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Princeton
Guest
No Day But Today- Episode 10
Airdate: 4-27-06
Written and Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
Kimp the Shrimp as Butcher Debaker
Open on the Turquoise Parrot. Princeton is waiting for Butcher to arrive, while Puddin’ does the Toledo Herald’s crossword puzzle.
Puddin’: Prin, what’s a 7 letter word for “creamy dessert”?
Princeton: Of all people, you don’t know that?
Puddin’: Well, there’s so many desserts out there that fit that description, Prin. Vanilla ice cream, tiramisu, peanut butter?
Princeton: “Peanut butter”? That’s a dessert now? Oh, wait til Jif hears about this! I can see the new commercials now: “Now you can use Jif brand peanut butter not only for sandwiches, but for drowning your depression in while not caring what your cholesterol count will be!”
Puddin’: All right, Prinny, I get your point! But come on, it’s my last word and then I’ll be finished! Why don’t you give me some clues?
Princeton: Okay, rice, bread, Parker?
Puddin’: Oh, of course; pudding! Or, as I always say, “take off the G and you’ve got me!” (Butcher enters)
Butcher: Pardonnez moi for being late, Princeton; I was reading.
Princeton: Oh, well, that’s completely understandable. I mean, if you have to read, you have to read.
Butcher: Don’t be cute! I was reading to my son!
Puddin’: Oh, Butcher, I didn’t know you had children!
Butcher: But of course; Rolly, Patty, and Mark B. Again, do not make jokes…
Princeton: “You’ve heard them all”! We know, Butcher, we know. Butcher, this constant lateness is becoming a habit. I’m afraid if this continues, you’ll be out of a job.
Butcher: No, Princeton, no! Cooking is my life! Please don’t fire me; I’ll do anything!
Princeton: Anything, huh? Well then, why don’t you cook a specialty breakfast for us later this week?
Butcher: Why, that would be tres magnifique! Oh, and I have just the one, too! But it must be a surprise; that way, your taste buds will convulse with anticipation!
Commercial Break
Open on the Turquoise Parrot, a few days later. Princeton and Puddin’ are waiting for their “specialty” breakfast to arrive.
Puddin’: Butcher, where’s our food? I can’t take the waiting any longer!
Princeton: Now, Puddin’, relax, it’ll come. Besides, I think food’s the last thing you need; must be all the late night peanut butter binges. (Butcher arrives with their food)
Butcher: Here you go, my friends; oyster pancakes! (walks away)
Princeton: Well, let’s dig in!
Puddin’ (disgusted): Prinny, are you seriously considering eating that?
Princeton: Of course! I always say, “Try everything once”. Why, what’s wrong?
Puddin’: Let me put it this way: I don’t know whether to put syrup or cocktail sauce on them. For pity’s sake, Prin, fire this man immediately!
Princeton: I guess you’re right. Butcher! Can you come out here for a moment, please?
Butcher (walks in): What’s wrong, guys? You haven’t even touched them yet.
Princeton: I’m sorry, Butcher, this is unacceptable. It hurts me to fire you, but I think, under the circumstances, that’s the best thing to do.
Commercial Break
Open on the exterior of the Turquoise Parrot. Princeton is sitting out on the front stoop when Butcher runs up to him, overjoyed.
Princeton: Why do you look so happy, Butcher? Did you find a hired gun to take me down?
Butcher: But of course not! I cannot hold a grudge. No, I’ve got great news; I’ve found another cooking job!
Princeton: That’s great, Butcher! Where?
Butcher: At Shultzy’s Gross Goodies Enporium! Oh, I am overjoyed!
Princeton: Well, I’m happy for you, Butcher. And again, I’m sorry.
Butcher: Don’t be, it’s fine! Anyway, I’ve got to get back. But tell Puddin’ that I’ve taken her advice on what to put on the oyster pancakes.
Princeton: Oh, you heard that, huh?
Butcher: Of course I did! She’s a very loud woman, you know!
Princeton: Yep! Which reminds me, I’m dreading telling her that Jif won’t be on sale for a while. I better get going., too, I just wanna get it over with!
The End
Airdate: 4-27-06
Written and Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
Kimp the Shrimp as Butcher Debaker
Open on the Turquoise Parrot. Princeton is waiting for Butcher to arrive, while Puddin’ does the Toledo Herald’s crossword puzzle.
Puddin’: Prin, what’s a 7 letter word for “creamy dessert”?
Princeton: Of all people, you don’t know that?
Puddin’: Well, there’s so many desserts out there that fit that description, Prin. Vanilla ice cream, tiramisu, peanut butter?
Princeton: “Peanut butter”? That’s a dessert now? Oh, wait til Jif hears about this! I can see the new commercials now: “Now you can use Jif brand peanut butter not only for sandwiches, but for drowning your depression in while not caring what your cholesterol count will be!”
Puddin’: All right, Prinny, I get your point! But come on, it’s my last word and then I’ll be finished! Why don’t you give me some clues?
Princeton: Okay, rice, bread, Parker?
Puddin’: Oh, of course; pudding! Or, as I always say, “take off the G and you’ve got me!” (Butcher enters)
Butcher: Pardonnez moi for being late, Princeton; I was reading.
Princeton: Oh, well, that’s completely understandable. I mean, if you have to read, you have to read.
Butcher: Don’t be cute! I was reading to my son!
Puddin’: Oh, Butcher, I didn’t know you had children!
Butcher: But of course; Rolly, Patty, and Mark B. Again, do not make jokes…
Princeton: “You’ve heard them all”! We know, Butcher, we know. Butcher, this constant lateness is becoming a habit. I’m afraid if this continues, you’ll be out of a job.
Butcher: No, Princeton, no! Cooking is my life! Please don’t fire me; I’ll do anything!
Princeton: Anything, huh? Well then, why don’t you cook a specialty breakfast for us later this week?
Butcher: Why, that would be tres magnifique! Oh, and I have just the one, too! But it must be a surprise; that way, your taste buds will convulse with anticipation!
Commercial Break
Open on the Turquoise Parrot, a few days later. Princeton and Puddin’ are waiting for their “specialty” breakfast to arrive.
Puddin’: Butcher, where’s our food? I can’t take the waiting any longer!
Princeton: Now, Puddin’, relax, it’ll come. Besides, I think food’s the last thing you need; must be all the late night peanut butter binges. (Butcher arrives with their food)
Butcher: Here you go, my friends; oyster pancakes! (walks away)
Princeton: Well, let’s dig in!
Puddin’ (disgusted): Prinny, are you seriously considering eating that?
Princeton: Of course! I always say, “Try everything once”. Why, what’s wrong?
Puddin’: Let me put it this way: I don’t know whether to put syrup or cocktail sauce on them. For pity’s sake, Prin, fire this man immediately!
Princeton: I guess you’re right. Butcher! Can you come out here for a moment, please?
Butcher (walks in): What’s wrong, guys? You haven’t even touched them yet.
Princeton: I’m sorry, Butcher, this is unacceptable. It hurts me to fire you, but I think, under the circumstances, that’s the best thing to do.
Commercial Break
Open on the exterior of the Turquoise Parrot. Princeton is sitting out on the front stoop when Butcher runs up to him, overjoyed.
Princeton: Why do you look so happy, Butcher? Did you find a hired gun to take me down?
Butcher: But of course not! I cannot hold a grudge. No, I’ve got great news; I’ve found another cooking job!
Princeton: That’s great, Butcher! Where?
Butcher: At Shultzy’s Gross Goodies Enporium! Oh, I am overjoyed!
Princeton: Well, I’m happy for you, Butcher. And again, I’m sorry.
Butcher: Don’t be, it’s fine! Anyway, I’ve got to get back. But tell Puddin’ that I’ve taken her advice on what to put on the oyster pancakes.
Princeton: Oh, you heard that, huh?
Butcher: Of course I did! She’s a very loud woman, you know!
Princeton: Yep! Which reminds me, I’m dreading telling her that Jif won’t be on sale for a while. I better get going., too, I just wanna get it over with!
The End
