drinks Fuzzy Navels...
Princeton: He gets totally inexperienced people to do his work for him...
Puddin': Oh, DO be still! Let me just give him a call; he'll be happy to do a taste test to make sure it's top-notch. Which of course to him it will be; The man is, after all, a connoisseur of all things dignified.
Commercial Break
Open on the Turquoise Parrot. Princeton, Puddin', and Butcher are waiting for Colby to arrive.
Butcher: When is this guy going to show up? Time is money, and zebra steaks are very temperamental.
Puddin': Don't worry, Butcher, he'll come.
Princeton: In the year 2020, naturally.
Puddin': Oh, hush! (sees Colby) Oh, wait, here he comes!
Colby: Puddin', darling, sorry I'm late! I was consoling Idina Menzel; she's upset about not winning an Oscar for "Rent".
Princeton: And well she should be, too.
Puddin': Hear, hear. That diva needs her stage.
Butcher: Never mind about that! Colby, taste this so I'll know if I get the job!
Colby: Okay, here goes! (takes a bite) Oh, Butcher, this is fantastic!
Butcher: Really?!
Colby: Like velvet in my mouth!
Butcher: Tres magnifique! Oh, Colby, Princeton, merci! (leaves)
Princeton: What a great liar you are, Colby!
Colby: That wasn't a lie! I would NEVER lie about exotic meats.
Puddin': Thankfully, you don't go to prison for lying.
Colby: Amen to that! Then the whole world would have to wear stripes!
Princeton: And then Butcher would make a fortune out of our meat and hides!
The End
